Anytime it's a gray area thing, where it doesn't feel quite like cheating but not quite NOT-cheating, this is where both partners can discuss what's acceptable and what is not, in accordance to what both individuals are comfortable with. That way, gray area uncertainties become black & white based on the terms of what you and your partner agree upon.
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Is watching porn cheating?
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Anytime it's a gray area thing, where it doesn't feel quite like cheating but not quite NOT-cheating, this is where both partners can discuss what's acceptable and what is not, in accordance to what both individuals are comfortable with. That way, gray area uncertainties become black & white based on the terms of what you and your partner agree upon.
watching porn is ain't cheating but neglecting your partner and watching cam models is cheating....you can watch porn with your partner to spice up things in your love and sex life........if you wanna watch cam model do it with your partner 
I split with a partner because of MFC,
she looked through my phone and found i'd been browsing and it was the nail in the coffin. I never considered it cheating although she did and was heartbroken
I wanted to explain about the social side and how it had helped me though more than one bout of depression but how on earth do you do that?
The ironic thing is i wasn't buying tokens, just checking in on friends
she looked through my phone and found i'd been browsing and it was the nail in the coffin. I never considered it cheating although she did and was heartbroken
I wanted to explain about the social side and how it had helped me though more than one bout of depression but how on earth do you do that?
The ironic thing is i wasn't buying tokens, just checking in on friends
yummybrownfox
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I'm more disturbed by guys going into cam girls' rooms and bitching about how fat and unattractive their girlfriends/wives are...while telling the cam girl that they'd rather be with her instead. THAT, imo, is worse than the actual visiting-cam sites-behind-her-back stuff.
Worship Jaclyn
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I think lifestyle is a factor here too. If I didn't live with my partner then no, I wouldn't mind at all. If we had chaotic schedules or he traveled for work or something I don't think I would mind that either. Right now I can only imagine him watching cam models as something he was doing instead of being with me and that is why I would be 100% against it. It's odd because I like my alone time, it's not like we are in the same room side by side 24/7 but for some reason if I was home and he was watching a camgirl I would be so hurt, and I would consider it cheating. Now if I was with someone and I found out they were frequenting a cam model's room I would just tell them how I felt about it and not hold what they had already done against them, then if it continued that is when I would consider it cheating. Something else that impacts how I see this is who I am as a member. I do go to model's rooms, I sometimes hang out and watch them, I of course tip, and I tip because I am in absolute love with making girls smile. I want to make them happy. So to me, I know that is so much more emotional than sexual and like others have said, emotional affairs do irreparable damage. Also this is all with MFC/Chaturbate in mind. If he was getting privates or on SM I would fucking murder him. I feel uncomfortable even offering those things because I feel like I'm cheating on him sometimes. I just think if you find out your partner did something that you consider cheating you need to tell them and agree on a line. Sometimes we don't know what our lines are until they are crossed.
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Related...
I was apartment sitting for a boyfriend I had at the time several years ago. He had to rush to go on a trip, so I offered to tidy stuff up at his place while he was away.
Anyway, while putting away some clothes, I found a few unmarked VHS tapes in one of the drawers so of course I had to put them on. I am too curious to NOT do that.
I really wish I had been able to copy those tapes because it was some of the funniest 80's porn I have ever seen. Big hair, spandex, lots of synthesizers. They were audition tapes too so of course they were super awkward. All of the girls in it were very cute, though I did not personally find it to be a turn on.
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That's hilarious
If this happened in the 80's, or even the early 90's, not a big deal. If it was any time in the last 10 years though, it's a little disturbing.
I guess I'm too simple about these things. To me, doing something that you promised your partner you wouldn't do is cheating. Promised you'd never watch porn? Then watching porn is cheating. Agreed porn's cool but spending on cam girls isn't? Then cam girls are cheating. Agreed on a budget and blew past it? Cheating. Agreed you could fuck whoever you want, but no kissing on the lips? Then kissing's cheating.
Didn't talk to your partner about expectations? Dumbass. And if she gives you a next time, then the next time's cheating.
Didn't talk to your partner about expectations? Dumbass. And if she gives you a next time, then the next time's cheating.
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Porno hipsters...
"What kinda porn do you like, man?"
"Eh, the early stuff. It's all too mainstream these days"
Sorry to hear about that. She went through your phone?
Sounds like she had some trust issues with you.
