Real life people finding your cam site.

[BaneAndIvy]

Now, I'd like to start this off by saying "yes, I'm aware anything posted on the internet can be found by anyone. If you don't want people seeing, dont post it."

Here's my ...dilemma, though.


When husband and I made our camming twitter, he accidentally blasted it to all of his contacts in his phone. Oops.
The world keeps turning though.

But.
Now, someone told his boss. We think it was his friend/coworker. Without getting into 5 pages of how it all happened, we will just continue with the probablem. We just found out that his boss has actually been buying my videos. The name showed up in an email from clipvia. Husband confronted boss about it and boss was....shocked that he got busted and said "I just had to see."
Our "friend" is denying that he told anyone, but I'm 99% sure that's a lie.


I'm not really sure how to react to this. First I'm pretty annoyed that our friend that said he wouldn't tell anyone told his boss... But I'm very annoyed that my husband's boss is buying videos of me! I don't think there is much I can do about it, its just so freaking weird and unprofessional.

Anyone have advice? A similar instance? Anything?

 

[GoSeeMyBits.com]

A lot of models, have been asking us if they can wear a mask. Maybe you should try that?

Good luck with the situation!

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Personally if this bothers you and I can easily understand why it would, I think you should change cam names unless you have a lot of followers and built up a lot brand recognition in your name.
You might even consider changing sites or laying low for a while. The odds are either that the friend, or your boss, or somebody else on your husband contact list will do something similar.

The temptation in office when you hear rumors that somebody or somebody's wife or serious girlfriend posed nude/did porn is just too high to resist investigating. It certainly unprofessional, but when I comes to searching for porn like this, it is like mixing catnip with tuna and putting on the counter and being surprised when you find your cat on the counter.

 

[Poker_Babe]

Personally if this bothers you and I can easily understand why it would, I think you should change cam names unless you have a lot of followers and built up a lot brand recognition in your name.
You might even consider changing sites or laying low for a while. The odds are either that the friend, or your boss, or somebody else on your husband contact list will do something similar.

The temptation in office when you hear rumors that somebody or somebody's wife or serious girlfriend posed nude/did porn is just too high to resist investigating. It certainly unprofessional, but when I comes to searching for porn like this, it is like mixing catnip with tuna and putting on the counter and being surprised when you find your cat on the counter.

Yep, what he said! Oh and I loled at the mixing catnip n' tuna remark. Good one HiGirls! :thumbleft:

 

[Sansa]

Is there any way you can block him or anyone else you know on Twitter or block him from buying your content?

 

[Zoomer]

When husband and I made our camming twitter, he accidentally blasted it to all of his contacts in his phone. Oops.

I'm not tweet savvy - did he realise at the time? Or was it that he didn't know until it was wayyy too late?

Now, someone told his boss. We think it was his friend/coworker. Without getting into 5 pages of how it all happened, we will just continue with the probablem. We just found out that his boss has actually been buying my videos. The name showed up in an email from clipvia. Husband confronted boss about it and boss was....shocked that he got busted and said "I just had to see."
Our "friend" is denying that he told anyone, but I'm 99% sure that's a lie.

I'm not really sure how to react to this. First I'm pretty annoyed that our friend that said he wouldn't tell anyone told his boss... But I'm very annoyed that my husband's boss is buying videos of me! I don't think there is much I can do about it, its just so freaking weird and unprofessional.

I guess this depends upon whether you trust your friend or whether they're just a "friend". If they're a real friend - trust them else you're going to destroy a friendship. If you cannot trust them... then they're not a real friend. Is there no other way the boss could have found out? Not possible others in there knew/found out?

As for the boss - well - you are selling vids and hoping people pay for them. So unless he's brought it up in conversation, or handed it around the office, or bullying your man over it - then is it actually unprofessional? I can understand what you mean, but at the same time... companies do investigate and/or take action after finding out what some employees do that may not be in keeping with company public face. Is it that different (by their own admission of just "having to see" I guess yes )

As for creepy? I imagine it'd be unsettling/uncomfortable - but I'd label it voyeuristic. However, you are relying upon the voyeuristic nature of people to make money from the vids in the first place... so why then surprised even a boss could be voyeuristic. I guess it comes down to supposedly respecting the employee?

