To all models: Do friendships with members work?

[Anonymous]

Hi,

I have struck up something of an unconventional friendship with a model. I work night shift and away from home a lot and signed up to MFC for the reason I expect every guy does, but ended up actually clicking with a girl and for the next couple of months pretty much spent every other day chatting random bollox keeping her (and me) entertained. We live on opposite sides of the world but we have a lot in common on a base level

This is where I feel I need to add a disclaimer: I do not hold any delusions of wanting to be with her, I am in a committed relationship with a woman I love. I genuinely actually just really like her as a person, we talk on the phone, exchange texts, chat on skype and it's never anything remotely sexual we just have a laugh, we know each others real info blah blah. I'll admit of course I have a bit of a crush on her, but I have a lil crush on most of my female friends (lol) it's nothing more than that.

Ok so what's the problem you ask... there's a few

1) I am terrified of coming across as a weirdo. I work by myself and travel a lot so I have a lot of time on my own in motel rooms in the middle of the day bored as a muh fuqa (hence this thread). So where as if she lived up the road I would just be like yo come out for a beer and chat shit for a bit, I can't... so I find myself writing her messages, not a lot just the odd one every couple of days or something but still if it was the other way round I would be like who is this dude

2) I know she doesn't particularly like camming as she told me as much, she is only doing it short term to get some quick cash (I imagine that's what every cam girl says at first). So I worry about her, I worry about the people inevitably recording her, the affect on her mentally, the weirdos getting too attached to her (and there's a few), as you all know once that shit is out there it's out there somewhere. She has gone from pretty tame stuff to pretty explicit public shows in a short time. That's the thing, I know it's not my place to worry, none of my business and I've only said it to her once as I'm not a prick, but it's not easy to watch a friend do that (I deleted my account)

So anyway, sorry for the massive ramble and to the point of the thread:

In your experience can friendships between model/member work or does the above bullshit get in the way from either side?

She doesn't seem to care, she's cool as fuck, I'm the paranoid one.

:handgestures-salute:

 

[SatanJonez]

So anyway, sorry for the massive ramble and to the point of the thread:

In your experience can friendships between model/member work or does the above bullshit get in the way from either side?

I've had a friendship with a member of MFC who's situation is pretty similar to yours (committed relationship, loves her/doesn't want that type of relationship with me, kind of an awkward person/inside his own head a lot). We've never had an issue with the chat or cam stuff interfering, when I'm at work he generally is just quiet & tips occasionally if he hangs out. I would say it's been a pleasant experience with little to no bullshit involved. I'd say with the right two people, it's entirely possible.

2) I know she doesn't particularly like camming as she told me as much, she is only doing it short term to get some quick cash (I imagine that's what every cam girl says at first). So I worry about her, I worry about the people inevitably recording her, the affect on her mentally, the weirdos getting too attached to her (and there's a few), as you all know once that shit is out there it's out there somewhere. She has gone from pretty tame stuff to pretty explicit public shows in a short time. That's the thing, I know it's not my place to worry, none of my business and I've only said it to her once as I'm not a prick, but it's not easy to watch a friend do that (I deleted my account)

First of all, not every cam girl goes into this for quick cash. From the start, at least speaking for myself, I was in it for as long as people could stand me. Just had to get that part of of my system. Secondly, it sucks she doesn't like camming, but you can't be worrying about her because those things will happen & she's obviously over 18 so she needs to figure out on her own whether or not this is right for her. She'll either quit in her own time (most girls don't last longer than a year) or find a way to make it so she likes it (this is possible). You telling her anything about what she should do (again) could possibly put you on her shit list if she does quit & regrets it. If you already deleted your account there's no need to worry unless she brings up something life threatening connected to camming (stalker/suicidal thoughts/etc). It's cool you're a good friend, but stay neutral when it comes to that topic.

 

[Kickaz]

Hello ethanol. Friendship is definitely possible between members and models. At least for me. We are all human beings after all and even if the circumstances are different we are still programmed to be social.

I don't click with everyone but there's a few regs of mine that I truly care, respect and feel comfortable spending time with them(online) without expecting any payment.
This is truly platonical, I have no intention to seek a relationship with them or meet them outside of the Internet world because I simply don't have the time to travel and I'm happy with just talking to them online.

