Is it really true that only 30% of women can have real orgasms during sex?

[Puffin]

Lots of mental foreplay, stimulate clitoris, massage G spot, give girl 2 minutes of business time (cos 2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven) ... Bish bash bosh job done

Unfortunately it is not the simple. It's still not likely in most women, it does get a little easier with age, so that's one advantage of getting older!

 

[lillyr]

In society, women are not encouraged to experience pleasure in the same way as men. Men and women are conditioned to view sex and pleasure in completely different ways.

To give you an example: I didn't understand where the clit was until high school sex ed. Before then, I thought all the ~good feeling parts~ surely must be inside

If I didn't put that together until my teens, imagine how many dudes didn't get how important clitoral stimulation can be?!

While plenty of men figured out how to jack themselves off from a young age, many women were in a similar position as I was and didn't figure out what felt good until much later.

Could that make having an orgasm a bit more difficult? You bet.

Also, consider what we see in porn. It effects how we think sex is supposed to go. We've all seen someone getting jack hammered by a dick before in porn, right? Doesn't necessarily feel great, but because we've seen it so often, we assume that's how it's supposed to go. Then there's the assumption/expectation that all sex should include orgasms and was terrible if it didn't. That's not always the case.

Another important factor to consider here: when you say sex, are you only referring to heterosexual penetration?

Cause I'm sure if we explored the statistics in lesbian relationships...the numbers in that statistic may different

100% on point!

 

[Swizzles]

would like to point out that my post was not a serious one! I was hoping someone would get the Flight of the Conchords "Business Time" reference!

 

[Silent_Meg]

Are you from GB? Cuz British people always make references no one but other British people can get

 

[Swizzles]

Are you from GB? Cuz British people always make references no one but other British people can get

haha I am British...

 

[Ambers Troll]

Apparently there is a window to learn how to achieve orgasm, that many miss. Beyond this age range it can become increasingly harder to learn, I guess for a range of reasons.
Don't worry too much about those women who can't achieve orgasm (perhaps just as many men too, ejaculation is not orgasm after all. Hopefully non-orgasmic women enjoy sex at least in this way.). Sex is still fun for them, pleasurable. They are missing out on intensity and depth of pleasure, but not missing out on pleasure.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Any idea what the percentage would be for men?

Most likely about the same or much worse for men. When talking of orgasm, many men ejaculate only, a physical response with very little pleasure attached to it (no real orgasm, not that they ever know what they are missing).
For both men and women letting go enough to orgasm is a learnt thing, usually it has happened for most in experimentation by the early teens.

 

[fandango]

I feel your pain @Swizzles, even though we're talking the same language we're also talking a totally different language sometimes.

 

[TacoBelle]

would like to point out that my post was not a serious one! I was hoping someone would get the Flight of the Conchords "Business Time" reference!

Lol, I totally got the reference, but the OP genuinely was confused about the process. I just facepalmed it so that he might not take it seriously.

 

[Puffin]

Most likely about the same or much worse for men. When talking of orgasm, many men ejaculate only, a physical response with very little pleasure attached to it (no real orgasm, not that they ever know what they are missing).
For both men and women letting go enough to orgasm is a learnt thing, usually it has happened for most in experimentation by the early teens.

Troll! I just cant tell if your trolling us of not! I've never encountered a man who can't orgasm. The idea that as many men as women have the problem seems so so so unlikely. Damn you must be trolling us! Well done.

 

[Nordling]

ha! Well, in Troll's defense, I assume most men who have such a problem don't confide in other men about it.

 

[Rose_Lynna]

I, myself, don't really orgasm from vaginal sex.
Oral sex, on the other hand ;p or just foreplay in general has got me there.