It's only my real friends I'd fully expect not to look if I had a vid floating out there. Then again, my real friends - I'd probably not care if they did as I'd trust them not to destroy me as a person afterwards. However, the idea they'd knowingly look first would make me question if they're an actual friend

I imagine the confrontation has made it... difficult in the office for both parties? Wondering whether blissful ignorance could have been better if the boss never said or did anything about it. Still not sure it's unprofessional else you could take some form of action (which I think is ridiculous), or alternatively quit. I dunno, maybe I just see things very differently as I'm male. I probably wouldn't care that much, as long as I wasn't getting bullied over it and/or they were all talking/smirking behind my back or something.

 

[BaneAndIvy]

Thanks for the replies.

This is how it happened. I'll try to keep it short

Husband made twitter. Logged in the app and it informed all of his contacts. Phil, the friend , called us and said "you might want to check your twitter settings". As far as friendships with the guy goes. His loyalty has always been questionable. He acts like a good friend, but hes very very sneaky and has lied about seeing big things previously. We made him my kids godfather, and all was going well, but then he just started getting shadier and shadier. he likes drama. Anyway.
We deleted that twitter and put region blocks on streammate and chaturbate so people from out state can't see.

We recently started making videos on clipvia.

The other day Bane (husband), goes into work (at a bar) and one of the girls there says "hey I gotta ask.....do you do porn? Some old guy came in and said he saw you doing porn."

This is odd because
1. Region blocks
2. Its a small slow bar with mostly regulars. If someone comes in , they Lol generally know each other. Its a very very very small chance that some random old dude recognized him from porn. Idk.
3. They would have had to know our clip via name or twitter name to find it. The only people that know that are Phil and our followers.


Then a few minutes later, we got a notification that our video got purchased and it had the boss's name on the receipt.


The bar tender said some customer saw us.
The boss said the bar tender found it through Google
Phil says he has no idea, but has also been avoiding us.

It just doesn't add up.


And bane doesn't think this part is weirdbut I do: the other day on stream mate a username popped up that was (coworkersname-city we are from) and its a really uncommon name. Though we have region blocks, we found out that sometimes mobile can get around them.

As far as solutions, I havent decided yet. I have a fan base that I'd rather not lose and 5 star ratings on all of my sites. The world isn't ending, but its just unsettling and honestly quite disrespectful and offensive. He didn't look it up because he was interested in buying my porn, he did it for the sake of being an asshole. But, on the other hand, it diiiid cost him 10 bucks, so..there's that.
As far as blocking twitter, we don't know the usernames. :/
Idk whether to ignore it, if it counts as sexual harassment in the work place, play it off and make a joke out of it? Idk. Its just frustrating and makes me apprehensive.

Thanks again everyone.

 

[KatVonnegut]

Oooooh the dreaded Twitter contact mashup.
Social media is a tad bit too creepy and willing to "help"
It's not your phone contacts, its your email contacts that it links it to.
I luckily created a cam-only email address and avoided this problem but I've heard sooo many horror stories.
I'd do what above poster said and create a new alias and/or switch cam sites, create an email thats designated strictly for "business" and create the Twitter off of that.
Or, if you don't want to do the email thing you can unlink all your contacts on Twitter by going to the "#Discover" section, click on "Find Friends" and then in sneaky subtext you can find "remove all contacts"
And then you're good to go! No more creepy boss man checking in to buy your videos and see when you're online next. :hand:

 

[Ambers Troll]

BaneAndIvy it seems you two have made your cam life public, not much you can do about it now. On the husband's work side of things he should not respond in any way to it, other than to quit that job if anything inappropriate (possibly illegal) occurs as a result of this.
One thing to keep in mind, the boss can't use this knowledge to profit in any way from it. He would need your permission, as the images are yours. This may include even profit by association with your husband, it is a risky thing the boss has done, even out of curiosity.

