Saying if single or not?

[Saffronmodel]

Hi
What do you all do on cam and for your only fans are any of you in a relationship and tell the truth to fans if so do you find it loses followers and the potential to get more viewers and subscribers to OF if you say you are in a relationship?
Or do you lie and say your single to keep them happy lol!

 

[AudriTwo]

i tell them that im married. but if i have decided that if i ever were to get divorced, no one will know, because i will keep saying im married.

because i know this will be the reaction if i mention i split with my husband:


my whole hustle is centered around being unobtainable, and i dont want to change it for my sanity.

 

[RosalinBlu]

I'm relatively honest but it's because if theres a possibility of b/g content (since I typically do soft/vanilla g/g content) I want to know who's interested enough that me and my male partner might consider providing for a value we confirm together that hasn't happened yet for me personally but this kind of thing seems to vary person to person. Some like @AudriTwo mentioned like that fantasy, I on the otherhand keep getting "You're boyfriend is soooo lucky." And that comment is something I find annoying lol

 

[blayze_noir]

I'm honest and say I have a gf. I mostly get bisexual males in my room and this turns them on. Sometimes the talk turns to them imagining situations with the 3 of us. For many of the gay men that come in my room they see it as a way to convince me to switch teams.

 

[AudriTwo]

For many of the gay men that come in my room they see it as a way to convince me to switch teams.

biphobia is so uncool. im sorry you endure this.

 

[JessaBella]

I am honest... right now I am in a relationship. but no matter what I say I always get asked to meet up (to fuck). My answer is always no. this isn't a dating/hook up site.

 

[Deleted member 45270]

i tell them that im married

Lately I've been thinking of doing the same, but I can imagine that even with saying "married," you'll get questions about your significant other (fictional or not). I shouldn't care about what they think, but since I've said I'm single for so long, I've not been exposed/desensitised to the "does he let you do this? Is he ok with it? How big is he?" questions enough for it not to get under my skin.

I even went back and forth on whether or not to make a throwaway account on a rat subreddit to ask a question about allergies, since my roommate (who really is just a roommate) has allergies to some animals and I wasn't sure if that made him more likely to have a rat allergy. I wondered if I'd get a flood of questions from people saying "roommate? Yeah, suuuure he is!" from others following that account. I ended up posting it because hell, if it really bothers those people, good. Let them come out of the woodwork so I can remove them from my room, because I'm not on adult sites to find a date or hookup.

I honestly never have had a good interaction with someone asking me about my relationship status.. I just wish these types of people would stay away from the adult industry.


I think you should do however you feel, OP. People asking about your bf might suck if you're really single, keep that in mind Just remember that nobody is entitled to know about your personal life, no matter how much money or time they have spent in your room.

 

[Saffronmodel]

Ok thanks for the replies I know some creators who say they have a bf and seem to still get followers and OF subs but I know lots who say they lie and say they are single as they said they would lose fans otherwise.
Lots of cam people and creators show lots of their lives I would like to do that as getting married this year etc but its hard to know whether to share stuff or keep the pretence that I'm single. I don't want to lose fans as I haven't many. Also any followers when I'm on cam. But I can't be single forever surely lol!

 

[mika_kedi]

I made it a rule to not say anything about my love life to my audience, I just say it's irrelevant to my job and change the subject if someone asks.

It's something intimate I want to keep to myself. Even in my personal life I was never the kind of person who would post about my relationships online or talk about them much to anyone I wasn't close with (absolutely no shade to anyone who feels more comfortable sharing these parts of their lives more openly). Also, let's say I was in a longterm monogamous relationship and talked about it and we broke up. The situation would suck in itself and having a bunch of people mentioning the ex to me, and me having to say it ended over and over would not make it easier. Or let's say I was in a poly relationship - I really couldn't be bothered with answering all the inevitable questions about it.

I honestly never have had a good interaction with someone asking me about my relationship status.. I just wish these types of people would stay away from the adult industry.

And finally this above. I'm sure whatever I'd say they would find a way to make me regret my answer.

