(Opinion) Are Camgirls Morally Obligated To Disclose Their Relationship Status?

[Seawajohn]

Recent events have made me ponder the nature of ethics and morals between a model and her members. I'm trying to play both sides of this, and see it from both the members side and the models side.

Should camgirls be completely truthful and honest whether or not they have a boyfriend or husband? Should she disclose the information to everyone openly, or only to members who ask and who are significantly contributing to her overall income?
A reasonable argument is that a cam girl is a fantasy actress, and that she is selling an experience, not reality. A great actress never breaks character during her performance. A cam model is seen as selling her persona. On the other hand, members become emotionally fond of their favorite camgirl and learn a lot about her life. They feel a bond, a closeness, and even loved. She makes him feel like the only man in the world for her. When a member finds out she is married, a sense of trust is shattered, and feelings of betrayal set in. I can imagine a member who truly felt a connection, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars, to discover it was all a lie is utterly heart breaking.

Let's be honest, many women in the sex industry lie. They lie about their age, they lie about the real name, they lie about where the live. What's one more lie such as being single? Everything is protected behind a persona. Or should models be completely honest right out the gate? Or should they be honest with their top tippers? I can see why a model would want to appear single, because the fantasy of being attainable is very alluring and profitable.

I believe cam sites are a powerful example of something called parasocial relationships. With camming, it becomes more interactive and lines blur. So, I'll open for discussion. I'm eager to hear what you all think.

 

[Nigerian Prince]

There is nothing to discuss, this is a terrible question.

 

[MarieElise]

Recent events have made me ponder the nature of ethics and morals between a model and her members. I'm trying to play both sides of this, and see it from both the members side and the models side.

Should camgirls be completely truthful and honest whether or not they have a boyfriend or husband? Should she disclose the information to everyone openly, or only to members who ask and who are significantly contributing to her overall income?
A reasonable argument is that a cam girl is a fantasy actress, and that she is selling an experience, not reality. A great actress never breaks character during her performance. A cam model is seen as selling her persona. On the other hand, members become emotionally fond of their favorite camgirl and learn a lot about her life. They feel a bond, a closeness, and even loved. She makes him feel like the only man in the world for her. When a member finds out she is married, a sense of trust is shattered, and feelings of betrayal set in. I can imagine a member who truly felt a connection, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars, to discover it was all a lie is utterly heart breaking.

Let's be honest, many women in the sex industry lie. They lie about their age, they lie about the real name, they lie about where the live. What's one more lie such as being single? Everything is protected behind a persona. Or should models be completely honest right out the gate? Or should they be honest with their top tippers? I can see why a model would want to appear single, because the fantasy of being attainable is very alluring and profitable.

I believe cam sites are a powerful example of something called parasocial relationships. With camming, it becomes more interactive and lines blur. So, I'll open for discussion. I'm eager to hear what you all think.

They are not selling a relationship. So no, of course not. Any cam customer would have to be pretty slow not to realize the number of men a cam girl must see to make a living. That's just math. We are selling sex, nothing else. I agree that this is a terrible question, and not, and never would be your business.

Nowhere on any cam site is a viewer promised a relationship. Quite the opposite, they are promised discretion and sexual titillation.

As I've said a million times, viewers are buying time with us, and sexual services/ release. We are humans. We are not for sale like a fricken car would be! And you're most certainly not getting a damn carfax. Jesus!

ETA; Also what annoys me is people talking like "love" or caring for other people can only be between 2 people. Where do so many people get this idea that as humans, none of us are capable of loving or caring for more than one person at a time? To me, that attitude is where a lot of this crap comes from, and it comes from a mentality of ownership, which is not the same as love. Although I've noticed that many immature people do tend to confuse the two.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Well of course we're not gonna tell our real names. It's nobody's business, and can be dangerous anyway to be giving out personal info. Relationship status and all that other stuff you mentioned is nobody's business either, and it's absurd for any cam site member to believe they're entitled to that information. Whether you're one of her regulars/best tippers or not...it doesn't matter. None of you are owed that personal information about us.

