Saying if single or not?

[Horny_ali]

so i tell them im married not quite truth or lie we have been together 4 years live like a married couple hes just forgot the ring

 

[GraysonDrake]

I'm very blunt (yet friendly) about being unavailable, but I don't hide behind my relationship to do it. My boundaries are what they are and I need no excuses for them. I really don't like reinforcing toxic ideas that people own each other in relationships and that we need this ownership as an excuse in order to assert personal boundaries. Some people think we have no other options, but that's not even a little bit true. I just say "Nah dude, I'm a fantasy. Online only." and they get it. I think because I have this attitude I tend to attract viewers who are generally better at parasocial boundaries than the average bear. Generally being the operative word lol.

I am a bit cagey about it sometimes but for me it's more about navigating how I feel about my own privacy and less about if I gain or lose followers, I don't really want the types who want me to maintain the illusion of attainability, partly because it makes me uncomfortable and partly because I don't want stalkers. Sometimes I talk about my relationship if someone asks about it respectfully or if it comes up naturally in conversation, or if I'm posting content with them in it.

I also take my partner's feelings into consideration and we have lots of conversations about how they want to be represented or talked about, which is a lot more important to me than what randos on the internet think.

 

[sex_addicted_artist]

Let them come out of the woodwork so I can remove them from my room, because I'm not on adult sites to find a date or hookup.

I honestly never have had a good interaction with someone asking me about my relationship status.. I just wish these types of people would stay away from the adult industry.

This is something that is so fucking exhausting…. Instead of enjoying the time they have with you while you are on cam, they make it weird acting like you are gonna make time to meet up them when you barely even have time to hang out with your friends and family. Even if they are act like it’s not for sex, it is.

There are in-person sex workers who do in-person sex work. Then there are cam workers who are broadcasting from our homes because we prefer this kind of sex work: on cam, alone in our own space.

and……um. To the viewers: You’re welcome…. Y’all come into our homes. And you still demand more? You demand we discuss our future? Gtfo….

Or
you can come into our homes, be friendly and charming and we all can have fun, right here in the moment we are in. Doesn’t that sound absolutely orgasmic?

 

[IsabelaHarlow]

Just like GraysonDrake said,

I don't hide behind my relationship to do it. My boundaries are what they are and I need no excuses for them.

I have my boundaries and I do this kind of work because I don't want to meet someone from the internet in real life. If I wanted to do that, I would be doing sex work outside of cam too, but I don't, because I enjoy my sex life to be private and with whoever I want because I like the guy.

 

[blayze_noir]

Wow... I never considered that users were asking because they wanted to hook up or something. I thought it was just curious or adding/subtracting to their cam experience. "Oh... you have a boyfriend and you are with me? That turns me on!" Or, "Oh... you have a boyfriend? That's not my thing. Good luck!" Maybe it will help them get off or not. Like, maybe it feeds the daddy thing.

I totally understand that there's users that want to hook up in IRL, I just never really connected the two. I figured that users like that wouldn't care about relationship status.

 

[CheeseMoon]

this right here. i betchu most members wouldn't be comfortable if we models repeatedly asked questions about their relationship status and choices.

I've been asked that, long into an ongoing conversation by a couple of models, but by that point in the convo it was part of the natural small talk GTKY thing anyway. I never gave it much thought, but I would probably think different about it if models repeatedly asked me right after "How are you today?" and "What's your name bb?".

But I see users asking models about relationship status all the time in public chat, which I always find strange. It just shows a lack of imagination, ruining their own story with facts But it's a guy thing I guess; if you see something nice you have to own it, destroy it or fuck it.

 

[NotYou]

I've been asked that, long into an ongoing conversation by a couple of models, but by that point in the convo it was part of the natural small talk GTKY thing anyway. I never gave it much thought, but I would probably think different about it if models repeatedly asked me right after "How are you today?" and "What's your name bb?".

But I see users asking models about relationship status all the time in public chat, which I always find strange. It just shows a lack of imagination, ruining their own story with facts But it's a guy thing I guess; if you see something nice you have to own it, destroy it or fuck it.

I think some models do that so they can try to get a better understanding of how to "play you", they would act differently for a single horny guy compared to a married guy having issues or at least lack of sex etc
Or maybe it's not that but it's what I always assume it to be.

Some models do seem genuinely interested, but that's like as you say, when you're more in a proper GTKY conversation, not just a quick off the bat "how are you bb. are you married bb" kind of thing.

