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Things members say that make you LOL

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Johndoe91 said:
Picture a model in a fairly conservative dress:

member1: cant really see your body in that thing
member2: and the inventor of clothes rests peacefully in his grave...
Click to expand...
Off topic, but I recently had a conversation about that...

Him: When do you think clothes were invented? What do you think changed that made people feel the moral obligation to cover certain parts of themselves?
Me: I think probably about the time that humans realized that bushes are scratchy and grow as tall as your penis, and sometimes you have to run through them.* So... clothing.
Him: Oh... you're definitely right.

*Not intended as a sexual euphemism. Or any other type of euphemism.
 
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Ms_Gingersnatch said:
Off topic, but I recently had a conversation about that...

Him: When do you think clothes were invented? What do you think changed that made people feel the moral obligation to cover certain parts of themselves?
Me: I think probably about the time that humans realized that bushes are scratchy and grow as tall as your penis, and sometimes you have to run through them.* So... clothing.
Him: Oh... you're definitely right.

*Not intended as a sexual euphemism. Or any other type of euphemism.
Click to expand...


What a novel idea, using clothing as protection from your environment. :giggle: And I thought we wore coats in the winter to look cool!
 
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ZoeBanx said:
someone asked to see my "flapjack". turns out he was referring to my pussy.. i've heard a lot of things but that was a new one for me lol
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Yesterday after I had read this, someone asked me in free chat if I like pancakes (which I really do! I make excellent pancakes... and pretty much nothing else I'd let another human eat.) I was so confused. I literally asked if he was talking about the food or if that was a reference to something sexual. Then he was confused. LOL!

Then again, I once heard a friend argue (with no logical explanation) that "grits" = taint when used in the phrase "kiss my grits." I guess if you say it in the right voice, pretty much anything can = genitals.
 
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I was have a laugh reading this thread yesterday before work and I had a guest that made me laugh so hard so I thought it'd post it here.

He comes into my room and says "WELL GOD BLESS AMERICA" So I say haha thanks but I'm from Canada.

So he tips me gold for a flash and says "DO IT FOR TIM HORTON"

hahaha made my night
 
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"Wow your really cute for a trans girl *insert heart eyes emoji*"
I only cam on MFC.
Where no cam model can have a dick.
Obvious troll is obvious but my mic wasn't working that day so I couldn't tell them I was pansexual actually have a bumper sticker on my car saying "Honk if you love trans girls"
 
River_Rey said:
"Wow your really cute for a trans girl *insert heart eyes emoji*"
I only cam on MFC.
Where no cam model can have a dick.
Obvious troll is obvious but my mic wasn't working that day so I couldn't tell them I was pansexual actually have a bumper sticker on my car saying "Honk if you love trans girls"
Click to expand...

I'd be willing to bet there are probably quite a few trans models on MFC. If they have had their ID's changed to female ones how would MFC even know?
 
I have started to receive random dick pics from two of my snapchat members once or twice even though I have stated I do not wish to receive them. I brought this up the other night on chaturbate to one of my most friendly regulars and he said to go check my snap, since he sent me a dick pic too. I know for a fact he isn't the type to, so I checked immediately and bursted at the seams as he'd sent me a picture of Dick Van Dyke. I know, it's an old joke but it got me so good in the moment and brought me out of the dumps! He continues to send me random "Dicks" now and then.
 
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Rumi_Bloom said:
I have started to receive random dick pics from two of my snapchat members once or twice even though I have stated I do not wish to receive them. I brought this up the other night on chaturbate to one of my most friendly regulars and he said to go check my snap, since he sent me a dick pic too. I know for a fact he isn't the type to, so I checked immediately and bursted at the seams as he'd sent me a picture of Dick Van Dyke. I know, it's an old joke but it got me so good in the moment and brought me out of the dumps! He continues to send me random "Dicks" now and then.
Click to expand...
I sent a picture of a can of spotted dick pudding to a friend on snap once. I used to see it all the time at the grocery store and deep down I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old.
 
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CoffeeKnight said:
I sent a picture of a can of spotted dick pudding to a friend on snap once. I used to see it all the time at the grocery store and deep down I have the sense of humor of a 12 year old.
Click to expand...
That's marvelous. xD
 
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Johndoe91 said:
ssgjsmith025: Dang I want to kick those tits
ssgjsmith025: Lick

Typos are funny
Click to expand...
I did much the same the other night. A model was in "business attire" with a low cut blouse mostly unbuttoned. Her tip menu had "X tokens for any flash". So I sent a tip note with a request for "a peek at your breasts" (or so I thought). She comes back with, "You want to pee on my boobs?". And I'm like, "NO NO NO, WTF did I just say?!? PEEK PEEK"

I'm not into "water sports"... (well, not that kind anyway).
 
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I once had a member type "You look eleven." I took offense and started to scold them a little that stuff like that could get me in trouble on public chat and I'm quite obviously of age at the very least. He went "OH I am SO sorry I meant to type elven cause your ears!"
 
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Member: Are you interested into the sushi roll fetish?

Me: what’s that?

He leaves

I’ve searched and I can’t find anything lol
 
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NerdyZoey said:
Member: Are you interested into the sushi roll fetish?

Me: what’s that?

He leaves

I’ve searched and I can’t find anything lol
Click to expand...

I hope it's similar to becoming a blanket burrito.
 
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