Preferential treatment of customers by unsteady camgirls

[justjoinedtopost]

When I read your last two posts, each made me say WTF and want to throw up my hands. You treat them as you would any other woman? Really? So here’s the flip side of the question I asked KittyLeFaye, “Are you normally in the habit of tipping your female friends for sexual shows?”

Yes. I have made it clear. I consider them friends at the very least, and I tip for their sex shows.
If I had a friend who was a stripper and I visited her at work, I would tip her as well.
If I had a friend who was a waitress and she was my server, she would get tipped.
If I had a friend who was a bartender and she mixed me a few drinks, I would put something in the jar.

And if you give a woman money to perform for you sexually, you don’t think of her as a friend either.

I disagree with this.

But once again I will remind you that the OP is a premium member hoping to "go live" with a cam girl, and so that is the situation I'm addressing...

Just to clarify the bit in blue, so anyone reading this doesn't misinterpret what @Azhrarn mentioned here. I am not looking for a real world sexual/romantic hookup. Don't get me wrong, if they were nearby, I would meet up for lunch, dinner, etc. in a heartbeat. But real world sex/romance remains in the fantasy realm for now.

One of them is too young for me. The camming is not going to be a long term thing for her from what she tells me, while I want to be a long term friend. I want to be able to send a Christmas card, a happy birthday, and I want to know how she is doing. When the time comes for the sex shows to stop, I will reign myself in sexually. The thing is, she does not want people to find out she worked as a camgirl; she may want to leave all the customers behind when she goes. If so, no hard feelings, thanks for the memories. Discussed all this with her at length. We will see what happens.

The other has a SO, and they love each other; not interested in jostling that apple cart. Also not interested in helping anyone raise a teenager. Then there are financial and geographical obstacles that would have to be overcome. Are we going to settle in my country, or hers? Can I set aside my disdain for all things religious long enough to marry her in a church, or shall I stand my ground and demand a secular ceremony? Too many questions, too many questions. Strictly fantasy shit at this point. We will see what happens.

OP is on a data gathering mission here, trying to figure out why these girls are choking in the clutch. Partly because he does not at all care for the way it makes him feel, partly because it has cost them both money (and it will cost them more if we can't figure out a way around this shit), and partly because he does not care for the way it makes him feel when he sees how it makes them feel when he has to pull up stakes on them. And now that he has started referring to himself in the third person, it is clear he deserves a turd.

 

[StacySins]

@justjoinedtopost enjoy

 

[Azhrarn]

Just to clarify the bit in blue, so anyone reading this doesn't misinterpret what @Azhrarn mentioned here. I am not looking for a real world sexual/romantic hookup. Don't get me wrong, if they were nearby, I would meet up for lunch, dinner, etc. in a heartbeat. But real world sex/romance remains in the fantasy realm for now.

You're skating on thin ice. You're emotionally attached to two women, neither of whom is available to you. By your own admission one is too young for you and is only passing through camland; the other is already in a relationship and lives in another country. This won't end well.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

You're skating on thin ice. You're emotionally attached to two women, neither of whom is available to you. By your own admission one is too young for you and is only passing through camland; the other is already in a relationship and lives in another country. This won't end well.

Interesting. From your perspective, what is at risk here?

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Azhran, I don't think it's nearly as black and white as you portray it among either strippers or camgirls. Part (certainly not all) of the reason either will date a guy is because they guy is being generous to her.
Eventually you are right they stop being customers and become boyfriends. But there can be a long transition period, where they get special deals. In fact I bet in many cases they stay as favorite customers and not boyfriends. But as the guy hoping for more or it is pretty hard to tell how its going to end up, especially cause the girls often aren't sure themselves.

 

[JickyJuly]

If somebody starts harassing you, you can ban them and move on. But if the guy is normal and cool and you're not interested, you should just politely say no, as you would in any other situation.

There are some circumstances where expressing your interest in someone is rude, and camming, to me, fits in there. I certainly do not want to have to put a million polite nos out whenever I'm on cam. (My camming persona and I aren't that soft or lovey. So, this wouldn't happen to me anyhow. BUT, many young girls especially fear hurting the feelings of others especially men.) I do think some girls intentionally lead others on for money, and those girls should be the only ones having to deal with feelings flying everywhere. They can reap the hell out of what they are sowing. I definitely do believe that you can create real friendships or even romantic relationships from the camming platform, but it's really in the girls' court to make the first move in those instances and that is likely to begin with "hey! stop tipping me so I can see if these feelings exist outside of your money.".

