Not good enough? Jealous of other Camgirls...

[Carmen_Monroe]

Hi

How do I start ... I've been camming since February this year and always feel more as if I'm too bad for this or not pretty enough. I work on a site where you can also sell videos. No matter what I do or how much effort I put into it, none of my videos has been shown in the top videos so far. But of course there are always new girls coming and I have to see that these girls are promoted from the side on instagram and their videos immediately become top videos and they are also quite high up among the top models.

So far it has happened more and more that I cried and wondered why these new girls are promoted so strongly. I think that I am not beautiful enough or actually not interesting at all. I don't fake anything unlike many others there, make videos that I enjoy with real orgasms. What else should I say? it just hurts. No matter how much effort I make, it is hardly noticed and then new girls come along, do what everyone else does and are immediately the top models.I make myself pretty for the cam every day, wear make-up, have HD quality in my stream and recently even bought good video light. I also always have sound on and greet every user who comes into my stream and I’m nice and cute.

I'm sorry if I sound bitchy, but seeing every day that everything you do is actually hardly rewarded just hurts. My earnings are not exactly the best either, they are between 500 € / 900 € so far.

It's just nice to be able to write about it, because all of this is really something that is very stressful for me.

 

[Beawaresweety]

I'm sorry to hear the things
are going that way for you
but jealousy is a poison.

All models get a fantastic periods and a terrible ones.
Camming may be pretty unstable
even for a highly experienced cam-girls.

You're a brand new model
in the eyes of the community.

Many models
have been working HARD
for months and years
to reach some point of success.

You never know
what's left behind the scenes.
You never know
if those models are really new ones
and not those who rebrand.

At the end of the day,
some models get popular quickly
but their freshness wears off
pretty quickly too
if they don't put enough effort
into building, stabilizing and improving.

And your resentment and bitterness towards other, more successful models
won't help you to get more popular,
earn more or become happier.
It isn't their fault that you've been struggling.

And your position "I'm not like everyone else,
I'm genuine and my orgasms are real"
is pretty silly and somewhat off-putting.
Especially considering
that you came to the forum FULL OF MODELS.

Again, you never know
if their orgasms are fake.
You never know how much effort they put
into invisible things to make it work.

I'm not a top model.
I think camming allows me
to live comfy enough.
It has become real
because I've been building up
my business for YEARS.

But I don't have any resentment
or bitterness towards
more successful models.
Moreover, I support them here and there.
It's none of my business
how much they earn.
I always give them the benefit of the doubt
and assume that they're popular
because they're working hard,
because they deserved their places.

And I mostly visit other models
only to tip them for showing appreciation,
to spend a few fancy minutes in their rooms,
to get some inspiration
and, finally, to move on.

I don't have so much of spare time
to follow every step of other models
to know exactly how successful they're at sales,
what kind of content
they're currently offering and so on.

I've got my own business to mind and to work on.

It's something I'd recommend
you to think about.

No hate. Just your obsession over other models' earnings is leading you to nowhere.
You'll be feeling sad and desperate constantly
if you don't stop looking at others
and beating yourself up
for "not being pretty enough"
while making silly assumptions
about fakery of other models' orgasms.

You can't be the master and the slave at the same time.
You can't beat yourself up
for not being pretty enough
and beat other models up
for not being as genuine as you,
all at once.
Do you get what I mean?

You're genuine? Your orgasms are real?
Perfect!
Show it to YOUR POTENTIAL CUSTOMERS.
Show it just the way it is,
promote it like crazy.
But don't compare yourself to other models
in the front of members.
That is a poor etiquette and may leave
a bad taste in their mouth.
And don't compare yourself
to others in your head.

I know it's hard.
I know you're feeling upset.
But you matter.
Use the best and the strongest sides of your personality
to make it work.
And try out a new site
if your current one continues
to make you feel that way.

Just please,
don't bash other models
for being more successful than you.

This forum is a safe and a friendly environment for models and members.
I honestly don't want to read
some shit about models here,
at very least.
Especially coming from other model.

Support the community
and give back to the community
how much and when you want/can.
There's already enough negativity in this world.

That's it.

 

[lovelylaura]

I have been a model for 1.5 years. It has never been stable for me. It is a roller coaster ride for me each day I cam, yet at the end of the day I do ok. I am not a top model, my room stays relatively small, but you can still do decent with a small room count. I watch other models on occasion but it has never benefited me. All it has done for me is create more anxiety and made me doubt my abilities. I would advise not spending a lot of time watching other models. It is difficult not to do—but I think in the long run you will be happier if you just focus on YOU. And being the best YOU —you can be.

