I don't know what to title this

[GentlemanScholar]

Hello everyone,

First and foremost I want to say this is not a pitty party, its not a rant, and its certainly not an affront against cam models. The following tale is what I would like to share with someone.... (not exactly a story for family or friends)

I joined MFC as a member because a friend had told me that she would be working on the website and we have always been good friends (no I am not in the friendzone just good friends) She wanted someone in the room to chat with and wanted support against trolls or weirdos. Needless to say she was nervous and I was happy to help. Personally I never perused cam sites but stuck to the classics, Playboy mostly. So I joined up got my free tokens at the time and joined her room. Months went by and she logged on less and less and really didn't do much with in terms of building a career on the website. Eventually she told me she was done and that was that.

About a year later I had my longtime girlfriend disappear into the night....literally, with as little as a text message to say she was done. Now I am as macho as any other guy in his mid 20's but It hit me really hard, I honestly was speechless as to what the f*** happened. I went for weeks in a funk until something happened.

Anyone guess whats coming next?

I came back to the website, now remember I don't frequent these sites. I have no problem or issue with them, they just never caught my fancy. In either case I bounced around from room to room until I found a woman who appeared to just be chatting with the members. I guess you could say I was shy? when it came to all the tipping and private stuff, I like to actually be with the woman :whistle:

So I started chatting with her and as people left the room we kept chatting, She was from Eastern Europe and spoke english well. From what I have gathered from the forums on the internet I know now she is not a studio model and she wasn't shaking me down for credits. She was older and really appeared genuine in her conversation. We covered all sorts of topics and not once did we bring up der sex. It was more than I think I was ready for, we chatted for about a week on and off and yes I did in fact give her the 200 toks that were given upon me signing up. Eventually we were chatting one night and she mentioned that she didn't like this kind of work and wanted to go back to what she did before. We talked more that night and before she logged off I asked her if she wanted to keep chatting even after she left the site, seeing as how thats most of what we did on there. She said yes and we exchanged info over an iphone app, which i realized a step too late uses your actual phone number. I wasn't worried, phonebooks have been around for decades, let alone what people can find about you on the internet. So we chatted on and off for the past month, stupid stuff, serious stuff, all kinds of stuff. At this point I wasn't in love with her, I just liked having someone completely new to chat with.

This is where it gets hairy, towards the end of the month she was talking a lot about rent, which I totally understand. Part of me somewhere along the road felt bad for not tipping her, while the other part was worried she would only talk to me because I was paying her to. NOTE: I understand models are working at a job, but no one was ever really in her room and she stayed anyways. What I thought was the gentleman in me decided to start tipping her on a regular basis. A few weeks passed and I started getting one work responses and sometimes none at all. Soon after that she only sent messages when she was online, which changed daily now. Now I just get hi messages which I am guessing I am to take as Hi (IM ONLINE) I understand that she is working, and that I started a cycle of tipping her, but It hurts to think that I was a long con. I really don't know how to proceed, I thought (naive as it may sound) we were becoming friends. I now have a sinking and overwhelming feeling that I am just a big fat $$ to her. I had told her in regular conversations that I am not currently employed (school) which makes feeding myself interesting some nights.

Phew, that felt really good to type, please read and say what you will. It can be anything worse than i have told myself already.

 

[LadyLuna]

Welcome!

As to what to call this: "my story- opinions?" would work just fine

I cannot tell you what was going on. It's different for every model. Sure, there's a chance it was a "long con". There's also a possibility that things just changed somehow. People grow apart. It happens. Especially if she was shy. I'm a shy person. I don't really keep up with friendships very well, online or offline. The only time I had more than one friend that I kept up with regularly, was when I was living at school and ate meals with them every day. Don't beat yourself up about it, and don't assume the worst about the model either.

Yes, it is entirely possible you were played for not having tipped her during those long hours of conversation. When I worked at gas stations, I was told by my manager that there were only two acceptable reasons for a friend to come to the store. The first was if it was my roommate bringing me something I forgot, like lunch or a name tag. The second was if the friend actually bought something from the store, and stayed to chat for a bit, but no more than 10-15 minutes.