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I guess it depends on the boundaries of that particular relationship for those people. Some people take it very personal and if it's something that will bother them then I think they should be honest about it and find someone who doesn't care for it too much. Personally I don't mind... never have. It was something that was fun to watch with a partner in fact.
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This is ALWAYS an automatic "no get out of my room" type shit.
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I agree! This bothers me as well. I always reply for them to get out of my room and go love on their wife NOW lol
Match.com considers it to be cheating: http://datingtips.match.com/different-forms-cheating-relationship-13197019.html
Personally it bothers me, which is pretty damn silly since i sell and make my own porn.
but I'm the first to admit, I have very bad anxiety, paranoia, and in general I feel like everyone is naturally better than me. so first off in my relationship I found his porn collection on his laptop, my heart broke, I had to spend 2 years building up my trust and getting over being paranoid, it was horrible, I'd be lying if I said i would be okay with it now, because I wouldn't be, 3 years later, but now it would be more along the lines of, "i make my own porn, ya don't need to be watching any other girls" for those wondering, yes he made the choice to no longer view porn, but I never forced him, I left him to make that choice himself.
but I'm the first to admit, I have very bad anxiety, paranoia, and in general I feel like everyone is naturally better than me. so first off in my relationship I found his porn collection on his laptop, my heart broke, I had to spend 2 years building up my trust and getting over being paranoid, it was horrible, I'd be lying if I said i would be okay with it now, because I wouldn't be, 3 years later, but now it would be more along the lines of, "i make my own porn, ya don't need to be watching any other girls"
for those wondering, yes he made the choice to no longer view porn, but I never forced him, I left him to make that choice himself.
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I think it's a bit dependent on a few different things, lifestyle, like aria mentioned, and your partner. Some individuals are going to take it more seriously than others. I personally wouldn't care if a guy I was dating watched porn on days that I just wasn't feeling up to, or around him to have, sex. As long as our relationship was healthy and he was honest with me and good to me, porn isn't going to piss me off. Some girls find it to be a bit of a betrayal. To some of them it's like saying "you're not enough for me". I just think honest discussions are the most important part of relationships, and that most everything can be solved with a good talk. Even if that talk ends up with you guys breaking up because things aren't working, that's still a solution.
No, Guy. Match.com doesn't consider it to be cheating. Bridgett Michele Lawrence considers it to be cheating. Those are merely the thoughts and opinions of one of their bloggers. Kinda like a 'Dear Abby' advice column. It doesn't make it fact, because it's all a matter of perception.
Long story short, EVERY person is going to feel differently about it. And sometimes, they'll even change their own views on it! Hell, 18yo me got super upset and hurt whenever my husband watched porn. I thought that he was cheating/preferred them over me/etc. Now, I couldn't care less. Unless it's showing warning signs (like he only watches taboo son/daughter porn and is always talking about how sexy his mom is in short dresses or something), then it's no big deal to me.
However, I would personally get upset and hurt if I found out that he were hiding things from me. The moment that you realize that you want to keep secrets from your significant other is the moment that it changes to cheating. You know you're doing something wrong. Be open and communicate effectively with your sig other. Ask their thoughts on porn/cammodels, and explain how and why you use those media. Relationships are all about compromise and honesty. So don't take everything you read as fact, especially when it comes to things like this. All you're reading is each person's individual opinion. You need to ask your sig other for the only opinion (besides yours) that matters.
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Honestly, whether it's porn or whatever...this is so important.
Personally, I don't think watching porn is cheating, but it would probably depend on the context. If I had a partner and they were watching regular videos/ pre-recorded content, that wouldn't bother me at all. If they were in public chat with a model, again, that wouldn't bother me. I think if I was in a monogamous relationship, however, my partner being in a private chat with a model would make me a little uncomfortable as I feel that is a little too intimate. In the past I have actually enjoyed porn as a couple's activity and really like it as a way of getting to know what works for my current partner. Plus it can be a great part of foreplay! So, I think a healthy dose of porn is fine.
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I don't view porn as per se cheating if it's not hidden, kept secret, or taken too far. Absolutely if you're hiding or lying about it, it's a problem.
That said, there are aspects and forms of porn that I wouldn't automatically assume a significant other would immediately understand; forms of porn that would be potentially embarrassing just blurting out if she didn't already know.
Watching pre-recorded porn is probably the least intrusive form of "cheating" there's no interaction, no involvement.
Camming is much more dangerous to a relationship. There are emotions involved. I know the link Guy posted above makes it seem like women are more focused on emotional cheating and men on physical; but I can tell you that I would be sensitive to emotional cheating.
