sad and lonely

[Tristeprincesa]

i have been loving camming so far, but things have been rough the past month. I met a man who showered me in giftcards and tips, and he was great until he started to become very possessive and angry with me for no real reasons. He'd call me a slut, stupid, a bitch, get excessively jealous when I did privates with other men and then apologize and blame all his terrible words and actions on his mother who abandoned him at birth. I'd forgive him, and then he'd coax me with promises of more gifts and money, I really needed the money so I kept on pretending like he wasn't hurting me. I did care for him as a person, he made it seemed like he really cared for me. Then today, he called me a Jezebel, a whore, and said I was "peddling smut". He said I was a loser with no life doing nothing for this world. I posted his texts on my Twitter, without his information or picture anywhere it was just the chat bubbles, and he said he was going to sue me. I was messaging him longer than I should have been, but I kept thinking about the $500 he promised me for Valentine's Day, so I kept trying to make it work, but it was too much. I've blocked him and had another user tell him to leave me alone, but I'm just feeling terrible and lonely. Have you guys ever dealt with something like this? I never go out and am less than six months sober, very bad anxiety. I just never talk about camming with anyone and I really need some advice or at least comfort that this is normal maybe? I don't know

 

[lucyspoon]

You did the right thing by blocking him. It doesn't matter if someone has had a hard life, there is no excuse for being abusive like that. He can't sue you for posting his texts so don't worry about that. I know how tempting it can be sometimes but you should never compromise your comfort for a promise of money. He probably gets off on being abusive and able to control you through his gifts and tips. This is, unfortunately, more common than it should be, but don't let it scare you off from camming, because his type is definitely the minority. I've met lots of very kind, supportive people through camming, both members and fellow models. Keep your chin up and remember that his behavior doesn't reflect on you as a person. It is his own shortcomings that caused his behavior.

 

[Tristeprincesa]

You did the right thing by blocking him. It doesn't matter if someone has had a hard life, there is no excuse for being abusive like that. He can't sue you for posting his texts so don't worry about that. I know how tempting it can be sometimes but you should never compromise your comfort for a promise of money. He probably gets off on being abusive and able to control you through his gifts and tips. This is, unfortunately, more common than it should be, but don't let it scare you off from camming, because his type is definitely the minority. I've met lots of very kind, supportive people through camming, both members and fellow models. Keep your chin up and remember that his behavior doesn't reflect on you as a person. It is his own shortcomings that caused his behavior.

Thank you so much I really appreciate your kind words, it just can be such a lonely life camming! And I was just seeing the $$$ and not really caring about my happiness. it figures, I fall into abusive relationships irl why would the Internet be any different lol

 

[BlissfulSins]

I worry about this happening to me! I've been known to getting attached to regulars! I used to be a cyber escot in a game before and would get super attached and spoiled. Luckily none of them turned sour. I feel for you girl it's a hard and sad thing to do especially if he was someone you talked to all the time! As much as you say it was about the money I think there was some emotional attachment there too.

 

[Tristeprincesa]

I worry about this happening to me! I've been known to getting attached to regulars! I used to be a cyber escot in a game before and would get super attached and spoiled. Luckily none of them turned sour. I feel for you girl it's a hard and sad thing to do especially if he was someone you talked to all the time! As much as you say it was about the money I think there was some emotional attachment there too.

No I definitely was emotionally attached as well. Thank you

 

[HotAndScottish]

I'm so sorry you went through this. Sometimes, you meet people who think money is power. They think they can be ass holes because they're spending a lot. You're worth more than that. No amount of money justifies his behaviour. And his history doesn't excuse it either. My friend watched his father beat his mother. Does he beat women? No. He worships his GF and treats her like a queen.

Get yourself model verified and come join us ladies in Models Only, you'll never be lonely again!

 

[Guinevere_]

You aren't alone in experiencing that for sure. It was not your fault or anyone's but his, and you were completely appropriate to block him. Guys like that are out there but they will drain you emotionally and make the experience of camming worse for you despite what money it may bring, or at least that's my experience. A guy started escalating like that when I first started. I noticed the cycle of abuse, anger then honeymoon phase, etc. And it dragged me down, even though he was tipping. I straight up told him, I don't let people in real life treat me this way, and I won't let you. Either calm down or you can stop coming around.

One part people might not consider, is how it affects other regulars too. Members aren't blind to the person being controlling or how your mood is affected. Cutting off a negative/controlling person can make the room more welcoming to other new tippers or keep the regulars you have.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

One part I don't know if models think about, is how it affects other regulars too. Members aren't blind to the person being controlling or how your mood is affected. Cutting off a negative/controlling person can make the room more welcoming to other new tippers or keep the regulars you have.

THIS

At one point early on in my camming career, I let go of a high tipping regular that I couldn't take anymore. After doing so a bunch of members started coming in and tipping more. Several sent me messages letting me know that that ONE member thinking he was in charge, calling out other members for not tipping and such was the thing that killed visiting for them. I tried to tell the guy to quit, but he just wouldn't stop rubbing it in people's faces...as if it were his business anyway.

 

[BlissfulSins]

No I definitely was emotionally attached as well. Thank you

One of the regulars I had when I was cyber escorting still talks to me. 9 years later! I would hate to think of the mess I would be if he wasn't around any more. If you need to talk just let me know I'm here for you girl!