Sometimes, a guy having a good conversation with me actually dissuades someone else from taking me private. You have no idea how often I'll get a person in pm discussing a private, a conversation actually gets started in public chat, and the person discussing private says "oh, you're busy. I'll come back later." I *hate* that. Also, part of our job is to be entertainment, part of it to be company, and part of it to be a sex object. Each model focuses on a different part, but whichever she is focusing on, she deserves to be paid for it. I understand when you couldn't really afford to. And it doesn't seem, from what you've told us, that she was playing you for having not paid her for doing her job.

My guess is, she got a job elsewhere, started having less free time, and was unable to keep up a friendship because of that. Second guess is that she got a boyfriend, but didn't want to tell you for some reason or another. Some guys don't like the idea of their girl talking to random men online. I don't blame them- stalkers are scary.

So I'll say it again. Don't read into what happened too much. We don't know why she stopped talking to you. It might have nothing to do with money, or everything to do with money but not your money, or it might actually be the "worst case scenario."

Move on.

 

[SoTxBob]

Hey G, :hello2:
What u have gone thru is not a solitary incident by any means. Her working or not, is irrelevant. If you feel 'cycled', simply stop tipping her. Hang out or take it away from her work. If you're no longer the conduit for cash, one way or the other, you will see a more true picture. Despite what the vocal ones say here, even camgirls in the EU have feelings, do have real world outside jobs and can cultivate LD electronic relationships. Make of it what you will.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

I dunno how much you were tipping her, but that seems like an awful lot of online work for a handful of nickles.

Unless you were paying out enough to pay her rent every month... I can't see the point of a long con for just a few bucks.

Perhaps, all it is is that she hit the limits to what an online friendship can be.
Sort of like, in real life when you look at each other and realize, there's nothing left to talk about and once that was gone you have nothing in common.

In this case... there's nothing left to talk about, and you're on the other side of the planet. Where do you go from there, really?

And maybe, she simply got tired of you, or got tired of playing the part she had created for online, or she found someone IRL there to do all the meaningful talking too.

Even when you have someone face to face, it's pretty tough to know why people do what they do. As you probably have learned from your text message GF who just vanished.

My last LTR ended sort of that way, after 16+ yrs of being each others best friend she was diagnosed with breast cancer and after she told me that, she stopped talking and pretty much just vanished. One of her children and one of her sisters are the only people she spoke to, and to those 2 she would not speak of her illness in any way, and they had no clue how to help or what she needed until the day she died.

Why do people do what they do? You got me. People do it all the time, walk away with no explanations. My father did that when I was about 16, he was a really great guy.... then he just left, and nobody could figure out why. My mom was devastated and had no clue why. Years later he says he doesn't know why either, he just did.

Great answer eh? :lol: If I could ask my GF that question now, I know her well enough that I'm sure she would say " I don't know why I did it. I don't want to talk about it".

My advice; if you know in your heart you did nothing to push the people in question away, then take a deep breath, try to accept that some people just suck no matter how well you thought you knew them and you don't deserve that kinda shit from anyone.

Sure, you'll feel like an asshole for a while. Trust me, it'll pass.

 

[GentlemanScholar]

Thank you all for your replies, i really didn't mean for this to be a :crybaby: thread. I didn't tip her that much in total probably a little over a 2000 tokens? maybe? Which based on the thread listing what the model actually gets I didn't give her that much money. She did want to go private once because she said it would be beautiful, but it didn't even last that long (not my fault I assure you :lol: ) Plus it wasn't really full of sexual tension some oil and other things, but nothing crazy european about it. It was as she described beautiful.

I see all your points and honestly I am still at a loss, I guess I will stop tipping her and see what happens. I have always thought of myself as a stand up guy, which is going to make not tipping her feel almost as bad as I do now. I really don't know how I let this happen, I am a well educated, decent looking, humorous fellow I'm just not used to this version of the "game" I suppose. I have read a lot of the posts about friendship and it appears as though the house won again

 

[Jupiter551]

Maybe when you became a source of income for her she drew a line through the friendship part? I don't know just a thought. Like Bob said, stop tipping her but keep contact with her and see how things turn out.

 

[gigolo_joe]

My guess is, she got a job elsewhere, started having less free time, and was unable to keep up a friendship because of that. Second guess is that she got a boyfriend, but didn't want to tell you for some reason or another. Some guys don't like the idea of their girl talking to random men online. I don't blame them- stalkers are scary.