I suggest you don't worry about it or show her any sign of worry since she might think there might be something bad that you're hiding, which doesn't seem you're not. On that note, as long as you don't hint her to meet up, date her or show any other sign of obsession it should be fine.

On a side note, not all models dislike what they do. I started camming 5 months ago and I truly have fun when I'm online. I like the interactive part of it and sometimes miss my regs as much as they miss me. I keep the sexual stuff within my comfort level and I don't let anyone change that despite how much money they pay me. Sure I have days that I'm exhausted and tired, but dont we all in any job. The bottom line is that I'm here because I want to and I don't feel like I'm doing anything wrong.

 

[Anonymous]

Thank you for your replies and advice and apologies for the generalisation there.

also I am new so haven't figured out how to quote properly yet.

Of course you are both right and I'm not going to mention it again. I don't think you are doing anything wrong and I don't think any less of her for doing it at all. You are right she is over 18 and old enough to decide for herself so I'll leave her to it. Thanks

"I suggest you don't worry about it or show her any sign of worry since she might think there might be something bad that you're hiding, which doesn't seem you're not. On that note, as long as you don't hint her to meet up, date her or show any other sign of obsession it should be fine."'

I'm not hiding anything I'm a big fanny at heart lol or obsessed, but that's exactly my main concern as there is that level of paranoia hanging over (quite rightly). I guess there is that risk in every walk of life but it just seems like a weird situation to me but I am grateful you guys have assured me that it's not as uncommon as I was thinking

I have been working all night and drunk too many energy drinks so I should probs try and get some sleep. Thanks again

 

[Anonymous]

"inside his own head a lot"

yep that's me i annoy myself ha

oh and on a side note, I would never go weird on her and start asking to meet up or any shit like that. Course I would meet her if she wanted as I have nothing to fear as I'm a big ugly bastard but that would be entirely up to her and extremely unlikely as we live thousands of miles apart... I've said we would be mad clubbing partners but she's knows I'm just making conversation.

I never contact her via her personal details even though she gave them to me. Last thing I would want to do is freak her out

I don't know what I'm worried about, it's all chill really when you look at the actual situation.

 

[Evvie]

In your experience can friendships between model/member work or does the above bullshit get in the way from either side?

Sometimes it works.
Sometimes it doesn't.

There is no magical friendship combination in the world that will ALWAYS work out. No matter where you meet someone, there is always going to be bullshit involved, because there are two people involved.

Lots of models have great friends they met from camsites.
Lots of models have no friends they met from camsites.

There have been huge threads debating this, but it pretty much comes down to the people involved.

Personally; I have plenty of friends. I cam to work. I really really enjoy talking to members and hanging out with people (to the point where it hurts my income), but there comes a point where when I see the same member for five days in a row who just wants to talk and get to know me, but who makes it clear he will never tip or take me private, when I no longer want to talk to them. Does this make me a filthy dirty whore? Maybe. But to me, this is like going to the car lot every day to talk to the salesman without ever intending to buy a car, or talking to the hair lady for hours on end without intending to make an appointment; this is my job, and I'm here to work. I can socialize during work, but if your make it clear you do not want to be my client, then I'm going to make way for people that will be. This may not reflect your relationship with the model, OP, but I would encourage you to not let your friendship get in the way of her work.

 

[Anonymous]

Yeh exactly Evvie also a reason why I deleted my account.

I did tip but I was never going to be the big tipper (all I was doing was having a chat) couple hundred tokens here and there mostly for comical shit but some of the other members would get mad jelous and I think it probably would have an adverse effect on her earning potential

It was the right thing to delete my account and any issues surrounding that will probably disappear now and I just wont talk about that side of things.

Ah well, I hope we remain friends and think we will, but if not people drift it's cool

 

[Anonymous]

and no it doesn't make you a filthy dirty w----, it's perfectly understandable

anyway i need to sleep thank you very much for your replies. I will feel like a tit for posting this thread when I wake up but there you go

:handgestures-salute:

 

[Kradek]

10 page thread in this very forum...

 

[Anonymous]

and no it doesn't make you a filthy dirty w----, it's perfectly understandable

Aw, you didn't want to type out the word 'whore'...lol. You're nice!

 

[SatanJonez]

and no it doesn't make you a filthy dirty w----, it's perfectly understandable

Aw, you didn't want to type out the word 'whore'...lol. You're nice!

