Is America too punitive? Trigger warning..

[Lexi Emerson]

We are women who support other women when they deserve and need it. We don’t hand out support blindly when someone does something seriously wrong just because you’re a woman.

I am very sorry you were strip searched and you feel violated but you also shouldn’t expect to come here and admit to doing something pretty terrible and expect hugs and support. Many of us have been impacted by people acting recklessly, like you did. You’re trying to justify an unjustifiable action and that’s messed up.

 

[venomous]

[

I don't have to support reckless and self centered women just because of their gender. Sorry about the shit you went through, but being a woman does not automatically garner sympathy for dumb behavior.

No, it doesn't. And guess what, when I walk into court I'm not gonna say "ohh but boohoo, grandpa molested me." I'm saying it on a forum because literally online is the only place I can talk about it.

I wasn't asking for a pass on going 30 miles over. It was too fucking fast. But I did it, and I was just asking for a tiny bit of empathy on how sucky the consequences are.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Welcome to Virginia!

Literally NO other state except NC would put someone in jail for going 30 over.

So, are you from VA or NC?

Oh, and before you go whining further on this, you might want to look at this page. They did a nice little comparision of all the state's laws regarding driving offenses, including reckless.

http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/g4289/50-states-speeding-laws-flipbook/

Makes what you said about 1-7 days in the county clink look like getting off easy....



Would you rather pay the fine, do the time and lose your license compared to taking someone's life? Or, worse, making them a paraplegic and fully dependent on someone else when they used to provide for their family? I've seen first hand what these kinds of speeds will do the a car and a human body. Not a pleasant way to go. Whether you're in the car being thrown about violently or being hit by a vehicle going a high rate of traffic.

 

[CharlieCharma]

You want me to prove it? Here's the fucking citation, in all its glory!


No, it doesn't. And guess what, when I walk into court I'm not gonna say "ohh but boohoo, grandpa molested me." I'm saying it on a forum because literally online is the only place I can talk about it.

I wasn't asking for a pass on going 30 miles over. It was too fucking fast. But I did it, and I was just asking for a tiny bit of empathy on how sucky the consequences are.

Alright. Stop. You brought up the molestation thing because you weren't getting sympathy to make everyone who criticized you feel bad. Should you of been strip searched? Only by a female officer. But you don't get to jump from "oh fuck, I'm not being pitied" to "I was molested."(earlier you had just put trauma and escalated that further when pity wasn't being freely given) That's manipulative and fucked up. A lot of women, including me, have been sexually molested, assaulted, and violated. That does not give us a right to put other people's lives in danger and get sympathy for doing so.

 

[venomous]

So, are you from VA or NC?

Oh, and before you go whining further on this, you might want to look at this page. They did a nice little comparision of all the state's laws regarding driving offenses, including reckless.

http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/g4289/50-states-speeding-laws-flipbook/

Makes what you said about 1-7 days in the county clink look like getting off easy....



Would you rather pay the fine, do the time and lose your license compared to taking someone's life? Or, worse, making them a paraplegic and fully dependent on someone else when they used to provide for their family? I've seen first hand what these kinds of speeds will do the a car and a human body. Not a pleasant way to go. Whether you're in the car being thrown about violently or being hit by a vehicle going a high rate of traffic.

I'm in Virginia. I've never heard of another state besides NC that puts people in jail for 30 over.

 

[CharlieCharma]

If you wanted sympathy, a post that would have been worthy was "i fucked up. I did something wrong. I'm going to jail for it. But the strip search was triggering and awful for me." Don't try to get pity for the jail or the ticket. It's the strip search and molestation.

 

[JickyJuly]

I'm sorry you weren't properly protected as a child. That's heartbreaking. This forum is filled with women, yes. But, a good many of us are mothers as well. If you're driving 30+ over the speed limit, you're a danger to someone's kid. The police officer that pulled you over has a mom that worries for his/her safety so that you could get that ticket before someone got hurt. That calls for whatever the penalty is. You don't get to be the victim of every story because you've been one before.

