Post-orgasm guilt during a private

[dustinxxxizzle]

Any guys ever experience guilt after rubbing one out during a private? Until very recently I've never had this happen, but the last few times I've felt it creeping up on me. It's not even that I request anything extreme in private, in fact my activities are pretty much non-nude in nature. It's just a feeling I get that I'm taking advantage or something even though I'm positive that's not the case. It doesn't carry over into the next private as everything is all smiles and the usual without anything out of the normal, but sure enough in the end after I orgasm I feel guilty about it for a little while. Am I alone?

 

[Jupiter551]

can't really offer any insight other than to suggest you try to pin down where the guilt is coming from. Sometimes recognising where a feeling comes from is the key to neutralising it.

 

[Anonymous]

I'm confused...why you would feel guilty for cumming from a private show? Isn't this the purpose of a lot of private shows? So what's there to be guilty about? Are you a married man who's "not supposed" to be jerking off to cam models?

Please explain.

 

[dustinxxxizzle]

I'm confused...why you would feel guilty for cumming from a private show? Isn't this the purpose of a lot of private shows? So what's there to be guilty about? Are you a married man who's "not supposed" to be jerking off to cam models?

Please explain.

Nope, I'm not married, I'm not in a relationship, nor am I even dating. I don't know where the guilt is coming from. Maybe it's because I tend to gravitate towards the more low key cam girls, who tend to get pretty quiet when "performing." Still, I know they know what is going on at my end and are okay with it, but I still feel guilty afterwards. That's the only thing I can guess for why I feel guilty.

 

[Nordling]

I think I understand. Most of us grew up in families and peer groups where "sex for pay" wasn't the norm, and while this is all about consenting adults, sometimes our unconscious minds revert back to childhood programming.

I wouldn't worry about it...just a passing thing.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Do you or have you taken any drugs of any sort? Just sometimes drugs especially like weed and coke can make you feel randomly paranoid/guilty about various things.

As for the guilt, I don't know, maybe you really want to be with a real person, and your guilt is that you're doing something/spending money on a sexual experience with a camgirl, when really it's not what you want!

Sometimes when I'm really hungry I will order chinese food, afterwards I feel guilty, even though I enjoyed the food, that really it wasn't worth the money and the unhealthiness of it and I would have enjoyed a meal i'd bothered to cook just as much, if more etc. Maybe that guilt is something similar, that you're horny, so you're going for a quick wank with a sexy camgirl, because it's fun and available, when really you'd rather spend your time/money elsewhere. Or probably/maybe it's a completely different answer. If it is this then I advise you go to a dating website/put yourself out there, and see if some real sex helps.

 

[AprilCarroll]

If your guilt comes from worry for the model, maybe this will help: I can't speak for all models, but camming has given me financial security while allowing me to explore my sexuality in a way I never have before. I really enjoy myself every time I'm on camera, and if I ever stop enjoying myself, I log off. I love doing privates, I love hanging out with guys in public chat, and I sign off every on a high. I'm a student, and while I LOVE what I'm studying, I also really look forward to hanging out with my MFC guys at the end of each day.

The sex industry certainly has plenty of women who are there out of circumstance and not necessarily by choice, but there are just as many (if not more!) who are there because they want to be. As long as you're visiting models who look like they're having fun and as long as you treat them with respect, please don't feel guilty! I promise that they are genuinely happy to spend time with you. :thumbleft:

 

[southsamurai]

i know what you are talking about, though not from privates with models, the permission i need to feel comfortable is implied in that situation, but if i fantasize about people who i knnow wouldnt like the idea, or i cant ask what they would think, then i feel skeevy. its one reason i never "enjoy myself" in publc shouws. and for the same reason i never fantasize about famous people sexually. well not outside of dreams anyway, thats different.


btw apologies for my typing here, i tried to go back and correct stuff, but double dose of ativcan and i cant see straight fuck a panic attack in its ass!

 

[Albert_1]

Can't say that I have. I'd have to get the feeling I'm creeping her out in some way for that to happen. Which fortunately hasn't happened yet.

 

[LadyLuna]

I am a low-key quiet model in private. When the guy tells me "thanks, I came hard" or something similar, I get a huge smile on my face and say "thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it."

