Models- advice for brushing off the haters? Encountered my first troll and they hit me hard. I’m trying to not let it f**k with my head too much..

[kha]

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to read this. I’m fairly new on MFC, I don’t still have the new girl status though. The other night a user went off saying “you’re embarrassing yourself, can’t you see you’re way too old and ugly to be a cam model you’re gonna die alone blah blah blah”
The reason this hit hard is because that is my ultimate fear- I’m not attractive enough to be a cam model and I don’t know it. Personally I think I am. But I have a phobia of not being aware of things that are obvious to outsiders. (I had a seizure a few years back which triggered this.) I know I’m not too old because well I’m under 25 so. The room was so quiet and I was trying really hard to get people as excited I was. Then that troll came in so it was the main focus of the chat and just threw me into dissociation mode. Obviously I blocked them but the damage was done. The fact that this was the only other person speaking in the room helped me believe them.
What’s your advice to new models for shaking it off? Does this happen a lot? Are the trolls just looking for a rise? Why do people even do this?

 

[Cheeseonmyfriesplz]

You have to get used to it. I don’t know if it’s just me but it seems like the holidays are bringing out the trolls or something. I usually don’t get trolled but now I am. I’ve been doing this for 2 years now so I’m like ugh whatever and move on now but when I was new I would take it so personally. And yes they are. Don’t feed into their negativity. They do it cause they’re misogynistic trash. At least you have the option to block them. Unlike when you work at a regular vanilla job you have to put up with people’s bullshit and pretend you like everyone.

 

[mike_aussie]

Hate to say it but you have to push through until you develop a thick skin. If the troll didn't think you fit his idea of attractive then what were they doing in your room? Probably bored and getting off on any potential reaction, possible high or drunk as well. I don't know how MFC works but if there are report and block functions use them. Or you could show who's boss with a sarcastic reply, depending on your tolerance level for assholes, but that could make things worse if they keep pushing.

 

[Cheeseonmyfriesplz]

It’ll most likely be temporary. When you’re a newbie you attract a lot of highly aggressive trolls who will try very hard to get you to quit camming. After you stop being a newbie it’ll probably simmer down unless you become a top model whom seem to attract some pretty dangerous trolls.

 

[PrettyInPink1]

The reason this hit hard is because that is my ultimate fear- I’m not attractive enough to be a cam model and I don’t know it.

What I always say, and not just as a platitude, is: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have seen drop-dead gorgeous guys and girls who say they're dissatisfied by several physical features of theirs.

And we aren't all attracted to the same look. What you consider ugly, someone will find beautiful. And the opposite is true. No matter how unattractive you might think you are, there will always be someone who is completely mesmerized by you.

 

[Danigirl]

Trolls will never go away. Theyre the annoying mosquitoes of the cam world. They're just looking for a reaction. Most likely, they just copy/paste their insults from room to room so never take it personally. Ban and do your best to forget whatever they say. Not looking for you to sympathize with them but imagine how shitty their life is to have to come troll strangers to get attention. Unfortunately, trolls never quit coming but you tend to get better at not letting them get to you. Except when I'm on my period. Then I scorch earth with my responses and everything gets to me lol

 

[ava1992]

Hi Kha,

I just wanted to say you're not alone. Hugs & good vibes to you .
Everything will be ok!

Please do not believe this jerk.
It has nothing to do with you, and EVERYTHING to do with him. I promise.

I can confirm as mentioned above that often times, they literally copy and paste the same thing over and over!
My camming friends have told me they got the same trolls as I did, word for word.
Even guys I know who cam have gotten the same exact trolls.

Think about it - if he's in the room for 30 seconds leaving a paragraph, that's a copy & paste.

It isn't true,
and he probably doesn't even look at the rooms
before he clicks a random thumbnail.
They can't even spell the insult right half the time, lol.

I shake it off by banning them (they love attention) &
reminding myself why they do it - it is THEM not me.

Using the law of attraction, meditation, and manifesting
the types of customers I want has helped me
(I do not expect everybody to agree with this though.)

So does reading online about trolls and how to handle them.
This forum has some great advice and has helped me so much.


They do it because they are hurting inside and bored.
He feels that HE is too ugly (even though there's really no such thing - I'll get to that in a moment.)
So he is projecting his self-loathing onto other people, to try to make himself feel better.

He's like the guy who comes to the club with no money
just to make a point of rejecting everybody and not tipping the staff.