Plus when they ask it's always "Do you have a boyfriend?" and it's my pet peeve when people assume everyone (and especially me) is straight. It annoys me too much to be answered in any other way than:

 

[Deleted member 45270]

I don't want to lose fans as I haven't many.

I know it's easier said than done, but don't be scared to lose subscribers - the kind of person who would be upset and leave is probably someone who was looking to date you.. aka, attached to an unhealthy extent, and not worth the stress that brings with expecting his money or time to amount to anything more than entertainment. Money =/= happiness or comfort.
Don't let money dictate everything. I've personally said I'm single when I've not been because I just didn't want to bring my then-boyfriends up while I'm working. feels awkward for me.

Also keep in mind that you're on a public forum. If a subscriber of yours read this thread, and saw your avatar, he'd probably figure it out. Not saying that to worry you, just keep it in mind.

 

[yummybrownfox]

That's one of the questions an unruly male passenger on the bus (who was also harassing me, and wouldn't leave me alone) was asking me two weeks ago.

On cam when asked "Are you single?," I smile and say "Yup!" When asked "You got a man?" or "You married?," I smile and say "Nope!" Lol. When men ask me dumb-ass questions like "Why are you single?," I ask them "What kind of question is that? And why do y'all act like being single is a bad thing?" As for the whole "They're just making conversation" thing...well, they need to learn to ask better conversation questions then. Lol. The way some people try to make conversation and flirt (Even try to guilt you into giving up your phone number...wtf?) is just cringey to me. Yeah, let's badger the girl with personal questions and annoy the fuck out of her...that will win her over and make the panties drop.

Also, when they're asking a bunch of questions about one of your videos for sale. Who gives a shit whether or not the guy in the video is a boyfriend...ex-boyfriend...fuck buddy...or husband? Is your cock suddenly gonna go limp or something if I say it's the boyfriend?

If my single status were to change, I'd probably be truthful about it only because it'd feel weird for me to maintain a lie like that. If I was in a relationship...or married, it'd probably be happily. Even though I 100% understand why it probably is smarter for models to just say they're single. I'm sure all of the "Your husband lets you do this?!" questions would get on my damn nerves, and guys' stupid remarks comparing themselves to him, questioning his manhood, etc.

 

[Finchomatic]

@Amorina

Just tell your fans that the very thought of a relationship makes you want to vomit and you never want to hear of it again.
If your followers are real fans and true followers, they will not care what your status is and will never ask. All the nosey ones can just blow away in the wind.

 

[Dannyhomebody]

That's one of the questions an unruly male passenger on the bus (who was also harassing me, and wouldn't leave me alone) was asking me two weeks ago.

On cam when asked "Are you single?," I smile and say "Yup!" When asked "You got a man?" or "You married?," I smile and say "Nope!" Lol. When men ask me dumb-ass questions like "Why are you single?," I ask them "What kind of question is that? And why do y'all act like being single is a bad thing?" As for the whole "They're just making conversation" thing...well, they need to learn to ask better conversation questions then. Lol. The way some people try to make conversation and flirt (Even try to guilt you into giving up your phone number...wtf?) is just cringey to me. Yeah, let's badger the girl with personal questions and annoy the fuck out of her...that will win her over and make the panties drop.

Also, when they're asking a bunch of questions about one of your videos for sale. Who gives a shit whether or not the guy in the video is a boyfriend...ex-boyfriend...fuck buddy...or husband? Is your cock suddenly gonna go limp or something if I say it's the boyfriend?

If my single status were to change, I'd probably be truthful about it only because it'd feel weird for me to maintain a lie like that. If I was in a relationship...or married, it'd probably be happily. Even though I 100% understand why it probably is smarter for models to just say they're single. I'm sure all of the "Your husband lets you do this?!" questions would get on my damn nerves, and guys' stupid remarks comparing themselves to him, questioning his manhood, etc.

Thanks for posting this yummybrownfox. I agree with you. Are you single is a dumbass question, yes. Not everybody wants and/or needs to be in a relationship. For those who are, I'm glad you're in a loving/happy relationship, monogamous or polyamorous. Also, keep this in mind, some people are scared to be alone, so they like to demonize single people like you and/or me because we're, say the magic word, single. Independent is something either they don't understand, and/or because they are too stupid or unable to accept/understand, or to be more polite, too ignorant to understand.