When I was able to cum, I say that I hope he enjoyed it as much as I did. What I'm really saying is, I hope you got to cum too. When I cum, and the guy leaves immediately, I'm left feeling slightly guilty and wondering if he thought "well, she came, show's over I guess". My take on my shows is- you're the paying customer, you're the one who's supposed to enjoy it.

Maybe you could try actually sharing with the model that you enjoyed the show at the end of it? I don't know if getting a reaction like the one I usually give the guys who tell me they came with a thank you will help with the guilt, but I figure it's worth a shot. Will definitely help validate the good feelings of having cum, instead of the guilt.

Be warned though, some models just don't care whether or not you came... so saying that you really enjoyed it instead of "thanks, I came" might be a good idea, unless it's a model you know actually focuses on making a member cum as their satisfaction for a job well-done.

 

[Rebecca Buck]

I can't speak for everyone, but there are times where I know I've felt a bit of guilt after rubbing one out. Never on cam, oddly enough... Camming actually makes me feel pretty productive and needless to say, the attention and praise is a great ego boost. But before camming, whenever I'd have some solo time, I know for sure there would be moments after the 'afterglow' had worn off when I kind of sit there and look at what I was just watching and couldn't help but think "Crap. I'm a perv."

I think some of it does have to do with childhood programming. I've been having to deal with anxiety and negative thoughts a lot lately, and a lot of what I battle is misconceptions that have been placed in my head throughout time, things that I had no real choice in absorbing just because it was considered 'the norm'

Just remember that what you're doing is consensual, and that there is no shame in having fantasies.

 

[Jupiter551]

in fact my activities are pretty much non-nude in nature

This makes me wonder if it's because somehow you perceive it as non-sexual on her side, but sexual on yours - (as if you couldn't control yourself perhaps, even though she's clothed?) after you orgasm your self-control returns and you feel a bit ashamed in front of her.

It's just a feeling I get that I'm taking advantage or something even though I'm positive that's not the case

I'm positive you don't need to feel that way, or that she feels you've taken advantage of her, but YOU feel a bit that way. At the same time, by going to particular types of models you're also seeking out this experience, so you enjoy it, but when you're not horny you feel like it's wrong. The arousal/shame dynamic is happening each time, and part of that is probably the contrast of being at the height of your sexual arousal (the climax) followed by a complete and sudden return to "normal", in your normal state you've been conditioned to believe somehow that if a girl is clothed and doing non-sexually explicit stuff (never mind that she's a camgirl) that it's somehow "wrong" (or maybe even non-consensual hence the "taking advantage"?) to lose control and masturbate but at the same time you can't help yourself.
Just remember though, you're not doing anything wrong on any level, and she's not being taken advantage of. I guess you could try talking for a few minutes after and you'll see she's still friendly and happy etc.

Complete guess but...in your daily life are you a fairly private person who doesn't really open up much, or doesn't have the opportunity to open up much?

 

[PunkInDrublic]

I don't think I've ever felt guilt after but I do get kinda grossed out by whatever I was watching the model do. Same with porn, it seems way more gross after I'm done.

Just sometimes drugs especially like weed and coke can make you feel randomly paranoid/guilty about various things.

Weed and coke are probably two of the least likely drugs to produce strong paranoia.

 

[Nordling]

I don't think I've ever felt guilt after but I do get kinda grossed out by whatever I was watching the model do. Same with porn, it seems way more gross after I'm done.

Just sometimes drugs especially like weed and coke can make you feel randomly paranoid/guilty about various things.

Weed and coke are probably two of the least likely drugs to produce strong paranoia.

Not true, at least with regard to weed. Especially for people new to weed. Paranoia is one of the first noticeable effects for first time users.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

I don't think you get what I'm trying to say. I'm not saying that they both won't cause paranoia but are far less likely to have that affect then many other drugs. She said especially drugs like weed and coke but almost every other drug is more likely to produce a paranoid feeling.

 

[Nordling]

I don't think you get what I'm trying to say. I'm not saying that they both won't cause paranoia but are far less likely to have that affect then many other drugs. She said especially drugs like weed and coke but almost every other drug is more likely to produce a paranoid feeling.

