Gram raised me from 3 due to neglect. Mom left for California. We had roommates my entire childhood, a few whole families. Gram was very generous and giving. Even gave homeless friends of mine when I was like 15-21 live there til they got back on their feet.
Eventually I moved all around the area, spent a few years in Tallahassee for college, and came back when Gram retired from her job, but she was still struggling. I moved to our home with some old friends, got her rent coming in, got her a job at the place I worked and began to help pay off the mortgage.
Gram and I lived alone a while and "Mom" got out of prison in 1997. I met this gangster lady who had bouts of drinking, hard rugs, violence, and jail time. Literally using a razor blade on one boyfriend, stabbing another in the back with a steak knife, woke me up a few times by punching me in the face like I'm being jumped in her gang, 1 2 1 2 1 2 t il I jump up and hold her weak arms showing her I can make her stop. I learned to let go when her rage face goes away but she doesn't learn a thing, cuz it is alcohol or crack doing the talking, not the loving woman I see sometimes.
She lived all over the area with different boyfriends, doing well sometimes, doing bad most times. We had both been in and out of here for years.
I was diagnosed with cancer in my spine and everything is slowly going numb. I'm also disabled since 15 with a knee problem, so I've never been a manual labor type. I am quite lazy, I admit. So, the mortgage gets paid off, I move home because no rent, duh. Mom does the same after her bf dies of liver cancer and oxy. I had to call paramedics for both of them a few times. Both of them were violent. Actually got physical in the next room. He was a straight-up crackhead, and the way she acted and smelled she sureth did partaketh...
To answer your vapid, feeble-minded question... you missed that SHE lives with ME.
Gram died in Feb after 2 years of her heart trying to kill her. The last 1.5 years I was taking care of all the bills as her mind slowly went. She wasn't able to walk for the last 6 months and mom and I had to help her with literally everything. She stopped reading... playing mahjong and hidden object adventure games on steam... all her favorite things. Mom had to literally clean her because she couldn't control her falculties... we stopped fighting, but every few weeks she would drink or find xanax from someone and just completely stop helping for a week at a time. I cleaned the standing toilet by her bed every morning (since she couldn't walk to the bathroom even on good days and the walker was helping) and changed the sheets because I could not have cleaning her private parts in my memory. She only left her room if Gram needed cleaning, and only after my pleads to her.
Gram's heart finally gave up in Feb and mom quit drinking and started abusing xanax more... from her own script to buying from neighbors.
So, no, it may not be normal, but it's my life and I've been doing my best to be content and happy while being the only one in the house able to pay a single bill. Mom's memory is horrible. Numbers, letters, and words she doesn't know make her angry and confused.
We were paying everything 3 ways when Gram was here. Now everything is 50/50 and we get along great.. until yesterday. Going thru Gram's clothing and things triggered her or something and it wore me down. After her brother left I started going thru some cabinets in the living room that she's been asking to get cleaned out for a long time. We got along great... after her brother had humbled her that afternoon things were good again... until they left and she started talking and talking and talking starting the same hateful speech about them, me, regrets, threats, and gripes about people she could easily call and straighten out.
It wears a person down. Even with my noise-cancelling headphones I hear it, since my door is open so my computers don't cook me.
Shit gets dark when you always have to be on alert, but the last few months have been peaceful... until yesterday.
I hope you're having a much better day than I had.
I was manic and still feeling the effects of yesterday's events. I use humor to get over things.
While you have good advice that I'm already doing, as it's 1 cam site and 2 models I moderate for this 1 site.
It's hard to take you seriously because those were K.Dot's lyrics. I didn't even realize it linked back to genius, I just thought it was nice that it was blue when I pasted it and edited it
1. I registered as a broadcaster years ago when a high tipper was going on vacation for 2 weeks and asked me to get a tip button so I could tip her while he was away.
2. I've played video games since 1980 and never really grew up. Totally spoiled by Gram. I've lived on the internet since like 1998 when I finally bought a pc and never stopped. In my manic moment I used humor to make fun of someone who was calling me a liar about a very wild, serious event that just happened moments ago... for likes. I'm somewhere on the spectrum, obviously. I think Asperger's. Meme'n from a man I've learned a lot from to tell someone in a way that is funny to me sure felt appropriate.