I was just thinking that. :lol:

 

[Anonymous]

so, still awake, I knew I shouldn't have had that 3rd can of V

Thanks Kradak, normally I would be a bit embarrassed posting a thread that's obviously been discussed to the death but that just reassured me big time

And lol, I do swear like a trooper in conversation but yeh that's not a nice word. Worse than the cword me thinks

So, now I feel like a complete prick for telling her I don't think she should cam and I want to send her a message telling her I'm sorry and it was out of order but then I'd feel like a stalker! Ahhh LOL, I'll wait a few days see if she calls me (ever again) and apologise properly then.

It's only because she said she was only doing it short term and some other negative things. It's a big thing to do on the internet if you are only hoping for a few grand out of it.

Thanks again guys

 

[Anonymous]

"but yeh that's not a nice word. Worse than the cword me thinks" not because of what it stands for either... people say c-nt, fuck and bugger all day in light hearted conversation but when they say w---- they are usually trying to be genuinely derogatory. The word slut is fine, especially behind closed doors between consenting adults haha

I'm fully talking shit sorry, goodnight

 

[Just Me]

Hi,

I have struck up something of an unconventional friendship with a model. I work night shift and away from home a lot and signed up to MFC for the reason I expect every guy does, but ended up actually clicking with a girl and for the next couple of months pretty much spent every other day chatting random bollox keeping her (and me) entertained. We live on opposite sides of the world but we have a lot in common on a base level

This is where I feel I need to add a disclaimer: I do not hold any delusions of wanting to be with her, I am in a committed relationship with a woman I love. I genuinely actually just really like her as a person, we talk on the phone, exchange texts, chat on skype and it's never anything remotely sexual we just have a laugh, we know each others real info blah blah. I'll admit of course I have a bit of a crush on her, but I have a lil crush on most of my female friends (lol) it's nothing more than that.

Ok so what's the problem you ask... there's a few

1) I am terrified of coming across as a weirdo. I work by myself and travel a lot so I have a lot of time on my own in motel rooms in the middle of the day bored as a muh fuqa (hence this thread). So where as if she lived up the road I would just be like yo come out for a beer and chat shit for a bit, I can't... so I find myself writing her messages, not a lot just the odd one every couple of days or something but still if it was the other way round I would be like who is this dude

2) I know she doesn't particularly like camming as she told me as much, she is only doing it short term to get some quick cash (I imagine that's what every cam girl says at first). So I worry about her, I worry about the people inevitably recording her, the affect on her mentally, the weirdos getting too attached to her (and there's a few), as you all know once that shit is out there it's out there somewhere. She has gone from pretty tame stuff to pretty explicit public shows in a short time. That's the thing, I know it's not my place to worry, none of my business and I've only said it to her once as I'm not a prick, but it's not easy to watch a friend do that (I deleted my account)

So anyway, sorry for the massive ramble and to the point of the thread:

In your experience can friendships between model/member work or does the above bullshit get in the way from either side?

She doesn't seem to care, she's cool as fuck, I'm the paranoid one.

:handgestures-salute:

If you are in a committed relationship with someone you love, why the somewhat obsessive first posting here? This is something I would discuss with my significant other. That you are posing the question anonymously to a message board says more than your post does.

I am somewhat confused on why you are paranoid if you are just wanting to be friends. Generally, friendships do not require the thoughts and paranoia you are placing on this relationship. I can see why she told you she doesn't enjoy camming if you had a reaction to her being more explicit in her public shows but it was a prick move to even bring it up once. What she is comfortable doing and what you are comfortable with are separate things and as a friend I would have been more supportive.

Leaving MFC is a good thing if you can not deal with what she does there. It is also the fastest way to find out how far your friendship extends. If you are paranoid that she is just friendly with you because of MFC, you will soon find out if that is true if you no longer interact with her on MFC.

 

[Anonymous]

[/quote]If you are in a committed relationship with someone you love, why the somewhat obsessive first posting here? This is something I would discuss with my significant other. That you are posing the question anonymously to a message board says more than your post does. [/quote]

Hey, thanks for your reply. I am posting it anonymously on a message board as there is no other way to post it on here? Who better to ask about a situation than people who have been doing this for a long time. I'm hardly going to post a bio with my name and address on my first post in a forum... but I am certainly not hiding anything. The conversation with my significant other would be a difficult one to have and unnecessary... what input would she have, it would hurt her feelings and she wouldn't understand it. She's cool with me having female friends but an online cam girl would be a difficult one to explain.

