I'm tired of people using there kids, Animals and stuff like that...

[mutantdonut]

I made a few rules for myself under similar, if not the same, circumstances of how i feel charitable.

I'm usually sympathetic toward anyone who's struggling with finances, i'll gladly give whatever i can because i've been there and seen others been there. However, if it's a repetitive act of "OMG i need X amount or else my child will starve/i'll be out on the streets" being brought up every day/week/month, then i'm completely turned off and will cease any more contributions. Because if i get caught up with a model's recurring problems, i'm no longer enjoying myself as a consumer and feel burdened by someone else's situation, as selfish as that might sound. I'm sorry but i hafta walk away at that point.

There will be times, for example, that if a model is not necessarily in dire financial stress but could use a little something here and there because she's saving for a new car so that she'll no longer take the bus, i will gladly donate a little.

In the sense that a model expects their child or sick dog/cat should be reason enough for tips is really off-putting. Also, asking for sympathy tips because the model had a shitty day [e.g. because her boss yelled at her, she failed her midterm, she has a really bad headache, etc] doesn't rub me correctly, since i believe those situations deserve a nice sweet hug, but i don't believe it should be monetized for it.

 

[Sevrin]

I think talking about kids, pets, or whatever is mostly just making conversation. A lot of cam models share things about their lives, and, well, they do spend their income on kids and pets and whatever else the OP holds sacred.

 

[mynameisbob84]

Maybe I only have cool cam girls on my Twitter but I don't think I've ever seen this happen (though I don't doubt that it does). Some of the girls on my feed are mothers and will mention their kids from time to time anecdotally, but I've never seen them use their kids and their well-being as an incentive to tip. If they did, I'd likely think less of them. Cam girls aren't charity cases, they shouldn't be seen as charity cases, and in my opinion, they shouldn't present themselves as charity cases.

And if they're not making enough money camming to feed their kids, as harsh as it may sound, they need to spend less time on Twitter pleading with relative strangers to feed their kids for them, and spend more time finding a source of income that's reliable and covers the costs associated with being a parent.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Yes, you are right that guys don't like to hear sob stories from models. Besides, if it's obvious that you're desperate for money, you're gonna have some dudes taking advantage of that...expecting you to "finger ass bb" for 10 tokens. Or dudes coming outta the woodwork with "I have a business proposition for you" messages. Lmao. If you're really struggling, look into adding other "eggs to your basket." Look into joining another cam site(s)...clip site(s)...phone sex site(s)...texting site(s)...I hear some ladies are enjoying that DreamLover site. Hell, look into non-adult stuff too, if you want...like Amazon MTurk. There are all kinds of work from home blogs and resources out there. The possibilities are endless.

Getting back on topic...sometimes models get members in their rooms who make a remark or ask a question where it just warrants the response "Because I have to earn money as soon as possible." I think it's fine to say that. I'll try to give you an example (and sorry for the long-winded post):

A model cams on MyFreeCams (which pays on the 1st and 16th of every month) and ImLive (she gets daily pay on ImLive), but doesn't cam on the sites simultaneously. She has a bill payment due in one week. The moment the MFC pay period ends, she intends to log off MFC and log right onto ImLive, but some MFC member is complaining "WTF....you're leaving? Why don't you hang out a little longer?" That's when I would tell him that I need to log off MFC and log in to IML because I need to make money as soon as I can. And he's welcome to come visit me on there and go private...

The above example isn't me giving a sob story or anything. It's simply explaining to a whining member why I'm logging off at the time that I am...reminding him (in the most polite way possible) that I'm a person who needs to earn money just like everybody else.

 

[Dream Alien]

Yes I agree completely!! Or complaining that they havent made enough tokens...ugh!

 

[Dream Alien]

Everyone needs to be happy with what they have earned, no matter the amount! Sometimes there are slow times on cam, but thats part of it!

