telling someone you love what you do for $

[gaycammodel]

Hi all, I was wondering if any cam models told someone what they do. I'm dreading having to do it but I know I have to.
The only thing I can think of to say is I make people happy by feeling less alone. That's probably the best way to say it without
getting to graphic. I'm not ashamed of it I love what I do, I just know I will feel shame because I will be judged.
I appreciate any advice you guys have, thank you!!!

 

[Wuggie]

Hey there!!

I would like to start with that I did not tell my parents etc what I did when I was doing camming, but my partner did tell her parents etc, so it will be from the perspective of me and her actually telling her family at that point..

She luckily had a really good relationship with her brother and he was the first person we told, because she felt easier telling it to him than anyone else in the family.. so I think the first suggestion is, find someone you are close with, that you maybe know will kind of accept it, at least with time! it be a friend, brother, sister, anything..

IF it's because you want to tell parents and so on, I fully understand that you dread it!! so did she.. it took DAYS before she send them a text with something alone "Hey, we need to talk, I'm not sick or anything but I have something to tell you that you might not be happy about" and then we setup a time to go talk with them, and yes they were not happy (Religious people and all) but within a few weeks they came to accept it luckily..

I really hope some of this can help, even though it's not DIRECTLY me that did it back then..

ETA: and I hope you will not feel shame just because of judgement.. you should not be ashamed.. it's a hard working job like any other, you just do something out of the norm that makes a lot of people happy..

 

[Vixxen81]

I've never told anyone in my family about it and I'll take it to my grave. My reason for not sharing is I didn't want to hear the endless, "but you're so smart, you could be a CEO or president of a company," stuff they'd throw at me.

I've always been the most provocative person in my family so I'm not sure it would shock them that this is what I do, but they would still be disappointed and I don't need their voices in my head while I'm working my room.

 

[Wuggie]

I've never told anyone in my family about it and I'll take it to my grave. My reason for not sharing is I didn't want to hear the endless, "but you're so smart, you could be a CEO or president of a company," stuff they'd throw at me.

I've always been the most provocative person in my family so I'm not sure it would shock them that this is what I do, but they would still be disappointed and I don't need their voices in my head while I'm working my room.

I think people underestimate how smart you have to be to cam sometimes....


oh and for the original topic: I might add, that ofc my girlfriend at the time had me with her when telling people, so she had someone (her partner) with her at all times as emotional support. that might also help if possible

 

[Vixxen81]

I think people underestimate how smart you have to be to cam sometimes....


oh and for the original topic: I might add, that ofc my girlfriend at the time had me with her when telling people, so she had someone (her partner) with her at all times as emotional support. that might also help if possible

If they could see the mental gymnastics we go through, I think we'd all welcome the recognition.

 

[gaycammodel]

Hey there!!

I would like to start with that I did not tell my parents etc what I did when I was doing camming, but my partner did tell her parents etc, so it will be from the perspective of me and her actually telling her family at that point..

She luckily had a really good relationship with her brother and he was the first person we told, because she felt easier telling it to him than anyone else in the family.. so I think the first suggestion is, find someone you are close with, that you maybe know will kind of accept it, at least with time! it be a friend, brother, sister, anything..

IF it's because you want to tell parents and so on, I fully understand that you dread it!! so did she.. it took DAYS before she send them a text with something alone "Hey, we need to talk, I'm not sick or anything but I have something to tell you that you might not be happy about" and then we setup a time to go talk with them, and yes they were not happy (Religious people and all) but within a few weeks they came to accept it luckily..

I really hope some of this can help, even though it's not DIRECTLY me that did it back then..

ETA: and I hope you will not feel shame just because of judgement.. you should not be ashamed.. it's a hard working job like any other, you just do something out of the norm that makes a lot of people happy..

Thanks Wuggie that does help and glad it worked out for your partner. My mother is very religious and had a hard enough time knowing I'm gay.
Luckily shes not the type to disown me, I know she will love me no matter what!

I've never told anyone in my family about it and I'll take it to my grave. My reason for not sharing is I didn't want to hear the endless, "but you're so smart, you could be a CEO or president of a company," stuff they'd throw at me.

I've always been the most provocative person in my family so I'm not sure it would shock them that this is what I do, but they would still be disappointed and I don't need their voices in my head while I'm working my room.