 

[venomous]

Alright. Stop. You brought up the molestation thing because you weren't getting sympathy to make everyone who criticized you feel bad. Should you of been strip searched? Only by a female officer. But you don't get to jump from "oh fuck, I'm not being pitied" to "I was molested." That's manipulative and fucked up. A lot of women, including me, have been sexually molested, assaulted, and violated. That does not give us a right to put other people's lives in danger and get sympathy for doing so.

Did you read my original post? That was the WHOLE point of this post. I literally said I didn't care about being incarcerated in the FIRST post. I just don't want to be strip searched. I don't care if it's a female officer.

It just seems wrong considering if it was one class of misdemeanor lower it would be illegal.

 

[CharlieCharma]

Lawyer tells me I'm looking at 1-7 days in jail. I'm sort of irate. I almost don't even care about the incarceration. I do, ofc, but the strip search thing is making me really livid.

But when you're throwing out jail time as a possibility, given the circumstances...I feel sorrier for myself. It honestly puts me in a position where I can't help but feel like I'm the one being wronged.

A scolding, a fine and a license suspension would do the trick. The judge would get a sincere apology. But the punishment they're talking about isn't fitting the crime.

Did you read my original post? That was the WHOLE point of this post. I literally said I didn't care about being incarcerated in the FIRST post. I just don't want to be strip searched. I don't care if it's a female officer.

It just seems wrong considering if it was one class of misdemeanor lower it would be illegal.

Do you read what you post? You put others peoples lives in danger. It makes sense that they would want to know if you had drugs or alcohol on your person since you behaved so recklessly.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I'm in Virginia. I've never heard of another state besides NC that puts people in jail for 30 over.

Perhaps you should spend some time going through the pics and info on the link I posted. EVERY state has jail time as maximum sentencing of jail. Some just a few days, others for a year.

In many states, 1-7 days is typically done in the municipality jail. When you get to a year, that's county or more likely state facilities.

Take your punishment like a big girl. Up to and including the search if it comes to that. We've all had traumatic experiences. Does that mean we get to skip something mandatory when we break the law or another punishment? Not necessarily.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Do you read what you post? You put others peoples lives in danger. It makes sense that they would want to know if you had drugs or alcohol on your person since you behaved so recklessly.

Drugs, weapons, other prohibited items. There's a difference between a strip search (nothing hidden on body or in folds). It's the body cavity searches that's where they really do the searching for contraband items.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

It just seems wrong considering if it was one class of misdemeanor lower it would be illegal.

Or, you should look at it this way...

If it was one class higher, it'd be a felony and still mandatory.

 

[venomous]

Drugs, weapons, other prohibited items. There's a difference between a strip search (nothing hidden on body or in folds). It's the body cavity searches that's where they really do the searching for contraband items.

Is that necessary? They won't do that full search, why even bring it up?

 

[venomous]

Or, you should look at it this way...

If it was one class higher, it'd be a felony and still mandatory.

Okay, now you're definitely just seeming like you enjoy this and given what I said, that's cruel.

 

[Magnolia]

Look, no matter your punishment or any other debates in this thread, I really just want to bring home two points: that you really understand the gravity of driving recklessly and speeding so quickly, and that you never ever do it again. Please never do that again and pay more attention when you're driving!

 

[Deleted member 37064]

Is that necessary? They won't do that full search, why even bring it up?

Okay, now you're definitely just seeming like you enjoy this and given what I said, that's cruel.

If you go to jail, they have the right to perform a full search if they deem it necessary.

Am I enjoying this? No. I'm just giving you an alternative view instead of you whining about "if it was lower it would be illegal".

Class 1 Misdemeanor punishment

Felony level punishment

And just to make it clear, if you killed someone while driving reckless., that is vehicular manslaughter which is a class 5 felony:

(e) For Class 5 felonies, a term of imprisonment of not less than one year nor more than 10 years, or in the discretion of the jury or the court trying the case without a jury, confinement in jail for not more than 12 months and a fine of not more than $2,500, either or both.