 

[Mila_]

A guy I know had his wife diagnosed with a very aggressive type of cancer and she died one month later. He was left a widower at 35 with 2 kids. Really sad story. But then he created a gofundme page telling the story of how his wife died with pictures of his children asking for 50k to help him cover his children's expenses and adjust to his new life. Maybe it is me, but it felt wrong to see someone use the death of a wife in this manner. It felt to me like he was using her as a prop, or as a marketing tool to generate income. And it is the same feeling I have gotten a few times when I stumble upon a profile of a model who tells the story of how her dog needs surgery and to please cover the expenses with a goal in numbers. I once even saw a model put a deadline on her goal explaining that if she didnt get the tokens by then her pet was going to die. Really bad stuff. I have never seen anyone do this with kids but it would be 50 shades of wrong.

 

[Bocefish]

"When There are a million people a day feeling entitled to see my body or me perform for free then yeah, it becomes an issue. "

Methinks you should probably rethink the whole entitlement theory of things, not that you'd give a shit, just sayin'.

 

[gudheadt]

A guy I know had his wife diagnosed with a very aggressive type of cancer and she died one month later. He was left a widower at 35 with 2 kids. Really sad story. But then he created a gofundme page telling the story of how his wife died with pictures of his children asking for 50k to help him cover his children's expenses and adjust to his new life.

i dont really have a oppinion on that because i dont know the full details, like he could have a shitty job paying him almost nothing, been debt because of cancer treatment or a ray of other thing. (but yes i will agree that it do sound kind of like he where trying to us the death of he's wife to score some pocket change)

I once even saw a model put a deadline on her goal explaining that if she didnt get the tokens by then her pet was going to die. Really bad stuff. I have never seen anyone do this with kids but it would be 50 shades of wrong.

this is a werry extreme case, but yeah that is Really dumb, and that person should have been banned from the site.

 

[RebeccaT]

It's all about degrees. One of my favourite ladies recently moved house and guys are happily funding the move, the new nursery and buying gifts for the new baby. Another model frequently tweets that her children are hungry and there's no food in the cupboards, they have no dinner that very night, please email fast food vouchers.

If you're in such dire straits then I think some re-evaluation is called for.

Incidentally, judging by the latter lady's general lifestyle this is all fake. Either that or she has some serious priority issues.

People hit hard times, it can happen to any of us but for some it seems the norm.

 

[QuietLurker69]

Maybe I only have cool cam girls on my Twitter but I don't think I've ever seen this happen (though I don't doubt that it does). Some of the girls on my feed are mothers and will m

A guy I know had his wife diagnosed with a very aggressive type of cancer and she died one month later. He was left a widower at 35 with 2 kids. Really sad story. But then he created a gofundme page telling the story of how his wife died with pictures of his children asking for 50k to help him cover his children's expenses and adjust to his new life. Maybe it is me, but it felt wrong to see someone use the death of a wife in this manner. It felt to me like he was using her as a prop, or as a marketing tool to generate income. And it is the same feeling I have gotten a few times when I stumble upon a profile of a model who tells the story of how her dog needs surgery and to please cover the expenses with a goal in numbers. I once even saw a model put a deadline on her goal explaining that if she didnt get the tokens by then her pet was going to die. Really bad stuff. I have never seen anyone do this with kids but it would be 50 shades of wrong.

How much did treatment cost?
How about the fact that the family just lost a income stream
Funeral cost?
Did they have life insurance

Without any of these questions it's really hard to make a judgment on whether or not this was taking advantage of a sad situation.

 

[Teagan]

And it is the same feeling I have gotten a few times when I stumble upon a profile of a model who tells the story of how her dog needs surgery and to please cover the expenses with a goal in numbers. I once even saw a model put a deadline on her goal explaining that if she didnt get the tokens by then her pet was going to die. Really bad stuff. I have never seen anyone do this with kids but it would be 50 shades of wrong.