 

[GothHostess]

 

[WickedTouch]

Recent events have made me ponder the nature of ethics and morals between a model and her members. I'm trying to play both sides of this, and see it from both the members side and the models side.

Should camgirls be completely truthful and honest whether or not they have a boyfriend or husband? Should she disclose the information to everyone openly, or only to members who ask and who are significantly contributing to her overall income?

No. A thousand times No! No member has the right, nor even the need to know the relationship status of a model. Camland is a place where fantasy rules apply. They are not dating sites. Members should know this and understand what it means. As a member, I see it this way... a cam model's relationship status is not ever going to be my business, not now, not ever. I do not care, nor do I need to know. It is not up for discussion., no matter how much any member tips.

 

[englishmuffins]

Models are not obligated to state any personal information about themselves or their private lives. It is that simple.

Members who blur the lines of fantasy/emotion and business fall into this “heartbreak” scenario when they find out about a models relationship status. And that is no fault of the model. I think members should be more cognizant of of their emotions and what they are paying for and maintain realistic expectations.

Realistic expectations:
- a model not giving her personal information to you or any member because of safety reasons.
- possibility that she or he may have a partner.
- models have personal lives and are allowed to have one.
- cam sites are not dating sites. Do not get emotionally invested like it is one.

I also want to highlight your comment about models lying. Many sites state that we are not allowed to exchange personal information with members. You call it lying, we call it protection.

 

[bamdicted]

of course not, and if you have jealousy issues cam sites probably is not for you.

 

[Diana_Devil]

I cant answer to this post without screaming so i will just keep my mouth

and my fingers

just as a simple guide next time when you go on a cam site use it for this

only ! and pay for the performers time that raised cock and emptyed your balls

 

[schruti]

A hen is the egg's tool to create another egg.

A man is the sperm's tool to replicate its genome, thus it wants the man to become a father as often as possible, and here exclusivity is important: The chance of becoming a father of a woman's baby decreases by the number of men who try the same. The illusion of exclusivity triggers hope and desire, and that's why webcam models sell that illusion.

That is why being a single sells better than being married, that is why private shows and ticket shows sell well even while 1000 other pretty models happily undress for free, that is why shy and nun-nude models find their clients: Our genes tell us that being one of thousand guys to see her naked may be fun, but being the first to see her shoulder is a promising step to be the father of her first baby.

Mentioning the fact that her husband has much better chances would destroy that illusion. The thread title can be answered with the more general question: Are webcam models morally obligated to destroy the illusions which are base of their business?

When asked that way, the obvious answer is: No.

 

[MallorieReese]

I really hope this question is a joke.
As a member, you are not entitled to know anything about the model's real life. Users already enjoy her for who she is while she is online - why is she supposed to bring any of her real life in this?

 

[Just_A_Guy]

I fail to understand how the relationship status of a seller or buyer of a product/service could represent an impediment of any sort to selling or purchasing said product/service. By your logic, cam models shouldn't accept money from their married members, either.

Also, there would be virtually no trade at all. For instance, why are you getting your coffee and buying your pizza around town from random women? Is your girl/wife aware of this? Do they ask you if you are married before getting your money? Do you get your coffee and pizza only from single women? And, most of all, why are you going around town getting your coffee and pizza from random women? Aren't you suppose to lie to your girl/wife and tell her how she makes the best coffee and pizza in town? My 2cents.

 

[Brit]

Morals aren't a black and white thing, they come in shades of grey and are subjective. Yes, there are certain morals that are more objective because they're good for the whole of society. Being honest and not lying is a big one that parents often instill into their child. But, as the child grows, they begin to learn that there is nuance there. There are some lies that are actually good for one's placement in society. For example, lying to protect a friend who could get into trouble. This deepens the bond between friends and allows them to have richer individual and interpersonal development because they will know that they have someone who will have their back. Another example is lying about oneself. Someone may be thrown into a new type of society so they hide who they really are as a protection against those who could otherwise hurt them. Most people respond to the question "how are you?" with something like "doing well, how about you?" even when they are not doing well. They do this to keep the peace, it's expected, it's comfortable.

