This is very dangerous and creepy, right?

[NotYou]

1. Firstly, I am not going to say which platform this model is on because I don't want to get her in trouble.
2. Secondly, what I will say is she is still very new, maybe 2 or 3 weeks.
3. Thirdly, she has told me she has been tricked and exploited already by giving her number to someone for a skype show, and obviously not receiving anything.
4. Forth, she also had this happen again with another guy after she had given her skype and name and card number. She seemed unsure and asked me, I said it seemed very fake because he offered $230 for 2 hours of skype, but then was saying the money is sent, but she got nothing. She then told him this (not sure exactly what she wrote) and he threatened to post her number all over social media and wherever else. She blocked him any way.

So here is the current situation and my questions:

She randomly just messaged me saying someone sent her some Roses. Ok, all well and good, then she asked if they were from me. I said no because I don't have her address.
She said it was international delivery and she has never given her address to anyone but she has [as told above] given her Full Name + Bank Card (the 16 digits) + Mobile Number to some people. I don't know how many people, or who. She said someone found her address from her phone number.

She has no idea WHO it is. She seems quite naive and is really thrilled about it (which I can understand) and is in the mind of "aww someone really loves me and wants to make me happy" - which of course, maybe it COULD be.
However, the situation is the fact they googled her or whatever, found her address and did this. I have been trying to explain this to her and why/how it's not necessarily a good thing and it is really dangerous, but it's not going through to her, unfortunately.
I have tried to tell her that now the flowers have been delivered, this person knows her confirmed real address, and what is to stop them just turning up or something.


I can't think of anything else to say to try and help her understand that she should not be giving her information so easily like this, and not to trust people - and how dangerous this is that they were able to find her real address just from her number.
She is just so happy about someone "caring so much". Like already said, it's possible they might just do it to be "nice" but the fact they went and found her real address without her knowledge and did it, is really creepy, right?

Am I "overreacting" to this situation? Is there anything you ladies (or gents) can say for me to pass on to try to help her understand? Or should I just leave it be and let her make her own mistakes? By this "making her own mistakes" I mean, I have tried to and with there being nothing more I can do... i have no choice to.

I am not trying to be some white knight hero or whatever, but I can't possibly NOT try to at least explain to try make her understand how terrible guys can be on these sites and how dangerous. Especially when THEY go and FIND the address themselves.

Thanks for reading and any advice and opinions.

 

[MarieElise]

1. Firstly, I am not going to say which platform this model is on because I don't want to get her in trouble.
2. Secondly, what I will say is she is still very new, maybe 2 or 3 weeks.
3. Thirdly, she has told me she has been tricked and exploited already by giving her number to someone for a skype show, and obviously not receiving anything.
4. Forth, she also had this happen again with another guy after she had given her skype and name and card number. She seemed unsure and asked me, I said it seemed very fake because he offered $230 for 2 hours of skype, but then was saying the money is sent, but she got nothing. She then told him this (not sure exactly what she wrote) and he threatened to post her number all over social media and wherever else. She blocked him any way.

So here is the current situation and my questions:

She randomly just messaged me saying someone sent her some Roses. Ok, all well and good, then she asked if they were from me. I said no because I don't have her address.
She said it was international delivery and she has never given her address to anyone but she has [as told above] given her Full Name + Bank Card (the 16 digits) + Mobile Number to some people. I don't know how many people, or who. She said someone found her address from her phone number.

She has no idea WHO it is. She seems quite naive and is really thrilled about it (which I can understand) and is in the mind of "aww someone really loves me and wants to make me happy" - which of course, maybe it COULD be.
However, the situation is the fact they googled her or whatever, found her address and did this. I have been trying to explain this to her and why/how it's not necessarily a good thing and it is really dangerous, but it's not going through to her, unfortunately.
I have tried to tell her that now the flowers have been delivered, this person knows her confirmed real address, and what is to stop them just turning up or something.


I can't think of anything else to say to try and help her understand that she should not be giving her information so easily like this, and not to trust people - and how dangerous this is that they were able to find her real address just from her number.
She is just so happy about someone "caring so much". Like already said, it's possible they might just do it to be "nice" but the fact they went and found her real address without her knowledge and did it, is really creepy, right?

Am I "overreacting" to this situation? Is there anything you ladies (or gents) can say for me to pass on to try to help her understand? Or should I just leave it be and let her make her own mistakes? By this "making her own mistakes" I mean, I have tried to and with there being nothing more I can do... i have no choice to.

