Glad you figured things out... and that it doesn't involve rectal violation!
I have learned that things that may seem like an awesome deal at the time, can turn out to be a nightmare! A few years ago, I moved to a house with several acres ... and down a "dirt" road. I thought it was the perfect place. The house was a fixer upper, but it was huge, and I had a vision of what it could be. Ended up signing a contract to rent the place for a year, then to purchase it a year later.
It took me a year to realize that the place was a complete money pit!!! Needed a new septic system ($15,000+ & mandatory) , the basement's foundation fixed ($10,000+), and at the minimum, the house needed new flooring throughout half of it (the owners torn it out when they started remodeling).
Luckily, there was a clause for financing in the purchase agreement, so I was able to break the contract when my bank wouldn't finance it... strangely because there was a barn. I would have needed to go with another bank and do a 2nd mortgage at a higher interest for the barn... I was mad at first, but then I started to have second thoughts about the place, and realized it was really a blessing in disguise.
With the price of the mortgage, the septic and fixing the foundation, I probably wouldn't have had any money to fix up the dang place! I drive by the place every now and then, and it looks like hell now! Some of the siding is literally rotting and falling off of the house, and it looks like animals have been trying to chew through other parts. I'm sure the new owners can't afford to fix it!
I now own a house in a great neighborhood. The house was built in the 2000's so I don't need to worry about updating anything anytime soon!
--Sorry, that ended up being a lot longer than I expected!