As for what to do about it, you will have to use your best judgement about what others who know may do. Then in response take the actions required to best suit you both. Plan for as many possibilities as you can.

 

[Zoomer]

He didn't look it up because he was interested in buying my porn, he did it for the sake of being an asshole.

Worse than I thought - i imagined an office for some reason and thought it'd be restrained so there's a chance it'll be "life as normal" soon enough out of career fear (theirs, not the other half's).

But a bar? People's judgements and sense of humour (or vindictiveness) can be made worse, or by magnified, by alcohol. Not a nice situation... :/

 

[Fairy_]

One of the things I had to come to terms with before I modeled naked or started camming was that people will do what people do. People will find odd things sexual. People will want to look! I guess try to be flattered that he was interested. After all I would assume you're ok with the content you're putting out there, and you must assume that at some point Everyone you know will see it. So if you're not ok with everyone you know possibly seeing it and seeing it as a sexual thing then...don't post it .

 

[Ann_Sulu]

One thing you can also do is ask the sites you work on (clip sites/camsites mainly) to block the ip/card of that user. Generally with camsites you can do it yourself. I'm not sure which one you're on...I may have missed it. Either way they should be co operative about it.

 

[ItsBillyBitch]

Obviously, your husband’s boss had the expectation that HIS privacy was being protected when he purchased the videos.

Now I realize this is a special circumstance but I actually believe your husband is the one that acted unprofessionally when he “outed” his boss for buying your videos. As a provider of adult content, it is your obligation to respect your customer’s privacy no matter who that customer might be.

When your husband had his “oops” moment that led to all of this, you seemed content to take it in stride. You could have shut everything down for a while to minimize the damage but you chose not to.

At this point, it is what it is and there isn't much you can do about it other than to just move on. So your husband’s boss saw your girly bits, get over it.

PS Guys often share nudes pics of their girlfriend (if they are worth sharing) with their male friends and co-workers, it’s a guy thing.

 

[ItsBillyBitch]

Ok, I just read your last post and you did try to minimize the damage.

Kick "Phil" in the nuts and call it a day.

PS Don't take this wrong, but sexual harassment in the workplace? You can't be serious, you do realize that you sell adult content to the general public? And you get to pick and choose you buys your content? LOL!

 

[AerynShade]

PS Guys often share nudes pics of their girlfriend (if they are worth sharing) with their male friends and co-workers, it’s a guy thing.

No, no they do not. Not the decent ones anyway.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

And you get to pick and choose you buys your content? LOL!

I think it's safe to assume your full legal name is not ItsBillyBitch, or whatever your screen name is. Whether they use a clip site, or simply sell things for tips and send them through mediafire or whatever. They won't know the name of the client until it's too late.

Yes, when you work in the sex industry (especially online) you have to be prepared for situations like these, however you'll never get to cut off someone completely online if they don't want you to. Last November I divorced my ex husband. He still buys my videos only to after send a twisted message including something like his initials (just letting me know it was him buying it).

Every month since last year he's bought my stuff...I call it alimony at this point. You sadly can't do a restraining order to a cyber bully, and there usually isn't enough info to get them in trouble offline either. One thing I tend to do each time though is find out his I and block him.

Support on these sites do help where they can, like if you give them screennames to ban or ips and such, but they can't provide any personal info. They can only make sure there's no contact between the two, and still the member can always change ips/cards/emails...

Really when it comes to people who are banned or you just don't want to deal with the best you can hope for is them being quiets guests. As for the workplace part of it...I really don't know what you can do unless he slips up and you have proof. Yes, you work on an adult website, but it's still harassment, when he's doing it with the intention of making a person uncomfortable.

 

[ItsBillyBitch]

PS Guys often share nudes pics of their girlfriend (if they are worth sharing) with their male friends and co-workers, it’s a guy thing.