 

[Bocefish]

I am very sorry you were strip searched and you feel violated but you also shouldn’t expect to come here and admit to doing something pretty terrible and expect hugs and support. Many of us have been impacted by people acting recklessly, like you did. You’re trying to justify an unjustifiable action and that’s messed up.

Fake news drama

I was just asking for a tiny bit of empathy on how sucky the consequences are.

 

[venomous]

I just want to say one last thing. I thought about what you all said, and I do see your point. A week in jail won't kill me, but driving over 30 could kill me and kill someone else. And it was Christmas Eve, a particularly horrible time for a tragedy.

The strip search won't kill me, either. You don't talk about things for years, you bottle them up, and then when you finally do start opening up it can be easy to baby yourself. I don't even go to the doctor because of what happened. I need to toughen up.

Laws exist for a reason. I believe that. And up until now I've been a good person, and I still am. But I did do something wrong. And fingerpointing is just a mark of immaturity. And bringing up my volunteer work is an insult to how much it really mean to me...it isn't a bargaining chip. I cheapened.

I think some of the insults went a bit far. But I also understand how being outside the situation gives you a clearer picture of cause and effect.

I'm sorry. I really, really am. Not just for driving that fast, but making excuses. I could have killed someone. I could have killed myself. I could have left my mother without her daughter on Christmas.

Thank you for giving me what I actually need--a little tough love to wise me up and some perspective.

 

[Bocefish]

have to believe she/he is a troll.

Ya think?

Hmmm... he/she or she/he?

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I'm sorry. I really, really am. Not just for driving that fast, but making excuses. I could have killed someone. I could have killed myself. I could have left my mother without her daughter on Christmas.

This may sound a bit grim, or gruesome. But, death, pales in comparison to permanently disabling someone and having them be completely reliable on another person to care for them. Or, even just the partial loss of a body function. Don't get me wrong, loss of life is terrible. But, seeing someone go from fully healthy and self-supportive to dependent on others is the real tragedy. There really are things much worse than death.

Thank you for giving me what I actually need--a little tough love to wise me up and some perspective.

If this is sincere, then this is all anyone here most likely wanted to hear you say. For you to understand and learn what you did, what the possible outcome of it could have been, and acceptnce of the punishment.

 

[venomous]

Ya think?

Hmmm... he/she or she/he?

Here's the citation sug. Unfortunately, all true.

 

[paige_orion]

While I feel bad that your strip-search triggered feelings of past trauma, the majority of your posts seem to be focused on how unfair you feel your potential punishment is, and how you should get a free-pass because you are a good person. Which is what this response is going to focus on.

The law isn't supposed to judge you on how good of a person you are, whether you volunteer or show your ass on cam. That's not what the law is for. The law is supposed to be about justice, about protecting society from bad behaviors, and either punishing or rehabilitating those who break the law. The law doesn't go, "You only get punished if you go 30+ above the speed limit and someone gets hurt." You are so lucky someone didn't get hurt. You made a mistake, a lapse in judgement - but someone could have died. That isn't a joke. That is something very serious, and it doesn't seem like you really understand that, or you would not complain about being treated unfairly in terms of the jail-time.

The time spent in jail isn't solely to make you suffer or to ruin your week. It's supposed to let you know that there are consequences for your behavior, to show you how serious the offense was, and to help ensure it will not happen again. Or next time, someone might die because of your mistake. But from all of your posts, it doesn't sound like you truly accept how serious your actions were. If you did, you wouldn't act like you are being the victim. You wouldn't act like what you did was no big deal. If you are truly as good of a person as you are saying, good enough to get a free-pass on endangering the lives of everyone else around you... I'd think you'd want to take responsibility for your actions, and be thankful it wasn't worse.