I totally get that and have considered it.

If they could see the mental gymnastics we go through, I think we'd all welcome the recognition.

YES!!!

 

[Vixxen81]

Thanks Wuggie that does help and glad it worked out for your partner. My mother is very religious and had a hard enough time knowing I'm gay.
Luckily shes not the type to disown me, I know she will love me no matter what!


I totally get that and have considered it.


YES!!!

Just remind her Jesus loved whores.

 

[somastud74]

I'm late to this discussion but wanted to chime in as another gay guy who cams.

I'm with @Vixxen81, I don't tell hardly anyone, especially family. In my case I have a couple of other employment channels so those provide cover. The person who knows the most about my cam work is my spouse, who I think doesn't quite get it but knows I enjoy it so he tolerates it and maybe appreciates aspects of it. As you mention, this job provides an outlet to people who might otherwise be feeling alone, and he gets that part. I also have a couple of friends who know I cam, but not family members.

So question would be, do you need to tell your family at all? In my case I don't think my parents would be too fazed, but at the same time I'm not sure what the point of telling them would be.

But I also wanted to talk about the shame you mention. I'm glad you're not ashamed of it I love what you do. Yes, there is a taboo to this work, but that's because people have hangups over anything sexual. And yet we're all sexual animals, with sexual needs, and camming allows us to provide an outlet for people to fulfill those needs. Then as you mention, you are providing a social outlet to people who might otherwise be isolated. Who knows, you might be the only gay person they know, or who they can interact with and talk freely with. A lot of the interaction I have with guys in my shows is not explicitly sexual - we talk about travel, the weather, hobbies, TV shows, all kinds of things. But then we can also talk about sexual things, without judgement.

It's been a month since your post, I'm curious what you might have decided!

 

[Vixxen81]

Would also enjoy an update. We haven't seen OP since this post was made.

 

[MarieElise]

Hi all, I was wondering if any cam models told someone what they do. I'm dreading having to do it but I know I have to.
The only thing I can think of to say is I make people happy by feeling less alone. That's probably the best way to say it without
getting to graphic. I'm not ashamed of it I love what I do, I just know I will feel shame because I will be judged.
I appreciate any advice you guys have, thank you!!!

Always consider your own personal safety first. You probably already thought of that, but just a reminder.
Everyone in my close, trusted inner circle knows. But no one outside of that. Not their fucking business to be getting their jollies off to, while simultaneously judging.
That being said I'm lucky enough not to have anyone in my close personal circle who would reject me, or judge for such superficial stuff. Not everyone is. Some people have horrible, close minded families.
Anyone like that related to me by blood, doesn't count as being in my close personal circle. So they don't matter to me anyway, and may as well be a stranger or non-person as far as I'm concerned tbf.

Your personal safety matters most.

 

[AussieCosplay]

Ok so I am very privileged to be able to do this and I totally recognize that.

I feel very strongly about ending the stigma towards sex work as a whole and I'm the type who mentions my job just as casually as if I were alone chef or a car salesperson.

If someone is too close minded to see past my job and to me as a person, then they're not the kind of person I want in my life (and that includes family).

I don't really know what people I'm not friends with because of it but I do know that the ones I have are awesome and interesting people.

It did strain things with my sister for many years as she was studying feminism at uni and it was very very much against any form of sex work. It took years to get her to understand that while yes, some places it is exploitative, I myself am choosing to do it and I am in control of my own body while doing it. Also that I actually want to do it, I find it very rewarding.

But yeah...if someone can't see past it, then that's on them. I hope they work through it, but I can't do that for them and I am going to continue living my best life.

 

[Wuggie]

Ok so I am very privileged to be able to do this and I totally recognize that.

I feel very strongly about ending the stigma towards sex work as a whole and I'm the type who mentions my job just as casually as if I were alone chef or a car salesperson.

If someone is too close minded to see past my job and to me as a person, then they're not the kind of person I want in my life (and that includes family).

I don't really know what people I'm not friends with because of it but I do know that the ones I have are awesome and interesting people.

It did strain things with my sister for many years as she was studying feminism at uni and it was very very much against any form of sex work. It took years to get her to understand that while yes, some places it is exploitative, I myself am choosing to do it and I am in control of my own body while doing it. Also that I actually want to do it, I find it very rewarding.

