I would like to begin by clarifying that my question does not imply that I am in favor of a cam girl being morally obligated to tell the truth about her relationship status. I never said that I was personally owed private and sensitive information, and I feel the wrath of some of these posts. The reason I brought it up is because a very popular model recently lost her high tipper who has spent extraordinarily high amounts of money to make her number one over and over. She was married and kept it secret and he believes that if you lie to get money, you are a scammer. I was just wondering if anyone else feels like him. The overwhelming majority agree that fantasy is fantasy and models do not owe anyone the truth, which is great to see. Thank you all for taking the time to reply.
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(Opinion) Are Camgirls Morally Obligated To Disclose Their Relationship Status?
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I think the sentiment a lot of these replies would still hold true even if you stated this situation before or if you stated that your original question does not imply your moral beliefs on the matter.
The sensitivity of the subject and your wording is what elicited the “wrath” of theses posts. So I wouldn’t take it personally, just take what the people have stated as our perspectives.
Nonetheless, tippers like that have disillusioned themselves and set the model on a pedestal that is unrealistic thinking that money buys them whatever they want out of that model. She did not scam anyone, the tipper scammed himself.
Edit:
Tippers like the one you mentioned, have this idea that they have control over a reality that is actually fantasy. He probably views camming like a sims game where he has control of the situation. Sad day for him.
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It is possible then that we do not know the whole story then.
YER A DAMNED LIAR!!! I KNOW CUZ I SAW HER HOOKING AND GET PICKED UP BY RICHARD GEER!!! WHY ARE WE SHOUTING AT EACH OTHER!?!?!? WHY IS MY VOICE MODULATION PEGGED OUT AT YELLING LEVEL!?!?!?
GraysonDrake
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There's no sides, models are under no obligation to disclose their relationship status any more than members are.
Nobody is entitled to anyone's "real" personal information. Ever. End of story.
It's unethical to even think you are entitled to it in the first place.
Nope, that's not really anyone's business but the model's. Just like the relationship statuses of the members in my chat are none of my business. I don't give a fuck about your wife or girlfriend or whatever, what you do outside of the cam room is your own damn business, just like what I do outside of my shows is mine.
Don't even start with this sexist, whorephobic crap. People in the sex industry (OF ALL GENDERS) "lie" to protect our own safety and interest mostly. It's not like you gain or lose anything from it.
This is not unique to sex workers, or women for that matter. Not wanting to disclose your real name or location is just part of internet culture, and asking for or expecting this information is considered to be extremely rude and creepy.
I really want to spam you with screenshots of all the men actively lying to me about all sorts of random shit for literally no reason except to jerk off to me believing their fantasy. Yet somehow you don't seem to have any ethical issues with this, why is that?
Models (and their families) have been stalked, threated, harassed, and doxed by members. In-person sex workers have been murdered when men find out their personal information. There are also real, life shattering consequences to being outed as a sex worker for many of us. We don't owe you shit.
I've posted at length about parasocial relationships on here. The trick with keeping them from becoming toxic is just remembering that it's not real and the person you think you know probably doesn't exist just by the vey nature of how these exchanges work. Everything would still be a fantasy even if you knew their fucking social security numbers. I am 100% unavailable to anyone I meet through camming regardless of my relationship status. If they can't separate fantasy from reality that isn't my fault or my problem, and if they try to make it my problem they're getting a banhammer to the face. If a member is so smitten by me that he thinks we're in a real relationship then I'm ethically bound to give him a harsh reality check.
The actually interesting aspect of parasocial relationships in camming is when everyone knows their place and it's a wholesome, respectful, boundary enforced type of exchange. These are the kinds of relationships I seek to cultivate as a model, and I've got a twitchy trigger finger for those who try to take more from me than I am willing to give.
dude has no one to blame but himself. if he wanted a girlfriend, should of went to a dating site. maybe he could have invested that money into a productive/fulfilling hobby instead of unobtainable pussy
Usually requires encouragement to keep it going, like demands for "support", which have nothing to do with entertainment or fantasy.
Entertainment and attention are interchangeable.
Personally speaking, is not a lack of interest in the girl you are into, is much more the fact that you know from the start - and btw since she's not dumb she should've know right off the bat as well, but I digress here - that your relationship is not going to follow the average route, so to speak. Also, I don't like wasting other people's time, since I don't like people who waste my time.
Exactly, since you are not an as*hole, you perfectly know from the start that just you cannot live up to her expectations. Not because you don't want to, but just because this is your life, and definitely you are not going to change that for anybody. Why would you? For instance, when I broke up with with my last ex - I can totally be an as*hole if I want to, I just told her get yourself a guy who you know would be at 5.pm at home, at your beck and call, and in your country the next day. I am simply not that kind of guy. I am sorry, what can I do about it, You should've that know from the start what you were getting into. Not my problem.
