Silly things we thought when we were children

[Kunra9]

I remember when I was a kid, I thought dogs were boys and cats were girls

 

[Fay_Galore]

I thought the world was really black and white when my grandparents were young. (but I think maybe this is a common one)

 

[LailaBaise]

I thought I was special. :?


:lol:

 

[VenPerv2]

I thought the ninja turtles lived in my sewer :?

 

[mynameisbob84]

Not only did I think that pre-Bob times were in black and white, but I used to think that everybody other than me still saw in black and white.

We had a colour TV in the living room, and a black and white TV in the kitchen. I remember one time, there was a black and white film showing on the colour TV, so I immediately ran to the kitchen to see if it was showing in colour on the black and white TV.

I used to think that when someone died, their house crumbled down.

I used to think that when I grew up, I'd look like Robert Redford because that was the only other Robert I knew of and just assumed everyone with the same name grew up looking the same.

I used to think that 4 came before 3.

I used to think that the word "damn" was both the coolest and most dangerous word in the world and once drew a picture of Rambo at school and asked everybody around me if they dared me to write "DAMN" in a speech bubble coming from Rambo's mouth. They did and I did. I then crapped my shorts (I also used to think I looked good in shorts) when I saw the teacher coming and quickly scrawled a P over the N so that Rambo was suddenly exclaiming the existence of DAMP. Not as cool, but much less dangerous.

I was a weird kid.

 

[mutantdonut]

You know when you're driving or a passenger in a car, and the sun or moon seems to be following you? Yeah, i thought it was following me all the time.

And there's the Santa Clause thing...

 

[PlayboyMegan]

I grew up in an all women home.
I was playing in the front yard when some random creeper came up to the bushes next to me and started peeing. I wasn't sure what my eyes were looking at since I had never seen or heard of male private parts before. I thought he was holding a baby bird in his hand that was squirting water from its mouth. So then, I wondered if all men had baby birds attached to their stomach.

 

[mynameisbob84]

And there's the Santa Clause thing...

 

[PlayboyMegan]

After Toy Story I legit believed toys were alive. I would spend all day trying to convince mine that they could talk to me and I wouldn't tell anyone. I even pinky promised!!!
Oh, and I use to believe I had magical powers. You know those sticker dispensers and gimbal machines? I could pick which one I wanted out of like 20 choices an EVERY time I got the one I wanted. Weird coincidence.

 

[EmilyConrad]

I thought that golf domes like this

were the moon.

I was obsessed with frogs when I was really little, like 2-3. When my mom was trying to get me to give up bottles she told me that Mr. Frog stopped by while I was napping and said that Mrs. Frog just had a bunch of little frog babies but they didn't have enough money for bottles. They asked if I'd be okay with donating mine to the babies. At first I was really sad but eventually I helped put all of my bottles into a plastic bag and put them on the front porch for Mr. Frog to come and collect. I never drank from a bottle again.. and neither did any frogs.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

Not really about me, but a funny semi-related story:
I lived with my aunt in Oregon for a couple of months as a teenager. Her daughter was about 5 years old. One day they were folding my laundry when her daughter picked up my thong an said, "mommy what's this?" As a strict Christian parent, she didn't want her daughter glorifying thongs. So she said, "Oh honey, Megan is too poor to be able to afford whole panties. She can only buy the little ones. You're very fortunate to have ones that cover your whole butt." :lol:

 

[KelliAutumn]

I thought people pee'd to wash the poop from their butt.

How embarrassing hahaha

 

[LaceyRoyce]

My brother had me convinced for a year that I came from another planet.

 

[xoxoHunter]

I thought that my mom was the Tooth Fairy for EVERY child in the world.

One night I had lost a tooth and it had been placed underneath my pillow. I looked out my window (sorta waiting to see if the fairy would come) and for whatever reason I thought I saw my mom fly past in a red dress that was covered in sparkles. OBVIOUSLY the tooth fairy! So one morning, I was eating breakfast and my mom and dad were both in the kitchen and I go,

"Mom, can I ask you something..? Are you the tooth fairy?"
My moms response:

"I am the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, santa claus, etc"

I was crushed, sad, confused, everything.

Then I quietly go, "...I thought you were the real tooth fairy for everyone...."


Edit to add another story!

When I was a 6th grader my friends dad made our entire group believe that there were hobo camps set up all along the tracks in our town (our town is pretty much made of railroads...)

 

[LailaBaise]

I love this thread!

I struggle with childhood memories, it's all a weird vague jumble so I'm enjoying living vicariously through all of your's!

 

[PlayboyMegan]

My brother had me convinced for a year that I came from another planet.

I told my sister that and drew antanas on pictures of her head with a marker for "proof." She cried, "I don't want to go back to the mothership!!" :lol:

 

[SaffronBurke]

I thought that every song on the radio was talking about sex. Then I got a little older, told myself that I was a pervert and that I needed to stop seeing sex in everything. Then I got a little more older and realized that pervert me was right about most of them.

 

[KyraFortune]

- The first time I went to the doctor (that I can remember obviously) I was confused why his name wasn't Dr. Pepper. I genuinely thought Dr. Pepper was an actual/the only doctor for everyone worldwide.