Edit to add: either way, it doesn't sound like Just is interested in pursuing these women. Ahh. Sorry for helping to further derail this complicated, uncomplicated thread. Hehe.

 

[Teagan]

You're skating on thin ice. You're emotionally attached to two women, neither of whom is available to you. By your own admission one is too young for you and is only passing through camland; the other is already in a relationship and lives in another country. This won't end well.

Maybe if he was an emotionally immature man child but normal people can handle crushes and bonds in healthy wonderful ways and part on good terms when the time comes. A lot of what you have said like about strippers/ male/female relationships/ camgirls/ friendship/ etc has been so off base though so it does not surprise me at all you would think this too.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Many camgirls, even here on this forum are currently stripping as well or have been strippers in the past. Our worlds intermingle more than you know Azhrarn.

 

[Azhrarn]

Azhran, I don't think it's nearly as black and white as you portray it among either strippers or camgirls. Part (certainly not all) of the reason either will date a guy is because they guy is being generous to her.
Eventually you are right they stop being customers and become boyfriends. But there can be a long transition period, where they get special deals. In fact I bet in many cases they stay as favorite customers and not boyfriends. But as the guy hoping for more or it is pretty hard to tell how its going to end up, especially cause the girls often aren't sure themselves.

Strippers don't date guys because they are generous. Perhaps escort (those who work out of clubs), but not date. The average stripper acts just as offended as the average cam girl if you try to suggest she's a prostitute.

As for the rest of your comments, I can't make sense of them. I guess you're referring to cam girls? I'm thinking you've been drinking too much of the kool-aid some of these cam girls are selling, the fantasy that you can buy your way into a relationship.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

If I take privates...with someone I know and like, I am WAY more likely to be a little laid back...On the negative side, I'm also more likely to randomly mention something or get distracted or laugh longer if something goes wrong.

I have noticed this behaviour. A few minutes into the private, she starts giggling, then pulls herself together and continues the show. Couple minutes later, same thing; giggling, the show stops, and she sits up and goes "I was just thinking about what we were talking about the other day, yada yada yada..." (not complaining though, it was a pretty good private)

 

[Azhrarn]

Many camgirls, even here on this forum are currently stripping as well or have been strippers in the past. Our worlds intermingle more than you know Azhrarn.

I'm well aware of the progression. Cam girls who can't earn enough online to pay their bills supplement their income by working as strippers. Those who can't earn enough as strippers to pay their bills end up drifting into escorting/prostitution.

I first learned about cam girls from a stripper who had started out as a cam girl, and I later encouraged another stripper to give up dancing and become a cam girl.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I'm well aware of the progression. Cam girls who can't earn enough online to pay their bills supplement their income by working as strippers. Those who can't earn enough as strippers to pay their bills end up drifting into escorting/prostitution.

Oy vey... No I think my point went far over your head. Not sure why I bothered, you obviously know how every stripper thinks much better than us camgirls do.
Wink...
Nudge...

 

[Azhrarn]

Oy vey... No I think my point went far over your head. Not sure why I bothered, you obviously know how every stripper thinks much better than us camgirls do.
Wink...
Nudge...

If you're implying what I think, feel free to message me. That would be the appropriate channel for that conversation.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I don't even know. You're confusing. I'm gonna take a shower instead.

 

[Azhrarn]

Maybe if he was an emotionally immature man child but normal people can handle crushes and bonds in healthy wonderful ways and part on good terms when the time comes. A lot of what you have said like about strippers/ male/female relationships/ camgirls/ friendship/ etc has been so off base though so it does not surprise me at all you would think this too.

Sorry, but I'm not drinking your kool-aid. Not to worry though, there are thousands of guys on MFC who will.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Sorry, but I'm not drinking your kool-aid. Not to worry though, there are thousands of guys on MFC who will.

Wait a minute...these girls are selling kool-aid too!?
Now I'm really pissed.