 

[CheeseMoon]

I think some models do that so they can try to get a better understanding of how to "play you" [...]

Could very well be, but I can't remember being asked the question in a "business" kind of way. I think models know better than to escalate the situation and pop the relationship question off the bat, since the same could easily be asked in return. But anyway, I just assume models have a BF lurking somewhere and leave it at that. Whatever they are up to off cam does not change anything for me as long as they occasionally oil their tits in exchange for tokens and otherwise behave (at least somewhat) professional.

I like cam models in general and wouldn't want to ruin a perfectly good thing with an inane question.

 

[Ozzie_]

Could very well be, but I can't remember being asked the question in a "business" kind of way. I think models know better than to escalate the situation and pop the relationship question off the bat, since the same could easily be asked in return. But anyway, I just assume models have a BF lurking somewhere and leave it at that. Whatever they are up to off cam does not change anything for me as long as they occasionally oil their tits in exchange for tokens and otherwise behave (at least somewhat) professional.

I like cam models in general and wouldn't want to ruin a perfectly good thing with an inane question.

In the past I have had a lot of models ask pretty much exactly what a lot of guys do. "How are you" "Where are you from" "Are you single"

ETA "What's your name?" and also "How old are you?"

So.. pretty much everything we *users* are NOT supposed to ask (apart from "how are you?" of course! )

 

[MarieElise]

In the past I have had a lot of models ask pretty much exactly what a lot of guys do. "How are you" "Where are you from" "Are you single"

ETA "What's your name?" and also "How old are you?"

So.. pretty much everything we *users* are NOT supposed to ask (apart from "how are you?" of course! )

Best to avoid those models then. We aren't all the same person. It sucks to get lumped in with morons or people who are doing love cons. When you're just having fun and trying to support your family, while being honest, and providing a needed service.

Just like it must suck for you guys who have common sense to get lumped in with Dipshits, scam artists, concerning perverts, people off their fucking nuts, and abusers.

Life would be easier if we could all just stereotype people and lump them in broad categories, but that's not how life or people really work. That would be a grossly ignorant and naive way to navigate the world and social relationships. Its disappointing.

 

[rockin_rod]

I think all of the suggestions so far are very relevant - there are so many reasons why people ask about relationship status.
No doubt that some just like to extend the fantasy of their interactions, and play out the idea 'what if this incredible girl/guy was my SO?'
[Slight aside - nearly all of the cheesy compliments and offers to meet up seem to come from non-tipping users, perhaps because they feel they cannot get a model's attention any other way?]
Some seem to have an arrogance (real or manufactured) and maybe see a competitive challenge there - 'got to win the prize' kinda thing.
Some think that a cam girl/guy must be doing that work because they aren't getting satisfied IRL, so do the 'I can give you what you're missing!'

Can't speak knowledgeably from a model's point of view, but I've been asked in various ways (from subtle, to blunt) about my own status.
While that can be misunderstood, I'd expect that most of the time (as suggested in previous replies above) it's about figuring out your customers.
A model once told me she liked having older regs in her room, generally because they are married or divorced, not looking to meet up, and not into playing games - hang out, chat readily, spend, come-cum-go.
She said that the younger guys were harder to handle, a mixture of bravado and social awkwardness, and often unpredictable.
Maybe these were just her experiences, or perhaps there is a broad pattern there, IDK.

Me, I enjoy seeing model pages where they just write in their Bio 'relationship status - don't ask'. And I wish everyone would just respect that and stop asking.
But as long as people seek (and offer) the GFE, the lines will always blur.

 

[ones66]

Single

 

[Ozzie_]

Best to avoid those models then. We aren't all the same person. It sucks to get lumped in with morons or people who are doing love cons. When you're just having fun and trying to support your family, while being honest, and providing a needed service.

Just like it must suck for you guys who have common sense to get lumped in with Dipshits, scam artists, concerning perverts, people off their fucking nuts, and abusers.

Life would be easier if we could all just stereotype people and lump them in broad categories, but that's not how life or people really work. That would be a grossly ignorant and naive way to navigate the world and social relationships. Its disappointing.

Oh of course. We are all different. (thank - insert deity of choice here!) The models who asked those things outright were rarely ones that I revisited.

 

[mika_kedi]

Single

So this dude only read the thread name and thought this is the thread in which for some reason we are saying if we're single or not?

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

In the past I have had a lot of models ask pretty much exactly what a lot of guys do. "How are you" "Where are you from" "Are you single"

ETA "What's your name?" and also "How old are you?"

