Need advice badly - Nice to meet you all :)

[SatanJonez]

This doesn't add up at all.

You're terrified of an abusive partner & instead of Googling how to safely escape, resources in your area or websites that could help you I'm guessing you Googled "cam girls" or "how to become a cam girl" & ended up here. And you think you getting these plastic surgeries would help you get out? If he IS an abusive partner he likely already has his hooks in your bank account/money, if you suddenly DID go back to camming with the things you think would make you a star cam girl and start making the amount of money that would take to get away what is to stop him from spending it/holding it hostage? Abusers are notorious for making sure the victim doesn't have access to/means to get away. Controlling the money, who they interact with, any means of escape they can see, etc.

You need help, not a boob job. Get the fuck away & restart your life in a healthy, safe environment. It's going to be hard as fuck and extremely dangerous if he is as bad as you say, but when you've already stated the only way you can see this ending is in death I'd say it's worth it to go through all the shit & come out of the other side alive.

http://www.thehotline.org/
http://www.thehotline.org/resources/victims-and-survivors/#tab-id-1
https://www.domesticshelters.org/

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Some background: I've escaped my abusive partner 4 years ago. He was a violent drug addict/dealer who was definitely capable of killing me. He financially, sexually, physically and emotionally abused me. I cannot fathom desperately feeling the need to make plastic surgery priority one. I was more concerned on how to I was going to keep me and my cat safe after he would threaten to kill us. Now some simple points I want to make:

--It IS possible to cam and make amazing money without plastic surgery, I understand insecurity my weight has yo-yoed up and down since I started camming. Plastic surgery does NOT promise big money. And if it doesn't end up paying off itself from camming--that is really going to suck. You could be setting yourself up for an even more dire financial situation.

--This is a forum. Nothing is more annoying than a pissing contest over who has the worst life. Don't be so fast to block out good advice by a community who actually HAS assisted in helping models get away from abusive partners by saying we can't all possibly understand you. We ALL have shit.

--Did you ask for advice or for people to agree with you/coddle you? I have yet to see anyone be rude to you.

--Saying "karma is a bitch"=wishing bad karma on people is actually...well...bad for YOUR own karma ironically.

 

[Guy]

Some background: I've escaped my abusive partner 4 years ago. He was a violent drug addict/dealer who was definitely capable of killing me. He financially, sexually, physically and emotionally abused me. I cannot fathom desperately feeling the need to make plastic surgery priority one. I was more concerned on how to I was going to keep me and my cat safe after he would threaten to kill us. Now some simple points I want to make:

--It IS possible to cam and make amazing money without plastic surgery, I understand insecurity my weight has yo-yoed up and down since I started camming. Plastic surgery does NOT promise big money. And if it doesn't end up paying off itself from camming--that is really going to suck. You could be setting yourself up for an even more dire financial situation.

--This is a forum. Nothing is more annoying than a pissing contest over who has the worst life. Don't be so fast to block out good advice by a community who actually HAS assisted in helping models get away from abusive partners by saying we can't all possibly understand you. We ALL have shit.

--Did you ask for advice or for people to agree with you/coddle you? I have yet to see anyone be rude to you.

--Saying "karma is a bitch"=wishing bad karma on people is actually...well...bad for YOUR own karma ironically.

I'm sorry to hear that you had an abusive partner.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

....it is killing me and I am fading fast.

Why do I read shit like this?

I swear, some days I think I need constant supervision.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

I have a couple questions...that maybe you haven't thought of...or have.

Your partner is crazy and abusive...yet...you want to risk camming and hiding that and money from him? How?

Additionally how is he not going to notice a windfall of money and you having a boob job and tummy tuck? Like..how would he not see that?

If your health is so bad that you are dying how are you going to survive said surgery? Will a doctor even advise or allow that?

Lastly camming is a very physically demanding job...how is that going to work with your health issues?

I think these are things you should think about while making any decisions. Or you know....just things that don't make sense from an outsiders perspective.

 

[CrazyCatLady]

I don't WANT to leave?????? You must be high.

Tell me.....what do you know about connective tissue disorders? Nothing? So you are speaking with no actual knowledge and judging based on a couple of paragraphs I kept as short as I could so as not to write a novel.

Maybe you just have zero understanding of my reality. Not shocking.