I really dont like this. I get if girls are putting out there to just tip them cause of something with no offers in return but as someone who was in this exact situation before Ive done this. I had a kitten a couple years ago who got an infected uterus and needed emergency surgery and I needed help dammit and I asked for it. She got sick suddenly and had tissue coming out of her and I took her to the vet who told me she had a raging fever with infected uterus (pyometra) and needed a night there to try to get the fever down and emergency surgery the following day with another night there and vast doses of meds after. Did I have $700 to drop on her at the moment? No. So I wrote up all the info on her and why I needed the money and needed it in 48 hours cause without it she would die. 100% the truth and the members in my room actually knew who she was cause she was on cam with me all the time. (Not sexual of course but CB allowed pets and she was a clingy cat. My members loved her on cam.) So yeah it wasnt some mysterious pet no one who knew me knew about. I also didnt go out and get her not being able to afford her but my bf at the time literally found her in the street sick and abandoned. We fixed her first illnesses of URI, fleas, diarrhea but she got sick again. But I blogged on tumblr and posted to twitter and asked the girls here to please RT for me. My plan was to work the entire 48 hours if it took that to raise it to save her life. I offered everything from customs to pics to shows in return. Very luckily girls retweeted me and I was able to raise the money to pay for her to get her surgery and after I showed proof on cam of her stitches and paperwork of the bill (not showing the location of the vet for safety of course) but I did it. Honestly sometimes just life happens and pets do get sick and I did and was prepared to do whatever I had to do to get her that surgery and save her. To me that's not bad stuff or 50 shades of wrong. Again if girls are just using cam time to ask for charity I do not agree but that was not the case with me and just asking cause I needed help and was on a time limit with her doesnt mean I used her as a prop. To me there is a distinction when girls expect help to girls looking to work for that help or tips and lumping them in together is messed up as is just stating something is wrong with putting it out there you need help and yes sometimes that help has a time limit attached to it. If you ever had a sick pet you loved beyond belief would know that and if you didnt have the money to save them you too would do whatever you had to in order to save them. Just my humble opinion of course. I do know some girls make up pets of illnesses and that shit is wrong but sometimes it's true and when the girl like me is willing to work for and show proof it's another story to me.

 

[Mila_]

I really dont like this. I get if girls are putting out there to just tip them cause of something with no offers in return but as someone who was in this exact situation before Ive done this. I had a kitten a couple years ago who got an infected uterus and needed emergency surgery and I needed help dammit and I asked for it. She got sick suddenly and had tissue coming out of her and I took her to the vet who told me she had a raging fever with infected uterus (pyometra) and needed a night there to try to get the fever down and emergency surgery the following day with another night there and vast doses of meds after. Did I have $700 to drop on her at the moment? No. So I wrote up all the info on her and why I needed the money and needed it in 48 hours cause without it she would die. 100% the truth and the members in my room actually knew who she was cause she was on cam with me all the time. (Not sexual of course but CB allowed pets and she was a clingy cat. My members loved her on cam.) So yeah it wasnt some mysterious pet no one who knew me knew about. I also didnt go out and get her not being able to afford her but my bf at the time literally found her in the street sick and abandoned. We fixed her first illnesses of URI, fleas, diarrhea but she got sick again. But I blogged on tumblr and posted to twitter and asked the girls here to please RT for me. My plan was to work the entire 48 hours if it took that to raise it to save her life. I offered everything from customs to pics to shows in return. Very luckily girls retweeted me and I was able to raise the money to pay for her to get her surgery and after I showed proof on cam of her stitches and paperwork of the bill (not showing the location of the vet for safety of course) but I did it. Honestly sometimes just life happens and pets do get sick and I did and was prepared to do whatever I had to do to get her that surgery and save her. To me that's not bad stuff or 50 shades of wrong. Again if girls are just using cam time to ask for charity I do not agree but that was not the case with me and just asking cause I needed help and was on a time limit with her doesnt mean I used her as a prop. To me there is a distinction when girls expect help to girls looking to work for that help or tips and lumping them in together is messed up as is just stating something is wrong with putting it out there you need help and yes sometimes that help has a time limit attached to it. If you ever had a sick pet you loved beyond belief would know that and if you didnt have the money to save them you too would do whatever you had to in order to save them. Just my humble opinion of course. I do know some girls make up pets of illnesses and that shit is wrong but sometimes it's true and when the girl like me is willing to work for and show proof it's another story to me.