No, no they do not. Not the decent ones anyway.

Yeah they do, even the "decent" ones. That was my initial reaction to this thread, her BF did it on purpose.

It's called being a pimp or pimping. Some guys get off on that making money off pimping their GF, I could be wrong but I doubt it.

Either that or he is a complete moron for "blasting" their pornographic twitter account to all his contacts.

 

[BaneAndIvy]

Oooooh the dreaded Twitter contact mashup.
Social media is a tad bit too creepy and willing to "help"
It's not your phone contacts, its your email contacts that it links it to.
I luckily created a cam-only email address and avoided this problem but I've heard sooo many horror stories.
I'd do what above poster said and create a new alias and/or switch cam sites, create an email thats designated strictly for "business" and create the Twitter off of that.
Or, if you don't want to do the email thing you can unlink all your contacts on Twitter by going to the "#Discover" section, click on "Find Friends" and then in sneaky subtext you can find "remove all contacts"
And then you're good to go! No more creepy boss man checking in to buy your videos and see when you're online next. :hand:

Thank you for the info! We have already done the twitter damage control, luckily. It definitely was a horror story which included sister in law and mother in law finding out, as well as husbands ex girlfriend. Quite the nightmare, but luckily fixable!

Oooooh the dreaded Twitter contact mashup.
Social media is a tad bit too creepy and willing to "help"
It's not your phone contacts, its your email contacts that it links it to.
I luckily created a cam-only email address and avoided this problem but I've heard sooo many horror stories.
I'd do what above poster said and create a new alias and/or switch cam sites, create an email thats designated strictly for "business" and create the Twitter off of that.
Or, if you don't want to do the email thing you can unlink all your contacts on Twitter by going to the "#Discover" section, click on "Find Friends" and then in sneaky subtext you can find "remove all contacts"
And then you're good to go! No more creepy boss man checking in to buy your videos and see when you're online next. :hand:

That you for you input. I didnt know that about the legal side of things.

One of the things I had to come to terms with before I modeled naked or started camming was that people will do what people do. People will find odd things sexual. People will want to look! I guess try to be flattered that he was interested. After all I would assume you're ok with the content you're putting out there, and you must assume that at some point Everyone you know will see it. So if you're not ok with everyone you know possibly seeing it and seeing it as a sexual thing then...don't post it .

Thisis very true. I dont mind other people finding out so much, its something I can live with, especially if its 'their fetish" or whatever it may. My issue was more of...it wasnt a fetish? It was just to be obnoxious. Ah well.

One thing you can also do is ask the sites you work on (clip sites/camsites mainly) to block the ip/card of that user. Generally with camsites you can do it yourself. I'm not sure which one you're on...I may have missed it. Either way they should be co operative about it.

I think it's safe to assume your full legal name is not ItsBillyBitch, or whatever your screen name is. Whether they use a clip site, or simply sell things for tips and send them through mediafire or whatever. They won't know the name of the client until it's too late.

Yes, when you work in the sex industry (especially online) you have to be prepared for situations like these, however you'll never get to cut off someone completely online if they don't want you to. Last November I divorced my ex husband. He still buys my videos only to after send a twisted message including something like his initials (just letting me know it was him buying it).

Every month since last year he's bought my stuff...I call it alimony at this point. You sadly can't do a restraining order to a cyber bully, and there usually isn't enough info to get them in trouble offline either. One thing I tend to do each time though is find out his I and block him.

Support on these sites do help where they can, like if you give them screennames to ban or ips and such, but they can't provide any personal info. They can only make sure there's no contact between the two, and still the member can always change ips/cards/emails...

Really when it comes to people who are banned or you just don't want to deal with the best you can hope for is them being quiets guests. As for the workplace part of it...I really don't know what you can do unless he slips up and you have proof. Yes, you work on an adult website, but it's still harassment, when he's doing it with the intention of making a person uncomfortable.