 

[Teagan]

Sorry, but I'm not drinking your kool-aid. Not to worry though, there are thousands of guys on MFC who will.

If you think people having normal healthy relationships is drinking kool-aid ...well that fucking explains a lot about you then. Dude your whole basis for the majority of your posts is based on assumptions alone. Pathetic ones at that.

 

[Azhrarn]

If you think people having normal healthy relationships is drinking kool-aid ...well that fucking explains a lot about you then. Dude your whole basis for the majority of your posts is based on assumptions alone. Pathetic ones at that.

I read your post. I think a normal healthy relationship (aka friendship) is two people interacting in real life. You think a normal healthy relationship is a cam girl performing in front of a webcam, projecting a false image, while on the other side guys are emotionally buying into and financially supporting said false image. That's not friendship, it's adult entertainment at best, and exploitation at worst. I'm not denying your right to earn a living, I just object to the dishonesty where certain cam girls sell the fantasy that a guy can buy their affection and eventually hook up with them in real life. So excuse me for trying to interject a note of reality into this fog you've created, by reminding people of what a real friendship is.

You get offended because guys try to play the "friendship" card to try to avoid tipping you. But they're only doing that because they've figured out that you've been using the "friendship" card to keep them dangling on your hook. All I'm saying is, could we please have some honesty about what's really going on? I think that's the "adult" or "mature" way to handle things.

 

[weirdbr]

I think a normal healthy relationship (aka friendship) is two people interacting in real life.

So excuse me for trying to interject a note of reality into this fog you've created, by reminding people of what a real friendship is.

Well, welcome to 21st century, where meatspace interactions aren't the only valid interactions and concepts are being redefined all the time. For example, I have quite a few friends online - people I've talked to for over a decade. Some of them I have met in person since moving to Europe, I know their full names, we send xmas cards to each other, some invited me to their weddings. Others, I only know their online identities and small glimpses of their real world identity that they shared, like what country/state they live in, what sort of work they do and their hobbies. Does it make a difference that I don't know their names or that we don't hang out in person in the physical world? To me, nope.

 

[Serenity_Tam]

Fuck. You guys, I totally messed up the sex work progression. Am I gonna get thrown out of the club?

I'm well aware of the progression. Cam girls who can't earn enough online to pay their bills supplement their income by working as strippers. Those who can't earn enough as strippers to pay their bills end up drifting into escorting/prostitution.

 

[JoleneBrody]

Fuck. You guys, I totally messed up the sex work progression. Am I gonna get thrown out of the club?

What if a stripper decides to become a camgirl? DOES THE WORLD EXPLODE THEN? SHE DIDNT FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE DUDE ON THE INTENET WHO INSISTS EVERYONE ACTS AND THINKS IN THE EXACT SAME WAYYYYYYS!

We are not individuals with unique personalities people. None of us, incase you missed the memo.
Members, models... Carbon copies

 

[Teagan]

I read your post. I think a normal healthy relationship (aka friendship) is two people interacting in real life. You think a normal healthy relationship is a cam girl performing in front of a webcam, projecting a false image, while on the other side guys are emotionally buying into and financially supporting said false image. That's not friendship, it's adult entertainment at best, and exploitation at worst. I'm not denying your right to earn a living, I just object to the dishonesty where certain cam girls sell the fantasy that a guy can buy their affection and eventually hook up with them in real life. So excuse me for trying to interject a note of reality into this fog you've created, by reminding people of what a real friendship is.

You get offended because guys try to play the "friendship" card to try to avoid tipping you. But they're only doing that because they've figured out that you've been using the "friendship" card to keep them dangling on your hook. All I'm saying is, could we please have some honesty about what's really going on? I think that's the "adult" or "mature" way to handle things.

And there you go proving my point. An entire post with assumptions up the butt to try to back yourself up...but none if it true or in any way factual or even based on fact slightly lol. You can feel how you wish about what friendship is but you dont get to define it for other people. Youre not injecting reality but trying to state your opinion and acting as if any one else who feels different is just wrong. Sorry bud, thats not how it works. Just cause you cant wrap your mind around it doesnt mean youre right and every one else is in wrong. Gee I can't imagine why you may have trouble making friends online Mr. Know It All.

