I will do my absolute best to keep this as concise as possible so it doesn't turn into a shaggy dog story. This is more a kind of therapy for me to type this all out into the universe and get it off my chest.
First, a few things about how I run my room. I've been on CB for ten years. My goals are very reasonable though I do try to hit as many of those as possible (as we all do, right?). Tried a variety of ways to run the room and finally settled into what makes me feel best. I'm pretty lax on pushing goals or reminding guys to tip and I strongly encourage joining my fan club. My fan club is stupidly cheap because ideally, I want everyone to have a green name as it strongly impacts page rank from what we've all been able to figure out over the years (and the numbers do jump when multiple FC are in the room). I have been running the room this way for no less than 7 years with various price changes on menu items/FC cost. I only do private shows with people I'm comfortable with because I'm just fucking weird that way, I guess.
I have an extreme case of resting bitch face and when someone makes me smile it really is genuine. If I'm not amused or interested, I don't pretend to be. If a conversation doesn't light me up, I change the topic. If someone is trying to control the room too much I let them know. If someone is annoying me, I let them know. If someone is making me happy, I also let them know. I also have regulars that have been with me since almost day one and they get my utmost respect because they carried me through some pretty grim shit. This is important to the story, I promise.
New Guy comes into the room about three years ago and we get off on the wrong foot because he's new to transactional entertainment, I take the time to tell him how I run things and he's all in. He soon becomes the highest tipper and pretty consistent. Everything is great until the first time he realizes he outspent his coverage. We chat and I realize I'm not going to see him for a bit until work picks up and I'm cool with that, I understand how that goes. I concentrate on picking up new tippers. He returns just before my birthday. Spoils the fuck out of me. I ask when his birthday is hoping to return the favor with an outfit he might like and I find out he has the same birthday as my husband. FUUUUUCK. First, birthdays are fucking huge to me. I take every opportunity to enjoy the hell out of my personal New Year's Day and I had a very specific plan for hubby's birthday that year. Hubby and I talk about it, I work his birthday for New Guy. Yes, he knows it's hubby's birthday. Honestly, thinking at this point he's probably not going to last much longer as a consistent viewer so sure why not.
Turns out he really, really digs me and hand to dog everything he put at my feet, I could handle. Until I couldn't and here's how that happened.
Remember that resting bitch face? I'm an AOL baby, I'm used to reading hundreds of line of chat at split second speeds and I process what I read so my face is very reactive to that but he doesn't seem to understand that he wasn't the center of my universe and I was reading the room and judging whether or not to engage other people. I would wake up to OF messages saying "why are you mad at me?" I'm not. Or something like "seemed like you were having a bad day yesterday". Yeah because you were the only tipper and I didn't want to go private.
In the room one night, I've got 6 fan club members and he sends me a private message. "I think [Other FC] is abusive, he treats you like you're a whore."
My jaw did not literally drop to the floor but inside my mind I imagine it probably looked like it did. I responded that he was entirely out of his mind and I have known [Other FC] for ten years and he's the least abusive guy next to only one other person. That other person was someone he also called out. "I know I'm third to FC1 and FC2." I don't rank people. I just have different relationships with different people. SO THIS IS WHERE IT GETS FUCKING WILD Y'ALL.
There is a guy I know IRL. We're super good friends and we share one hell of a kink that is forbidden on CB. I gave him my link and he's not able to be around very often because he is in the military but when he does show up I light up like a motherfucking Christmas tree. Mostly because I know he's going to stoke my ego like no one else can and I can do the same. He shows up right before Christmas to wish me a good new year and the next day I get a message from New Guy. "I'm so jealous he made you smile that hard." I explained our relationship.
THEN
Three days later all is well again and he's out with his LDR girlfriend and tells me he wants to get her drunk so she'll go to bed and he can spend time with me. I don't respond and keep broadcasting like a normal person would. He shows up and wants to immediately go private and I'm like no. There are other people waiting for the show they tipped for and he got huffy because I put on lipstick and smiled at another tipper.
Seriously, here is the message on OF.
"Hello. I’m good. I’m still out west
Just not feeling like you care if I’m in your room or not. Here’s is the long and short of it all. The last time I was in your room I had been out. Got on as soon as she was out. I was tipping and I thought we were having fun. I hit the button and you motioned no. I canceled the pvt and kept tipping then [user] comes in and you put lipstick on and are happy as a clam. All you had to say was [user] is coming in and I would have been fine
I get it V I may not be the most when it comes to conversation but I’m loyal through and through maybe to a fault and always do what I can. It really makes me feel like you think give me your tips and then go away. If that’s all there is then say the word and I’ll leave you alone. You may think I’m jealous. I would think it’s more feeling hurt and taken advantage of"
I have no fucking idea who is going to show up when or what they are ready to do but I do know when someone has lost their mind. I never once asked for anything, I don't make up sob stories to get tips, he did this all on his own but somehow I'm the fucking asshole.
I did everything I said I was going to do and never manipulated anything. JEALOUSY.
No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. There's a whole lot of assumptions on his part and none on mine. He's not the first I've dealt with like this but I really wish people would understand we're just doing our jobs. Live in that fantasy but don't make me personally liable for it because when you accuse me of taking advantage of you that's below the belt. You signed on, you bought tokens and you gave them to me. I didn't not break your hands to make that happen.
And sorry if this all sounds like Days of Our Lives. Oh I forgot to add the CB tip note that I was like a sister to him. WTAF. He wants to keep the relationship going but if I do then I really am taking advantage of him because I have zero respect left.