Thank you both, I will look into how to block his card and IP on clipvia. Hopefully there is a way to.

The reason I think it could be harassment, is because my husband is in the video too. All of him. SO the situation just gets...stranger and stranger, I suppose.

Obviously, your husband’s boss had the expectation that HIS privacy was being protected when he purchased the videos.

Now I realize this is a special circumstance but I actually believe your husband is the one that acted unprofessionally when he “outed” his boss for buying your videos. As a provider of adult content, it is your obligation to respect your customer’s privacy no matter who that customer might be.

When your husband had his “oops” moment that led to all of this, you seemed content to take it in stride. You could have shut everything down for a while to minimize the damage but you chose not to.

At this point, it is what it is and there isn't much you can do about it other than to just move on. So your husband’s boss saw your girly bits, get over it.

PS Guys often share nudes pics of their girlfriend (if they are worth sharing) with their male friends and co-workers, it’s a guy thing.

Ok, I just read your last post and you did try to minimize the damage.

Kick "Phil" in the nuts and call it a day.

PS Don't take this wrong, but sexual harassment in the workplace? You can't be serious, you do realize that you sell adult content to the general public? And you get to pick and choose you buys your content? LOL!

PS Guys often share nudes pics of their girlfriend (if they are worth sharing) with their male friends and co-workers, it’s a guy thing.

No, no they do not. Not the decent ones anyway.

Yeah they do, even the "decent" ones. That was my initial reaction to this thread, her BF did it on purpose.

It's called a pimp or pimping. Some guys get off on that, and he likes the money he gets from pimping his GF.

I could be wrong but I doubt it.

First off, yes, you are wrong. My husband did not and will not ever share any pictures or videos of me with anyone he knows ever. He isnt my pimp, hes my husband and he doesnt do that. If your idea of a "decent guy" is one that shares nude pictures of his wife with his friends, then I strongly advise that you reevaluate both your perspective and your friendships.


Secondly, sharing nude pictures or porn with your coworkers is considered sexual harassment and grounds for termination.
"Pornography has no place in a work setting. Exposure to pornographic images, directly or indirectly, can make you feel uncomfortable, objectified or threatened, creating a hostile work environment. In other words, pornography in the workplace is a violation of sexual harassment laws."
http://www.thearmstronglawfirm.com/Type ... reen.shtml

And finally, while I appreciate all opinions from every angle, I find your posts both disrespectful and condescending toward me, please do no reply to my posts or contact me if this is the tone you will continue to use. Thanks.

 

[weirdbr]

PS Don't take this wrong, but sexual harassment in the workplace? You can't be serious, you do realize that you sell adult content to the general public? And you get to pick and choose you buys your content? LOL!

I guess you are not in any way an HR person, are you? An employee's (or their significant other's) personal life is out of the scope of anything a manager can do/be involved with, even if it's public, unless it is causing work performance issues. If the manager gets involved in any way without previous approval from HR, the odds are the shit will hit the fan in a bad way for the company.

Yeah they do, even the "decent" ones. That was my initial reaction to this thread, her BF did it on purpose.

It's called a pimp or pimping. Some guys get off on that, and he likes the money he gets from pimping his GF.

I could be wrong but I doubt it.

*ding ding ding* Your tautology is wrong (that's the fun of tautologies - just one counter example proves it wrong).

Please do not think you speak for all men (or women) when you give your opinion. In my case, I like and respect the fact that someone desires to be seen by me (and only me) in a very private way .. I will only share those pictures/videos with clear and explicit consent from the person in question (since I know some people enjoy the thrill of being exposed) ; if there's no desire to share those files, they go straight into an encrypted volume that only I have the password to decrypt or I see them once and delete them securely.

 

[ItsBillyBitch]

I don't want to beat a dead horse here.

But I read through the responses and those responses, for the most part, are incredibly naive and laughable.

You have somebody, like the OP, who sells pornographic material over the internet and you think that same person has some sort of legal recourse against someone who buys that material?

