I'm really offended by that!

[AprilKitt]

and it's okay to ask someone's pronouns! usually the only reason someone would get offended when you ask for pronouns is b/c they're cis and "how DARE you think i might be trans" which is hella transphobic so fuck them :lol:

Most trans person goal is to pass, when you are asking them their pronouns, you are signalling that they don't really pass as man (for AFAB) or woman (for AMAB). So no it's not just cis person who get offended. (http://helpfultransinfo.tumblr.com/post/84915882680 , point 3)

Here are two really wonderful videos about gender by Laci Green that might be interesting to some in this thread.

Laci Green also said trans men shouldn't feel 'grossed out" by their period, without realising it's quite a devastating thing to say to people who experience sex dysphoria. I'd advise anyone to take anything she says about gender with a big pinch of salt.

I would probably use the term "normal", but that, I guess, is why people possibly started using the term "cis" in the first place and what makes this post relevant to the thread. I guess "normal" was deemed offensive.

Because when you mean "normal", you mean within the norm, i.e. 99.5% of people are cis. But what some people hear is that you think trans are abnormal, which is technically true, they are statistically outside the average, but these people understand the other meaning of "abnormal", i.e. the negative connotation, freak, etc.

what don't you like about being called cisgender? no negative connotation, just a descriptive word. opposite of transgender.

Some people are using it as a "slur" to silence discussion (cd. "die cis scum" all over Tumblr). Generally they have a in-group/out-group mindset: trans are oppressed, if you are not trans you are cis, therefore an oppressor. They perceive privilege is a one-dimensional thing, such that for any two people, one has privilege over the other (being cis), and that first person has it better in every single way, and that second person has it worse in every single way.

hmm, i've never seen other trans people be against asking for pronouns. my bad on that one! i'll have to read up on it some more. i do think that if everyone just started asking everyone else for pronouns no matter what, most of those problems would be eliminated, but that's obviously not happening any time soon so idk.
i'm aware that cis is sometimes used in a negative context, but it's not any different than with pretty much any other oppressed group on tumblr ("kill all men", "fuck white people", etc). nobody's saying they don't want to be called men or white.
i don't think that's how most people perceive privilege to work at all. pretty much everyone i've seen believes that we're all privileged in some ways and oppressed on others. i have literally never seen a trans person be like "you're cis so everything in your life is perfect!" it seems to be a thing that people made up so they can make fun of "social justice warriors" or whatever.

 

[Ambers Troll]

Good topic VC...was trying to think of the last time I was offended by something someone said.... I couldn't.
I suspect it would have been something surprising from someone I wasn't expecting to hear it from. As I usually suspect people to say and do some pretty horrible things surprise tends to be rare, and especially with issues that I strongly feel for or have past trauma over.
The so called PTSD triggers in my own life tend to have me laughing over anger usually. Ignorance is hilarious, creepy, usually harmless (if not you must speak out) and as a rule something near impossible to correct.

In my experience people are both tough and tender. The wrong thing said can break some people, others can go through things that are unimaginable and use it to empower themselves and others. In my experience of people it can be both things together as well.

I would advise others to be brave but considerate with anything they say or do. If you want to say something, say it, but always be open to being wrong.

 

[RandomGuppy]

It seems to me that people are just looking for a reason to get offended and I think it's really getting in the way of social progress.

I think this is a double-edged sword. Looking for a 'reason to get offended' can also be a good way to keep our culture under critical scrutiny which can aid in fixing problems that may be overlooked due to privilege, social indoctrination and insensitivity or what have you.

That being said I'm sure there are just as many chronic curmudgeons who may negatively overdo it, but social progress is a complicated and messy process, and I for one wouldn't have it any other way

 

[HarmlessSquirrel]

pretty much everyone i've seen believes that we're all privileged in some ways and oppressed on others.

I'm really glad you said this because it's a major pet peeve with me that sometimes people with a cause they feel strongly about will define everyone else as privileged or oppressors. Meanwhile, each of (or at least many of) those other people will have their own issues that they feel oppressed about. If you're used to dealing with this concept on a regular basis (I am not), then maybe those words are just simple definitions, but if you call me an oppressor or privileged, I'm going to feel like I'm being accused of doing something wrong or being told I have no serious issues of my own to deal with. To most people, I think those words sound loaded.

So anyway, yes, I think if you feel something is important enough that you need to correct someone, a polite explanation will serve everyone better than taking offense and acting like the other person is ignorant or an asshole. Putting someone in a category that sounds like it means "the bad guy" is going to tend to make them feel defensive rather than interested in learning something. On the gender issue, many people, including me, are not aware of the definitions, and as several people said, won't know how a particular person wants to be referred to even if they do know the definitions. You said it's simple, and it probably is once you get used to it, but honestly, I didn't even know all the terms you used to clarify the other terms. I just said this last to illustrate that we really do need the explanation. To be clear, I recognize that you are politely explaining things rather than ranting, so thank you for that.

 

[WizofAus]

I hate PC. Not because I like to go around calling people names, but because it's gone too far. Cookie Monster shouldn't eat cookies, the Fat Controller is 'fat', the Golly Wog is racist. OMFG.

What I don't understand is that in a world full of misery and atrocities, we are so hung up on words. They are words, simply words, and by being offended by any such word you are only empowering it further.

I'm fat. I don't give a shit if you call me fat. It's unhealthy and I do need to lose weight, if anything it might encourage me to do so, but I most definitely am not going to get upset over a word regardless of its intent.

 

[Bocefish]

Offendinitus seems to be a rampant epidemic recently among those of us who have nothing better to do than bitch about whatever their latest grievance seems to be. Unless it's important enough to devote your time, energy and money towards changing... whatever you are supposedly offended by is just taking up precious time you could be doing something more enjoyable, positive, and/or important.

That said, it can also be somewhat of a stress relief just to verbally bitch about certain things that get on your nerves providing it helps you get over whatever it is.

People, myself included, could most likely benefit by trying not to take certain things so personal.

So y'all just fuck off!

 

[Red7227]

 

[ACFFAN69]

I keep hearing this argument that jokes should "only punch up" in regards to sexism, racism, etc ("otherwise it is bullying").
I much prefer allowing morons to flail their fists "retardedly" (see what I did there?) rather then browbeat them to "only punch up". It gives me a much better sense of who to avoid! It's one of the most beautiful things about free speech. Let them out themselves and then simply ignore them.

Granted I hope those that are easily offended (or at all offended by jokes) to keep being vocal about it for the same reason. It also gives me a better sense of who to avoid.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Bumping this bitch because it's a cool thread and as a reminder to all of us to not be so sensitive, Sally.