 

[Smoothie]

I’m not a model, but your point about comparing yourself to others is pretty universal. I struggle with it too, in my own career/life.

What I learned over time is that if you constantly aspire to be what someone else is, the best you’ll ever be is a good imitation of someone else. When you walk behind others, the view never changes.

It’s not easy, but the best thing is to put that energy into your own uniqueness and avoid holding yourself to a made-up standard of what some other model looks like, or the size of her room, etc. Again, I struggle with this sometimes myself, so I hope I don’t come across too preachy. I can relate.

 

[AudriTwo]

I made an old thread about this: https://www.ambercutie.com/forums/threads/jealous-of-other-cammodels.34109/

I was gonna reply to this thread because it became clear that it was a model jealous of another's earnings. even though this whole thread can be quite amusing and silly. the OP has had hard time camming, and that isn't laughable. i'm sure we can all relate to that struggle. figured it would be better to continue the conversation elsewhere. that thread got toxic.

many of us have been at some low point or currently are. but you cannot blame anyone else for you not earning how you expected. you might do the same exact thing 16 other popular/successful earners do, have the same look and type, check all the boxes, but it other members are more interested in them then with you. does that mean there is something wrong with you? are those girls cheating? are they giving away too much for free which makes it hard for the rest of us trying to make a countdown? these thoughts are normal, and should never feel guilty for having these thoughts. it's how we rationalize them and act on them.

even if you put in all the work, and it isn't paying off. that's okay. this is a saturated and competitive profession that requires a lot of luck. if you are feeling discouraged, the best thing to do is focus 100% on yourself. do not worry what other people are doing. if you find yourself getting bitter or coming up with conclusions why others are making more, you have to take step back. if a model isn't deliberately trying to harm your reputation, you shouldn't even be worried about them or bothered what they are doing.

i used to struggle so freaking much. i would obsess over how models looked so much better than me because my bdd was incredibly hindering my confidence. i would look at other models around my placement and if they were doing gold shows around me, i wouldn't even dare to start one or would cancel it if i saw others tipping into one model than myself. i was convinced models were doing shady things when they really weren't. the only way i could change my attitude was not to care about other models. stop looking at others while i get ready or watching what others are doing when it gets slow. i legit feel awful that i have no idea what someone looks like on cam or what they are like if I do not interact with them on twitter or acf. i know how destructive i can be towards myself.

took a while to recognize my jealously was hindering my camming success. after my attitude adjustment, i started earning more. it wasn't a lot more, but I gradually started to earn more and more each month. with what i experience, confident to say a lot of the success was changing me and looking how i was affecting myself.

 

[Marceline]

You can be beautiful, interesting, smart, etc, but that doesn’t automatically guarantee your success in this industry. If you’re not making the money you want, if you’re not getting the popularity you want, change up what you are doing. Offer new types of content and shows. Brainstorming ideas and putting them into action is a much better use of your time than watching what other models are doing or worrying over their rank or how much they make. If you continuously reinvent your brand and despite trying multiple different styles or types of shows and content without reaching your desired level of success, then maybe this industry is not for you. And that’s perfectly okay. This job is definitely not for everyone. It’s hard, mentally, physically and even creatively.

And insinuating that other girls who do well from the get go aren’t genuine is not helpful. It just perpetuates the catty, mean girl, cut throat stereotype that is associated with female dominated industries.

Side note: @Beawaresweety , your new writing style reminds me of Charles Bukowski’s style of poetry and I’m low key here for it, haha.

 

[Beawaresweety]

Side note: @Beawaresweety , your new writing style reminds me of Charles Bukowski’s style of poetry and I’m low key here for it, haha.

1 New Character Achieved.

Sending my digital hugs

 

[Danigirl]

Your biggest holdback is probably your attitude tbh. You're putting out a negative vibe and whenever I cam with one I always make way less. Doesn't matter if you're drop dead gorgeous and perfectly fit or the woman next door who is maybe a 6. Ive seen tons of hot girls not do well because that's all they rely on. I've also seen what some would consider average do awesome. You have to have personality or a specialized niche at least. Do not compare yourself with other models or put them down. That's just bad karma. When I see other models doing awesome, it's inspiring not jealousy inducing. There's plenty of money to be had camming. Find your niche, find your tribe. If you can't handle it you shouldn't be camming in the first place. It's a rough gig if you don't have the right fit.