Of course you could say that we should always be 100% honest, but it's just not possible in our current society to be so. Pure honesty can ostracize someone or even get them killed. Thus, people weigh how much a lie affects them. See, people don't like to lie. It's ingrained in us to be truthful. (Do note, I'm talking about your average person here) When someone chooses to lie, they're subconsciously choosing the "lesser of the 2 evils", if you will. Someone who holds specific religious beliefs will lie and hide those beliefs if they fear they will be persecuted for it. A gay person will hide being gay if in a country that criminalizes it. Someone may lie to their parent who has Alzheimer's. For many people, lying becomes a bit easier and yet also a bit harder. Easier to actually live the lie, but harder to live with oneself. I feel that this is why there are so many people in the entertainment industry who have some form of depression or other mental illness. These people are constantly presenting themselves as someone they are not and sometimes who they really are gets lost. But, I digress.

Hopefully you're able to see that lying is indeed okay and in fact, often needed if not only for the safety of oneself, but also for the betterment of another individual or even society as a whole. With this in mind, a cammodel often lies about certain things in order to protect themselves. Some lies are needed to protect them physically. Other lies protect them mentally. People above already discussed this. A viewer can also lie, but there is less of a risk for them so they often don't.

How does a lie about being in a relationship or not affect the viewer? Cammodels are a fantasy, entertainment, a form of escape from real life. Yes, of course we are also people and some do let more of their real selves shine through, but those real selves are still entertainment for a viewer. Some viewers like the idea of a cammodel who is single. Others like the idea that the model is taken. Models play into both fantasies regardless of their actual status because playing out viewers fantasies is part of the job. It becomes a problem when a viewer is unable to separate fantasy from reality. In most cases, this is not the model's fault. Yes, there are lovecons, but the vast majority of models don't engage with that. The onus is on the viewer to not become so attached that they feel they have a "claim" on the model. Finding out about a SO, or lack thereof, shouldn't change the working relationship between model and viewer. The viewer pays for entertainment. The model provides entertainment. It's really that simple.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

They are not selling a relationship.

Perfectly worded and said. And in such admirable, effective and concise way! Also I feel this is also true from a guy perspective. This is not absolutely what the all thing is about, and not only limited to the cam business. In fact, this is precisely the main reason: not to have a relationship. Otherwise, one would get himself a girlfriend. That is not to say that you can't have friendly relationships. My 2 cents.

 

[rockin_rod]

Come back April 1

 

[InannahQoH]

ETA; Also what annoys me is people talking like "love" or caring for other people can only be between 2 people. Where do so many people get this idea that as humans, none of us are capable of loving or caring for more than one person at a time? To me, that attitude is where a lot of this crap comes from, and it comes from a mentality of ownership, which is not the same as love. Although I've noticed that many immature people do tend to confuse the two.

Im 50+ and in Mensa..
I get these confused sigh..

 

[jaedev]

They're not even morally obligated to do anything you say even if you gave them tokens. There's not a verse in the Bible, an article in the Constitution or a line in the ToS stating they are morally obligated to do anything. Also I don't know what country you live in but the right to privacy applies in most developed nations

 

[InannahQoH]

Recent events have made me ponder the nature of ethics and morals between a model and her members. I'm trying to play both sides of this, and see it from both the members side and the models side.

Should camgirls be completely truthful and honest whether or not they have a boyfriend or husband? Should she disclose the information to everyone openly, or only to members who ask and who are significantly contributing to her overall income?
A reasonable argument is that a cam girl is a fantasy actress, and that she is selling an experience, not reality. A great actress never breaks character during her performance. A cam model is seen as selling her persona. On the other hand, members become emotionally fond of their favorite camgirl and learn a lot about her life. They feel a bond, a closeness, and even loved. She makes him feel like the only man in the world for her. When a member finds out she is married, a sense of trust is shattered, and feelings of betrayal set in. I can imagine a member who truly felt a connection, spending hundreds of thousands of dollars, to discover it was all a lie is utterly heart breaking.