Is it only a big deal if someone innocent gets hurt? Why does someone have to get hurt before a punishment is necessary? Honestly, I'd rather people take a week of jail-time to reflect on their behavior, accept that they did something wrong and make a conscious effort to make better choices, if that means innocent people stay alive. Especially if the alternative means letting dangerous behavior take a free-pass with zero consequences only until someone's live is irrevocably shattered because of one person's selfish behavior.

I will be one of the first people to stand up and say that our country has some pretty stupid laws, and some of which I don't believe should have punishment at all. Especially laws in which no one could ever be affected or harmed except the law-breaker. But this... This isn't one of them. These are laws put in place to protect everyone. Driving is dangerous. So many people have lost their lives because of tragic accidents and mistakes. With driving, reckless behavior endangers everyone. Driving 30 miles above the speedlimit is absolutely INSANE to me. I'm a slowpoke grandma behind the wheel who almost never speeds because I can't even go 4 miles over the limit without getting anxious. So just thinking of your speed makes me feel absolutely nauseous. You are so lucky you weren't hurt and no one else was hurt too.

If you cannot accept responsibility or even acknowledge the recklessness of your behavior, and continue to act like the victim in this situation.... I think seven days of jail-time might be too little. You say you are worried about being jailed with murderers... Yet I am sure some of those murderers feel like they are good people, who made a single mistake, perhaps who had a tragic past of their own, who feel as if they should be forgiven. Accidents happen and people die, and being "good" or "bad" doesn't come into play there. You are so lucky you didn't lose control of your vehicle at those speeds, or you might have been a murderer too. That's how serious your behavior was. Speeding that badly is just as dangerous as drunk driving, in my book. Which is why I can't support either behavior, no matter how good or kind or amazing the person who is behind the wheel. It's stupid and selfish and terrifying.

The quote says, "Justice is blind." Which means, the law is supposed to be objective and impartial. The law isn't supposed to decide whether someone is good or not. They are supposed to decide the proper punishment to ensure you don't do it again. If you risk the lives of other people so recklessly and so unapologetically, the system is supposed to hand out consequences. Preferably before someone dies because of it.

Which is why a week of jail-time isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. Realize that you messed up. Accept responsibility. Do your time. And don't repeat these actions again. I'd hate for someone have to get hurt before you learned that driving so recklessly is a dangerous thing to do.

Edit: I spent too long typing this up and after posting, saw the post you made after further reflecting, taking responsibility for your actions. I am glad to see that! And I really and truly hope that this will be a lesson that truly sinks in and is never repeated! Your life (and the lives of so many other innocent people) are too valuable to be risked like that!

 

[venomous]

This may sound a bit grim, or gruesome. But, death, pales in comparison to permanently disabling someone and having them be completely reliable on another person to care for them. Or, even just the partial loss of a body function. Don't get me wrong, loss of life is terrible. But, seeing someone go from fully healthy and self-supportive to dependent on others is the real tragedy. There really are things much worse than death.



If this is sincere, then this is all anyone here most likely wanted to hear you say. For you to understand and learn what you did, what the possible outcome of it could have been, and acceptnce of the punishment.

It is sincere, but I question your sincerity. You didn't need to bring up the full cavity thing after what I said. It wasn't relevant and made me feel creepy.

 

[venomous]

While I feel bad that your strip-search triggered feelings of past trauma, the majority of your posts seem to be focused on how unfair you feel your potential punishment is, and how you should get a free-pass because you are a good person. Which is what this response is going to focus on.

The law isn't supposed to judge you on how good of a person you are, whether you volunteer or show your ass on cam. That's not what the law is for. The law is supposed to be about justice, about protecting society from bad behaviors, and either punishing or rehabilitating those who break the law. The law doesn't go, "You only get punished if you go 30+ above the speed limit and someone gets hurt." You are so lucky someone didn't get hurt. You made a mistake, a lapse in judgement - but someone could have died. That isn't a joke. That is something very serious. And altho

The time spent in jail isn't solely to make you suffer or to ruin your week. It's supposed to let you know that there are consequences for your behavior, to show you how serious the offense was, and to help ensure it will not happen again. Or next time, someone might die because of your mistake. But from all of your posts, it doesn't sound like you truly accept how serious your actions were. If you did, you wouldn't act like you are being the victim. You wouldn't act like what you did was no big deal. If you are truly as good of a person as you are saying, good enough to get a free-pass on endangering the lives of everyone else around you... I'd think you'd want to take responsibility for your actions, and be thankful it wasn't worse.

