Members changing what they wanted for a tip.

[Meghan202]

Okay so this is more of a rant than anything but also wondered if anyone else has had this issue and how they dealt with it. So I have a great member of mine who has been very helpful and kind usually. He tipped 5000 and we discussed that it would be for 5 skypes with me. We did those skypes and they went great, he seemed happy. He then tipped another 5000 so that we could do skypes. This started off fine.. but he slowly wanted more and more from me. He used guilt trips and got me to send him extra clips and videos, one I wasn't comfortable with doing but did anyway (my own fault.) He then decided he wanted to instead of 5 skypes do only 2 skypes and 3 custom videos. I said I was fine with that. He started to then try and make me believe he payed for something else and I slowly realized the mind games he has been playing with me. Where do I go from here? He is treating me unfairly and it's caused me extreme amounts of anxiety. I took a few days off because of a personal problem i had for example and he went on to manipulate me and make me feel terrible about it.

 

[JimsX]

Ban the fucker. And never waste another thought on him. Guys do this somewhat often on MFC, especially with newer models.

 

[JickyJuly]

If you want to do the custom videos, give him a quote for the price of them. Tell him you assumed the 2nd 5000 tip was a thank you for the freebies you sent him. Avoid future skypes with him, and, if you feel comfortable, offer mfc private as the alternative. That would be my plan!

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

If he's gotten to the point, where you'll never be comfortable with him, it's probably best just to get rid of him. If you can stand him but just don't want to be taken advantage of, make sure you've got an agreement at the time of payment, and make it clear you are not going to renegotiate after the fact. If he tips and then acts like he can have whatever he wants, I think you need to make clear what you're okay with and what you aren't.

If he gives you grief for taking personal time, hit him with a wet fish. He's not in charge of your personal life. Okay, the fish part was silly, but the point is, and I think all of us here would agree, you have nothing to feel bad about for taking the time you need, and if he guilt trips you about it, that's him being a jerk.

 

[blehxor]

You definitely need to have a discussion about it with him. I would sit him down and tell him exactly what you just told us. But phrase it in a way that doesn't give him an excuse to start getting angry at you and start claiming you're accusing him of all kinds of stuff. One of two things are likely to happen. He'll realize he was wrong, apologize and be more clear about what the tips are for OR he'll react in a way that lets you know he won't get better about it. At which point you should go your separate ways.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Meghan you are confusing the member by not maintaining boundaries...he is collecting on a perceived friendship, changing the rules and exploring different options. You also seemed ok with that at first.
The solution is just to send him a few direct no's, he may leave you, but will respect you as a model again.

 

[AerynShade]

She's not confusing him; he's taking advantage of her.

His money may be good in the short term, but in the long run he'll cost you more in stress than he's worth. New policy, no extras, no freebies, no pushing boundaries. I'd tell him he was making me very uncomfortable and stressed and wouldn't be doing skypes or customs in the future for him.

 

[Sevrin]

Cashing out members who overstep boundaries occasionally is part of the cost of doing business as a cam model, both emotionally and financially. I think most models have had experiences with that.

 

[WickedTouch]

He is taking advantage. This guy's behaviour comes across as manipulative, shallow and a tad slimy.

IMO, just because he has been a decent tipper in the past, doesn't set any precedent which would mean that he is automatically entitled to discounts in the future. Even asking for them is a dodgy move. If a model such as yourself, chose to reward a regular contributor with a special show or gift... such as a custom vid, discount skype etc then than would be up to you to offer that kind of deal... not for him to request it, demand it, or assume its a given. He is just playing emotional mind games.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[RubyDimples]

I would tell him how you feel and establish boundaries. Feeling uncomfortable and full of anxiety is not a recipe for fun...

 

[ComicOzzie]

He is trying to assert control over you. You can let him continue to do this, or you can take control and ban him. The choice is yours.

:twocents-02cents:

 

[mynameisbob84]

There's two sides to every story so I'm hesitant to throw the guy under the bus completely, but based purely on what you've said, it does sound as if he's trying to take advantage of you, and he probably is enjoying the power that (he believes) his tipping affords him. It doesn't seem at all uncommon for a member who perhaps single-handedly contributes a large amount of a model's income (maybe even the majority) to come to expect special treatment, and a say in how she runs her room. It's up to you to decide whether the money he's tipping you is enough for you to be putting up with him (I would say it's not and never is, but then I'm not the one who's gonna be missing out on income if he's told to fuck off). At the very least though, for the sake of your own sanity, I think you need to explain to him in no uncertain terms that he's making you feel uncomfortable, and he needs to change his attitude.

 

[Meghan202]

Thanks for all of the replies, felt like I was going crazy trying to please him. Also thank you Aeryn! I definitely did not confuse him with boundaries I've said no and explained things to him more than a few times. I also explained I retain all rights on my custom videos and last night he found another reason to be angry that I was selling one of the videos I'd made for him. I've finally told him I'm no longer comfortable with him and that the remainder of what he paid for will be custom videos. I cannot skype with him again also because Ive found in almost every skype he uses it as a way to try and get even more freebies!
Thanks for backing me up guys!

 

[JimsX]

Thanks for all of the replies, felt like I was going crazy trying to please him. Also thank you Aeryn! I definitely did not confuse him with boundaries I've said no and explained things to him more than a few times. I also explained I retain all rights on my custom videos and last night he found another reason to be angry that I was selling one of the videos I'd made for him. I've finally told him I'm no longer comfortable with him and that the remainder of what he paid for will be custom videos. I cannot skype with him again also because Ive found in almost every skype he uses it as a way to try and get even more freebies!
Thanks for backing me up guys!

I will try to say this carefully. I KINDA understand him on the video thing. It has been discussed elsewhere on the forum, but if I bought a custom/exclusive video I would be upset if I found out the model was selling it (particularly if it's for less than what I paid). But of course there is indeed a difference between custom and exclusive, and if you made him aware of this then no harm, no foul. It's yours to sell again.

 

[DudeExtreme]

Thanks for all of the replies, felt like I was going crazy trying to please him. Also thank you Aeryn! I definitely did not confuse him with boundaries I've said no and explained things to him more than a few times. I also explained I retain all rights on my custom videos and last night he found another reason to be angry that I was selling one of the videos I'd made for him. I've finally told him I'm no longer comfortable with him and that the remainder of what he paid for will be custom videos. I cannot skype with him again also because Ive found in almost every skype he uses it as a way to try and get even more freebies!
Thanks for backing me up guys!

Some guys will always try to get something for little or nothing. You always have the right to say no to anyone you are not comfortable with. If he can afford to spend 5000 tokens for something, he can afford to pay full price.