Also you have no idea what I think a normal healthy relationship is so dont try to speak for me. M'kay. Cause you're ill informed beyond belief on that one. You also have no idea what I do or dont do on cam but I in no way act as if any one can buy me or meet me so you're off there too. I also never said I was offended by guys playing friendship, I simply pointed out some guys think what they want and try to move in to that friendship/relationship area on their own which isn't well advised. Which is true. How you got from that that I ever dangled anyone is ridiculous and laughable. Again you dont know any thing about me but your assumptions are wrong over and over again here. As has most of what you said in this thread. Go ahead and spout on about kool-aid all you want but I live in the world of real things and facts, not assumptions I just wanna make up cause they sound good for my argument.

 

[Azhrarn]

What if a stripper decides to become a camgirl? DOES THE WORLD EXPLODE THEN? SHE DIDNT FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE DUDE ON THE INTENET WHO INSISTS EVERYONE ACTS AND THINKS IN THE EXACT SAME WAYYYYYYS!

We are not individuals with unique personalities people. None of us, incase you missed the memo.
Members, models... Carbon copies

Congratulations on totally missing the part where I stated I convinced a stripper to become a cam girl. Typical.

 

[yummybrownfox]

I certainly do not want to have to put a million polite nos out whenever I'm on cam. (My camming persona and I aren't that soft or lovey. So, this wouldn't happen to me anyhow. BUT, many young girls especially fear hurting the feelings of others especially men.)

Someone once showed me this great video clip where Oprah Winfrey and an expert she had as a guest on her show were talking about how women, when they were girls, were always taught that you're supposed to "be nice." And then when they're in situations where they should speak up about something that's not okay, or need to put their foot down, they tend to hesitate since they are supposed to always "be nice." It sort of reminds me of when some poor girl has some overly persistent guy in her face, bugging her for her phone number after she's already said no, she's not interested. Instead of telling him to just drop it and leave her alone, she continues to chitchat with this guy (who she really wishes would just GTFO her face) and answer all 101 of his personal questions, because she's trying to just "be nice"...and is probably afraid that if she puts her foot down, she'll be viewed as "mean" or "a bitch."

 

[Azhrarn]

And there you go proving my point. An entire post with assumptions up the butt to try to back yourself up...but none if it true or in any way factual or even based on fact slightly lol. You can feel how you wish about what friendship is but you dont get to define it for other people. Youre not injecting reality but trying to state your opinion and acting as if any one else who feels different is just wrong. Sorry bud, thats not how it works. Just cause you cant wrap your mind around it doesnt mean youre right and every one else is in wrong. Gee I can't imagine why you may have trouble making friends online Mr. Know It All.

Also you have no idea what I think a normal healthy relationship is so dont try to speak for me. M'kay. Cause you're ill informed beyond belief on that one. You also have no idea what I do or dont do on cam but I in no way act as if any one can buy me or meet me so you're off there too. I also never said I was offended by guys playing friendship, I simply pointed out some guys think what they want and try to move in to that friendship/relationship area on their own which isn't well advised. Which is true. How you got from that that I ever dangled anyone is ridiculous and laughable. Again you dont know any thing about me but your assumptions are wrong over and over again here. As has most of what you said in this thread. Go ahead and spout on about kool-aid all you want but I live in the world of real things and facts, not assumptions I just wanna make up cause they sound good for my argument.

I love the way you find the time to write entire paragraphs attacking me, but somehow can’t find the time to explain just what your own beliefs are. And no, that’s not a request for more info because I’m done with this conversation.

How much of my comments might refer to you, I don’t know. I’ve never seen you on MFC and have no desire to. But my comments weren’t all specifically directed at you. I was referring in a general sense to those cam girls who deliberately lead guys on. i’ve seen it many times. It’s counter productive. And yet they refuse to stop. They claim they consider someone a friend, and drop hints about possibly meeting in the future, and keeping in touch after the end of a camming career, but meanwhile they’re too busy to hardly ever respond to messages, and secretly have a boyfriend or two they never mention on cam, and do everything possible to hide their real tastes in music, clothes, recreational activities, etc. Yet they call that a friendship. i could post endless screenshots of examples, but that would be violating the privacy of others.