But yeah...if someone can't see past it, then that's on them. I hope they work through it, but I can't do that for them and I am going to continue living my best life.

I think this can be healthy I think sex work should be looked at just as normal as any other job

the thing that made me REALLY want to reply to this is the part about feminism, shouldn't feminists support this also? like it's not demeaning, it's literally women (and men, I know) doing what they want with THEIR body.. I might have misunderstood something with feminism here, I don't study it afterall..

 

[Vixxen81]

I think this can be healthy I think sex work should be looked at just as normal as any other job

the thing that made me REALLY want to reply to this is the part about feminism, shouldn't feminists support this also? like it's not demeaning, it's literally women (and men, I know) doing what they want with THEIR body.. I might have misunderstood something with feminism here, I don't study it afterall..

Can't speak for her, or anyone else, but in my experience that particular hitch was based on, "you're dependent on men for money." How is that not the same as being granted an allowance by a husband or boyfriend? Some people just really have a hard time wrapping their brain around transactional sex even though they do it in their own lives, it's just the IRS doesn't know about it.

 

[Wuggie]

Can't speak for her, or anyone else, but in my experience that particular hitch was based on, "you're dependent on men for money." How is that not the same as being granted an allowance by a husband or boyfriend? Some people just really have a hard time wrapping their brain around transactional sex even though they do it in their own lives, it's just the IRS doesn't know about it.

That is so odd to me.. also because sex workers sometimes don't even have sex when with clients.. they TALK, they are literally X-rated therapists a lot of the time... these jobs should get so much more praise, people think it's just like having sex with a partner it seems.. it takes immense both metnal and physical strength at times!

 

[Vixxen81]

That is so odd to me.. also because sex workers sometimes don't even have sex when with clients.. they TALK, they are literally X-rated therapists a lot of the time... these jobs should get so much more praise, people think it's just like having sex with a partner it seems.. it takes immense both metnal and physical strength at times!

Had someone say to me the other day that I lay in bed and masturbate all day. My good sir, I do not. I am a babysitter, a therapist, a mom, a makeshift wife, girl friend experience, validating their very existence at times. I spend more time talking people off ledges than I do showing my naked body and to be perfectly honest I'd much rather do the latter sometimes. There's only one person I will never cut off from personal exchanges and I hope he knows who he is. But, it's how my career developed over time and I'm the person they go to when they need sanity or a swift kick in the ass. I leaned into it because that's obviously my core strength.

 

[anabeauty37]

All my family and friends knows about my job .. if they dosnt agree they can stop talking to me, my life my decisions , but they love me and apreciate me for the person i am not becouse of doing sex work .. More difficult with others and thats why i keep only few close friends and thats it .. rest of them i have my own company and bla .. the only problem if with relationship .. every guy i tried to date and he had a serious job , was not intrested in knowing me .. after telling the true they dont talk to me anymore and one of them called me prostitute .. but i can live without a bf and with money in bank .

 

[mika_kedi]

the thing that made me REALLY want to reply to this is the part about feminism, shouldn't feminists support this also?

Yes. But sadly SWERFs (sex worker exclusionary radical feminists) exist and are listened to way too often while actual lived experience of sex workers is ignored way too often. People way smarter than me has written extensively about sex work and feminism so I won't attempt to write an essay here but rather recommend reading Revolting Prostitues by Juno Mac and Molly Smith to start if that subject really interests you.

 

[SensualJade]

Ok so I am very privileged to be able to do this and I totally recognize that.

I feel very strongly about ending the stigma towards sex work as a whole and I'm the type who mentions my job just as casually as if I were alone chef or a car salesperson.

If someone is too close minded to see past my job and to me as a person, then they're not the kind of person I want in my life (and that includes family).

I don't really know what people I'm not friends with because of it but I do know that the ones I have are awesome and interesting people.

It did strain things with my sister for many years as she was studying feminism at uni and it was very very much against any form of sex work. It took years to get her to understand that while yes, some places it is exploitative, I myself am choosing to do it and I am in control of my own body while doing it. Also that I actually want to do it, I find it very rewarding.

But yeah...if someone can't see past it, then that's on them. I hope they work through it, but I can't do that for them and I am going to continue living my best life.

Although I see the point of view of a feminist-a very tainted one at that-it still blows my mind that they don’t include sex workers. They hate mansplainers yet want to tell us about our job in which they would never dare try but they are all for women’s rights.