I am not trying to be some white knight hero or whatever, but I can't possibly NOT try to at least explain to try make her understand how terrible guys can be on these sites and how dangerous. Especially when THEY go and FIND the address themselves.

Thanks for reading and any advice and opinions.

What the fuck? That is very dangerous and creepy.

Why in the name of God would she give her bank number to anyone or her full name?
Do you know is she a UK person, or US, or what country is she? I would look up some DV (domestic violence) and violence statistics specific to that country and send them to her in a link. ETA; explaining why you are sending her that clearly i.e. you are concerned about her safety, and want to support her in increasing her awareness. Ultimately, however, if she won't protect herself you can't do a whole lot. Unless you know where she lives and want to try calling her into someplace (if you believe she is a danger to herself) and try to get her sectioned. In some countries that is easier to do as a concerned second party, compared with others. I doubt she's gonna like that much though (people generally don't like it if you try to get them committed), and you said you don't know where she lives. Sounds like it wouldn't be hard to find that out though since she's telling everyone else!

 

[NotYou]

She is in Ukraine, I know this much. Not sure where, as I have never asked her.

She is smart enough and seems perfectly fine in the sense of being "all there" but she is just new, naive and too nice/kind and trusting - as I do understand everyone is, to begin with. Even I didn't realise how shitty guys can be, and how dangerous they can be etc on these sites.

 

[mika_kedi]

Giving that kind of personal info is against the rules of all big platforms, so if she's doing in on the platform and not somewhere else maybe the threat of losing her account will make her stop, if the threat of getting stalked, harassed and possibly worse isn't enough?

Although it might be safer for her if she actually gets banned. Won't do anything about the damage that's done, but might stop her from repeating her mistakes.

I'm sorry if I seem harsh, the whole situation is just so terrifying I don't even know what to say.

 

[MarieElise]

Does she speak and read English? If so you could send her this.

If she won't trust or listen to you, maybe she will listen to the United States Department of Justice. Although, surprisingly a lot of people don't listen to them either.

Protecting Yourself While Using The Internet

www.justice.gov

 

[tokensarentforkids]

if being blackmailed didn't make an impression I don't think you can say anything that will. Many girls are doing drugs, in abusive relationships, etc., the guys from cammsites are small fish

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

There are threads about keeping your identity safe, maybe search some up and send her the links if you want to be helpful. Not sure what else you can do.

Why in the world would you ever give some random stranger your card info, camming or not? Something about this is not quite right. Hope nothing bad comes of it.

 

[AudriTwo]

curious about how old is she?

 

[NotYou]

I think the reason she is giving guys her phone number and/or skype is to get money via other methods because she is with a studio and obviously gets only half.
And her age is 41, so not a very young and naive girl.

 

[AudriTwo]

I think the reason she is giving guys her phone number and/or skype is to get money via other methods because she is with a studio and obviously gets only half.
And her age is 41, so not a very young and naive girl.

Thank you, because knowing her age changes my response. Yeah, she should know better. She didn't get her first bank account a couple years ago.

I'd send her this article and leave it at that. i can't fathom how a grown adult in their 40's is doing something so reckless and dangerous other than she isn't thinking rationally because of some other factor. mental illness, learning disability, drugs, ect.

 

[Feedback]

I'm guessing that she's just not very afraid that a user from America or West Eurpopa will actually show up at her door and/or stalk her. She is probably not entirely wrong in her assessment, if she really takes care not to let any of her countrymen get emotionally close to her.

If she has little fear of blackmail (since she may not have anyone to answer to at her age), she will simply consider that risk low as well.

Depending on her studio she may have dubious persons in the background anyway who make such an additional danger seem rather irrelevant.

I think that you cannot simply transfer the situation and danger as we see it in North America or Western Europe to a country like Ukraine.

 

[Helen Crimson]

Oof, this is so scary; it gives me chills. It sounds like you’ve done your part to warn her. There’s only so much you can do if she refuses to protect herself. She’s playing a risky game, but maybe it’s worth it in her mind.

 

[rockin_rod]

Sounds like she just doesn't understand the risk to her from this. If you can persuade her that it exists, that's the first step.
If the flowers have a card (or label, or whatever) that identifies the florist that delivered, she could ask them to provide the details of who ordered them. She could say it's so she can thank them.
If the florist won't divulge the details, then she could make a Police report and they should be able to get the details.
But the local police will probably not have any interest in following up, and more significantly, the model may not want to involve them if there is a chance it'll expose what she does for a living, Pretty sure (explicit) camming is illegal in Ukraine.
So she may be caught with no option.
It makes no difference if the creep is in another country, far far away, if he decides to post her address online. Somebody else who lives nearer could see it.
Agree that was an incredibly naive thing to do, and @Brett M you have done all that you can to try and help.
Fingers crossed.