It's utterly ridiculous.

 

[BaneAndIvy]

I don't want to beat a dead horse here.

But I read through the responses and those responses, for the most part, are incredibly naive and laughable.

You have somebody, like the OP, who sells pornographic material over the internet and you think that same person has some sort of legal recourse against someone who buys that material?

It's utterly ridiculous.

Then stop beating it. The horse thanks you from beyond the grave.

 

[Ann_Sulu]

I don't want to beat a dead horse here.

But I read through the responses and those responses, for the most part, are incredibly naive and laughable.

You have somebody, like the OP, who sells pornographic material over the internet and you think that same person has some sort of legal recourse against someone who buys that material?

It's utterly ridiculous.

Then stop beating it. The horse thanks you from beyond the grave.

But if he he beats it enough eventually it'll confirm he's right...right? Gotta love hubris.

 

[ItsBillyBitch]

OK, I'll try one last time.

I posted nude photos on myself online, I find out my boss looked at them. I sue for sexual harassment.

Does that make sense?

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Maybe I misunderstood, but it didn't seem like she was wanting to sue him (unless perhaps he brought up something offline).

 

[weirdbr]

OK, I'll try one last time.

I posted nude photos on myself online, I find out my boss looked at them. I sue for sexual harassment.

Does that make sense?

No. If that's the only thing the boss does, there's nothing that can be done legally. Now, if the boss starts making stupid comments/jokes all the time related to that (which I bet is the more likely result), then there's grounds for a lawsuit.

 

[BaneAndIvy]

OK, I'll try one last time.

I posted nude photos on myself online, I find out my boss looked at them. I sue for sexual harassment.

Does that make sense?

If he just looks at them in his own spare time? No. Not sexual harassment.
If he purchases them while he's at work and brings it up to other employees, yes.

And suing has nothing to do with it. Its just an issue of whether it is legal or not. I'm not planning on suing anyone.

 

[ItsBillyBitch]

And that's exactly what her husband's boss wanted to do, just to watch the fucking videos and nothing else.

And then her husband, who was the source of this whole mess, had to make it more than than it was.

Now it's time for everybody to get on with their lives. Nothing to see here, move along.

 

[AllisonWilder]

 

[BaneAndIvy]

And that's exactly what her husband's boss wanted to do, just to watch the fucking videos and nothing else.

And then her husband, who was the source of this whole mess, had to make it more than than it was.

Now it's time for everybody to get on with their lives. Nothing to see here, move along.

This is Bane.
I'll explain this in a way you can understand.
If you're management of any establishment, or owners, you are not permitted to have a sexual relationship with any employee. Technically, employees also cannot have any sexual connection with eachother legally.
If you pursue such connections, it is a violation of the law, and you can be convicted for it. Even if it's just looking at a person the wrong way, or buying a video, or even doing things with them in your own time.

You also mentioned before that we're "obligated" to keeping other peoples privacy. However, we are not. I can post all of the information I've ever gained from everyone that's come into contact with us, and have done absolutely nothing wrong. We don't give out information because we think that's wrong, but don't get confused between legal and morale boundaries.

Morally and legally, it's wrong to pursue any coworker sexually unless they ask you to, even if they do, it's a pretty easy to get caught in situation.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

This is Bane.
I'll explain this in a way you can understand.
If you're management of any establishment, or owners, you are not permitted to have a sexual relationship with any employee. Technically, employees also cannot have any sexual connection with eachother legally.
If you pursue such connections, it is a violation of the law, and you can be convicted for it. Even if it's just looking at a person the wrong way, or buying a video, or even doing things with them in your own time.
.

Hold on. Where did you get such a silly notion? There's no law against that at all. There's laws against harassment. But sexual relaitions? Uh, no. I didn't read all the prior posts, but if you were under that delusion I think that may be a source of confusion here.
Large companies quite often instill guidelines prohibiting sex among bosses and coworkers to limit liability should someone sue. But it is in no way against any law.