I am sorry about what happened to your dog, and didn't want you to feel judged by my post. Of course you should do everything in your power to save a pet you love. But I still personally don't like it when I see this going on. Mostly I feel like the model is guilt tripping me and that she should have an emergency fund for these things. I would feel really embarrassed if something like that ever happened to me and I didnt have the money to cover the expense, it would feel like a personal failure and I would probably do everything in my power to keep anyone from knowing. It is a matter of personal taste though and I do know many members love helping out someone in need.

I feel differently about positive goals like... creating a goal to buy a new bike, or helping a model to move into a new place, things like that make me feel excited about the prospect of making it happen. I do realize everything is a matter of personal taste with these things.

In regards to the gofundme page for your deceased wife... It feels to me like a desecration of her memory to use it like that. There are more dignified ways to ask for help than posting a story with pictures on a site that features kids asking for an xBox and frat boys asking for money for trips to Ibiza. Perhaps the reason is because I am jewish and so is this friend, and in our community things are handled by word of mouth. People tell you "so and so lost his wife and is having a hard time, this person created a bank account for charity if you want make donations here". The account is NEVER created by the person in need. It is always created by a third party, and people donate anonymously because for us jews donating money to someone in need must be done in quiet, it isnt something you brag about.

 

[mutantdonut]

i dont really have a oppinion on that because i dont know the full details, like he could have a shitty job paying him almost nothing, been debt because of cancer treatment or a ray of other thing. (but yes i will agree that it do sound kind of like he where trying to us the death of he's wife to score some pocket change)

With that type of circumstance, it's a matter of intent from the individual posting the gofundme page. There's a difference between, "I genuinely need help paying for basic needs" versus "I'm gonna cash in from telling the story about my deceased wife."

 

[Teagan]

Yeah it'd be smart to have an emergency fund for things however with an estimated 45 million americans are living in poverty and emergency fund is sometimes the stuff of dreams. It certainly was for me at the time. It wasnt a choice I made to not have one. When you need help you should ask for it and it's despicable to try to shame people for doing so and calling it personal taste. And when you say things like how you would feel like a personal failure that absolutely comes off like judging. So does saying there are more dignified ways of doing something and it's a desecration of her memory. Thats the same kind of mindset of making people with food stamps feel like crap as well when hard times hit and telling them they should just keep quiet. Or judging how the Feed the Children or ASPCA market their commercials asking for donations to help. Or telling a woman in a womans shelter she should have made better life choices. Why the judgment at all to begin with?
There's always advantage takers in the world but asking for help when you do need it should not be embarrassing at all and it's the people who do judge and that make it that way to begin with. If you arent in someone elses shoes or lived their life or know a thing about them you have no right or reason or logical sense to comment about them and how they are dealing with a bad situation. It's all fun to say how you would handle something when you're not the one in it but you never know until you are. I mean we are human beings with the capabilities to help each other out and that's a great thing to do. I dont give a shit on what platform someone asks for it, if I can I will and i'm not gonna add in pot shots of how they go about it. The last thing people need when they're down is to be kicked.
That's great if you grew up in a community and how they handle things but not everybody has a community or family to help them and i'm sure you know that. Nor does everyone have someone else to raise funds for them. Now I dont know this guys story so i'm not gonna say he needs the help but you dont know him either so you shouldnt be saying he is desecrating her memory or telling him he should be more dignified. Thats like WTF to me to pass that kinda judgement on a stranger who if he does need help is being shamed for it.