Let's be honest, many women in the sex industry lie. They lie about their age, they lie about the real name, they lie about where the live. What's one more lie such as being single? Everything is protected behind a persona. Or should models be completely honest right out the gate? Or should they be honest with their top tippers? I can see why a model would want to appear single, because the fantasy of being attainable is very alluring and profitable.

I believe cam sites are a powerful example of something called parasocial relationships. With camming, it becomes more interactive and lines blur. So, I'll open for discussion. I'm eager to hear what you all think.

I dont lie to people i care about. At all.
I'd lie to people I don't care about though, as deemed needed, as often as needed, no problems.

 

[LittleLei]

No, plain and simple.

 

[Carmen_Monroe]

Yeah which girl doesn’t want a complete stranger from the internet as her boyfriend. Completely normal

 

[AudriTwo]

I do disclose my marriage but I understand why models don't and it's not because appearing single is more alluring and profitable.

I'm constantly asked;
Did I get my husband's approval to cam
Does he know
Is he turned on by all the dudes masturbating to me
Can he come on cam or make content with you
What is his penis size
His kinks
Intimate details of our sexlife
Do we swing
When is the divorce
Why can't he support me
ect.

It's hella annoying.

Let's be honest, many women in the sex industry lie. They lie about their age, they lie about the real name, they lie about where the live. What's one more lie such as being single? Everything is protected behind a persona. Or should models be completely honest right out the gate? Or should they be honest with their top tippers? I can see why a model would want to appear single, because the fantasy of being attainable is very alluring and profitable.

Sir, many patrons of the sex industry lie. They lie about their age, their penis size, their wealth, their sex life, their relationship status, purchasing content, or tipping. We don't lie because of some nefarious reason. The reason why models have personas, don't disclose their location, and don't use their real name is for safety. Sex workers are frequent targets of harassment and violence. Even online. There are people who do not value our privacy, safety, or lives.

Fuck your morality.

 

[Swen_o]

My real name is not Swen. Is that a lie? Swen is a character I play while camming on the Internet. While there are similarities between Swen and me, Swen just exists online. Swen is confident, a bit cocky, and 100% not shy or reserved in any way. The vanilla me could only hope to have the balls that Swen does. Maybe it's different for male models who cater to a male audience but I have never been asked of my relationship status or even asked much of my personal life. The guys I work for just don't seem to care. Getting back to the "lie" thing; I think of cam models like the cast in a movie. It's a role, and we are paid to play that role. Would you think that an actor is lying because he or she is playing a character who is married to someone in the movie but not married in real life? I sort of expect that most members have some kind of understanding about this. And, no, my actual relationship status is 100% not your business. Swen's not even sure what his relationship status is let alone sharing it with someone.

 

[AudriTwo]

Would you think that an actor is lying because he or she is playing a character

JULIA ROBERTS IS ERIN BROCKOVICH I TELL YA!

 

[Carmen_Monroe]

I do disclose my marriage but I understand why models don't and it's not because appearing single is more alluring and profitable.

I'm constantly asked;
Did I get my husband's approval to cam
Does he know
Is he turned on by all the dudes masturbating to me
Can he come on cam or make content with you
What is his penis size
His kinks
Intimate details of our sexlife
Do we swing
When is the divorce
Why can't he support me
ect.

It's hella annoying.


Sir, many patrons of the sex industry lie. They lie about their age, their penis size, their wealth, their sex life, their relationship status, purchasing content, or tipping. We don't lie because of some nefarious reason. The reason why models have personas, don't disclose their location, and don't use their real name is for safety. Sex workers are frequent targets of harassment and violence. Even online. There are people who do not value our privacy, safety, or lives.

Fuck your morality.

Agree 100%. Most viewers do not even notice what kind of sick messages we are getting or how obsessed members can get with camgirls. In the worst case, they don't understand „No“ or cannot distinguish fantasy from reality and you have a stalker in your life.