People like you and me understand we want a respectable relationship. Drama will happen whether with friends and/or the fam, whether it's regarding our doing webcam work for a living and/or otherwise, it is what it is, we accept that. But as the saying goes, love conquers all. I hope you and/or anybody else on the ACF or not on the ACF is able to find love with somebody, no matter who you are and/or who you are with, now and/or moving forward, whether you want children and/or don't. But be with somebody you can grow with, who understands you are not perfect, because nobody is, but who loves you for you, simple as that, and accepts you for you. Just throwing my two cents out there for what it's worth, because I've seen many friends and acquaintances get burned by people they thought were, you know, the right one, and were unfortunately, wrong.

Last, but certainly not least, if you get a bad vibe/s, listen to it. Avoid physical/psychological/emotional abuse, all of the above, if you get a bad vibe. In the end, it's your call. Fuck the abusers, they'll never understand this, and never will. In case you missed my thread in the past, watch out for guys who suffer from a Madonna/Whore Complex. Any sex worker can use this to their advantage. If you see yourself and/or anybody else in this situation outside of sex work, run for the hills, and avoid this insecure d-bag ASAP. Hope this thread wasn't too long.

 

[yummybrownfox]

 

[rockin_rod]

the kind of person who would be upset and leave is probably someone who was looking to date you.. aka, attached to an unhealthy extent, and not worth the stress that brings with expecting his money or time to amount to anything more than entertainment.

^ This.

 

[diabellaqueen]

Tho I have a bf, I am lying about him on my streams. For bf, it's not a big deal, and he knows it's my work and my contribution to our future(he proposed to me not so long ago).
Sometimes it makes me feel like a complete slut, but I really want to make my followers, especially in privates, feel like they are the ONLY men I have, and they take a special place in my life. Well, it is true, that they take a special place in my heart, all of them. But I don't want to ruin their picture of me. And at this point, I am afraid to break their hearts
I got a plan to leave the webcam community in the future, but thinking about what I will have to tell my fans true frightens me the most.

I know I will be catching flying rocks targeted at me, but it is my confession. I know I made a mistake when lied in the first place

 

[WickedTouch]

No rocks to throw here. A performers relationship status is up to them to share or not share with their fanbase. It has no relevance as to how we (rational) members will perceive them. None whatsoever. It has no bearing on you as a performer if you are single, or have a wfe/husband/gf/bf or are in a polyamorous relationship with 7 individuals of diminished stature and living a happy lifestyle in a cabin in the woods. A performers life off cam is theirs and theirs alone. In the fantasy world of camland they can be anything we wish them to be, but only as a fantasy... and that's where it is designed to stay.

For the 4,217th time.... cam sites are not dating sites!

 

[Dannyhomebody]

Oh well. I guess this was too long. Hope all is well. I hope I didn't bore you and/or anybody else on the ACF to death. If I did, it was unintentional.

 

[Deleted member 57737]

I think it depends on the picture you want to paint of yourself. Some models seem to play with the uncertainty and cloud themselves in misery. If that's their way of making money why not?

A thing I have noticed is that many models in this forum call it "lying" when they are not disclosing details of their real life. Even when on cam you say you are single while in reality you are not is not "lying" IMO. Because you talk about a fantasy and that fantasy is whatever the model wants it to be. I guess this job is complicated enough in terms of communication. If, on top of that, you call yourself a liar you might burden yourself with problematic baggage. Even if its only subconscious.

I personally couldn't care less about relationship status of a model I like and I find it disturbing when a member asks about that in the chat. It kills the mood because you know there is someone out there thinking about possession.