3. A Thug Life TYPE tattoo that says Black Cat... in Olde English letters, curved like Pac's THUG LIFE tattoo. Every bit is true. She has lived and is living a wild life. That other cat calling me a hillbilly that gets off on telling people drama is hilarious to me, knowing what I know about her. Seeing what I've seen. It just shows you have no idea how some poor people with serious drugs problems and brain damage actually live day to day. Some are good. Some are bad. Maybe it sounds made up to you cuz you've never known a sex worker who went to prison. Was obviously clean while on parole, but when that was done she popped right off. Also, "former drug addicted prostitute" shows you didn't read. She's currently addicted to 2 drugs and former prostitute. She's 66, ffs. Sex work is long behind her.
Sadly the same is not true for alcoholism. She will battle that until her last day
4. I don't know the arrest record from Cali. I just have birthday letters for years and years with drawings other inmates did for her. I only know the things she's said, the ways she's acted with her boyfriends, how she's treated me, and the jail time she's spent here for each of us.
5. Brains react to drugs differently. You admit that "You can be extra irritable and aggressive when it wears off due to rebound anxiety, but I just personally have never seen or heard of someone being mean and aggressive when the Xanax is actually taking effect." This is anecdotal. Just because you've never seen it doesn't mean it doesn't happen. She took many, many for days and days, then saw she is running out and starts taking 1 or .5 a day. She is not smart enough to taper, as I would if I abused mine. I'm very careful with my script lately because I'm scared of them...scared of messing up the bills and losing the home Gram left for me. I'm scared I'll abuse them again.
6. If what you say were true they both would've walked right in when I turned around and walked down the hall... as would have the group talking outside at their cars. Her record is the reason there was so many cars responding. My exact words where not that I did something, but that if she did something to me I was afraid I might fight back. I was graphic. When you know the law and are sure you have not broken any, and the police ask leading questions trying to take those rights away, letting them see that you know the law changes their tone. If there had been an actual threat they would come in, but they saw a calm man not taking their bullshit. ~~ "after getting a call that someone had been choked out, they would have immediately entered. Not just waited around and then be okay with OP slamming the door in their faces." ~~ The call they got was someone said in a chat room that they want to choke someone because she won't stop threatening him, NOT that something had happened, or that anyone was in danger. They would've looked at the address and the veterans would know exactly who the calls, as they've been here many, many times for her and even a few times for me that I had to prove her and her friends were lying. I treat cops with respect who treat me with respect. If only to keep myself out of jail. So, I lost respect for this man the moment he asked me to step outside and have a chat. That proved he had no cause to take me, but had to see if the woman whose record he just read in his car computer, who other people on the force probably warned him about, and has gone to jail multiple times for attack me, was ok. He saw a calm man that knew the law. I never slammed any door in his face. I walked calmly to her room and ask Mom to come talk to the police. We both stood at the doorway and answered their questions calmly. She had been fine for hours after, as I said, her brother humbled her. When they saw there was no problem I said what I said and slammed the door. I know it's a wall of text but hot damn to be so adamant about your views after not reading or comprehending what you read is boggling.
"1. Spend the time you're worrying about getting unbanned on actually getting help for your home situation.
Or 2. Enroll in a local community college and take some creative writing and english classes, because based off these posts, you need a little help with both."
1. I have nothing better to do but CB, game, netflix, youtube. I have made some very good friends on CB. I can talk to people in public from the confidence I built talking to nice people here. 4 years of basically 24/7 chatting on CB between gaming kindof breaks you, but I'm so broken who cares? The cancer is going to take me long before I give any fucks about what people think of how I spend my time.
2. Thanks! This is a great idea. Also, I'd like to take a class in home ownership and learn about all the energy-saving government grants so we can fix the house! Nice dig, tho, but judging from your reading comprehension I couldn't possibly take offense.