Is it only a big deal if someone innocent gets hurt? Why does someone have to get hurt before a punishment is necessary? Honestly, I'd rather people take a week of jail-time to reflect on their behavior, accept that they did something wrong and make a conscious effort to make better choices, if that means innocent people stay alive. Especially if the alternative means letting dangerous behavior take a free-pass with zero consequences only until someone's live is irrevocably shattered because of one person's selfish behavior.

I will be one of the first people to stand up and say that our country has some pretty stupid laws, and some of which I don't believe should have punishment at all. Especially laws in which no one could ever be affected or harmed except the law-breaker. But this... This isn't one of them. These are laws put in place to protect everyone. Driving is dangerous. So many people have lost their lives because of tragic accidents and mistakes. With driving, reckless behavior endangers everyone. Driving 30 miles above the speedlimit is absolutely INSANE to me. I'm a slowpoke grandma behind the wheel who almost never speeds because I can't even go 4 miles over the limit without getting anxious. So just thinking of your speed makes me feel absolutely nauseous. You are so lucky you weren't hurt and no one else was hurt too.

If you cannot accept responsibility or even acknowledge the recklessness of your behavior, and continue to act like the victim in this situation.... I think seven days of jail-time might be too little. You say you are worried about being jailed with murderers... Yet I am sure some of those murderers feel like they are good people, who made a single mistake, perhaps who had a tragic past of their own, who feel as if they should be forgiven. Accidents happen and people die, and being "good" or "bad" doesn't come into play there. You are so lucky you didn't lose control of your vehicle at those speeds, or you might have been a murderer too. That's how serious your behavior was. Speeding that badly is just as dangerous as drunk driving, in my book. Which is why I can't support either behavior, no matter how good or kind or amazing the person who is behind the wheel. It's stupid and selfish and terrifying.

The quote says, "Justice is blind." Which means, the law is supposed to be objective and impartial. The law isn't supposed to decide whether someone is good or not. They are supposed to decide the proper punishment to ensure you don't do it again. If you risk the lives of other people so recklessly and so unapologetically, the system is supposed to hand out consequences. Preferably before someone dies because of it.

Which is why a week of jail-time isn't that bad in the grand scheme of things. Realize that you messed up. Accept responsibility. Do your time. And don't repeat these actions again. I'd hate for someone have to get hurt before you learned that driving so recklessly is a dangerous thing to do.

I understand your point, it's a long post so I assume you wrote it before my last one popped up. I did take accountability.

It's easy to react emotionally when something tugs at a strong emotion, but if I'm really being honest, I don't think I deserve a pass. I'm not fragile, I'm not porcelain, I won't break from a week in jail.

I get it. The comments were rough, but in a sick way, this actually made me feel better. Self pity doesn't get you far in life. In AA, they say to admit your wrongdoings right away and apologize. That's part of being a better person.

 

[Emberblaze]

I actually can't believe some of the shit said in this thread. I'm actually disgusted with some of the people here and I hope people reread some of their shit and realize they went to far. There's a difference between someone that is just a reckless asshole and does this all the time and a person that made a one time mistake and we don't have enough info to know which she is. Yeah she should be scolded but some of you were just awful.

Now let me poke my Canadian face further into this. 30 miles over the limit is 50 km. Where I live this is a "stunting charge" and this happens so rarely this shit actually makes it into the news when it happens because it goes into public police records unlike say a normal speeding charge (which I can wake up every morning and read, so that news companies can't be overly crooked).

There's a minimum fine of just under $2.5k, vehicle impoundment and an immediate seven-day licence suspension.