 

[AudriTwo]

"They're just making conversation" thing...well, they need to learn to ask better conversation questions then. Lol.

this right here. i betchu most members wouldn't be comfortable if we models repeatedly asked questions about their relationship status and choices.

last week a member asked me where i was located, told him none of his business because it isn't. he apologized and gave me the excuse he was just making conversation. so i asked him where he was located since he was interested in mine, he told me that was private...

he was lucky he was already in exclusive and wasn't in a bad mood. we still had fun after i pointed out the hypocrisy but most definitely learned a great lesson on making conversation. if its not a question you may not be comfortable answering yourself, don't ask the same of a stranger.

 

[MarlieJane]

I keep it vague bc I like to keep my personal life private. When someone asks if I have a bf I say "I have a few" with a wink lol

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

I just say whatever smartass thing I think of at the time. Whatever the response, they're gonna take it the same direction, so I may as well have fun and a laugh along the way.

 

[MarieElise]

I used to be really upfront and honest about my BF/ Father of my kids/long-term life partner. But then quite a few started asking me really personal questions about him, which I don't like because I'm protective. So now I'm going to be a little more evasive, just to purely avoid awkward conversations w strangers.

Also sometimes I think they must want his dick... (lol, but I could just be projecting). Otherwise why would they be asking so many personal and invasive questions? They must have a boner for him
I don't blame them really, but yeah... he's taken

 

[Dannyhomebody]

I think it depends on the picture you want to paint of yourself. Some models seem to play with the uncertainty and cloud themselves in misery. If that's their way of making money why not?

A thing I have noticed is that many models in this forum call it "lying" when they are not disclosing details of their real life. Even when on cam you say you are single while in reality you are not is not "lying" IMO. Because you talk about a fantasy and that fantasy is whatever the model wants it to be. I guess this job is complicated enough in terms of communication. If, on top of that, you call yourself a liar you might burden yourself with problematic baggage. Even if its only subconscious.

I personally couldn't care less about relationship status of a model I like and I find it disturbing when a member asks about that in the chat. It kills the mood because you know there is someone out there thinking about possession.

On reel webcam life, fantasy. Outside of webcam/real life, reality. I'm asked this question every damn day whether I'm on the webcam sites, and/or doing just Skype shows. I'm single for now, so I don't feel uncomfortable by just answering this question with a simple yes. If I was or am ever in a relationship in the future, I would still say I'm single because I'm working, simple as that.

 

[Sashacurves]

The only thing more annoying than the "are you single" question is their follow up response when I say yes. Pisses me off to no end when they almost pityingly say something like "how do you not have a boyfriend, you're so hot??" as if the issue is that I can't find a man. Or that I'm after a MAN at all.

I'm a very blunt honest person so if I was in a relationship, I'd say it. I'm quite open about my sex life with them (without giving out too many specifics or making it too personal) and I do think that is an appeal in a way that talking about a relationship wouldn't be. They like to hear about the insatiable, horny cam girl getting up to naughtiness so I play into that.

On the flip side, when it comes to dating I'm an absolute closed book and never tell guys I'm a cam model. I'm more open with my members than my dates . So far since I've been doing this it hasn't had to come up, but I do dread finding someone I like and having them judge/leave me because of this job!

 

[NotYou]

From a member perspective, I have seen it always end badly if a model says she has a partner, especially with the tippers/big[regular] tippers.
I understand the whole fantasy side of it and wanting her to be single, but I think so long as the partner isn't on cam with her then it's very simple to still have this fantasy. I am not a fan of couples, I don't care if they are partners or just random people, but I do not plenty of models who keep the secret of having a real-life partner and for me, despite really not liking couples shows, I couldn't give a rats ass if she has a partner or not. It makes no difference and I don't see why some guys get so worked up and throw tantrums if they find out.


In a quite recent instance, a model got pregnant, so she kind of had no choice but to say something. She had always been honest and told me she has a boyfriend (long term), but 2 of her regulars who were infatuated with her, had some kind of ruckus (not sure what exactly was said etc) and then they stopped going to visit her, and these were guys who had visited/tipped her for at least a few years.

It boggles my mind

 

[rockin_rod]

2 of her regulars who were infatuated with her, had some kind of ruckus (not sure what exactly was said etc) and then they stopped going to visit her, and these were guys who had visited/tipped her for at least a few years.