 

[SensualJade]

I've never told anyone in my family about it and I'll take it to my grave. My reason for not sharing is I didn't want to hear the endless, "but you're so smart, you could be a CEO or president of a company," stuff they'd throw at me.

I've always been the most provocative person in my family so I'm not sure it would shock them that this is what I do, but they would still be disappointed and I don't need their voices in my head while I'm working my room.

Same here, only some of my closest friends know and they are like my therapists without a single judgment in their bones.

There’s absolutely no one in my family whom I feel close to nor safe enough to tell. Black sheep over here!

I will also take this to my grave.

 

[anabeauty37]

Same here, only some of my closest friends know and they are like my therapists without a single judgment in their bones.

There’s absolutely no one in my family whom I feel close to nor safe enough to tell. Black sheep over here!

I will also take this to my grave.

i wish to not tell to people too... manny times was thinking to leave the sites im doing so well to go on streamate to not be visible for my privacy, but making easy money on free sites stoped me each time.. unfortunatly lots people that iknow saw me online, and they write me on fb instagram etc to tell me they saw me onlnie ..imposible to hide beeing on free sites ,. especially if you are on first page ....i had to accept the fact im making good money but my social life and private one will be fucked ...

 

[SensualJade]

i wish to not tell to people too... manny times was thinking to leave the sites im doing so well to go on streamate to not be visible for my privacy, but making easy money on free sites stoped me each time.. unfortunatly lots people that iknow saw me online, and they write me on fb instagram etc to tell me they saw me onlnie ..imposible to hide beeing on free sites ,. especially if you are on first page ....i had to accept the fact im making good money but my social life and private one will be fucked ...

I’m so sorry that happened to you, but they’re the ones logging on to the sites.

I think it depends because I know cam girls who never got found out even after ten years and they didn’t even block their location. Maybe they got lucky…I myself am very much reserved and don’t know many people and rarely go out but I’m okay with that. It depends where you’re from, who you know and if they’re assholes. It takes a certain person to do this job.

I think you’re the brave one and those who wrote to you carry more shame so they have to project it onto you. It’s a sad world, but remember that Jesus loved whores. If some acquaintance or friend told me they saw me online I’d be like cool and then proceed to tell them they were the ones seeking it out. I’ll still take it to my grave and it’s not my job to actively come out on my own if I don’t want to. Someone outing another reveals more about them and I wouldn’t want that person in my life anyways.

 

[Heaven Sins]

My boyfriend knows, but it’s on a need to know basis about the details of what I do. He’s supportive and knows, but we prefer to keep it separate, personally. It hasn’t affected any part of our relationship other than I wish I could vent to him sometimes but I don’t out of respect for him not wanting to know certain things lol.

I’ve told my close family who immediately supported and were even, maybe a little too, curious. It all depends on who they are and how well you know them and what they’d support. Either way YOU are worthy of support and shouldn’t feel guilty or bad if they take it poorly for a while. Do what makes you happy.

 

[TamaraMilano]

Hi all,
So i did this job for a few years and no one knew, ... until another camgirl, that i (thought) i was close with, told my parents and showed them content of me...
Well... theyre very conservative, we havent talked for years....
today we talk again, but never about my job.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Hi all,
So i did this job for a few years and no one knew, ... until another camgirl, that i (thought) i was close with, told my parents and showed them content of me...
Well... theyre very conservative, we havent talked for years....
today we talk again, but never about my job.

Ugh, I’m sorry that she turned out to be two-faced. To go tattle-tale about a grown-ass woman doing something legal and harmless…she’s probably a jealous hater.

 

[TamaraMilano]

Ugh, I’m sorry that she turned out to be two-faced. To go tattle-tale about a grown-ass woman doing something legal and harmless…she’s probably a jealous hater.

What i learned in the last 14 years camming is, that 100% real friendships dont exist in this industry.... unfortunately ...

 

[gaycammodel]

I'm late to this discussion but wanted to chime in as another gay guy who cams.

I'm with @Vixxen81, I don't tell hardly anyone, especially family. In my case I have a couple of other employment channels so those provide cover. The person who knows the most about my cam work is my spouse, who I think doesn't quite get it but knows I enjoy it so he tolerates it and maybe appreciates aspects of it. As you mention, this job provides an outlet to people who might otherwise be feeling alone, and he gets that part. I also have a couple of friends who know I cam, but not family members.

