Quick, you have 10 seconds to be as American as possible

[yummybrownfox]

Person A: "I'm calling 9-1-1!"
Person B: "NO! I can't afford the ambulance ride, and the hospital bill!"

Sad but true.

 

[Honey Moon]

need a wall to keep da mexicans out
donald trump 2016

 

[JanelleHardy]

I am not american... so I would be afraid anything I said would be offensive.

 

[DFT]

Post a picture or say something that proves how American you are.

My microwave died. I don't know how to make popcorn now.

 

[cassiopeiafalling]

Y'all.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

 

[Johndoe91]

New forum game?

 

[DFT]

No guns detected.

That's not a fun game. Hungry Hungry Hippos is a fun game. But being old fashioned I'll stick to the topic.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?

 

[AlexLady]

Saw the title of this thread and I am now cooking biscuits and gravy before going fishing later


... I already planned to go fishing, but originally I was going to cook "breakfast-pan" which is sausage, sliced potatoes, and 6 or so eggs (It lasts me for days!)

Biscuits and gravy seems more American

 

[deblackivory]

I can't afford this shit.
I also can't afford that shit.
Great, I'm getting fined so I can't afford my old shit.

 

[seven_saxondale]

Has anyone seen my giant foam cowboy hat, starts-and-striped denim shirt and camo truck nuts?

 

[JerryBoBerry]

A bowie knife with fins, attached to a can, shot out of a can cannon...from an AR-15.
Cause 'MURICA!

 

[Johndoe91]

To quote myself:
"I stopped by Walmart and bought a Garth Brooks CD, so I'm having a pretty good day."

 

[JerryBoBerry]

Spoiler: TRIGGER warning.

'Trigger' warning...hunting...rifle trigger...yeah I amused myself with that one.

 

[AudriTwo]

 

[JerryBoBerry]

 

[ingridwest]

posting on facebook all of your INOVATIVE ideas on how to fix your CUNTRIE without actually having to do anything ;D

 

[AriaRose]

inb4 this turns into a "McDonalds versus Five Guys versus In-N-Out verus Wendy's versus White Castle" thread.

Also, you should probably start studying http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/photos/

I found this so funny I almost peed myself a little.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

America!
Home of the Heart Attack Wrap.




The APORKalypse Burrito features four ham slices, two sausage patties and bacon pieces wrapped together with folded eggs, American and Swiss cheeses inside a flour tortilla for a suggested price of $3.99. Nutrition-wise, the APORKalypse Burrito will set you back 1110 calories, 82 grams of fat, 29 grams of saturated fat, 435 milligrams of cholesterol, 3170 milligrams of sodium, 41 grams of carbs, 2 grams of fiber, 3 grams of sugar, and 48 grams of protein.
---
The APORKalypse Biscuit comes with four slices of ham, three strips of bacon, a sausage patty, a folded egg, American and Swiss cheeses in a signature Made from Scratch buttermilk biscuit for a suggested price of $3.79. This hefty breakfast biscuit will set you back 920 calories, 66 grams of fat, 25 grams of saturated fat, 240 milligrams of cholesterol, 2540 milligrams of sodium, 46 grams of carbs, 3 grams of fiber, 4 grams of sugar, and 35 grams of protein.

 

[LizabethFox]

Story time
*scene*
My aunt in the bath. Spider falls into bath. She screams. Less than five seconds later my uncle kicks in the locked door with a shot gun in his hand and two dogs behind him. Their three horses hear the scream, and start running around their pasture freaking out. This catches the attention of the neighbors. Within five minutes there's almost two dozen armed neighbors in front of their house. My uncle explains the situation. They laugh They leave. My aunt and uncle then find out that nobody had bothered to call the police despite thinking that terrible had happened

 

[SavannahQ]

quick hold my beer while I hop on this ATV and do a flip over some fireworks we smuggled from across the state border