 

[NataliaGrey]

I am sorry about what happened to your dog, and didn't want you to feel judged by my post. Of course you should do everything in your power to save a pet you love. But I still personally don't like it when I see this going on. Mostly I feel like the model is guilt tripping me and that she should have an emergency fund for these things. I would feel really embarrassed if something like that ever happened to me and I didnt have the money to cover the expense, it would feel like a personal failure and I would probably do everything in my power to keep anyone from knowing. It is a matter of personal taste though and I do know many members love helping out someone in need.

I feel differently about positive goals like... creating a goal to buy a new bike, or helping a model to move into a new place, things like that make me feel excited about the prospect of making it happen. I do realize everything is a matter of personal taste with these things.

In regards to the gofundme page for your deceased wife... It feels to me like a desecration of her memory to use it like that. There are more dignified ways to ask for help than posting a story with pictures on a site that features kids asking for an xBox and frat boys asking for money for trips to Ibiza. Perhaps the reason is because I am jewish and so is this friend, and in our community things are handled by word of mouth. People tell you "so and so lost his wife and is having a hard time, this person created a bank account for charity if you want make donations here". The account is NEVER created by the person in need. It is always created by a third party, and people donate anonymously because for us jews donating money to someone in need must be done in quiet, it isnt something you brag about.

I think you're kind of missing her point. Things like dignity don't matter when you're doing what you feel needs to be done to save something incredibly important to you. Would you rather be embarrassed or have your pet die? If those are the only options someone felt they had, and they really had to pick with no time to come up with other options, then I would hope they would just swallow their pride. It's the same with that widower. Given the situation, he could be in a bad financial spot, but that doesn't mean he wants his children to feel the burden, especially after losing their mother. I'm sorry, but the memory of my dead spouse will always matter less to me than the wellbeing of my living children. Sure, it could all be a scam, as could the camgirl with the dying pet. Both are probably aware that it makes them look sketchy, but they need to put it out there in some hope that people will give them the benefit of the doubt because they NEED the help.

No honest, hard-working cam girl wants to put up a "negative" sob story goal, because you're right, it's not fun for members. Some guys may be white knights and seek this sort of thing out, but in the long-term, it's probably not going to be lucrative. It's not good business. But sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. It's great to have emergency funds, I hope everyone does, but that's frankly a luxury. Sometimes things happen that we can't be prepared for.

I definitely agree that using your own or others' misery to profit is pretty low. I understand why a member would choose not to contribute to a pity fund because it's not his responsibility. The member should spend his money however he pleases. Same as always, don't like it, click next model. Even without tipping, though, a little sympathy now and then doesn't hurt.

ETA: I don't actually have a dead spouse or kids, I'm just speaking hypothetically.

 

[gudheadt]

so i dont believe there is anything wrong with asking for help. it can be nessesary, and if that's the options you had then darn it i would take it as well! i dont think its demining or anything in that regard, simply because Literaly everyone comes in a siutation where they need help in one form or another.

I had a kitten a couple years ago who got an infected uterus and needed emergency surgery and I needed help dammit and I asked for it. She got sick suddenly and had tissue coming out of her and I took her to the vet who told me she had a raging fever with infected uterus (pyometra) and needed a night there to try to get the fever down and emergency surgery the following day with another night there and vast doses of meds after. Did I have $700 to drop on her at the moment?

this story really hit at home with me, i have pets (1 cat and 2 dogs) and would do anything to help them if they got sick or anything like that. you did the right thing, most people would properly have killed the animal so they would not have to pay out that amounght of money. or maby im just delutede and live in hillBilly land.

 

[RebeccaT]

Asking for help now and then, when genuinely needed takes some courage.

When I had to stop working for cancer treatment I didn't ask but some very wonderful people gave anyway. Even with their help I ran up some debts and when I returned to camming I did ask. I hate that I asked. Some regulars helped but some models were bitchy beyond belief.

Genuine need is one thing...a ruse is another.

 

[Teagan]

this story really hit at home with me, i have pets (1 cat and 2 dogs) and would do anything to help them if they got sick or anything like that. you did the right thing, most people would properly have killed the animal so they would not have to pay out that amounght of money. or maby im just delutede and live in hillBilly land.