Sure, you can define friendship any way you wish. Some people think friendship is a toy elephant they carry around everywhere, and hey, who am I to say otherwise? Unfortunately when everyone gets to decide their own definitions and meanings of things, it makes it damn hard to carry on a intelligible conversation. But if you want to claim the right to determine for yourself what friendship is, well, guess what, then you have to extend that same right to the guys in your chat room. Who are you to tell them their idea of friendship is wrong? lol

But to answer the OP, only you can answer what is at stake. Are you putting your life on hold, failing to pursue real world relationships in favor of some fantasy relationship on MFC? How much time are you willing to spend waiting on the cam girl who is already spoken for before you decide to move on?

 

[dilligaf0]

What if a stripper decides to become a camgirl? DOES THE WORLD EXPLODE THEN? SHE DIDNT FOLLOW THE RULES OF THE DUDE ON THE INTENET WHO INSISTS EVERYONE ACTS AND THINKS IN THE EXACT SAME WAYYYYYYS!

We are not individuals with unique personalities people. None of us, incase you missed the memo.
Members, models... Carbon copies

Hell, there was even an (ex) pornstar who started camming and the world didn't come to an end.

 

[Joeternal]

You're skating on thin ice. You're emotionally attached to two women, neither of whom is available to you. By your own admission one is too young for you and is only passing through camland; the other is already in a relationship and lives in another country. This won't end well.

Sounds to me like the OP is an older guy who tips a lot and gets treated well, has no interest in them offline, but he's frustrated that he's not getting the kind of on cam sexual response he wants. If so, it's almost the opposite of what you're saying.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Strippers don't date guys because they are generous. Perhaps escort (those who work out of clubs), but not date. The average stripper acts just as offended as the average cam girl if you try to suggest she's a prostitute.

As for the rest of your comments, I can't make sense of them. I guess you're referring to cam girls? I'm thinking you've been drinking too much of the kool-aid some of these cam girls are selling, the fantasy that you can buy your way into a relationship.

I can think of 3 separate examples involving strippers that would show that your generalization is flat out wrong. But your mind is made up that you know everything about strippers, so I won't bother. Preferring date somebody who is generous and/or rich doesn't make you a prostitute, successful is generally considered a desirable trait in men.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

You're skating on thin ice. You're emotionally attached to two women, neither of whom is available to you. By your own admission one is too young for you and is only passing through camland; the other is already in a relationship and lives in another country. This won't end well.

Sounds like the Apocalypse is getting closer by the minute.

But to answer the OP, only you can answer what is at stake.

If I am the only one who knows what is at stake, then how do you know I am "skating on thin ice" and this "won't end well"?

(by the way, why is Smug Grin purple?)

 

[Roger]

I think OP question has been answered and it does seem that this thread went a little sideways, but I want to throw in my 2 cents because I like the way my text looks on the intrawebs. Cam sites, in my opinion, are primarily for entertainment based on social interaction. Yes, there are cases where there is a sexual stuff going on, but what sets a cam site apart from a Porn site is that you actually get to interact live with the models and other members. Since there is a social aspect, I believe there is an expectation to personalize the experience for each individual. I think there can be misconceptions made when the model may try to personalize an experience for what she thinks that member enjoys the most versus the other member. I also agree with what Serenity_Tam mentioned about sometimes it just depends on the situation and how the model feels and how the model feels about the member. I am not surprised in cases where a member can get "preferential" treatment over the generous tipper because that member has a silver tongue. That member is providing greater perceived value at that moment that elicits the "preferential" treatment over the generous guy. Or maybe the model caves under pressure from the more blunt member whereas the model feels safer and more willing to stay inside her comfort zone around the regular tipper.

Quick comment on the whole friends thing. I think there are different categories of friendship. There are friends that you would sacrifice your life for. There are friends that you enjoy going out for drinks with, but they would not make it on your wedding invite list. Maybe I am using the term friends loosely, but I think it is entirely possible to develop a friendship between model and member, but which category does it fall into?

I for one would totally shy away from anything beyond the online friendship. I really do not want the model to find out that I have fur, a green face, plot against the 3 cutest girls in the world and have an unhealthy desire to rule the world.