First, a few things about how I run my room. I've been on CB for ten years. My goals are very reasonable though I do try to hit as many of those as possible (as we all do, right?). Tried a variety of ways to run the room and finally settled into what makes me feel best. I'm pretty lax on pushing goals or reminding guys to tip and I strongly encourage joining my fan club. My fan club is stupidly cheap because ideally, I want everyone to have a green name as it strongly impacts page rank from what we've all been able to figure out over the years (and the numbers do jump when multiple FC are in the room). I have been running the room this way for no less than 7 years with various price changes on menu items/FC cost. I only do private shows with people I'm comfortable with because I'm just fucking weird that way, I guess.
I have an extreme case of resting bitch face and when someone makes me smile it really is genuine. If I'm not amused or interested, I don't pretend to be. If a conversation doesn't light me up, I change the topic. If someone is trying to control the room too much I let them know. If someone is annoying me, I let them know. If someone is making me happy, I also let them know. I also have regulars that have been with me since almost day one and they get my utmost respect because they carried me through some pretty grim shit. This is important to the story, I promise.
New Guy comes into the room about three years ago and we get off on the wrong foot because he's new to transactional entertainment, I take the time to tell him how I run things and he's all in. He soon becomes the highest tipper and pretty consistent. Everything is great until the first time he realizes he outspent his coverage. We chat and I realize I'm not going to see him for a bit until work picks up and I'm cool with that, I understand how that goes. I concentrate on picking up new tippers. He returns just before my birthday. Spoils the fuck out of me. I ask when his birthday is hoping to return the favor with an outfit he might like and I find out he has the same birthday as my husband. FUUUUUCK. First, birthdays are fucking huge to me. I take every opportunity to enjoy the hell out of my personal New Year's Day and I had a very specific plan for hubby's birthday that year. Hubby and I talk about it, I work his birthday for New Guy. Yes, he knows it's hubby's birthday. Honestly, thinking at this point he's probably not going to last much longer as a consistent viewer so sure why not.
Turns out he really, really digs me and hand to dog everything he put at my feet, I could handle. Until I couldn't and here's how that happened.
Remember that resting bitch face? I'm an AOL baby, I'm used to reading hundreds of line of chat at split second speeds and I process what I read so my face is very reactive to that but he doesn't seem to understand that he wasn't the center of my universe and I was reading the room and judging whether or not to engage other people. I would wake up to OF messages saying "why are you mad at me?" I'm not. Or something like "seemed like you were having a bad day yesterday". Yeah because you were the only tipper and I didn't want to go private.
In the room one night, I've got 6 fan club members and he sends me a private message. "I think [Other FC] is abusive, he treats you like you're a whore."
My jaw did not literally drop to the floor but inside my mind I imagine it probably looked like it did. I responded that he was entirely out of his mind and I have known [Other FC] for ten years and he's the least abusive guy next to only one other person. That other person was someone he also called out. "I know I'm third to FC1 and FC2." I don't rank people. I just have different relationships with different people. SO THIS IS WHERE IT GETS FUCKING WILD Y'ALL.
There is a guy I know IRL. We're super good friends and we share one hell of a kink that is forbidden on CB. I gave him my link and he's not able to be around very often because he is in the military but when he does show up I light up like a motherfucking Christmas tree. Mostly because I know he's going to stoke my ego like no one else can and I can do the same. He shows up right before Christmas to wish me a good new year and the next day I get a message from New Guy. "I'm so jealous he made you smile that hard." I explained our relationship.
THEN
Three days later all is well again and he's out with his LDR girlfriend and tells me he wants to get her drunk so she'll go to bed and he can spend time with me. I don't respond and keep broadcasting like a normal person would. He shows up and wants to immediately go private and I'm like no. There are other people waiting for the show they tipped for and he got huffy because I put on lipstick and smiled at another tipper.
Seriously, here is the message on OF.
"Hello. I’m good. I’m still out west
Just not feeling like you care if I’m in your room or not. Here’s is the long and short of it all. The last time I was in your room I had been out. Got on as soon as she was out. I was tipping and I thought we were having fun. I hit the button and you motioned no. I canceled the pvt and kept tipping then [user] comes in and you put lipstick on and are happy as a clam. All you had to say was [user] is coming in and I would have been fine
I get it V I may not be the most when it comes to conversation but I’m loyal through and through maybe to a fault and always do what I can. It really makes me feel like you think give me your tips and then go away. If that’s all there is then say the word and I’ll leave you alone. You may think I’m jealous. I would think it’s more feeling hurt and taken advantage of"
I have no fucking idea who is going to show up when or what they are ready to do but I do know when someone has lost their mind. I never once asked for anything, I don't make up sob stories to get tips, he did this all on his own but somehow I'm the fucking asshole.
I did everything I said I was going to do and never manipulated anything. JEALOUSY.
No one is perfect, we all make mistakes. There's a whole lot of assumptions on his part and none on mine. He's not the first I've dealt with like this but I really wish people would understand we're just doing our jobs. Live in that fantasy but don't make me personally liable for it because when you accuse me of taking advantage of you that's below the belt. You signed on, you bought tokens and you gave them to me. I didn't not break your hands to make that happen.
And sorry if this all sounds like Days of Our Lives. Oh I forgot to add the CB tip note that I was like a sister to him. WTAF. He wants to keep the relationship going but if I do then I really am taking advantage of him because I have zero respect left.
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