Should you share your location with people in your chatroom?

[Tristyn]

I'm open about being Canadian, but I don't give out my location to the masses. Camming on a private-focused site, I don't feel like giving out my location would benefit me at all.

 

[I_Am_FireDawg]

I've known models that will give out state or city info and others that are uncomfortable giving a location. Whatever is most comfortable for you should be fine for everyone. just make sure if you're not comfortable with giving a location you say it politely yet forcefully enough to make it understood that you will not do it.
If someone gets all annoyed that they can't find out you're from Podunk, West Virginia, Intercourse, Pennsylvania, Cow Petting, South Dakota, or Blue Ball, Pennsylvania (2 of those exist, I won't say which, enjoy having it in your search history to find the answer) then you probably don't want them hanging around anyway.

 

[Honey Moon]

Wow I've never had someone be rude and ask for more info on my location -_- Usually I just say my country and which coast I live in.

 

[mutantdonut]

But a lot of people seem to get annoyed with me when I just say, "I'm from the United States." I usually get a "wow that narrows it down." or something close to that.

Just to flip the perspective on this...

From the the member's POV, it probably feels like you're flinging sarcasm or insulting their intelligence with such a broad answer, leading to their annoyance or getting overly huffy about it. The straightforward explanation of, "i don't give out my location for safety reasons" sounds more tactful. I would think/hope the reasonably-minded member thinks, "ok fair enough" and cease his inquiry.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

I already knew this in a subconscious sort of way, but started to notice it way more after watching this thread for a while. It's been a lot more clear how quickly guys (on SM at least) leave chat after they either they are told a region they aren't in (such as saying from the South...I often say this if the guy says he's elsewhere like Maine) or after saying a fake place/that I don't give out location...really sad. :/

 

[SaffronBurke]

I always thought it would only be other USA'ers who cared about state/region, but back when I still said my country instead of Pluto, I had a surprising number of UK guys ask me which state.... You'd think it would matter even less to them, with bare minimum the entire Atlantic between us, but no, they got cranky about me not giving that out, too. I really don't see why it matters at all, especially on Streamate, where I've had guys spend 5-20 minutes in private one time, enjoy themselves, and then I never see them again (my regulars are mostly subs). Is it really so hard to watch a girl masturbate if you don't know where she lives? Doesn't matter if I'm in Alaska or Antarctica, I'm still going to do the same show.

 

[Nordling]

Just to flip the perspective on this...

From the the member's POV, it probably feels like you're flinging sarcasm or insulting their intelligence with such a broad answer, leading to their annoyance or getting overly huffy about it. The straightforward explanation of, "i don't give out my location for safety reasons" sounds more tactful. I would think/hope the reasonably-minded member thinks, "ok fair enough" and cease his inquiry.

Ha ha @ the oxymoron "reasonably-minded member." Yes, they do exist, but they are generally people who don't ask personal questions like location. A reasonably-minded member knows why models should not give out location, and don't ask in the first place.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

I'm open about my location. I live in a large city though, if i was in a small town i would be more general. I would also reconsider if i had family here to protect etc, children etc.

The interesting thing is - about 'pressing for more info'.. when locals come in and i go 'i live in new orleans' they immediately follow this up with 'what neighborhood". I will say that I dont share this. (DUH) and they will get defensive, grumpy etc. not always but its happened "Im not trying to find your home address i just wanted to know what part of the city you live in"... like .. ??? I'm obviously centrally located by my pictures.. tehy're all showing typical new orleans city streets/houses. The suburbs look very very different. That's BY FAR specific enough thank you.

I made my decision after lots of thought when i first moved here. This city is so much a part of me, i think it adds to the image of me as a 'whole' person and i was excited to share it with them! New orleans is so pretty!

At the same time though, I get reallly icked out when i get guys adding my snapchat from my local area and going "i grew up on that street" etc. I lay out VERY VERY clear specific rules for locals and they dont get but one chance to follow them.

i'm not someone weirded out if a member says hi in public in a friendly way. I dont like not knowing who is behind me in the coffee line at starbucks - id rather they just said hello rather than cryptic tweets later (happened to me)

I should also mention I now go by lacey everywhere except like..legal situations/healthcare etc where i need to have my real info out. And my family at home in nz.