 

[chopper_daddy]

I moderate for my wife and have been a big part of her career as a cam model. Being on the sidelines and watching the dynamic of viewers as well as broadcasters, it has become quite clear to me that looks are not what matter in this industry. There is always going to be an audience for you no matter what you look like. What I've noticed to be the most important is personality, uniqueness & attitude. Don't worry about the other girls.. be yourself and push yourself through the tough times. You will always come out on top. Might be a good idea to look into how you can promote yourself a bit more on your own. There are plenty of avenues for you to achieve this. Although I'm not a cam model, I can relate to you in a general sense. Navigating a new industry can be tough. There's something called "imposter syndrome" that starts and ends with self confidence -- only you can change that. Quit being so hard on yourself and keep pushing through the tough times.

My 2cents.

 

[MarieElise]

Since Feb this year? So since covid 19? First off I would not expect to make much in your first 6 mos, but even more so since covid. Lots of people who cannot strip anymore, and various other folks out of work, and stuck at home, have entered the market. It seems competition between new models, is likely at an all time high.

You have to be patient and build a following. I have been doing this 6 years, and other than models that I interact with here, and on Twitter, I don't go to other model's rooms. Once in awhile I tip, but I do not watch their shows. It becomes too easy to compare and come up with less (or down on yourself). I also fear, that, that would lead to subconsciously copycatting style etc. I have read a few totally useless (unhelpful) blogs about how to be a cam model. However, the one blog that I have found invaluable over the long term, was one I read by Larkin Love (aka Lexi Larkin), several years ago. She talks about finding what is individual about you, and marketing that. It is great, GREAT advice. I also read a post on another forum, about how there is only one of us. Like we are our individual brand, and in reality there is no competition in that, if we focus on being our true, and unique selves. I am probably not wording that the best, but I hope you understand what I mean.

I would link the blog post by Larkin Love. but it was years ago, and bookmarked on an old (now dead) computer. So I only have my memories of it. It was something along the lines of marketing yourself, based on what's unique about you. Honestly, I would check out anything written by her though. She does great, GREAT write-ups, to help other models.

Please don't spy on other models and judge them. That is extremely off-putting, and a great way to continue on a downward spiral. I cannot speak from experience, as I have literally never done that. However, I have read lots of forum posts, by others who have (on various forums), and I've seen that it never seems to lead anywhere positive. Best to focus on you, and do you.

ETA; If you are wanting to learn more about Fetishes etc, I suggest working on a pvt based site too, where many of the guys will teach you. I did that, and set lower prices to begin. I spent my first 6 months being "taught"/ assisted by people who had various fetishes, on what it is, that they liked. That gave me a lot of confidence. Then you can also research the content,t or general themes of clips which are selling well. This can support confidence in learning more about a fetish scenario, then putting your unique flavor on it. Just don't sell yourself ridiculously cheap, because there are super sleazy, parasitic guys, who target new models too. From the getgo have strong boundaries, while simultaneously being somewhat open-minded (within your personal limits), and willing to learn. But I cannot emphasize enough, how great most of the writing by Larkin Love, aimed toward assisting other models is. I have followed a lot of it, and I am super happy, and as successful, and known, as I want to be (for 6 years now).

 

[CheeseMoon]

[...] it has become quite clear to me that looks are not what matter in this industry.

I can attest to this, although purely from my own point of view as a user. Personality and "room vibe" is what makes me stay, tip and come back. If the model is at least reasonably groomed, the rest isn't really too important.

Maybe it sounds daft, but "I like it here" and "This is fun!" is the sexiest thing in the world.

 

[diasysmith101]

I do watch shows from time to time, but usually the more popular girls just so i can laugh at what is happening in the chats.
I am also a newer model and find that when I'm not super bubbly and 'silly' then I don't make as much.

 

[Carmen_Monroe]

Hey guys

I totally forgot that I started this thread and when i just read it again i was ashamed of myself. I just want to make it clear, that i was never rude to another model or was in a room other than mine (i work on a private based site). I probably just hung around too much on social media and to be honest, had a pretty hard day back then (an argument with my boyfriend and then a very bad camming day) and probably “dumped” my stress here and unfairly on the back of other models.

I've even made friends with a top model and we chat every now and then and support each other when we have had a bad day in front of the cam. However, I still do my best and try to compare myself less. I mean I know that I’m not the best but i managed to build a small group of regulars that appreciate me an like me for me! and that feels awesome !Thank you all for your great advice and of course I would also like to apologize for my post. I hope you will forgive me that I was just in a very bad mood that day when I write that mean stuff

 

[hotlinemiamilive]

It's still a good post for new model to read, though! Especially during this time when camgirl saturation is at an all-time high. Many girls really don't see that their attitudes change when they start comparing themselves to other models. At the end of the day, you're only competing against yourself.