Now that license suspension may (and usually will) end up even longer than seven days at the decision of the court. That seven days is to keep that person off the road ASAP. You will likely go to court and lose your license for 6 months to a year plus. You will also almost 100 percent have to go to some sort of class put on by the dept of motor vehicles. Anyone who loses their license usually does and I heard from an ex with drunk driving charges (now he was a shitty human) that they make you look at a bunch of graphic stuff there too teach you about how you might impact lives etc.

At court they take into account of certain things like whether you were racing someone, texting, under the influence etc to decide to maximize the fine.

I think that's a reasonable punishment for a first time offense. I do think that the US is WAYYYY too caught up on putting people in jail.

I do not see jail necessary for this. Yes it's really fucking serious and awful but I don't think jail is the answer.

Now for the OP I'm really sorry that this is bringing up trauma for you. This is a shitty way to have to face that trauma. Is there someone in your life like a partner that could maybe help you with getting a little more comfortable with that area? Or do you have time to see a therapist before hand to try and unpack some of those issues before the jail time?

Someone recorded me against my will in a really bad way as a minor and I struggled with the idea of any type of "surveillance" for a long time and I think jail where someone might look at you at any time might have fucked me up bad. I actually started camming to deal with some of my feelings "taking the power back" sort of speak. But I was able to do that on my own terms and my own time before being forced to for any reason. So I do have some empathy for how you are feeling.

I think some people in this thread can't find that empathy (and have been downright rude about the trauma) because they are too angry about what you did.

Guys/gals you can be angry with a person's actions and still feel empathy about how they are feeling. The two can co-exist. There's nothing wrong with saying "Jesus Christ how could you do that and also I'm sorry this is bringing up past trauma for you." People are not just their mistakes.

 

[paige_orion]

I understand your point, it's a long post so I assume you wrote it before my last one popped up. I did take accountability.

It's easy to react emotionally when something tugs at a strong emotion, but if I'm really being honest, I don't think I deserve a past. I'm not fragile, I'm not porcelain, I won't break from a week in jail.

I get it. The comments were rough, but in a sick way, this actually made me feel better. Self pity doesn't get you far in life. In AA, they say to admit your wrongdoings right away and apologize. That's part of being a better person.

Haha, I just re-edited my post to say that I spent too long typing it up! So I am really really effing glad to see you taking accountability. Everyone makes mistakes, and no one here is perfect. But taking responsibility and growing from them is definitely going to get you further in life! I mean, don't get me wrong, jail-time is no picnic in the park, I'm sure, and you're allowed to be anxious about it. In these parts, we're a lot more supportive of anxiety over scary consequences like jailtime than we are of people trying to get out of justified consequences, y'know? Growing and learning is hard, man. But I'm glad you're alive to be able to grow and learn! And everyone else is tooooo!

 

[venomous]

I actually can't believe some of the shit said in this thread. I'm actually disgusted with some of the people here and I hope people reread some of their shit and realize they went to far. There's a difference between someone that is just a reckless asshole and does this all the time and a person that made a one time mistake and we don't have enough info to know which she is. Yeah she should be scolded but some of you were just awful.

Now let me poke my Canadian face further into this. 30 miles over the limit is 50 km. Where I live this is a "stunting charge" and this happens so rarely this shit actually makes it into the news when it happens because it goes into public police records unlike say a normal speeding charge (which I can wake up every morning and read, so that news companies can't be overly crooked).

There's a minimum fine of just under $2.5k, vehicle impoundment and an immediate seven-day licence suspension.

Now that license suspension may (and usually will) end up even longer than seven days at the decision of the court. That seven days is to keep that person off the road ASAP. You will likely go to court and lose your license for 6 months to a year plus. You will also almost 100 percent have to go to some sort of class put on by the dept of motor vehicles. Anyone who loses their license usually does and I heard from an ex with drunk driving charges (now he was a shitty human) that they make you look at a bunch of graphic stuff there too teach you about how you might impact lives etc.