Idk, my husband isn't very good at multitasking and neither am I, haha! So if we're having sex, neither of us efficiently rubs me the right way to achieve orgasm.
But I definitely get off just by watching him be pleasured, and it still feels good regardless, so he'll just help me out later ;p

 

[gonegirl2352]

Women need a lot more context in general to have orgasms easily eg. baby sleeping, feeling good about body, her partner making her feel loved, and a good porn on the big screen etc., these can obviously vary from woman to woman. If everything is in place, she will be ripping clothes off and having multiples while screaming for more.

Also, the weird phenomena of "make-up" sex and abusive couples and the amazing orgasms that ensue...if you read up on the horrible studies done on baby rhesus monkeys where they were "raised" by robot monkeys who would feed them for the first few months of their lives and then they would abuse them with painful shocks...these baby monkeys would go back to their moms and still experience high levels of pleasure regardless of the pain--more pleasure then those raised normally. Of course they would also be miserable and sad at the same time. They became addicted to their abusive mothers due to attachment. Just like drug addicts. A miserable existence but with extremely pleasurable highs.

 

[Violet Dawn]

I would think so. I've had 3 or so when I was a teenager, and they're freaking BS. Like good, but I can never have one anymore. And I definitely upgraded sex partners since then, so I would definitely believe that statistic and I really want to know why it happens like that. Why some people can do it and some people can't, and why it happened with one bf and not my much better current one. Maybe it has something to do with the way the penis leans vs the stature of the woman? I have no idea.

 

[BritneySiren]

I've had trouble during some periods of my life... other times not so much. I guess it depends on whether both parties know what they're doing/ how the girl feels about sex too (as others have touched on). It can be tough though. We're sent so many mixed messages about sex it's no wonder many have issues. I have my own abuse and depression issues so there are periods of time where it is a bit difficult. Sometimes I just have to work through things on my own or get to a comfortable place. This job hasn't made things easier. At least in my experience a lot of ppl think you do this kind of job so they wanna do all this crazy shit when I'm quite boring and really just want to feel cared for and treated gently and with care after so many hours of being called harsh things or judged. Having ppl say to pound this or that in my butthole... I think this job has made me want the total opposite in my personal life. Lots of talking and feeling stuff out. It can be uncomfortable and that might be why many never get there... discomfort makes a lot of ppl stagnate I suppose.

I also think a lot of guys neglect foreplay or pop things in when a girl isn't ready...

 

[marchards]

To add to the confusion, orgasm happens during rape sometimes, and sexual arousal in general is apparently "extremely common" during sexual assault. So sometimes, at least, it's not all about being comfortable and knowing your body and so on.

Maybe human sexuality is complicated beyond our ability to generalize?

 

[Messalina]

Maybe human sexuality is complicated beyond our ability to generalize?

No way!

 

[marchards]

No way!

I'm always suspicious when I see articles by feminists telling me that "all women XXX" or "women usually YYY". I'm not a woman, but I've met enough of them to know that any statement structured like that is probably wrong. You can't even say that "all woman have a vagina", with all the trans people in the world.

 

[Messalina]

I'm not strong at that trans subject, but I doubt that you can call someone a woman if they don't have a vagina. Vagina is one of the main things that anatomically defines a woman.

 

[David_Lee_Loca]

Lots of mental foreplay, stimulate clitoris, massage G spot, give girl 2 minutes of business time (cos 2 minutes in heaven is better than 1 minute in heaven) ... Bish bash bosh job done

Don't forget to take out the recycling. Not part of foreplay, but still very important.

 

[DaddyDominant]

Don't forget to take out the recycling. Not part of foreplay, but still very important.

That's what SHE said!, oh...wait....

Fun Fact...I've never EVER orgasmed during oral sex....I get close but...never there.

 

[marchards]

I'm not strong at that trans subject, but I doubt that you can call someone a woman if they don't have a vagina. Vagina is one of the main things that anatomically defines a woman.

I'm not "strong" either. I don't really care one way or the other. I don't see the harm, though, if a guy is absolutely convinced that he's a woman to the point of getting surgery and having all sorts of unpleasantness thrown at him for many years, to just think of him as a woman. It doesn't interfere with my life in any way, and it seems to be important to him, so who cares?