Therefore, I will not talk about my private life in front of the cam in the future and particularly stubborn users will be lied to or blocked to protect myself and my life. I make no secret of the fact that I am neither looking for a husband nor meeting. Anyone who doesn't understand that or thinks they could squeeze private information out of me like juice from a lemon,meets granite. It would be nice if the world were so great that we could be honest about our lifes and not have to be afraid of the consequences, but unfortunately it's not like that. We see it everyday on the news, sick people who destroy life’s because they can’t handle rejection, incels who hate women and particularly Sexworkers etc

I don't care how much token someone spends, they didn't buy ME with it, they bought a show on the Internet, entertainment and nothing more.

So cheers to all members who respect us as Sexworkers, tip us, compliment us,cum and maybe write a little „thank you“message and that's it.

 

[Brit]

A hen is the egg's tool to create another egg.

A man is the sperm's tool to replicate its genome, thus it wants the man to become a father as often as possible, and here exclusivity is important: The chance of becoming a father of a woman's baby decreases by the number of men who try the same. The illusion of exclusivity triggers hope and desire, and that's why webcam models sell that illusion.

That is why being a single sells better than being married, that is why private shows and ticket shows sell well even while 1000 other pretty models happily undress for free, that is why shy and nun-nude models find their clients: Our genes tell us that being one of thousand guys to see her naked may be fun, but being the first to see her shoulder is a promising step to be the father of her first baby.

Mentioning the fact that her husband has much better chances would destroy that illusion. The thread title can be answered with the more general question: Are webcam models morally obligated to destroy the illusions which are base of their business?

When asked that way, the obvious answer is: No.

I get your point, but I feel that you have a low opinion of humans if you think that we are unable to go against our most primal and basic instincts.

In fact, this is precisely the main reason: not to have a relationship. Otherwise, one would get himself a girlfriend.

I know of 2 men who have zero interest in having a girlfriend. One has been married, the other not, but they both have a "been there, done that" kind of attitude and it's just not interesting for them anymore. They do, however, enjoy the company of women and use cam sites/fan sites for this purpose. One has tried the sugar lifestyle, but it wasn't for him. The other has had flings, but ends up feeling bad that he can't give the woman what she really wants. I feel that cammodels provide a safe and extremely fulfilling experience for people like this. There are zero expectations other than I pay you and you show me a good time - the epitome of entertainment.

I get that people are often lonely so they develop unhealthy attachments, but I feel that having a forum such as this can help curb that loneliness and provide a gentle (or not so gentle) reality check in a safe space.

 

[nightwish]

in my opinion there are two kind of users:
- the one who doesn't give a shit about the model's life and just wanna have fun
- and the one who likes to dig into a model's life and try to uncover her secrets.

I noticed that many models get more open for telling you their lives when you are a good tipper and you ask for it. The more you hang out with them, talk with them, show interest in them, the more they give in. About the rule: thou shalt not reveal thyself, is not much left over after a while. Why do they do that? Are they afraid to loose these big tippers? Do they trust these people with that information? The question of course remains, is it all true what they say? i don't know, but keeping up a lie over and over again is sometimes hard to do.

i see above everybody saying, no you can not say anything about your live, that's the rule. But imagine tomorrow your income depends on a few good tippers, guys you think you can trust because they visited your room so frequently and you talked to them so often, if they would ask you these questions, wouldn't you answer them or would you still refuse to talk about it, even if you know, they probably loose interest in you and leave?

 

[dark_mermaid]

Generally no.

I can understand some confusion for users though. As a studio model I totally "sold" a relationship. I was just told by my manager that this is what all models do and I believed it.

 

[schruti]

I get your point, but I feel that you have a low opinion of humans if you think that we are unable to go against our most primal and basic instincts.

Thanks for pointing that out.

First, as you mention, many humans are actually interested in other topics. That applies to me, too. I used to search for boobs on Chaturbate long time ago. While still happily watching them, these days I usually focus on other aspects of a model's room.