I was also a bit horrified when i walked into a store in the quater once to have a young lady behind the counter yell "MISS_LOLLIPOP I KNEW IT WAS YOU" (it was a model who recognized me..)

Also can i just bitch about SQUARE for a minute. Square is everywhere here - coffee lines etc. I swipe my card and they flip the booth around and BAM its got my real first name. The barrista will usually say "THank you __NAME" for good measure. Having had multiple situations where members or models were behind me in line for coffee - both people I knew were there and people I DID NOT KNOW were watchiing this wigs me out everytime. I've started to pay in cash now.

 

[SoTxBob]

I've cautioned a handful of girls in the past that were very free with their info and been guffawed at, or worse. After some time, and some random intrusive events, they all seem to find out its a hell of a lot harder to gain some privacy back and frequently say if they'd known they'd have not been so free with the info in the first place.....
Life goes on....

 

[jujoji]

Much to think about.

I guess one way to put it is, unless you are willing to have this member show up to your house and for you to be willing to serve tea to him/her/them, don't tell them any more or your location than maybe a state or vague region.

Also given, as great as it may be to tell people about your vacation, sometimes you shouldn't let your members know details of where you're going in the immediate future, or specific details of your hotel. For example I had a model-friend very enthusiastically tweet to all her followers that she was at a hotel near a theme park with a very specific (and until very soon in the near future, unique) theme.

I have another (much newer) model-friend who is driving me up the wall with how open she is about where she lives: she's mentioned city, favorite restaurant being very close to her apartment, and her favorite store being across the street, and it turning out that store is at only one mall in the entire city she lives in. And every time I'm like, "please stop doing that, I really don't want some psycho stalking and maybe hurting you".


Mentioning, by name specifically, where you've been and had a great time in your city is a start for someone to find you. If you've had a great time there, you're likely to go back

It doesn't get mentioned much as it's less likely to happen and probably far less of a threat due to power dynamics involved; but members need to be careful divulging details in chat. To know that one guy drops so much money and owns a very specific store type in this region, means he's putting himself at risk of violence out of potential profit or jealousy.

And of course even far rarer, I've never heard of it happening IRL, is the prospect of a model stalking a member.

Only a small handful of models know where I live; far fewer know my real name; so far four have seen my face on cam or pictures; and only one has my home address (and I was very hesitant about that for a very long time).

I've met a total of three cam-models (by accident) in real life, and all three were while working for a Horror convention in town, thought they looked familiar somehow but went back to work and only later found out online who their online personas were.

 

[mutantdonut]

Ha ha @ the oxymoron "reasonably-minded member." Yes, they do exist, but they are generally people who don't ask personal questions like location. A reasonably-minded member knows why models should not give out location, and don't ask in the first place.

Generally speaking, i don't think there's anything wrong with asking where X model is from if it's meant as a simple get-to-know-her question. If she chooses not to disclose location, then move on. It's when said member become pushy/pissy, or become too invasive, is where the problem lies.

I think there will always be reasonable members who ask because a) they don't know any better of the safety issues b) since some models are open with their location, members will ask every new model they come across to see which are also open about it. If they can accept not getting an answer/understand why she doesn't disclose, i think that's admirable enough.

 

[Nordling]

Generally speaking, i don't think there's anything wrong with asking where X model is from if it's meant as a simple get-to-know-her question. If she chooses not to disclose location, then move on. It's when said member become pushy/pissy, or become too invasive, is where the problem lies.

I think there will always be reasonable members who ask because a) they don't know any better of the safety issues b) since some models are open with their location, members will ask every new model they come across to see which are also open about it. If they can accept not getting an answer/understand why she doesn't disclose, i think that's admirable enough.

Agree, nothing wrong with asking, but when you get rebuffed, don't act surprised.

 

[ramblin]

I was at a strip club the other day. First question from one of the dancers was my name, and the second was where I'm from. It's such a standard getting-to-know you line that rolls off the tongue. Even knowing better I had to stop myself halfway through asking the same of her. Rebuffing must be annoying for the performer, but I agree that every new member's entitled to make the mistake of asking once before they understand why that's not a welcome question.

 

[sixinchheels]

I've only been camming a few days, but just about everyone who has come into my room has wanted to know where I'm from. I give them the general region and leave it at that and no one's bothered me to get more specific yet.