talking about sex before sex

[Deleted member 57737]

has nothing to do with camming, but I post it here anyway because its a pressing matter and In the "sexy stuff" subforum I might not get answers because low traffic.

I'm in a new relationship and its awesome. Its the time where everything is possible, nothing is certain. We never talked about the "thing" we have. So its this time where you don't know if you're in heaven or in hell. Highly disruptive We also both like to take it slow, we talk a lot, but I think we both enjoy the uncertainty. However there have been some signals indicating that sex might happen maybe.

Now, I have this issue that I can't have anyone put their hands on my neck. Its a trauma from my birth where I had the umbilical cord around my neck. It just can't happen, otherwise panic. I even can't use scarves.
I know some people like different shades of SM and I respect that.

Now the situation is not right to just talk to her about my sexual likes and dislikes. It would disrupt the magical time we have now. Also maybe I misinterpreted the signals and she is not after sex now, so just talking to her about that could destroy something.

the good thing is that she seems to be very honest and seems to like honesty.

How would you do it? Would you wait until a situation arises where the neck problem is about to happen?
Would you start to talk about it before sex?

Generally I like to talk about sex with a partner, even during sex. It can only improve the experience. But I don't want to come around as someone who only thinks about sex.

Thanks for reading.

 

[MarieElise]

I would bring it up just in general. That happened to my second baby and for months she wouldn’t let anyone touch her neck, and she would get really upset if her sweater is brushed on it, or anything for that matter. I would bring it up in a general sense and be like; I have this thing I want to share with you. I feel kind of self-conscious about it, because it’s not the most common thing, but I feel like I should tell you since we’re getting close.

Because if I were her, I would want to know for physical affection too. That would be really important for me to know something like that about my partner, because I would not want to inadvertently do something that caused them pain or stress them out. Wrestling, fucking around, sex, all of it. I bet she’d really want to know about that, and appreciate you telling her.

Sorry to hear you had a traumatic birth. That’s very hard on the parents side too. My baby had to be rushed to the NICU. You can’t hold them first or do the cord cutting or anything, when that happens. My partner actually got PTSD from it too. Because they rush a C-section and it’s very intense. Happened to my grandpa too. It was tough but I was lucky enough not to have a trauma response, like they both did. Probably due to the amount of fentanyl I was on at that time.