And more principal, I do not consider basic instincts anything low. I just try to understand why I and many other men dedicate a lot of their attention to women. I also don't consider it low to like food a lot, even more than needed, because there were times at which eating enough food to become a bit fat was the simplest way to survive times of low food supply. I don't consider it low to believe in gods or other invisible monsters, even though nobody needs them in a society defined by humans, because I guess there were times during which populations survived because the people imagined gods who would see and punish bad actions like killing the neighbor. The way I behave is driven by genes which long time ago were useful, and luckily most of them still are useful, and some are less useful now, but they are part of me, and I don't feel low using them, even if my brain sometimes tells I completely waste my efforts.

Lewdness, obesity and religion are part of my human heritage, not high, not low, just something that probably was more useful in the past than it's now.

 

[AudriTwo]

I noticed that many models get more open for telling you their lives when you are a good tipper and you ask for it. The more you hang out with them, talk with them, show interest in them, the more they give in. About the rule: thou shalt not reveal thyself, is not much left over after a while. Why do they do that? Are they afraid to loose these big tippers? Do they trust these people with that information? The question of course remains, is it all true what they say? i don't know, but keeping up a lie over and over again is sometimes hard to do.

maybe that large tipper bought that information? there are models who monetize their personal life. hell, we've seen models share images of her kids with whales. it's like the member reached some sort of special member tier list. everyone has their own limits on what they are and aren't comfortable with sharing. there are also models who do some pretty risky stuff because she or the studio can exploit that.

for me, im pretty private but some of my long-term regs know a lot more about me than the normal john, because they spent enough time and learned information about me.

i see above everybody saying, no you can not say anything about your live, that's the rule. But imagine tomorrow your income depends on a few good tippers, guys you think you can trust because they visited your room so frequently and you talked to them so often, if they would ask you these questions, wouldn't you answer them or would you still refuse to talk about it, even if you know, they probably loose interest in you and leave?

models shouldn't rely on a few good tippers because those tippers will eventually go away and then you are shit out of luck.

also, this scenario screams exploitive. these few good tippers sound like absolute shit if the model is scared they are going to leave if they don't divulge their private information. if those models were here i'd encourage them to try to expand their audience, and why they shouldnt rely on a few tippers. also the importance of creating boundaries.

 

[Carmen_Monroe]

in my opinion there are two kind of users:
- the one who doesn't give a shit about the model's life and just wanna have fun
- and the one who likes to dig into a model's life and try to uncover her secrets.

I noticed that many models get more open for telling you their lives when you are a good tipper and you ask for it. The more you hang out with them, talk with them, show interest in them, the more they give in. About the rule: thou shalt not reveal thyself, is not much left over after a while. Why do they do that? Are they afraid to loose these big tippers? Do they trust these people with that information? The question of course remains, is it all true what they say? i don't know, but keeping up a lie over and over again is sometimes hard to do.

i see above everybody saying, no you can not say anything about your live, that's the rule. But imagine tomorrow your income depends on a few good tippers, guys you think you can trust because they visited your room so frequently and you talked to them so often, if they would ask you these questions, wouldn't you answer them or would you still refuse to talk about it, even if you know, they probably loose interest in you and leave?

If they loose interest in me because I refuse to share my personal information with them, screw them seriously. Absolutely shitty behavior to to put a model under such pressure to loose money if she’s not whiling to share her private life with a member, whether the member does it intentionally or unintentionally.

If the model doesn't have a problem with that, that's up to her. Every model has a different limit when it comes to sharing personal information. I just don't think anyone has the right to put pressure on me to share anything private, no matter how much tip they give.I just don't trust strangers on the internet, and members can play a nice role too.

I also agree that you should never rely on a couple of good tippers. Most good tippers don't stay forever or loose interest at some point, now matter how much they tipped you before or how much information you shared with them. Maybe their wife found out, they loose their jobs, find a girlfriend or a new model gets more juice out of their cock. Sometimes they just get bored of camsites. But that's the way it is, the members are free, just like me.