No, I got what you're saying. I just disagree. Weed is FAMOUS for it's paranoid effects.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Pretty sure you still don't get it. The chances of someone feeling paranoid from weed is way less likely then someone feeling paranoid from about 90 percent of other drugs. Again, I'm not saying it doesn't make people paranoid, but the likelihood of it happening are nowhere near the same as acid, crack, heroin, meth, painkillers and hundreds of other drugs where paranoia is almost a guarantee.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Well, finally I've been pushed over the edge to use the ignore feature on here. Am loving that I no longer have to listen to angry idiot.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

The ol call someone a idiot for no reason and ignore. Classy and mature lady she is.

 

[inkydoo]

Pretty sure you still don't get it. The chances of someone feeling paranoid from weed is way less likely then someone feeling paranoid from about 90 percent of other drugs. Again, I'm not saying it doesn't make people paranoid, but the likelihood of it happening are nowhere near the same as acid, crack, heroin, meth, painkillers and hundreds of other drugs where paranoia is almost a guarantee.

Your claim runs counter to the common wisdom that pot (for some) is a major paranoia inducing drug. That doesn't mean you're wrong, but it does mean you'll need to provide some backup other than just repeating yourself.

Citation please?

 

[PunkInDrublic]

A citation for common knowledge? How many people can use pcp or ether and not get paranoid? I would guess not many. How many could smoke weed or do some coke without paranoia? Millions do everyday. You could check out drugs-forum.com if you feel like reading up on random drugs.

 

[AnaVictoriaXO]

How about we start a new thread about drugs if you feel the need to discuss/debate it?

No need to derail a thread!

 

[PunkInDrublic]

No need to derail a thread!

Sorry about that. Heres a cool safe for work gif to make up for the derailing.

 

[Zoomer]

A drugs forum is not a suitable reference. A suitable reference is a peer reviewed scientific paper published in a journal or other such source. These present facts with research carried out in controlled environment, with reproducible results, or stating their sample size with controlled measures in place as well as having control samples as well.

May be that some posts on the forum are referring to research papers produced by Doctors. It may well be that many of the posters are Doctors, but a post on a forum is not a reliable information source.

And just for entertainment - you are telling everyone it's a "well known fact..." regarding what you think, whilst dismissing their "well known fact..." as being wrong. The irony of arguing against someones well known fact being wrong whilst your well known fact is right, coupled with the attention to semantics in the original offending post, should be highly amusing.

But I kinda doubt you realised


As for the original post - the only time I felt guilty was after my first private with a lady I had spent lots of time chatting. At the end I had said "It was fun", to which she replied "for you, yes". That was feeling guilty, and whilst we still chatted for many more months before she quit - I never took her private, or in group, again (no, I didn't exit asap either ). Nearly 30 months later and I still remember it - it made an impact.

 

[AprilCarroll]

As for the original post - the only time I felt guilty was after my first private with a lady I had spent lots of time chatting. At the end I had said "It was fun", to which she replied "for you, yes". That was feeling guilty, and whilst we still chatted for many more months before she quit - I never took her private, or in group, again (no, I didn't exit asap either ). Nearly 30 months later and I still remember it - it made an impact.

That was really rude and unprofessional of her! I'm sorry you had to hear that after finishing a private. Most girls really do enjoy themselves during privates; I certainly do! It sounds like being a camgirl wasn't her cup of tea, which has nothing to do with you.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

As for the original post - the only time I felt guilty was after my first private with a lady I had spent lots of time chatting. At the end I had said "It was fun", to which she replied "for you, yes". That was feeling guilty, and whilst we still chatted for many more months before she quit - I never took her private, or in group, again (no, I didn't exit asap either ). Nearly 30 months later and I still remember it - it made an impact.

That was really rude and unprofessional of her! I'm sorry you had to hear that after finishing a private. Most girls really do enjoy themselves during privates; I certainly do! It sounds like being a camgirl wasn't her cup of tea, which has nothing to do with you.

nice to hear of models with such great business practise.... wtf?

lol if that were after sex it'd be really rude and kind of funny, but after a private? It just doesn't make sense! I mean sure, I'm sometimes in a terrible mood on cam and going through shit, yet I'm generally still cheery and friendly on cam. Sometimes I'll do a private or a show, and I find enjoyment out of entertaining, but it's not really as much about the physical pleasure and very few times I've done a show when I haven't really enjoyed it. But essentially I'm not doing it for enjoyment, I'm doing it for money. Enjoyment is a bonus. Everyone has days they don't enjoy at work, doesn't mean you have to be a bitch to customers/co workers and dampen their days! Surely that just takes all the enjoyment of the private away for everyone. What was the point of her even doing the show?