I'm out. All I asked for was to be pointed in the right direction or for some options that I had not thought of after, again, being out of the game for over a decade. And again, so sorry that my research went into my HEALTH to get a CD after years of drs making me worse being clueless. And that I researched the hell out of other non industry jobs as I would prefer that. I just figured since I had a history in the industry long ago that maybe there would be some options for me that more knowledgeable people in the industry could point me to. Sorry I didn't write my whole life story. And if you think that this is the ONLY option I am researching and considering you would be wrong there too.

Mistake coming here.

Have fun being judgemental. Hopefully you won't ever have to understand firsthand. Peace.
I

I like research as well...and with your health issues it doesn't seem like you are even a candidate for surgery. Have you considered this?

 

[mickerd]

Even for 100% healthy people with lots of money cosmetic surgeries take a lot of time & planning etc. You might want to focus on the immediate major concern, protecting your life/safety.

You need to get the husband to stop the violence by either leaving, or find someone some relative or friend or somebody to kick his ass. Violence solving violence is usually a poor decision but you need to put a stop to it right now, not later.

 

[EspiKvlt]

I don't think just having someone kick his ass will do anything besides make him angrier and more violent.

 

[mickerd]

I don't think just having someone kick his ass will do anything besides make him angrier and more violent.

Yeah you are probably right, as much as he certainly deserves a thorough asskicking, there are likely better choices that could be made.

 

[Guy]

Yeah you are probably right, as much as he certainly deserves a thorough asskicking, there are likely better choices that could be made.

Like getting the police involved.

 

[Bimbombastic]

Will surprise me if she comes back to answer. It just feels like this person(we can't verify the gender, all we have is their own words) was trying to bring some sob story here to get some money. We don't know if is truly a woman in despair and(not sorry) delusions and immature to think that cosmetic surgeries will grant her a new life. Because if is truly a woman being abused and thinking she needs to be pretty instead of being SAFE, you have to be a piece of special work.

I do think this is a scam and the person was hoping to get something from the male audience here because here is a site where nude girls chit chat with clients, so they probably give money to them.

Give me a break.

And sorry if I come as harsh, but I HATE feeling like I saw an attempt for scamming good hardworking people like the people in the sex industry and their patrons. If you really are a woman(and no I don't need any proof, what would this change??), it's time to grow up mentally, put your shit together and instead of begging for plastic surgery online with such a sob story(which also bothered me because I DID lived something like that real bad and I hate to feel like someone is using it to make money out of good people) GO SAVE YOURSELF AND YOUR DOG, even if hurts to leave he dog with someone else, do it. The dog's wellness is also in jeopardy, for F's sake! You staying there in that situation and begging for plastic surgery online is just pathetic and selfish to both YOU and YOUR dog.

Now come to wish bad karma for me.

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Stop being so defensive, and accept the help being given that you asked for and change something in your life. It's up to you to make a move. Or don't, but that would be a poor choice. But either way, lashing out at the people who have been willing to respond to your sob story isn't going to do you any good.

 

[NickT]

Keep in mind that camming is not a sure way to make a living. Regardless of your body type, there's no guarantee that you would make enough to live on. There are things you can do to improve your chances, but even then it could not work out. Look at some of the lower-rated models on the various cam sites. You'll likely see many that are beautiful and interesting, but for whatever reason they haven't been able to connect to the audience and are struggling to make money. It could easily be the case that you'll take months to raise the money for surgery and be in recovery, and then not still not be able to make a living on cam.

Camming could still be a long-term goal for you, but it should be very long term. Getting surgery and camming is *not* going to help you get out of the situation you're in. In the short-term, talk to the social services in your area to see what you qualify for. You may be able to get disability and a housing allowance to help you get out of your apartment and into your own place.

 

[Wade W Wilson]

Bimbombastic said it pretty damn well but I still have to throw in my two cents.

This doesn't add up. So I will now be that bad guy that I know so many of you are a little too nice to be. I'm not the commenter this thread deserves, just the one it needs right now.

1. -Problem: Crippling medical issue

-Planned solution: Avoid "the system" and get back into camming to make money for treatment and to escape problem number 2, the abusive husband.

-Evaluation: It sounds like there are many options to seek treatment though some are apparently off the table by choice. Elective surgery with a severe pre-existing medical condition is a bad idea and will only put your health at further risk.

2. -Problem: Husband is abusive to the point that you legitimately fear for your life.

-Planned Solution: Following expensive and dangerous elective surgery and recovery from it, begin camming again to make enough money to escape violent spouse.