At court they take into account of certain things like whether you were racing someone, texting, under the influence etc to decide to maximize the fine.

I think that's a reasonable punishment for a first time offense. I do think that the US is WAYYYY too caught up on putting people in jail.

I do not see jail necessary for this. Yes it's really fucking serious and awful but I don't think jail is the answer.

Now for the OP I'm really sorry that this is bringing up trauma for you. This is a shitty way to have to face that trauma. Is there someone in your life like a partner that could maybe help you with getting a little more comfortable with that area? Or do you have time to see a therapist before hand to try and unpack some of those issues before the jail time?

Someone recorded me against my will in a really bad way as a minor and I struggled with the idea of any type of "surveillance" for a long time and I think jail where someone might look at you at any time might have fucked me up bad. I actually started camming to deal with some of my feelings "taking the power back" sort of speak. But I was able to do that on my own terms and my own time before being forced to for any reason. So I do have some empathy for how you are feeling.

I think some people in this thread can't find that empathy (and have been downright rude about the trauma) because they are too angry about what you did.

Guys/gals you can be angry with a person's actions and still feel empathy about how they are feeling. The two can co-exist. There's nothing wrong with saying "Jesus Christ how could you do that and also I'm sorry this is bringing up past trauma for you." People are not just their mistakes.

Thank you for your comment. You're very sweet. Like I said, I do think people went a bit far but I think I was wrong to dismiss the severity of the situation, and I feel bad about that. I think maybe they were trying to knock some sense into me, and it was effective.

My current boyfriend doesn't know about my childhood stuff. He just knows that I'm "rigid" as he puts it. Like I said, I haven't been to doctors in years and it's like a specific thing I'm really weird about. Butt stuff especially is just a really bizarre area for me.

The only people in my real life who know about it are my therapist and my best friend and my ex. But I'm not really good at finding work arounds. Even talking about it as much as I have has made me a bit nauseous. I was trying to "glaze over" the specifics, lol.

But your comment was kind. And I appreciate that.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Under 90? Even 90 not really that unsafe, at least in good conditions, open straight road. Jail time does seem a little extreme.

 

[Emberblaze]

Thank you for your comment. You're very sweet. Like I said, I do think people went a bit far but I think I was wrong to dismiss the severity of the situation, and I feel bad about that. I think maybe they were trying to knock some sense into me, and it was effective.

My current boyfriend doesn't know about my childhood stuff. He just knows that I'm "rigid" as he puts it. Like I said, I haven't been to doctors in years and it's like a specific thing I'm really weird about. Butt stuff especially is just a really bizarre area for me.

The only people in my real life who know about it are my therapist and my best friend and my ex. But I'm not really good at finding work arounds. Even talking about it as much as I have has made me a bit nauseous. I was trying to "glaze over" the specifics, lol.

But your comment was kind. And I appreciate that.

If your therapist is just a general therapist maybe they can recommend a therapist that focuses more on dealing with sexual things. If you can afford it financially you could see both and they could share notes.

There's something very powerful and magical about taking your sexuality back after trauma and I hope you get there.

I will say healing isn't linear and sometimes you have to tear yourself down to build yourself up again. Many times I've figuratively ripped open my wounds or had them ripped open by others and then came out stronger. I hope you are able to find a way to do that with this situation instead of being further traumatized.

 

[JickyJuly]

Now let me poke my Canadian face further into this. 30 miles over the limit is 50 km. Where I live this is a "stunting charge" and this happens so rarely this shit actually makes it into the news when it happens

It's not uncommon here at all for people to drive this way. I think that's where some of the lashing is coming from. We see this all the time. To have someone like this go flying by on the highway is going to happen pretty much any time you're out there. Also, as much as I think the drug war and police brutality are a problem, it does get a little tedious hearing that the police are "unfair" blah blah over a traffic stop. They do risk their lives. They're out there for a reason, and many cities don't have enough of them to be at all safe.