I wouldn't even say that to someone after sex though. I am brutally honest about certain things, but things I feel aren't related to my job, like I don't tell guys I want to fuck them, and don't encourage it at all, I'm sure I have left several battered egos on mfc. But that's not part of my job (at least how I do it), I provide entertainment of a sexual nature, so that's what I do. I may be very honest to men when they come in and start describing what they'd do to me if they were there (well obviously I would be trying to find some kind of weapon and phoning the police!), but when it comes to what I'm actually doing/have done, that's when it's fantasy and honesty isn't completely necessary (unless it's positive honesty!).
If I saw a play, really enjoyed it, told the main actor/actress afterwards and they made that snippy comment it'd really upset me and probably make me feel guilty for watching/ruin the whole experience.

 

[Jupiter551]

As for the original post - the only time I felt guilty was after my first private with a lady I had spent lots of time chatting. At the end I had said "It was fun", to which she replied "for you, yes". That was feeling guilty, and whilst we still chatted for many more months before she quit - I never took her private, or in group, again (no, I didn't exit asap either ). Nearly 30 months later and I still remember it - it made an impact.

Wow...should have replied yeah and it was profitable for you. If you're paying for it then while it would be nice to have it mutually enjoyed she should hardly feel put-out if it wasn't.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

As for the original post - the only time I felt guilty was after my first private with a lady I had spent lots of time chatting. At the end I had said "It was fun", to which she replied "for you, yes". That was feeling guilty, and whilst we still chatted for many more months before she quit - I never took her private, or in group, again (no, I didn't exit asap either ). Nearly 30 months later and I still remember it - it made an impact.

Wow...should have replied yeah and it was profitable for you. If you're paying for it then while it would be nice to have it mutually enjoyed she should hardly feel put-out if it wasn't.

Yup! mutually beneficial!
Sometimes with tips/privates/shows I'm merely enjoying doing them, but generally, I'm enjoying doing them mainly because I'm enjoying the money/appreciation, the sexy stuff is added extra enjoyment. If I were going to have a sexual experience I'd just go have sex. If I were to make some money and have a sexual experience, I'll cam

 

[Jupiter551]

Yup! mutually beneficial!
Sometimes with tips/privates/shows I'm merely enjoying doing them, but generally, I'm enjoying doing them mainly because I'm enjoying the money/appreciation, the sexy stuff is added extra enjoyment. If I were going to have a sexual experience I'd just go have sex. If I were to make some money and have a sexual experience, I'll cam

Right, and I have no idea personally but I can imagine that it would be impossible to do privates as a cam model several times a day and enjoy them all. Maybe you feel genuinely horny now and then but most of the time it's a performce - it has to be, you can't just turn it on and off like a light switch.

 

[dustinxxxizzle]

At the same time, by going to particular types of models you're also seeking out this experience, so you enjoy it, but when you're not horny you feel like it's wrong. The arousal/shame dynamic is happening each time, and part of that is probably the contrast of being at the height of your sexual arousal (the climax) followed by a complete and sudden return to "normal", in your normal state you've been conditioned to believe somehow that if a girl is clothed and doing non-sexually explicit stuff (never mind that she's a camgirl) that it's somehow "wrong" (or maybe even non-consensual hence the "taking advantage"?) to lose control and masturbate but at the same time you can't help yourself.
Just remember though, you're not doing anything wrong on any level, and she's not being taken advantage of. I guess you could try talking for a few minutes after and you'll see she's still friendly and happy etc.

Complete guess but...in your daily life are you a fairly private person who doesn't really open up much, or doesn't have the opportunity to open up much?

Yup, you've hit the nail on the head. I'm a very private, introverted person in my daily life. Also, the sexual nature of the privates I feel is pretty well known despite it being a non-nude affair, as I've explained it to my regs. But a lot of it involves imagination from my part since it's not as clear cut as, say, a toy show. I think this analysis is fascinating and I think much of it might be right.

If your guilt comes from worry for the model, maybe this will help: I can't speak for all models, but camming has given me financial security while allowing me to explore my sexuality in a way I never have before.

Well said, and I've posted long enough on ACF to know that cam girls are strong, independent women, which makes me feel a bit silly for feeling so guilty.

Thanks for all the replies. Really helped.