- Chocolate milk comes from brown cows. (Logic, DUH)

 

[Shaun__]

My childhood seems to have been lacking in whimsy, and innocence as I think back to it for some reason.

 

[LuckySmiles]

when I was little I thought the term "playing hooky" from work or school was the same as playing hockey.
So anytime someone called in sick or stayed home sick I had this image of them on the ice like.. I never knew they liked hockey so much. In my brain it was the same word... even though.. it isn't.

 

[JickyJuly]

I thought I had esp and could talk to my cat with my brain. We legit had conversations that I must have created both parts of. Hehehe. Must have been a lonely child...

My brother had me convinced for a year that I came from another planet.

My husband thought this too. He believed his interactions with humans were being studied by his home planet. I think his being adopted/the way he was told he was adopted confused him a bit as a kid.

 

[Kunra9]

My family moved to a new house when I was about 7 years old.

My bedroom in the new home had a weird stain high up on one of the walls.

The first night we slept in the house, I had a dream that Slimer from Ghostbusters had made the stain when he went through the wall in that spot. And I just KNEW it meant he would come back again. I also got it in my head that if the stain was cleaned, he wouldn't come back.

When my mom finally cleaned the stain, I cried for like a week.

 

[xoxoHunter]

My brother had me convinced for a year that I came from another planet.

I told my sister that and drew antanas on pictures of her head with a marker for "proof." She cried, "I don't want to go back to the mothership!!" :lol:

I played the "got your nose" game with my sister who's four years younger than I am. She would chase me around the house trying to get her nose back. One day, i felt like ending the game so I pretended to eat it. She cried forever and was devastated / horrified that I ate her nose, and that she was going to be noseless forever.

I also got her to believe that the "imaginary monsters" lived underneath the pull out couch we used to play on. Then, she had to use the bathroom.
Me: "Oh no! You can't go to the bathroom! They moved and live in the toilet now!" Oops... That may not have been very nice of my 6 year old self to do...

 

[Nordling]

"Nordling! Who are you talking to?" Mom yelled from the master bedroom, as I chatted with the dwarf that lived on the ceiling above my bed only at night.

"The little man with the funny hat and wearing galoshes, Mom."

"Well, shut up and go to sleep."

I had insomnia throughout my childhood.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

When my pet fish died my mom flushed it down the toilet and said, "He's going to Heaven now."
After that, I threw huge tantrums every time I had to use the bathroom. When my mom had to hold me on the toilet, I screamed, "No mom! I don't want to go to Heaven!!"
It's no wonder I don't give a shit about sinning now. I already publicly announced I didn't want anything to do with Heaven.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

You know when you're driving or a passenger in a car, and the sun or moon seems to be following you? Yeah, i thought it was following me all the time.

And there's the Santa Clause thing...

The Santa Claus thing really got me, when I was 4 and pretty much convinced Santa was a con job, my parents had my neighbor put on Santa Claus suit, and late Xmas eve magically appeared in our living room. I think he even had dust from the chimney on him. That kept me believing in Santa for a couple of years.

I was very late in understanding the sex thing (ok so maybe not a lot has changed). When I moved back to California from sheltered Indiana I was 10 and the kids teased me badly when I told them that 1st, 2nd, and 3rd base were all bases on a baseball field. I knew boys and girls did something to make babies, but had no idea about penises and vaginas.

 

[NicoleRiley]

A girl at daycare convinced me that kissing was "sex"

I told people that my mom and stepdad had sex in front of me a lot.......

 

[VallieBeuys]

Ok let's see here. Just off the top of my head:

I used to think that it was somehow unsafe to pee and poop at the same time... I don't know what I thought would happen, but I was convinced it would be bad. :lol:

I used to think there was still actually cocaine in Coke-a-Cola.

I didn't know that (male) ejaculate wasn't weird cloudy pee until I was uh.... Embarrassingly too old for that.

I had no idea what my kindergarten teacher meant by "a dab will do ya!" in reference to glue. I thought she was saying ahdabbledooya and it always reminded me of "Yabba Dabba Doo!" from the Flintstones.

A girl in first grade tried to convince me that if you had a birthday party on a day that wasn't your birthday you were another year older. Like birthday on Monday but party on Tuesday, that counted as two birthdays according to her, and therefor you were two years older instead of one. I thought she was an idiot. :roll:

There's gotta be more. Although I think a lot of mine were about not understanding what was going on with my parents fighting all the time, because I was too young and didn't understand how terrible my parents' marriage was. That's less cute and funny and more broken childhood :lol: So maybe those I will keep to myself.

 

[Rose]

I was certain that my dolls could get each other pregnant....

I thought everyone walked around thinking about humping everyone in sight (sort of half right.)

I thought that sex was just men peeing on whatever woman was closest to them, and that orgies were one guy peeing on multiple women.... Apparently this came about because I somehow accidentally found a collection of water sports at an extremely young and impressionable age. Sadly it's the earliest memory I can recall. The person who let me find that stuff should be whacked upside the head with a frying pan. :snooty: My mother should similarly be thumped for not clearing things up and letting my head continue on all screwy for another 10 years.

 

[Shutterbuck]

Man! When I was a kid...
I thought I was cool.



Those were the days.