I shouldn't have posted this, I knew it would come across wrong... as I said I just have to much time to waste at the moment

[/quote]I am somewhat confused on why you are paranoid if you are just wanting to be friends. Generally, friendships do not require the thoughts and paranoia you are placing on this relationship. I can see why she told you she doesn't enjoy camming if you had a reaction to her being more explicit in her public shows but it was a prick move to even bring it up once. What she is comfortable doing and what you are comfortable with are separate things and as a friend I would have been more supportive.[/quote]

Ok paranoia was probably too strong a word, but I'll address that in a second. I have never had an adverse reaction to her camming or her shows, always been nothing but complimentary and told her they were awesome. I have, had no issue with until it became clear from a couple of conversations that she didn't really want to be doing it. I just don't get the mentality if you only want a quick buck why would you take such a massive risk, the footage could be anywhere and surface anytime, that would drive me nuts. I brought it up as I felt if I wanted to consider myself an actual friend I should do... I realise now it was the wrong thing to do. I realised it at the time and said I knew it wasn't my place but still said it which I regret

The anxiety comes from the fact I have befriended somebody on a webcam site. That may sound like what's the big deal but it's a very unusual thing for me, while I know there is nothing wrong with it, if people knew they would 1.) be hurt (gf) 2.) laugh at me (everyone) 3.) think I was a weirdo (everyone). The obvious thing would be well leave it alone, make another friend, but I actually really like the chick and want to know how she gets on in life and see nothing wrong with being friends with whoever.

[/quote]Leaving MFC is a good thing if you can not deal with what she does there. It is also the fastest way to find out how far your friendship extends. If you are paranoid that she is just friendly with you because of MFC, you will soon find out if that is true if you no longer interact with her on MFC.[/quote]

It is the right thing to do, it's not just because of her either. I saw a different side to MFC recently, when I signed up I had great fun getting the models to laugh and who doesn't like looking at hot women. But recently I saw more of the flipside... a girl sitting there crying because she wasn't being tipped which is just seemed so wrong to be basing your self worth off MFC, a drunk girl getting egged on to do more and more when she was wasted and clearly just needed to go to bed, a smashed girl on booze and ambien half comatose and people still going with the "show tits bb". It left a bad taste

I'm not really paranoid about her intentions, I was a bit after I spoke to another model and said that's all it would be... but I'm not a scam target and I have no illusion that she wants nothing more than someone to talk to now and then and that's cool by me.

As I said I know this thread will come across weird, it does to me, but it's not like that. When you look at the actual situation there is no big deal. I was just concerned for her but I need to chill out and step away from that

Thanks

 

[16_bit]

Just a note ethanol to help figure out quoting, at the start you need to use quote="username" in [] and only use /quote in [] at the end. So, as you were replying to Just Me, it would look like this in the reply section

[quote="Just Me"]text here[/quote]

On topic, may i ask you this: Do you see her as "a friend whose job is a webcam model" or do you see her as "my friend the webcam model"? The reason i ask is that while camming is different to 'normal' jobs, would you be this concerned for any other friend who mentioned they didn't like their job?
I'm friends with a model but i know i see her as my firend whose job is a webcam model and i treat her like i do any of my other friends. If she ever made mention of not liking her job, i wouldn't tell her to stop, i would suggest that maybe it would be useful to make a list of the pros and cons. Anytime i give my view on something, i always try to make sure it's just my view or what i might do in the situation rather than saying it's what she should do.
I understand you're trying to help out someone who has become a friend, it's just sometimes how you say something can come across more than what you say. For instance, saying "This isn't making you happy, you should stop camming" sounds worse to me than "Well if you aren't happy with camming, do you think it would be better to stop?"