 

[CherryChu]

Definitely get verified - we have threads about addiction and anxiety as well in the models only section

That's abusive of him regardless of the reasons for it. No matter how much he's hurting from his early life, you can't do anything about it if he's hurting you. It really sucks when you have to lose a member who gives you a big income or helps you in some way but I think it really does help to get rid of them! If you don't have to worry about this guy, your mood will be better, and your room will be better. Being around someone like that will make your anxiety worse, because you don't know when he's about to snap and say more horrible things. Keep strong, you did the right thing!

 

[RubyDimples]

I'm so sorry this went down and I wanted to assure you nothing your doing is to blame for his behavior.

What you'll sometimes notice is SOME members can and will get very attached to you being around and sometimes will use the power of monetary things to lure you into more of their bullshit.

I had a few regulars that did this to me early on when I started camming. Eventually I had enough with those screwballs trying to control my decisions and how I chose to run things in my room.

You have to be happy and comfortable in this line of work. If anyone makes you feel anything but that I would boot them immediately. The money isn't worth the mental anguish of some screwball with mommy issues. FYI we all have issues and its not an excuse to be a possessive controlling baby. You owe this man nothing.

 

[LilPixy]

No one has the right to abuse you or make you insecure in any way! You did the right thing blocking him. I know how hard it is, I had such regular back in 2012 when I started camming. At the beginning he was nice and helpful, turning into my nightmare. I even stopped camming on that site because I was afraid he would come to my room under other username to bully me. I lost potential income and self-confidence.

Focus on your work and people who really care about you. The worst thing you can do is to let him treat you this way due to his poor excuses.

 

[Tristeprincesa]

Everyone was so sweet and supportive thank you so much!

 

[Gary_Indeed]

From the perspective of a tipper, I would say you did the right thing by blocking him. First and foremost you should have done this for yourself. Nobody has the right to treat you that way. And your self-respect suffers when you allow it. So be proud of yourself.

My favorite cam girl just had a recent experience with something similar. A tipper that was acting inappropriately for some time and she finally blocked him. Only to have him circumvent the blocking process and got back into her room. It was difficult to watch her go through the experience and the room suffered because of it.

Amazingly she took control of this troll and set him straight. She layed some ground rules and is now also minimizing the attention she gives him in the room. It has worked as he is much better behaved and she is having fun again. I am very proud of her for overcoming this.

Ultimately you have to do what is best for you, in the manner that is most comfortable for you.

Best of luck to you!

 

[yummybrownfox]

i have been loving camming so far, but things have been rough the past month. I met a man who showered me in giftcards and tips, and he was great until he started to become very possessive and angry with me for no real reasons. He'd call me a slut, stupid, a bitch, get excessively jealous when I did privates with other men and then apologize and blame all his terrible words and actions on his mother who abandoned him at birth. I'd forgive him, and then he'd coax me with promises of more gifts and money, I really needed the money so I kept on pretending like he wasn't hurting me. I did care for him as a person, he made it seemed like he really cared for me. Then today, he called me a Jezebel, a whore, and said I was "peddling smut". He said I was a loser with no life doing nothing for this world. I posted his texts on my Twitter, without his information or picture anywhere it was just the chat bubbles, and he said he was going to sue me. I was messaging him longer than I should have been, but I kept thinking about the $500 he promised me for Valentine's Day, so I kept trying to make it work, but it was too much. I've blocked him and had another user tell him to leave me alone, but I'm just feeling terrible and lonely. Have you guys ever dealt with something like this? I never go out and am less than six months sober, very bad anxiety. I just never talk about camming with anyone and I really need some advice or at least comfort that this is normal maybe? I don't know

There are many members who expect to get away with shit simply because they're big spenders. You did the right thing by cutting him off. Also, on a site like MFC, it's not enough to just click the ban button. Set it to a lifetime ban. Click the 'Ignore' button, and block him from posting on your MFC profile wall. I learned that if you don't do all of those things, he could still harass you via MFC Mail, and post butthurt comments on your profile wall. Let him run along to The Lounge and bitch there. He's not your problem anymore.

Aw, man...could you imagine dating a guy like that? He'd probably flip out over one of your male friends 'liking' one of your Facebook photos.

 

[Tristeprincesa]

There are many members who expect to get away with shit simply because they're big spenders. You did the right thing by cutting him off. Also, on a site like MFC, it's not enough to just click the ban button. Set it to a lifetime ban. Click the 'Ignore' button, and block him from posting on your MFC profile wall. I learned that if you don't do all of those things, he could still harass you via MFC Mail, and post butthurt comments on your profile wall. Let him run along to The Lounge and bitch there. He's not your problem anymore.

Aw, man...could you imagine dating a guy like that? He'd probably flip out over one of your male friends 'liking' one of your Facebook photos.

Omg I know it'd be terrible, he begged me for forgiveness again and then messaged me this morning some crazy rambling about screenshots and how my time taunting him is over lol I don't even care anymore, I'm starting to think this guy gets off on fighting with girls, and you're so gorgeous btw

 

[yummybrownfox]

Omg I know it'd be terrible, he begged me for forgiveness again and then messaged me this morning some crazy rambling about screenshots and how my time taunting him is over lol I don't even care anymore, I'm starting to think this guy gets off on fighting with girls, and you're so gorgeous btw

Wow, those mood changes are NO BUENO. And thanks for the compliment.