 

[JessicaXOXOXO]

Back almost 16 years ago now, when I was new, young, and naive - I did give out all my information and got a Western Union from a couple customers overseas. It's hard to know what not to do (even when it all seems so obvious.) A similar FinDom teamviewer like experience involved PayPal and a lot of models fell for giving out their PayPal logins too. Live and learn. Now all these great forums and tools exist so hopefully knowledge is power now!

 

[rockin_rod]

A model friend gave a member on another site her home address when he asked to send her something.
He did go ahead and send it, but I'm really concerned for her safety long-term.
She thinks he is harmless, and I hope she's right.
But having seen his interactions with her in chat on that site, while I'm no trained psych, there's a lot of warning signs. Very obsessive, jealous and unpredictable.

 

[MarieElise]

Very obsessive, jealous and unpredictable.

Yeah, those usually aren't good signs at all...

 

[NotYou]

Sounds like she just doesn't understand the risk to her from this. If you can persuade her that it exists, that's the first step.
If the flowers have a card (or label, or whatever) that identifies the florist that delivered, she could ask them to provide the details of who ordered them. She could say it's so she can thank them.
If the florist won't divulge the details, then she could make a Police report and they should be able to get the details.
But the local police will probably not have any interest in following up, and more significantly, the model may not want to involve them if there is a chance it'll expose what she does for a living, Pretty sure (explicit) camming is illegal in Ukraine.
So she may be caught with no option.
It makes no difference if the creep is in another country, far far away, if he decides to post her address online. Somebody else who lives nearer could see it.
Agree that was an incredibly naive thing to do, and @Brett M you have done all that you can to try and help.
Fingers crossed.

This is the problem, one she doesn't seem to understand.
Just because he is ok NOW, what is to say he won't be very different in 1 week, 1 month, 6 months after she has rejected him and only wants his gifts? All it takes is for her to do, or not to do something he doesn't want or like.
She said the card has writing in Russian, they are lyrics from a song. I didn't ask what but we can probably guess.

For now, she has completely changed the subject so I guess I will too, but unfortunately, now it's a worry. I just hope she doesn't keep getting and it was only a one time thing.
Thanks everyone for the replies.

 

[rockin_rod]

She said the card has writing in Russian, they are lyrics from a song.

So if she is in Ukraine, and the writing is in Russian, is she absolutely sure it was an international delivery? There's a lot of crossover between UKR/RUS.
A lot of flower shops have 'Interflora' (or equivalent) on their deliveries/packaging, doesn't mean that they were ordered by someone in another country.
Maybe it is an admirer IRL and not necessarily connected with her camming job?

Still does not solve the matter of her freely giving way her details, but might make her a little safer if it's not a creep from the site.

 

[yummybrownfox]

HOLY SHIT. Yes, this is extremely dangerous and reckless, and makes me afraid for her. NO amount of money in your pocket...or bigger payout percentage (Just because you're in a studio, and don't like them taking a cut of your money) is worth risking your privacy/personal safety in this way. I don't give a damn if it's even a "trusted regular" or your all-time biggest tipper. You just don't do this.

And if she's on social media sites like Facebook, a guy obsessed with her could easily find her on there (Since she's giving out her real name), and have access to her family members and friends. She could be posting a picture of herself with her mom and her kids, and here comes some creep 'liking' her pictures and commenting "Nice, bb."

Damn. And I thought it was bad enough when I saw a model announce to everyone the full name of her baby boy she'd just given birth to. But THIS is terrible.

 

[Lelo1]

If you've informed her of the risks, and she doesn't care, that's not on you, that's on her.

If comes up again, and it's not against their TOS. you could suggest that she checkout this forum. She may take advice from a model better then a customer.

 

[MallorieReese]

Okaaaaaaay, it sounds like she either is a teenager or acts like one. WTF. I would never give my personal details - not even my real name - to anybody. Especially my freaking address and card number. I am having a major WTF moment.

I would highly suggest she changes her camming account, address, phone number, anything and everything basically. She is not safe anymore. I don't want to be mean or smth, but camming platforms are also sprinkled with psychos, not only nice ppl. I fear for her.