-Evaluation: DESPITE FEARING FOR YOUR LIFE, seeking rescue at a shelter is not an option because you CAN'T BRING YOUR DOG?!? If it is life or death you leave, even if you have no plan you leave, you go to the police, you go to whoever you can and figure things out from there. You certainly don't try to lay a guilt trip people offering you advice becasue they don't get it becasue they have never been where you are now.

3 -Problem: You self diagnosed your disease after the doctors could not thanks to your amazing research skills.

-Planned Solution: Doesn't apply in this point

-Evaluation: You self diagnosed what doctors with at least 8 years of medial education and training could not. Yet you need help finding the verified models sticky at the top of the main forum page? I don't buy that for a second and neither should anyone else.


Overall...

You show up unverified, claiming to be a former model, you present your tale of sadness and tribulation sharing your plan on how to rectify your problems. You will solve your income troubles by getting elective surgery that you can't afford, on top of a serious medical condition. So that you will be able to provide for yourself enough to leave your abusive husband whom you fear might kill you. Escape now is out of the question despite all of the options available, police, shelters, and why? Because you can't take your dog? If you truly felt your life was at that great a risk it should take more than a pet to override your natural instinct for self preservation. Most importantly, you have resisted attempts to help you, often responding with defensive arguments that merely reemphasize your difficult situation almost as though you were piling it on looking for pity. One thing I don't agree with that others have said is that you are looking for a magic solution to fix all your problems. No, what I think you are looking for is for some soft heated sap to read your sob story and send you money.

If you are legit then you need to go to the police or a shelter and get help, a dog is not worth your life. No answer here can fix the problems you seem to have. But until you become verified here and let these women help you and take their advice, a reasonable person could only assume from what you have written and the tone you have taken, that you are simply running a scam, posting a sad story in hopes that some foolish white knight will send you cash.

I highly doubt your story and yes, I am judging you, you cried for help, people tried, and you resisted, like you were waiting for another answer, waiting for that cash donor.


And if any of the others here feel I'm being too harsh, that's fine. This person could be telling the truth and simply have horrible decision making abilities, but even that seems unlikely if their story is to be believed. All I ask is that before you shake your head and assume I'm just some heartless dick being cruel on the internet, just take one more read through this thread and think about the things I mentioned. This entire story doesn't fit together, reading through it you can hear that voice in your head saying that something sounds off and I can tell from some of the responses that others feel the same. They're just too nice to not give the original poster the benefit of the doubt. So I'll be that guy. Anything is possible, but I would be incredibly surprised if this is anything other than a poorly thought out scam.

 

[NickT]

I highly doubt your story and yes, I am judging you, you cried for help, people tried, and you resisted, like you were waiting for another answer, waiting for that cash donor.

All the evidence can lead to that conclusion, but I am leaning towards believing her because of an experience I had with a friend. This friend said she couldn't hold onto a job because of anxiety and was running out of money. Her solution to her money problem was to ask friends for $1000 so she could take computer classes and then get a job at the Apple store. Obviously, there are many holes in this plan, like how to pay for rent and food while taking classes, how she would deal with her anxiety in the Apple store, and even if she could get hired in the first place after just taking a few computer classes. I'm fairly certain my friend wasn't trying to run a scam. She really believed one semester of community college classes was the solution to her problem of not having any money.

Just like the OP, my friend had firmly latched onto a long-term solution to her short-term problem. Regardless of whether it's a good plan, it won't help the current situation and will redirect resources and energy away from a solution which could really help.

 

[AmberCutie]

All the evidence can lead to that conclusion, but I am leaning towards believing her because of an experience I had with a friend. This friend said she couldn't hold onto a job because of anxiety and was running out of money. Her solution to her money problem was to ask friends for $1000 so she could take computer classes and then get a job at the Apple store. Obviously, there are many holes in this plan, like how to pay for rent and food while taking classes, how she would deal with her anxiety in the Apple store, and even if she could get hired in the first place after just taking a few computer classes. I'm fairly certain my friend wasn't trying to run a scam. She really believed one semester of community college classes was the solution to her problem of not having any money.

Just like the OP, my friend had firmly latched onto a long-term solution to her short-term problem. Regardless of whether it's a good plan, it won't help the current situation and will redirect resources and energy away from a solution which could really help.

Maybe not a total scam, but in both situations, they should likely be searching out some therapy/mental help vs. a boob job/apple store job.

 

[AmberCutie]

OP isn't returning it looks like, this thread has run its course.