So I'll say it again. Don't read into what happened too much. We don't know why she stopped talking to you. It might have nothing to do with money, or everything to do with money but not your money, or it might actually be the "worst case scenario."

Move on.[quoted in part]

I think LadyLuna said it well.

As in a relationship with anybody you can spend all day wondering why it changed but I wouldn't let money ruin the experience of what was.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I think it was Jupiter who brought up this quote (or something very like it), I think it's really good.

"You see an enticing, beautiful, intelligent woman. She sees words on a screen."

I chat to my regulars quite a bit, a lot of it is enjoying someone to talk to, and the other way around I think. But they also chose to come to my room because they particularly enjoy my personality. They will see me as more of a person than I see them. So sometimes I've gone through stages when having someone to talk to has been lovely, then maybe I'll get a new regular who's even better to talk to, and tips more! So I'll move my attention to him more. Or maybe I start talking to some of my real life friends more. I am sorry to say but because I just see words, although there are obviously lots of differences between members, if I get along with both people, the transition is easy. For you it won't be the same.

Being academically clever does not mean you'll be any more protected from these things. And in fact being good looking doesn't change anything on cam either. But it might make you feel like you're either better or should be less desperate than the other members. Which just isn't true! Everyone gets lonely and goes through problems when we become vulnerable to these sorts of things. Plenty of guys I know think all members on a camsite should be sad and pathetic, let's face it, many of them are, but also most of them are completely normal guys! Many simply have circumstances/things they're going through which means they seek company from camming to help them through break ups/divorce etc.
You're more than welcome to come hang out in my room sometime, I chat a lot and have some very friendly regulars, but I am very straight forward with my boundaries and how I feel, which even though some guys hate that it might be good for you if you've been going through a hard time. In fact a lot of the girls on here are very down to earth and know/play by the rules, so I'd think you're less likely to feel you're being played.

I would also set a budget to how much you can afford to tip and decide what you really want out of your tips. You don't want to spend all your food money on a camgirl then resent her for it. I know some of my regulars tip me money they need to spend on food, but they still always say 'worth every penny' as they scoff down pot noodles for a week (madness I tell you!!), I don't encourage this at all, but it is up to you how you feel.

 

[Evvie]

If you're a jobless student, why are you tipping a model when you can't eat at night? I don't want to be rude, but that doesn't sound like the decision of an academic to me. If you now understand that this model is interested in you primarily for money (regardless of your relationship's past), and you are no longer happy, why are your forcing yourself to stay in a relationship you no longer want or need?

Let us not forget that relationships change over time. All of them do. This worker/client relationship started out friendly and slowly devolved in to work-based.

Perhaps she has decided that she is no longer comfortable with your friendship because she is tired of expending so much emotional energy in to MFC.

Perhaps she has decided to focus on sex and shows instead of being friends with people.

Perhaps she is more needy of money, stressed out, and just wants you to tip without having to expend that emotional energy to maintain your friendship.

I agree with a few other posters in that I feel you are reading too much in to this. A sex worker was your friend but now wants only money. Do you really think that invalidates your entire friendship? Is it not possible that, like every person and relationship in the world, things changed later on?

I suggest you stop spending your dinner money on her if you no longer care to. The way you are speaking now about your relationship makes it sound almost abusive; as if you are forced to put out for an unloving partner and you just don't know what to do. You should consider putting her on your blocked PMs list and hiding her from showing up on your MFC model's list.

 

[mynameisbob84]

How much have you been tipping her? Like, enough to pay her rent? I guess it's possible you got conned, but then everything seems the wrong way 'round for that. If she was looking to con you, then surely the amount of attention being lavished upon you would be commensurate with the amount you tipped her. Here, it's like the inverse. The more you tip her, the less she has to say to you. Then again, maybe she's hoping that will make you tip her even more.
I dunno, maybe you got conned, maybe you didn't, but either way, I'd suggest not tipping her any more. If she's your friend, she'll understand that you need to feed yourself before paying somebody else's rent, and if she's a con artist, then you don't really need to explain yourself to her, ya know?