I understand that was just one example, but potentially their reason for them not visiting her anymore could have been about changes during and after pregnancy, than the fact she had a partner.

[A little off topic, but that prompted me; I used to visit a model who took a 12-month break when she had a child. On returning to work, over a short space of time, the room focus changed completely and became filled with people with a lactation fetish. No judgement, but it wasn't just a part of her new show, it was all about that. But then some of the users started asking about her child in chat, and because she was a single mother, some even began 'joking' about how they would like to slot into the family as the new father. While she is a great model, I just wasn't comfortable staying around amongst all that scene - especially the TOS issue around folk wanting to talk about minors - so I said my goodbyes and moved on.]

 

[Dannyhomebody]

The only thing more annoying than the "are you single" question is their follow up response when I say yes. Pisses me off to no end when they almost pityingly say something like "how do you not have a boyfriend, you're so hot??" as if the issue is that I can't find a man. Or that I'm after a MAN at all.

I'm a very blunt honest person so if I was in a relationship, I'd say it. I'm quite open about my sex life with them (without giving out too many specifics or making it too personal) and I do think that is an appeal in a way that talking about a relationship wouldn't be. They like to hear about the insatiable, horny cam girl getting up to naughtiness so I play into that.

On the flip side, when it comes to dating I'm an absolute closed book and never tell guys I'm a cam model. I'm more open with my members than my dates . So far since I've been doing this it hasn't had to come up, but I do dread finding someone I like and having them judge/leave me because of this job!

The only thing more annoying than the "are you single" question is their follow up response when I say yes. Pisses me off to no end when they almost pityingly say something like "how do you not have a boyfriend, you're so hot??" as if the issue is that I can't find a man. Or that I'm after a MAN at all.

I'm a very blunt honest person so if I was in a relationship, I'd say it. I'm quite open about my sex life with them (without giving out too many specifics or making it too personal) and I do think that is an appeal in a way that talking about a relationship wouldn't be. They like to hear about the insatiable, horny cam girl getting up to naughtiness so I play into that.

On the flip side, when it comes to dating I'm an absolute closed book and never tell guys I'm a cam model. I'm more open with my members than my dates . So far since I've been doing this it hasn't had to come up, but I do dread finding someone I like and having them judge/leave me because of this job!

In real life, outside of the webcams, safety 1st. Despite being the year 2022, people are still judgemental. I thought a majority of people would be above and beyond this by now, but sigh, the drama still exists. Sad. In reel/ webcam life, play the fantasy to the hilt. Don't be too fake, but don't be too honest, if that makes sense. Hope all is well, and I hope you and other webcam models find true love with somebody who looks past the webcam drama/BS and just accepts you for who you are as a person overall. If not, I hope you and other webcam models can be single and happy.

 

[NotYou]

I understand that was just one example, but potentially their reason for them not visiting her anymore could have been about changes during and after pregnancy, than the fact she had a partner.

[A little off topic, but that prompted me; I used to visit a model who took a 12-month break when she had a child. On returning to work, over a short space of time, the room focus changed completely and became filled with people with a lactation fetish. No judgement, but it wasn't just a part of her new show, it was all about that. But then some of the users started asking about her child in chat, and because she was a single mother, some even began 'joking' about how they would like to slot into the family as the new father. While she is a great model, I just wasn't comfortable staying around amongst all that scene - especially the TOS issue around folk wanting to talk about minors - so I said my goodbyes and moved on.]

In that instance with the pregnant woman, I had not seen her for months and when I saw her, we got into talking and I asked her "[name] and [name] are not here, they are always here" and she explained they had a big bust up because they are jealous.

 

[MarieElise]

In that instance with the pregnant woman, I had not seen her for months and when I saw her, we got into talking and I asked her "[name] and [name] are not here, they are always here" and she explained they had a big bust up because they are jealous.

When I got pregnant first time a tin of my regulars left. I was honest about not being single anymore so I think a lot of them must have been in a long game try to date mindset. Then I got better fans after who were accepting of it and not looking to date , and I’ve been happy since