Absolutely,. Also, someone should tell them they are on the look out for something in the wrong place. I agree.
Elaborate for me please. Because from what OP has stated and what @dark_mermaid has said, there could be more to the story.
If model lets slip that she’s in a relationship or married, I don’t see how that is scamming anyone, just a dent in someone’s fantasy. If a cam model that plays the love card and promises of travel, needs him to pay her bills, makes excuses for more money, takes money offsite, trades personal info, etc. (things that we see in a typical cam love scam) that seems more of a scam and more suspect to me.
But OP stated that this one tipper spent a lot of money to keep her number one for quite some time (I assume this model is on MFC). Even with him gone, I still think she would rank well, so I don’t think she scammed him or anyone for that matter. Models who do scam don’t rank very high on any site, maybe that’s naive of me to assume but those are my observations.
Ohhh it just dawned on me what this whole thread is about.
Ahhhhh okay makes sense. That dude sounds super spiteful.
I dont know any of that drama that went on with that rock fella. But obviously no model is obligated to tell some random member anything personal. on the other hand, if a model or ANYONE is intentionally deceiving someone for tokens\money , are they a shit person? yeah.
THE MOLLIE MARIE
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Aw cr@p maybe I need to change my username here, after reading that
This could add an exciting new dimension to camming.
"Before continuing with this private could you please disengage the lush and hook up the polygraph."
"There are questions that need to be answered about your relationship status."
"Before continuing with this private could you please disengage the lush and hook up the polygraph."
"There are questions that need to be answered about your relationship status."
The tipper you speak of obviously had no obligation to tip the model in question, nor did the model have an obligation to divulge information about her private life. It doesn't even matter if she told him initially that she was single, only to tell him later that she was indeed married. The tipper in question could have just used the "marriage lie" as a means to break free from the model because his credit cards were maxed or his bank account was near empty. It's easier to make it look like the model's fault than to admit their own financial shortcomings.
I said this in another thread recently, but it sounds like the tipper in question doesn't know what cam sites are for.
That seems like a very dramatic way to break free from a model. Plausible for some members but in this instance, I doubt it.
As Amber mentioned, the tipper that OP is talking about in this thread and the tipper in the other thread may very well be the same tipper.
If so, MFC has been known for drama that is fueled by members. I haven’t cammed on MFC long enough to experience the drama, but I have seen and heard from other models fall victim to the frustrations that is caused by members on there.
D
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no, no, no, no, no and let me think..... no!
It is an achievement of modern society that health and safety considerations for any worker are important. Why should that be any different for cam models? In that regard there is no difference to any other service providing profession. If someone thinks any buy and sell relationship entails more than it is agreed upon earlier, a serious attitude adjustment is in order.
Lets be harsh for a moment and realize that this is a train of thought that can lead to slavery.
Describing these things as "lie" is highly toxic, and is designed to impose a feeling of guilt onto the models, thankfully it doesn't work very often.
IT IS AN ACT!
It is an achievement of modern society that health and safety considerations for any worker are important. Why should that be any different for cam models? In that regard there is no difference to any other service providing profession. If someone thinks any buy and sell relationship entails more than it is agreed upon earlier, a serious attitude adjustment is in order.
Lets be harsh for a moment and realize that this is a train of thought that can lead to slavery.
Describing these things as "lie" is highly toxic, and is designed to impose a feeling of guilt onto the models, thankfully it doesn't work very often.
IT IS AN ACT!
Either the OP was in the room at the time and saw the chat exchange where the tipper openly accused the model of "lying", or the OP and the model communicated about what happened after the fact. Either way, the drama occurred. I just offered a reason why the tipper would cause the drama in the first place. The tipper obviously felt compelled to tip the model huge amounts over time, so it sounds like he had an attraction to her online persona, and something about her obviously kept him "hooked" and continuously tipping. The "lie" about whether or not she was married just seems so suspect, because it points to the notion that the tipper was looking for more than just a camgirl experience. She is probably better off that he decided to leave.
That he now tips other girls as "revenge" is just childish of course.
I will only say this: the cam girl in question and her big tipper actually met, hence the big tips thrown at her.
To me that no longer sounds like the typical camgirl that sells a fantasy (i have respect for those who make shows and sell videos - those who sell something and are being honest about it) but it sounds like someone who tried to mislead a guy just to get his money.
And i don’t undertand those who say “ohh, poor girl, she’s been through a lot because of him” LOL NO. It’s not like he cornered her and forced her to take his money, meet him and lie to him.