Those guys are broke & miserable.
Trolls are the same thing but online.

They feel so depressed and insecure
that they feel they have to bring other people to their sad level.
The only way they can feel better about themselves is to cause pain.

Quick answer is: he's wrong.
There's a model out there for every viewer, and we all have different taste.
So there's not really any such thing as ugly in camming. It's subjective.
Personality matters as much, if not more than appearance.
Viewers want an emotional connection & an interesting show.

I would say to ignore him, ban him, and focus on creating a show that makes YOU happy- whatever that looks like.
Trolls will troll, but the good viewers make up for it.

You got this!!

Best,
Ava

 

[kha]

Hi Kha,

I just wanted to say you're not alone. Hugs & good vibes to you .
Everything will be ok!

Please do not believe this jerk.
It has nothing to do with you, and EVERYTHING to do with him. I promise.

I can confirm as mentioned above that often times, they literally copy and paste the same thing over and over!
My camming friends have told me they got the same trolls as I did, word for word.
Even guys I know who cam have gotten the same exact trolls.

Think about it - if he's in the room for 30 seconds leaving a paragraph, that's a copy & paste.

It isn't true,
and he probably doesn't even look at the rooms
before he clicks a random thumbnail.
They can't even spell the insult right half the time, lol.

I shake it off by banning them (they love attention) &
reminding myself why they do it - it is THEM not me.

Using the law of attraction, meditation, and manifesting
the types of customers I want has helped me
(I do not expect everybody to agree with this though.)

So does reading online about trolls and how to handle them.
This forum has some great advice and has helped me so much.


They do it because they are hurting inside and bored.
He feels that HE is too ugly (even though there's really no such thing - I'll get to that in a moment.)
So he is projecting his self-loathing onto other people, to try to make himself feel better.

He's like the guy who comes to the club with no money
just to make a point of rejecting everybody and not tipping the staff.

Those guys are broke & miserable.
Trolls are the same thing but online.

They feel so depressed and insecure
that they feel they have to bring other people to their sad level.
The only way they can feel better about themselves is to cause pain.

Quick answer is: he's wrong.
There's a model out there for every viewer, and we all have different taste.
So there's not really any such thing as ugly in camming. It's subjective.
Personality matters as much, if not more than appearance.
Viewers want an emotional connection & an interesting show.

I would say to ignore him, ban him, and focus on creating a show that makes YOU happy- whatever that looks like.
Trolls will troll, but the good viewers make up for it.

You got this!!

Best,
Ava

You are speaking my language lady Thanks for all of the sound advice, I used to work in a strip club so I can definitely see the similarities now. You really helped me process things and I appreciate it. I just signed up for this site and I’m happy to have a sense of community now. It seems great for new models with no friends to talk to about their work life. Good vibes right back at you, have a wonderful friggen day!

 

[kha]

What I always say, and not just as a platitude, is: beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I have seen drop-dead gorgeous guys and girls who say they're dissatisfied by several physical features of theirs.

And we aren't all attracted to the same look. What you consider ugly, someone will find beautiful. And the opposite is true. No matter how unattractive you might think you are, there will always be someone who is completely mesmerized by you.

Love this

 

[kha]

You have to get used to it. I don’t know if it’s just me but it seems like the holidays are bringing out the trolls or something. I usually don’t get trolled but now I am. I’ve been doing this for 2 years now so I’m like ugh whatever and move on now but when I was new I would take it so personally. And yes they are. Don’t feed into their negativity. They do it cause they’re misogynistic trash. At least you have the option to block them. Unlike when you work at a regular vanilla job you have to put up with people’s bullshit and pretend you like everyone.

You know it probably is the holidays! I figured sad lonely dudes with no family would be the perfect clientele, but everyone handles loneliness differently.

 

[melanieoncam]

Trolls will never go away. Theyre the annoying mosquitoes of the cam world. They're just looking for a reaction. Most likely, they just copy/paste their insults from room to room so never take it personally. Ban and do your best to forget whatever they say. Not looking for you to sympathize with them but imagine how shitty their life is to have to come troll strangers to get attention. Unfortunately, trolls never quit coming but you tend to get better at not letting them get to you. Except when I'm on my period. Then I scorch earth with my responses and everything gets to me lol

I love the mosquito analogy. We ALL get them.