There is definitely different lines of thinking to some people about pets and their needs. My dad born and raised in Kentucky was full on hillbilly and he had more than one pet put down while I grew up cause of his refusal to care for their bills. Living in TN for some years was also shocking to see how people treated animals there. I hate to say it's a southern thing cause i've met plenty who were the opposite line of thinking but the numbers of shelters and euthanasia and homeless pets there doesnt lie I guess. There's always exceptions of course.


I will say never while asking for help for kitten did I ever feel ashamed or like a personal failure. The opposite actually. It felt amazing to take in this sweet loving lil girl and to be able bodied enough and have a platform to ask and work to help save her life and give her an amazing chance at growing up she would not have otherwise had. I was proud of myself and grateful to have the help for her. I was never embarrassed cause I was smart enough to know better. I never felt anything but proud of myself to accomplish that goal for her.

 

[Missprettypink]

I do agree that you don't want to appear desperate on cam, that is not the image you want to put forward as a performer and I believe some girls may be taking advantage of the clients' kindness. However, my clients have become my friends to the point where I miss them dearly when I am on a period break, so I can talk to them about anything, when I talk about trying to get a new washing machine, I am not trying to gain sympathy, it is because they are my friends, and I often get long privates to fund whatever I am working toward, My clients will never tell you that I do this all the time. I get on cam and have genuine fun and some nights I make nothing, some nights very little other nights it's a great success and I am content because I have regulars. if you have no luck with one site, jump to another that is all you can do, but be careful and read all the documents before signing, some sites are a huge mistake. One more thing I'd like to add is last year I had a very rough time,I was robbed twice, once by gunpoint and the other by hackers and when I was left with an empty bank account, I was depressed and got skinny and I was unmotivated, my friends/clients helped me out and I was able to eat and get by until the investigation was completed and the money returned to my account. So I cam grateful for the clients that understand how it can be, so I never take advantage.

 

[Gen]

I've seen a few models who I think push it a bit too far - in a very guilt tripping way meant to ignite the white knights. I had to unfollow one model on Twitter because it drove me bananas. The models who do this routinely are (obviously) not doing very well for themselves so I don't think it's an effective or smart hustle, but to each their own.

There's a great theory about using emotional pleas, that basically it will work once and then the person is resentful and won't help again. So you are less likely to have a great group of regulars supporting you, but rather a random dude on Twitter who sends you a gift card once then realizes you will be asking every day. Honestly it makes sense, if you're appealing to white knight types, they aren't going to feel fulfilled if they give you a big donation and that doesn't save you, you know?

I do believe to each their own, though - if that's how a model wants to act, go for it. Obviously it alienates a lot of people but it's got to be working in some manner or hopefully they'd try something else.

 

[TacoBelle]

I agree that it's different if it's a once-in-a-while thing. Like if the model is asking for help for a move, emergency surgery/hospital bills, car repair, etc. I'm fine with those. And yeah, to be honest, it makes them seem a little more "normal" to know that they also have the same problems that all the rest of us humans do. Oh, your alternator went out on your way home, then you found out that some kids smashed your mailbox, then you found out that your dog chewed up your webcam cable? Yep, we've all had some super shitty periods in our lives, so we can all commiserate.

However, it becomes a problem when they are repeat offenders. People who ask for help (or guilt you into it) multiple times per year (or worse: per month), just make me feel less inclined to help in the future. For example, there is one model who is consistently in the top 100, who is always asking for help. I think the final straw was when I saw her asking for people to help her buy toilet paper on Twitter. Her pleading is so ridiculous that it's like a trainwreck... where you can't look away, and you just stare in amazement. Because obviously, it's working for her. I'm not trying to shame anyone, because that's how she likes to run her business. I just know that I, personally, will not tip or donate to her simply because it's overdone. I just hope that the people who do use these sob-stories for profit are putting some away for savings, because eventually something is seriously gonna come up. And there might not be many (any) people around who give a shit, since they've called wolf so many times previously.