So question would be, do you need to tell your family at all? In my case I don't think my parents would be too fazed, but at the same time I'm not sure what the point of telling them would be.

But I also wanted to talk about the shame you mention. I'm glad you're not ashamed of it I love what you do. Yes, there is a taboo to this work, but that's because people have hangups over anything sexual. And yet we're all sexual animals, with sexual needs, and camming allows us to provide an outlet for people to fulfill those needs. Then as you mention, you are providing a social outlet to people who might otherwise be isolated. Who knows, you might be the only gay person they know, or who they can interact with and talk freely with. A lot of the interaction I have with guys in my shows is not explicitly sexual - we talk about travel, the weather, hobbies, TV shows, all kinds of things. But then we can also talk about sexual things, without judgement.

It's been a month since your post, I'm curious what you might have decided!

Thanks for the advice. Thats what I notice also about my returning users are just lonely and what a friend to talk to. also to everyone else especially to

Always consider your own personal safety first. You probably already thought of that, but just a reminder.
Everyone in my close, trusted inner circle knows. But no one outside of that. Not their fucking business to be getting their jollies off to, while simultaneously judging.
That being said I'm lucky enough not to have anyone in my close personal circle who would reject me, or judge for such superficial stuff. Not everyone is. Some people have horrible, close minded families.
Anyone like that related to me by blood, doesn't count as being in my close personal circle. So they don't matter to me anyway, and may as well be a stranger or non-person as far as I'm concerned tbf.

Your personal safety matters most.

I love what you said. I been thinking of telling friends but I know I'll regret it for the point you made.
I actually told my mother and said what I do for money is personal because I know you will judge me for it.
I remember awhile ago telling my sister, saying something like I do something for money that I'm not proud to say. But I think its also they will judge.
But who the fuck knows my sis was very supportive when I came out to her of hooking up with a man.

 

[BlackWizard]

im happy person that i told my parents and they accept it. I can call my mom and share my frustration when was bad day or happiness when i earn good. Now i dont have laptop but when i had , i was able to work in my room in parents home. Im really happy for this and my parents giving me big support. Some friends also know . I only have problems to say that to my bfs but for now i dont have any so i dont have this problem past bfs finally also knew it and they wanted to stream with me I have a lot of luck with having open minded people around me

 

[Just_A_Guy]

Not a camguy, nor am I in the adult business. Haven't read all the replies and others views. Just an outsider opinion. I've always believed that other people's opinions do not pay your bills and, most of the times, people usually don't even know what they are actually talking about. They just like to blabber about what they know sh*t about. Also, they do not know anything about other people's life. As far as sex work, I've aways found that the same guy who disapproves, condemns, and somehow shames it, it's the same married and apparently respectable guy that has absolutely no problem hiring two escorts for a fun night while away on a business trip or spending fun moments with cammodels online. Source: Me, finding absolutely by chance a married acquantaince in a hotel I was staying in with 2 models who weren't his wife.

However, I don't think that you necessarily have to love what you do. You do it because it's just a job. And you do it because you earn money. As long as it is legal I don't think anyone should have a say. Rose is a rose. A job is a job, is a job. Loving what you do I think it's a huge plus, but it's not a given. You just do what you have to do to pay your bills and go on with your life. If you enjoy it, It's a bonus. My 2 cents.

Spoiler: Example

Example: I was my 30s and the company I was working for sent me to fix a business. Me and the team I was working with came up with a plan. The business owners had to fire about 300 people if they wanted to stay in business. My girlfriend at the time, talking about what she knew nothing about, told me I was an as*hole. I told her that I was just doing my job. Hadn't I done it, somebody else would have done exactly the same thing. Also I remember telling her that I took she would have no problem stop living where she was and driving my cars. For some reason she didn't say anything and stopped blabbering.

 

[QueenSaint246]

I’ve told both of my sisters that I’m a cam model and they were cool about it. Whenever I’d get into a serious relationship I would tell my SO what I do for work and honestly it’s been mixed opinions.

Regardless of what others may think, it’s your life to live!

 

[AudriTwo]

if you are having a hard time with a loved one finding out, please seek out pineapplesupport.org