Some of these guys get off on having you yell at them so I don't even respond, just silently ban them. I charge good money to yell at guys! not going to do it free lol.

Swat them like a mosquito, ban, move on and forget.

 

[AlbinoGator]

But I have a phobia of not being aware of things that are obvious to outsiders.

I actually completely understand this. And it's a terrible feeling. But you have to understand that when someone trolls you like this, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. You simply won the troll raffle that day. Or for that hour I should say. Someone else will win tomorrow.

You should always keep in mind where you are. This is the internet. This is a place where they can go and be absolutely terrible to someone and not have to worry about it affecting their real life. My guess is that most internet trolls are basically giant pussies in real life. They probably get walked on all the time and never stand up for themselves.

 

[CallMeMaria]

I have a troll friend too, he is a resurfaces after every ban with 5 or 6 different profiles.
His insults are usually these, does anyone else know him too?

" Face like burglars dog"
"Fanny like last nights kebab"
"Face like bus seat covers"
"Cunt like a broken baguette"
"cunt like a punched lasagna"

and recently he came up with something new... "oh does this girl have a learning difficulty because her face looks like that" and " i wonder if her parents are siblings, because she turned out like that"

Once i kept him in for a while, and he actually told me his fetish is making models cry. I suggested he get some tokens, but he resulted into lasagna talk.

Anyhow - my point is, laugh, brush it off, ban, move on. Keep your chin up darling!

 

[Beawaresweety]

Once i kept him in for a while, and he actually told me his fetish is making models cry.

It's not a fetish, he's just a sick fuck who desperately needs some professional help.
Hurting other people on purpose without their consent can't be considered a fetish.

Some people really do come up with "that's my fetish" excuse to cover up their mental problems.
And mental problems are only an explanation of someone's behavior but never an excuse.

To the OP: I'm sorry that it has happened to you, and I'm even more sorry that you reacted this way.

I think you'll have to work not only on your camming career but on your self-esteem as well.

You're great no matter what other people say, and you have to believe that. But you won't be able to believe that if you've been traumatized and got a low self-esteem.

So yeah, technically you should just block and move on. But seeing gross messages like that one (which, as others have said, have nothing to do with YOU) will still hurt you if you don't work on embracing yourself, self-confidence and self-love.

You could do it yourself (not so easy but possible) or you might want to seek a mental health specialist.
It's gonna be hard and a lot of work but so worth it!
Camming is tough in general but it's much tougher when you're insecure.

I'm sending a lot of positive vibes your way and I hope you embrace yourself and become successful at camming (or any other job if you find out that camming isn't for you) ASAP

 

[Sxmxr]

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to read this. I’m fairly new on MFC, I don’t still have the new girl status though. The other night a user went off saying “you’re embarrassing yourself, can’t you see you’re way too old and ugly to be a cam model you’re gonna die alone blah blah blah”
The reason this hit hard is because that is my ultimate fear- I’m not attractive enough to be a cam model and I don’t know it. Personally I think I am. But I have a phobia of not being aware of things that are obvious to outsiders. (I had a seizure a few years back which triggered this.) I know I’m not too old because well I’m under 25 so. The room was so quiet and I was trying really hard to get people as excited I was. Then that troll came in so it was the main focus of the chat and just threw me into dissociation mode. Obviously I blocked them but the damage was done. The fact that this was the only other person speaking in the room helped me believe them.
What’s your advice to new models for shaking it off? Does this happen a lot? Are the trolls just looking for a rise? Why do people even do this?

4 years in and I still get haters multiple times a day. The more successful you are the worse it will get. You have to understand that no good person talks like this, they are sick in the head. I feel bad for them because of how pathetically sad they must be to try and ruin a cam models show.
I try my best to ignore them and move on like nothing happened.

 

[ava1992]

You are speaking my language lady Thanks for all of the sound advice, I used to work in a strip club so I can definitely see the similarities now. You really helped me process things and I appreciate it. I just signed up for this site and I’m happy to have a sense of community now. It seems great for new models with no friends to talk to about their work life. Good vibes right back at you, have a wonderful friggen day!

Same here! I love this forum and the community has been so helpful.

 

[AudriTwo]

i live by these two famous quotes:

"you can't change how people treat you or what they say about you. all you can do is change how you react to it.”

