STIs, stigma, and camming

[sexysally666]

I recently found out that I have herpes and I'm feeling pretty devastated.

I've had a pretty bad primary outbreak and I haven't been on cam in over a week, because I'm ashamed of how it looks and almost always use nudity in my shows. I know that this will clear up soon and will probably never give me any problems from a medical standpoint, and that the vast majority of people have a herpes diagnosis or are dormant carriers. Herpes should be regarded as what it is: normal, relatively benign, and something that anyone who has skin contact with others can contract. But it's not. It's seen as something that only disgusting whores have, and as someone who already has to deal with whore stigma, I've been worrying a lot about how people will perceive me from this point forward. I guess I wanted to bring these feelings here because I know it's a sex-positive community and could use some reassurance. For others who have/have had an STI and don't mind sharing, I would also be interested in hearing about how it's impacted your life and your experiences with sex work. Thank you.

 

[DJ_Pioneer]

Well there is really only two options, either you own the issue and talk about it or you don't acknowledge it and try to hide it. 70-80% of the population here in Sweden has HSV-1 and 30-40% has the genital kind HSV-2 so it isn't considered to be that big of a deal here, but we also have sex education in school so it does not have the same stigma. What you do does not have to define who you are, so if someone says something to put you down in chat or on Twitter ban or block them.

 

[AwesomeKate]

This is definitely an 8 Mile Moment. Anytime you have something embarrassing going on and you fear being made fun of by others, you have to confidently own whatever it is they are mentioning. Make fun of it yourself before they get a chance to and do not show weakness. I get made fun of on cam all the time for various body parts of mine or personality quirks. I sometimes pm the haters like, "Thank god your mom doesn't mind my hairy armpits and lets me fuck her in the ass anyway." They just leave. They don't know what to do. If someone mentions your herpes be like, "I actually have a special strain of herpes that can be transmitted digitally so I'm glad you're here with me tonight."

As far as people irl go, anyone mature and worthy of fucking will understand and simply take precautions to avoid transmission if they do not have it themselves. When I have been tested with partners in the past, neither of us even looked at the HSV results because *shrugs* no biggie.

Here's the scene.

 

[CoffeeKnight]

This is definitely an 8 Mile Moment. Anytime you have something embarrassing going on and you fear being made fun of by others, you have to confidently own whatever it is they are mentioning. Make fun of it yourself before they get a chance to and do not show weakness. I get made fun of on cam all the time for various body parts of mine or personality quirks. I sometimes pm the haters like, "Thank god your mom doesn't mind my hairy armpits and lets me fuck her in the ass anyway." They just leave. They don't know what to do. If someone mentions your herpes be like, "I actually have a special strain of herpes that can be transmitted digitally so I'm glad you're here with me tonight."

As far as people irl go, anyone mature and worthy of fucking will understand and simply take precautions to avoid transmission if they do not have it themselves. When I have been tested with partners in the past, neither of us even looked at the HSV results because *shrugs* no biggie.

Here's the scene.

Great answer.

 

[sexysally666]

This is definitely an 8 Mile Moment. Anytime you have something embarrassing going on and you fear being made fun of by others, you have to confidently own whatever it is they are mentioning. Make fun of it yourself before they get a chance to and do not show weakness. I get made fun of on cam all the time for various body parts of mine or personality quirks. I sometimes pm the haters like, "Thank god your mom doesn't mind my hairy armpits and lets me fuck her in the ass anyway." They just leave. They don't know what to do. If someone mentions your herpes be like, "I actually have a special strain of herpes that can be transmitted digitally so I'm glad you're here with me tonight."

As far as people irl go, anyone mature and worthy of fucking will understand and simply take precautions to avoid transmission if they do not have it themselves. When I have been tested with partners in the past, neither of us even looked at the HSV results because *shrugs* no biggie.

Here's the scene.

Haha thank you, you're a goddess and I really needed this I got back on cam today and this outbreak actually wasn't visible, but now I'm kinda hoping for some haters just so I can use that line.

 

[ChloeSouth]

I had chlamydia in high school, walking through the halls was miserable because everyone would clap at me. But when I took charge of it, the people stopped. (I would stick my tongue out and walk toward them, obviously with no desire to lick them but it shut them up). I no longer have it now but there isn't a single person in my life who doesn't know I had it once upon a time. Don't let anyone try and take control over your value. Especially when they don't understand the circumstances. It doesn't change you at all!

 

[AudriTwo]

Everyone has herpes. 2 out 3 people under the age of 50 have it. It's pretty common and majority of people of have it, don't know it.

If you don't feel comfortable showing any outbreaks, that is perfectly fine. You might want to start making a bunch of vids when you are good to go so you can start getting passive income. Also Niteflirt is a great alternative because it's phonesex. You don't even have to get out of bed.

 

[sexysally666]

Everyone has herpes. 2 out 3 people under the age of 50 have it. It's pretty common and majority of people of have it, don't know it.

If you don't feel comfortable showing any outbreaks, that is perfectly fine. You might want to start making a bunch of vids when you are good to go so you can start getting passive income. Also Niteflirt is a great alternative because it's phonesex. You don't even have to get out of bed.

Thanks a lot! Currently I've just been working on one cam site and making clips pretty infrequently. I'd definitely like to branch out more and phone sex sounds like a great option Unfortunately, Niteflirt doesn't support phone numbers in my country of residence (Hungary), but I'll start looking around for some alternatives.

 

[SirenCove]

Sexysally666, let me first say I'm glad that you didn't give up camming. I know how you feel because I my self have been there. Just over a month ago I had my first brake out and it felt like a completely life altering thing when really it isn't. I my self was ashamed of what I have when really, there is no reason to feel that way. I was scared, embarrassed about how my "kitty" looked and didn't cam or dance until a whole month later because I couldn't bring my self to do it.

It was actually with the help of my best friend that helped convinced me not to give up the only job that I truly enjoy. Just because we have herpes, it doesn't make us less worthy of anything or any different from anyone else. Sorry if I'm rambling but I just want you to know you're not alone in this.