So.. pretty much everything we *users* are NOT supposed to ask (apart from "how are you?" of course! )

i betchu most members wouldn't be comfortable if we models repeatedly asked questions about their relationship status and choices.

Yeah I try to avoid asking anything I wouldn't open up about, to keep the conversation playing field even in that way. It's the same as I interact with people in normal, non-work conversation. I don't like to pry at things I am not willing to reciprocate.

 

[andrecampos87]

when they ask me if i'm in a relationship i always tell the truth that sadly i'm forever alone , but when they ask me my sexual orientation and what i like, i already have to play with the person in question for purely financial reasons, of course, but not forgetting that we are just a fantasy for them

 

[sex_addicted_artist]

Actually forgot to mention one thing- I sometimes tell people they can meet me at the Alamo. And I’m serious- I think everyone should visit the Alamo and experience the oasis it really is. Somehow lots of people expect the Alamo to be in a dust field. Anyway- if a fan wants to meet me at the Alamo I will do it, we can tour the Alamo grounds, and, that’s it.

I’ll meet you at the Alamo! Just like I have with everyone I have ever hostedfrom outside of TX- I will facilitate appreciation of Texas History. For anyone. .

Strangely no one on CB has taken me up on the offer. Hmmm…

 

[Deleted member 45270]

@sex_addicted_artist I'm not sure if this would be seen as a joke or not but it's better not to risk it, especially since you're saying you would do it here, I'm not sure how you're wording it during streaming. CB is a banhammer happy site as it is, I wouldn't ever say I'd meet someone there, even jokingly.

 

[sex_addicted_artist]

@sex_addicted_artist I'm not sure if this would be seen as a joke or not but it's better not to risk it, especially since you're saying you would do it here, I'm not sure how you're wording it during streaming. CB is a banhammer happy site as it is, I wouldn't ever say I'd meet someone there, even jokingly.

You are likely right and I should stop suggesting meeting at all… but for real. #meetmeatthealamo

 

[AudriTwo]

You are likely right and I should stop suggesting meeting at all… but for real. #meetmeatthealamo

only if we get to see the basement!

 

[Gaia_Mommy]

A model once told me she liked having older regs in her room, generally because they are married or divorced, not looking to meet up, and not into playing games - hang out, chat readily, spend, come-cum-go.
She said that the younger guys were harder to handle, a mixture of bravado and social awkwardness, and often unpredictable.
Maybe these were just her experiences, or perhaps there is a broad pattern there, IDK.

This is actually really true. It's always the younger guys that come around being all weird. Some weirdo even unironically asked me to marry him. I really prefer working with men who don't have the time to just sit around and chat all day taking dick pics and drooling, lmao.


As for me, I was asked this all the time when I cammed. It was annoying AF. I tend to just do content nowadays- and I always tell people straight up if they ask that I am single and unavailable- though I really don't get that as much anymore. I have, however, gotten guys who subscribe to me and then delete their accounts after realizing I'm not here to play-pretend and be their GF without buying GFE. Losers, lol.
I think if I were in a relationship I would be honest about it as it could potentially lead to me posting content with that person. And if that's the case- you should maybe just be honest about it if they're seeing the same person featured in your videos, lol. But I would just say "Yeah, that's my partner" and leave it at that.

I definitely think if anyone asks, just be straight up honest with them and end the conversation about it there. Don't indulge when people start getting weird. If Single, Tell them you're unavailable, and that it doesn't matter that much to you, then redirect the convo to a sale or whatever. If taken, Yep that's my Husband/Girlfriend and I'm completely happy with them. That's all you really have to say. If they get weird, just redirect the conversation to something else. Usually they'll let it go, but if they keep being weird about it- that's a big red flag and you probably don't want them as a fan as they might get weird and obsessive. Stalkers are real.

As for losing followers- I think in the cam-world people want you to be single and can get weird if you're not. It's just a thing I guess... Especially if people are spending big money on you- I guess they want to feel like the money that's going to you increases their chances of winning your affection/love. Having a partner would ruin that fantasy... But at the same time- It's really not healthy lol. And it really needs to stop... Not only are they being fucking weird to the model, but they're also throwing themselves into mental spirals over these girls.
It's tough because you can really milk these guys but keeping them at Bay is annoying AF to deal with.

There's tons of successful girls that are just straight up about it though, and that's how it should be. In the end though, no matter what anyone else thinks- Always do what you're comfortable with. If lying is comfortable, lie. If you're comfortable telling the truth, do it. Just don't take any weird shit from these guys.