&

"i am rubber, you are glue. everything you say to me bounces off me and sticks to you."


people are going to say and do what they want. no controlling that. it also takes a cruel mother fucker to say cruel things to a stranger unprovoked. when i get a troll, i love it. because i will troll them right back. i somehow have managed to make money from trolls. may it be from other members enjoying the hilarity, a member wanting to be white knight, or the troll will eventually buy a show or tip me. i'm on cam to entertain and offer a service end of the day.

 

[Smores]

Hey! Thanks for taking the time to read this. I’m fairly new on MFC, I don’t still have the new girl status though. The other night a user went off saying “you’re embarrassing yourself, can’t you see you’re way too old and ugly to be a cam model you’re gonna die alone blah blah blah”
The reason this hit hard is because that is my ultimate fear- I’m not attractive enough to be a cam model and I don’t know it. Personally I think I am. But I have a phobia of not being aware of things that are obvious to outsiders. (I had a seizure a few years back which triggered this.) I know I’m not too old because well I’m under 25 so. The room was so quiet and I was trying really hard to get people as excited I was. Then that troll came in so it was the main focus of the chat and just threw me into dissociation mode. Obviously I blocked them but the damage was done. The fact that this was the only other person speaking in the room helped me believe them.
What’s your advice to new models for shaking it off? Does this happen a lot? Are the trolls just looking for a rise? Why do people even do this?

First, never *ever* let a troll see you having any kind of negative emotional response to anything he says. People with sadistic personalities get off on your pain. These are people with dead souls and they need you to respond to their negative energy to feel less dead inside.

Second, when you encounter this kind of person do not just ignore them. For them this is a cat and mouse game and they will just keep hurling insults to try to get you upset. They like that process of watching you go from disinterested to angry.

I think the right response with this kind of person is to 1) show no emotional response at all; 2) ban immediately on the first troll remark; 3) say nothing to the room about it. He is probably watching in an anonymous browser window, and any conversation about him also might trigger him to try it again. Usually, a person like this will get tired within 10 tries if you put him down with no reaction at all. He has nothing from the interaction to feed his sickness.

 

[Danigirl]

First, never *ever* let a troll see you having any kind of negative emotional response to anything he says. People with sadistic personalities get off on your pain. These are people with dead souls and they need you to respond to their negative energy to feel less dead inside.

Second, when you encounter this kind of person do not just ignore them. For them this is a cat and mouse game and they will just keep hurling insults to try to get you upset. They like that process of watching you go from disinterested to angry.

I think the right response with this kind of person is to 1) show no emotional response at all; 2) ban immediately on the first troll remark; 3) say nothing to the room about it. He is probably watching in an anonymous browser window, and any conversation about him also might trigger him to try it again. Usually, a person like this will get tired within 10 tries if you put him down with no reaction at all. He has nothing from the interaction to feed his sickness.

Yep I usually ban without even drawing attention to it. But sometimes I'm sassy and I rip them a new one with a zinger, immediately ban and the dudes in the room tip me well for it. I've made a couple thousand tokens off of being sassy. I only do it on days I feel super confident anyway. Otherwise it's don't even acknowledge and insta ban.

 

[Smores]

Yep I usually ban without even drawing attention to it. But sometimes I'm sassy and I rip them a new one with a zinger, immediately ban and the dudes in the room tip me well for it. I've made a couple thousand tokens off of being sassy. I only do it on days I feel super confident anyway. Otherwise it's don't even acknowledge and insta ban.

That's a good strategy too, but the reason is that you enjoy making the troll suffer as much or more as he wanted you to suffer. I guess there would be an occasional troll who would view that as a challenge and a reason to come back, but most of these trolls look like weak people working for an easy thrill. What you describe would be different than someone who gets really upset, then loses their temper, then bans the troll. The main point I was trying to get at is that you never want to let a troll see you getting upset. If he knows that he got to you emotionally, he might view the interaction as a success and come back.

 

[sikayoujo]

The room was already quiet, and you were putting in effort to make it work... and than trolled. That might have been your sign it was time to take a break for the day. You were already at high pressure, and you got deflated.

I don't know how long you were on or what you were doing, but sometimes it's better to go ahead and call it a day and try again tomorrow. The best way to deal with trolling is to know where you're at for the day with your mental and emotional health, decide how you want to deal with it, a take a breather if you need to. You're going to be different everyday, so a good thing to do it to check in with yourself before, during, and after sessions. Trolls come and go, but YOU are here to stay!​