There is more to this story but what i said is enough. It saddens me when camgirls only choose their side because they are women and victims.
Have a nice day all.
To me that no longer sounds like the typical camgirl that sells a fantasy (i have respect for those who make shows and sell videos - those who sell something and are being honest about it) but it sounds like someone who tried to mislead a guy just to get his money.
And i don’t undertand those who say “ohh, poor girl, she’s been through a lot because of him” LOL NO. It’s not like he cornered her and forced her to take his money, meet him and lie to him.
There is more to this story but what i said is enough. It saddens me when camgirls only choose their side because they are women and victims.
Have a nice day all.
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Sounds like the tipper in question is confused and thinks they are.
Sounds like the tipper in question is confused and thinks they are.
The more I read the thread, the more baffled I am by the fact someone believes that this model or anyone else should not have a private life, just like I suppose that chat member has and any other members have as well.
Also, as others have hinted, somebody should tell that guy that instead of developing a rather creepy and weird obsession over a particular model, looking in a wrong place for a relationship which she wasn't selling, he should have put his time at better use, and, I personally add, with that amount of money spent he might as well either get a girlfriend, a wife, or spend lovely time with a couple of girlfriends who garantee by the end of the day would have that model completely erased from his mind and have him forgetting that she even existed. But I mean, to each his own. My 2 cents.
Also, as others have hinted, somebody should tell that guy that instead of developing a rather creepy and weird obsession over a particular model, looking in a wrong place for a relationship which she wasn't selling, he should have put his time at better use, and, I personally add, with that amount of money spent he might as well either get a girlfriend, a wife, or spend lovely time with a couple of girlfriends who garantee by the end of the day would have that model completely erased from his mind and have him forgetting that she even existed. But I mean, to each his own. My 2 cents.
There's camgirls who meet up with regulars/high tippers for totally platonic hang outs and I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Well, as long as proper safety precautions are put in place, but yeah. Just because a model and a member hung out doesn't mean that the model was actively telling the member that she wanted to be in a relationship with him or leading him on/loveconning him.
From what I've gathered, it seems like all she did was omit the fact that she was married, which is her right to do, and the member just assumed she wanted to be with him without her saying so. Obviously, no one actually knows what really happened aside from the model and the member, but the reason why people are "choosing her side" isn't because she's a woman. It's because the member is actively trying to create high school-esque drama while the model is staying quiet about it (at least in public) and is handling the whole situation gracefully. Generally, when someone is creating this much public drama just to get under another person's skin, they're doing a lot more in private. If you take a look around the forum, you'll see that no one here will defend models who actually lovecon members. This just doesn't seem to be the case in this situation.
clearly the dude is hurt, and if she did lie that she was single i would feel bad for him but it's his actions that scream emotional immaturity and manipulation is where i lose all sympathy. he could just silently move on without creating drama and attempting to make her feel hurt and jealous like a normal adjusted grown adult.
yeah there are multiple sides to every story, but this tipper's actions kinda make his side of the story moot.
i mean this from the bottom of my heart, but some of you guys need to touch some grass and create actual relationships that aren't transactional base.
sorry for dp to late to add but another thought:
we cammodels do have changes in our relationship status all the time. some people may choose not to update because of the potential fallout. this whole situation is a totally valid reason why models choose to not be open about their relationship status, and it cements me not wanting to update my audience if there is a change in mine.
we cammodels do have changes in our relationship status all the time. some people may choose not to update because of the potential fallout. this whole situation is a totally valid reason why models choose to not be open about their relationship status, and it cements me not wanting to update my audience if there is a change in mine.
GraysonDrake
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If your only evidence for them meeting is the big tips then that's not actually evidence. People throw big tips at models they've never met IRL all the time, you're making a massive assumption based on zero evidence. I had someone come into my room for the first time and drop several massive tips for no discernable reason before other than they liked me. There is literally no reason to make assumptions about larger motivations when they are completely indeterminable.
Additionally, even if a model met someone IRL (be it platonically or as an escort) that doesn't automatically mean that she is misleading him. It's not like people who see escorts are being misled either. Camming isn't a dating site. This is sex work, emphasis on WORK.
I mean this as politely as possible, but you have no fucking idea what you're talking about. Members like this are abusive. They start out with large tips and use the fact that they have done so to try to manipulate models into doing things they don't want to do because they feel obligated. They get models to rely on them as a source of income and then hold their tips hostage in order to get what they want, and lash out when it stops working. I've seen it happen to lots of models and it's horrifying.
You clearly have zero life experience in matters like this, or if you do it's been from the other side of it. It saddens me that you decide to rationalize it with sexism instead of actually listening and extending with empathy in order to imagine what these situations are actually like.
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