I made the "joke" once with a model, that I hoped someday to find a woman who would be cool enough to not just be okay with my friendships on MFC or CB, but would even join me to some degree in being a regular. As a man, and risking becoming emotionally attached to someone online in an interactive environment, I'd probably have to be very upfront at some point with a significant other, especially since it takes up so much of my afterhours online time.
In the highly unlikely even that I was blessed to be the significant other of someone who cams, I would probably have to constantly remind myself, that a)it's her job, b)if I love her, I should support her, c)communication is key d)when the cam turns off we are there for each other.
I think perhaps for men, a physical or body worker would be the hardest form of to deal with, combining both the physical and the emotional possibilities of cheating. From the stories I've heard of married or dating couples who work in the porn industry, they often have to set aside certain acts, even as simple as kissing, for their significant other, essentially as an anchor or signifier of fidelity.
That said, there are aspects and forms of porn that I wouldn't automatically assume a significant other would immediately understand; forms of porn that would be potentially embarrassing just blurting out if she didn't already know.
Watching pre-recorded porn is probably the least intrusive form of "cheating" there's no interaction, no involvement.
Camming is much more dangerous to a relationship. There are emotions involved. I know the link Guy posted above makes it seem like women are more focused on emotional cheating and men on physical; but I can tell you that I would be sensitive to emotional cheating.
I made the "joke" once with a model, that I hoped someday to find a woman who would be cool enough to not just be okay with my friendships on MFC or CB, but would even join me to some degree in being a regular. As a man, and risking becoming emotionally attached to someone online in an interactive environment, I'd probably have to be very upfront at some point with a significant other, especially since it takes up so much of my afterhours online time.
In the highly unlikely even that I was blessed to be the significant other of someone who cams, I would probably have to constantly remind myself, that a)it's her job, b)if I love her, I should support her, c)communication is key d)when the cam turns off we are there for each other.
I think perhaps for men, a physical or body worker would be the hardest form of to deal with, combining both the physical and the emotional possibilities of cheating. From the stories I've heard of married or dating couples who work in the porn industry, they often have to set aside certain acts, even as simple as kissing, for their significant other, essentially as an anchor or signifier of fidelity.
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Watching porn is not cheating, in the same way watching a TV spot for hamburgers is not breaking your diet.
That said, I do think watching porn has consequences. It has an impact on your sex life. Masturbating decreases your cravings for sexual intimacy and watching sex scenes and scores of naked girls can make you less sensible to the naked body of your SO. So there could be a correlation between watching a lot of porn and neglecting your spouse. Some porn addicts cant even get it going unless there is porn involved.
Camming is not simple porn though. There is interaction with another person, intimacy, emotional bonds, and sometimes deep feelings can develop. It is this aspect of camming that makes it messy and could turn into cheating.
That said, I do think watching porn has consequences. It has an impact on your sex life. Masturbating decreases your cravings for sexual intimacy and watching sex scenes and scores of naked girls can make you less sensible to the naked body of your SO. So there could be a correlation between watching a lot of porn and neglecting your spouse. Some porn addicts cant even get it going unless there is porn involved.
Camming is not simple porn though. There is interaction with another person, intimacy, emotional bonds, and sometimes deep feelings can develop. It is this aspect of camming that makes it messy and could turn into cheating.
Like a lot of others have said already, I don't consider porn to be cheating, but I do think it's important to be open about it with your partner. Some people just aren't comfortable with their SO watching porn.
Camming is a lot more complicated I think, since it involves actual interaction with a live person in a sexual context. I would consider it cheating personally, but I know others probably disagree. To me, cheating means having relationships with people other than your partner that are of a sexual/romantic nature without making sure it's okay with your partner first. Camming may not me romantic or "official" the way that dating someone else is, and it isn't physical like having sex with another person besides your SO would be, but it does involve relationships that are, at the very least, partially sexual.
Camming is a lot more complicated I think, since it involves actual interaction with a live person in a sexual context. I would consider it cheating personally, but I know others probably disagree. To me, cheating means having relationships with people other than your partner that are of a sexual/romantic nature without making sure it's okay with your partner first. Camming may not me romantic or "official" the way that dating someone else is, and it isn't physical like having sex with another person besides your SO would be, but it does involve relationships that are, at the very least, partially sexual.
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Given cheating is a subjective term that relates only to the behavior in individual relationships based on established norms IN that relationship AND contextual to other events? Depends.
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