In any case, it was used as an extreme example of why generalized statements about women (or anyone) are probably wrong. For instance, if a woman had her vagina removed (by a remarkably specific psychopath), would you still consider her a woman? That's a ridiculous hypothesis, but it's in response to your suggestion. What about people who are born with both sets of complete genitalia? It's not common, but it happens.

Gender and sexuality are complicated things. Any attempt to nail them down is doomed to failure.

 

[LittleMsBlack]

I'm not strong at that trans subject, but I doubt that you can call someone a woman if they don't have a vagina. Vagina is one of the main things that anatomically defines a woman.

If you aren't educated on the matter then I'd recommend educating yourself more on it otherwise you can't really form a solid opinion on it other than that person has a penis therefore they must be a man. You're referring to just biology, biologically a transgender woman would be male yes but why do you feel the need to focus so much on that? It seems that by doing so you're dismissing their gender of them being female. Biologically speaking people are born gay as well so why would it not be the same with someone who's transgender? They're simply born into the wrong sex so yes you can call them a woman, because that's their gender, I don't see why the genitalia they were born with should be of any concern to you or anyone else unless you're either some sort of medical practitioner or you're thinking about dating an individual who's transgender.

 

[LittleMsBlack]

Think this is getting off topic though but anyways on the note of biology I remember reading up somewhere that the g spot is sort of located at where the base of the clitoris would be :S idk wish I had sources for that statement lol but it would explain why at least for me it's a lot easier to achieve some sort of g spot orgasm with clitoral stimulation as well?

 

[Messalina]

You're confusing sex and gender identity.

 

[LittleMsBlack]

You're confusing sex and gender identity.

No actually I'm not, I already specified the differences between the two, sex and gender, in the post I made in response to yours. "I'm not strong at that trans subject, but I doubt that you can call someone a woman if they don't have a vagina. Vagina is one of the main things that anatomically defines a woman." Again, you CAN call them a woman because they identify as one, their gender is female, I never tried to say that their sex is, someones genitalia does not define their gender and therefore how they would like and SHOULD be addressed by people, not only is it extremely rude to only fixate on their genitalia/sex (and a bit weird might I add lol) but it's incredibly transphobic to do so and repeatedly try to say that a transgender woman is not a woman because of that, this really isn't a hard concept to grasp.

 

[LittleMsBlack]

Lol so what exactly does your banhammered status mean? Does it mean that you've been banned from posting to this thread because you randomly decided to voice your opinion on being a transphobic... asshat lol in a thread that was originally supposed to be about something entirely different or does that just mean that you've been banned indefinitely? Lol I'm new here.

 

[KayleePond]

Lol so what exactly does your banhammered status mean? Does it mean that you've been banned from posting to this thread because you randomly decided to voice your opinion on being a transphobic... asshat lol in a thread that was originally supposed to be about something entirely different or does that just mean that you've been banned indefinitely? Lol I'm new here.

If he's banned, he can't respond to you! When you see that, it means that someone's been banned from the whole site.

 

[LittleMsBlack]

If he's banned, he can't respond to you! When you see that, it means that someone's been banned from the whole site.

Nice, nice, glad the Ambercutie Forum doesn't tolerate stuff like that, if only MFC could learn take some pointers *caugh, caugh Natzi shows caugh* lol.

 

[Jessi]

I really hope that someday society gets past the idea that all women who can't orgasm are "uptight" or "just havent had the right man yet"

There are some folks out there with physiological differences that make climax really difficult. Despite being a very sexual person and years of chronic...trying.... I never had an orgasm until I bought a vibrator. And even many hours of attentive partners only one ever got me off, and it would take on average an hour, and couldnt happen every time.

Im someone who really enjoys penetrative sex but it does need to be a very specific way and very intense over a period of time that most people can't do....and again the shuttle doesnt take off everytime, ususally falls over and explodes on the runway Its also really different than a clitoral orgasm.