 

[Anonymous]

Just a note ethanol to help figure out quoting, at the start you need to use quote="username" in [] and only use /quote in [] at the end. So, as you were replying to Just Me, it would look like this in the reply section

[quote="Just Me"]text here[/quote]

On topic, may i ask you this: Do you see her as "a friend whose job is a webcam model" or do you see her as "my friend the webcam model"? The reason i ask is that while camming is different to 'normal' jobs, would you be this concerned for any other friend who mentioned they didn't like their job?
I'm friends with a model but i know i see her as my firend whose job is a webcam model and i treat her like i do any of my other friends. If she ever made mention of not liking her job, i wouldn't tell her to stop, i would suggest that maybe it would be useful to make a list of the pros and cons. Anytime i give my view on something, i always try to make sure it's just my view or what i might do in the situation rather than saying it's what she should do.
I understand you're trying to help out someone who has become a friend, it's just sometimes how you say something can come across more than what you say. For instance, saying "This isn't making you happy, you should stop camming" sounds worse to me than "Well if you aren't happy with camming, do you think it would be better to stop?"

Thanks, too late to edit my last post now but I will get it!

I see her as a friend who's job is a webcam model, I'm really not interested in the other side of it any more and will prefer it when it's not the biggest factor in our friendship (if she doesn't think im a douche by now lol)

You are right I wouldn't be anywhere near as concerned if she had a different job. I guess it is just the possible ramifications of it, she is only 18 and been doing it a few months and has already had a couple of experiences which could have seen her "outed" (for want of a better way of putting it). She got scammed on skype under her real name and inadvertently gave her address out to someone. It's one thing owning what you do, being aware of possible consequences and facing up to that, but to want to move on in a couple of months and face the possibility of being exposed in a potentially extremely humiliating way just seems like a bad idea to me.

And you are right again, I tried to put it as tactfully as possible and did apologise at the time as well but I shouldn't have said it. I'll leave her alone until/if she contacts me, I don't want to be that guy who fucks with her head, I just want to have a laugh now and then. I like to think of myself as a good friend to people you know, try and be there for them, but it's just an odd situation


edit: If I met a cam girl at a party or something and for some reason she told me she was a cam girl I wouldn't give a fuck, I would be like oh that's cool and probably start talking about something else. I'm not a judgemental person at all and I don't think there is anything wrong with it if you own it. It is literally just this situation that messed with my head a bit

 

[Anonymous]

So basically I learnt a few things from this thread...

1) I drink far too much caffeine

2) Constant nightshifts suck balls

3) I need to stop being a pussy, relax and not make problems where there are really none.

I appreciate the feedback, advice and direction to alike stories.

Peace

Moderator if you see this please feel free to delete this thread, thanks

 

[AssCork]

So basically I learnt a few things from this thread...
1) I drink far too much caffeine
2) Constant nightshifts suck balls
3) I need to stop being a pussy, relax and not make problems where there are really none.
I appreciate the feedback, advice and direction to alike stories.
Peace
Moderator if you see this please feel free to delete this thread, thanks

Fellow graveyard shift worker here (so I can empathize with the coffee/schedule comments). As for friendship on MFC; I know it's possible.
The combination of personalities involved is what's important, as others have said.

Shift-work can impeed/prevent a "real" (as in IRL) social life, so MFC offers a way to hang-out with people. At a minimum, this type of consistent interaction can keep the Howard Hughes-esq recluse/hermit behavior from settling-in.

Striking-up friendships with members, and even models, is bound to happen given the right mix of time and people.
I have to say, I'm glad I started visiting the site, I've met some spectacular people.

 

[Just Me]

Maybe we should go beyond the normal question of can members and models be friends. :lol:

 

[bob]

So, now I feel like a complete prick for telling her I don't think she should cam......

in all of your musings and conflicts, this is the one thing that caught my eye, ethanol.....in threads like this, i'm always reminded that only you know the real truth behind your words (which is not to question what you've said in the least....it is rather a recognition of nuance and mystery that defies words)

i for one, respect those things....and my feeling is that guys who come here with the desire to "debrief" are too often steered away from their truth.....

there was a reason you acknowledged that feeling about her camming to your friend.....and there's no way in hell (or camland :lol: ) you should be feeling like a prick about it.....with all due respect to everyone who posts here, this forum puts a rightfully (considering its context) heavily emphasis on the boundaries between illusion and reality....it's definitely something to pay attention to, imo......but inevitably, when threads like yours emerge, it's about transcending those boundaries....and my gut feeling -especially when the guy seems "on top" of his personal situation as you do- is always that one should follow their heart.

a scant 30 or so years ago.....a job like yours would not have had the opportunities that it has today.....you would have talked to your SO more on the rotary dial phone and maybe felt how much she appreciates your efforts, or watched "mash", eating one of those 200 million mcd's burger that had been sold, or found the local strip club....today you can power right though all of that and go somewhere where casual conversation stimulates parts of you without any real effort whatsoever......
and you come here wondering what it means.

it means you're alive....and frustrated.....

:twocents-02cents:

 

[Anonymous]

""

Thanks man. Working nights definitely takes it's toll on all other areas of your life.

Maybe we should go beyond the normal question of can members and models be friends. :lol:

thanks haha. Those vids are hilarious and I admit I have a lil crush on her, I've told her as much. But I'm not a schoolboy and know the difference between real love built through shared experience and ideas and fancying someone because they are a hot cookie and I'm perfectly comfortable with it and would never want to take it further. A bit of flirtation is healthy.

''"

Thanks Bob,

A lot of what I wrote up there is sleep deprived, caffeine induced rambles, the real issue is I care about this girl and I think in her circumstance she could potentially be making a massive mistake.

I do actually stand by what I said to her even though it obviously isn't my place to be telling her what to do with her life. Hell, if I didn't have interfering friends when I was a reckless 18 yr old I would quite literally be dead.

But it's not my place, the internet is not the place for it and all I will achieve if I kept it up is her shutting me out. As somebody said above all I can do is be there as support if she needs it and somebody to be normal with when she doesn't

I hope we remain friends, but if she doesn't want to as it all got a bit real that's fine. I can only hope the best for her and that she achieves her dreams and happiness

 

[Anonymous]

OK so I been perusing the forum and learning a few things and hella realise i sound like one of these white knight thingy ma dudes

Let me just clear a couple of things up so

The only reason I said all that shit about supporting her is coz she recently moved away from every one she knows and doesnt really have anyone on a level... I recently moved long distance too (i said we had shit in common)

Only reason I said about I hope she achieves her dreams etc is because she been telling me about them for the last couple of months

I'm not a sketchy dude, I like beer, music, women and things with engines, I'm simples

I been in loads of models rooms, I had convos with several of the models I see posting around here, I don't want to save anyone, I don't want to save her... it just fucked with my head and I wanted to talk about it

Man fuck the internet, fuck camsites, fuck this thread, fuck my life

(lol)

Have a nice day

:handgestures-salute:

 

[SatanJonez]

 

[Anonymous]

i know wtf right

 

[Anonymous]

hey, could somebody help me with how to delete my account, I can't find it in the FAQ?

I'm over the whole thing, it's literally been bugging me for the last 2 days and that's not me man so I'm just going to step away from it all

 

[FrenchKitty]

hey, could somebody help me with how to delete my account, I can't find it in the FAQ?

I'm over the whole thing, it's literally been bugging me for the last 2 days and that's not me man so I'm just going to step away from it all

do not overreact, don't be so rash, hang out, have a cup of tea with us, we already forgot all about this, please have a macaroon they're exquisite!

 

[CaptainBumface]

Hey,

So I'm ethanol the guy who made this thread. This crossed my mind so I thought I would give an update as I imagine some of the more jaded cam site models/users would've understandably thought I'd been sipping the crazy juice. I hadn't I was just under a lot of pressure in my own life and I guess I vented it by focusing that stress/worry on an issue completely unrelated to my own.

Anyway....

We are still friends, we still keep in contact via facebook and skype occasionally, all is cool on that front.

She doesn't cam any more, she actually gave up around the time this thread was made, she achieved her target amount of $$$$ and had generally had enough of what goes with it. She's doing really well, had a few tough times, on off boyfriends a twat, etc, problems that we all have but she's a strong spirit so will be fine.

Some guy did record one of her shows and put it on a forum and a fileshare site. Thankfully it is unlikely anyone she knows would stumble across it, but still if you are a guy that does that shit and you read this you are a massive douche.

I don't go on mfc anymore, don't think there's anything wrong with it per se, personal choice etc. but personally I do think it's kind of fucked up. I do miss some of the random conversations with some truly entertaining characters and there were a fair few models I know I would click with on a friendship basis and have right laugh with.... but it's all a bit weird on a cam site init

anyway peace to you all, good luck, may you achieve your goals, blah blah ballbags