 

[GentlemanScholar]

Again I appreciate all of your replies, thank you for taking the time to put in your thoughts. I haven't been tipping her as of late because of the lack of job, I have never wanted for the money that I spent on her. I think I had already drawn a boundary at where I was comfortable spending. As for contacting her I have not initiated contact with her for at least a few days. I have gotten the messages saying hello, and low and behold she is online and doesn't respond to my response.

I get it from her point of view I honestly do, you ladies are working, which is entirely dependent on what people are willing to tip or spend. I wasn't trying to take away from her job and bully the other people coming into her room. I always let her work when people showed up. So I think I will take a quote for myself and follow its advice "Quietly forgiving and moving on is a gift to yourself"

 

[bob]

In either case I bounced around from room to room until I found a woman who appeared to just be chatting with the members. I guess you could say I was shy? when it came to all the tipping and private stuff, I like to actually be with the woman :whistle:

So I started chatting with her and as people left the room we kept chatting, She was from Eastern Europe and spoke english well. From what I have gathered from the forums on the internet I know now she is not a studio model and she wasn't shaking me down for credits. She was older and really appeared genuine in her conversation. We covered all sorts of topics and not once did we bring up der sex. It was more than I think I was ready for, we chatted for about a week on and off and yes I did in fact give her the 200 toks that were given upon me signing up. Eventually we were chatting one night and she mentioned that she didn't like this kind of work and wanted to go back to what she did before. We talked more that night and before she logged off I asked her if she wanted to keep chatting even after she left the site, seeing as how thats most of what we did on there. She said yes and we exchanged info over an iphone app, which i realized a step too late uses your actual phone number. I wasn't worried, phonebooks have been around for decades, let alone what people can find about you on the internet. So we chatted on and off for the past month, stupid stuff, serious stuff, all kinds of stuff.

Most of what's been said here is spot on....but this part of your story reminds me of an ongoing situation in with a model friend of mine who i've gotten to know offsite, and a new guy in her room.

Your description matches this woman perfectly (except for the older part)....eastern european who is content to sit and chat (i've seen a topic in her room ONE time.....guys were falling all over themselves to make the countdown :lol: )

Anyway....this new guy comes into her room one night...tips some, chats in free....goes to PM....her work is slow, and they talk alot......other guys come and go, there's a few tips....she eventually gets a few shortish privates...tells me offsite she's exhausted, but needs to stay a little to meet her goal (point of info....i usually stay in her room only at the beginning and then step away so an not to be a freeloader :whistle: sometimes stay in PM, but usually go on about my www business, staying in touch/available offsite)

This pattern goes on pretty consistently for a couple of weeks....she enjoys his company, and he's "there" for her, with wit and intelligence and tips
Sometime towards the end of the those weeks, she tells me he's asking about offsite info and wonders what she should do.

I ask her how she would have felt if I'd been the one to ask her about talking offsite.
"But we were friends....that was different"
Which I snicker at, reminding her that just because she trusts me, doesn't mean I'm harmless :angel12:
And we talk for a while about trust, this guy, blah blah blah.....landing finally on the big red X.....what her motives are if she accepts and exchanges info.

She's afraid she'll lose his company in her room....and that includes, but is not limited too, his financial support....which is really nothing more than the reason some models are not shy about exchanging offsite info with members....the emotional milieu is just turned upside down....those models actively USE that exchange as an extension of their work on site...and that of course, can become the horror story of the "long con", if the model is that kind of person, and the member is the willing victim. Usually, however, it's just a friendship based on whatever is fun about camming for the both of them.

My point tho is this.....and I've learned this the hard way.....if it's the guy who initiates the contact, particularly if his motives are "simple and pure" (define that however you want)....the dynamic of that offsite relationship is, almost always for the model, still linked to her work....and to remove that link and honestly discover the "real" woman is a labyrinth of conflicting emotions that will challenge any definition of "simple and pure"

Which doesn't add anything new to what's been said about your situation. But every labyrinth IS different: both it's layout, and its walls, are created by the needs of those two individuals "playing the game" as you say.

This is where it gets hairy, towards the end of the month she was talking a lot about rent, which I totally understand. Part of me somewhere along the road felt bad for not tipping her, while the other part was worried she would only talk to me because I was paying her to. NOTE: I understand models are working at a job, but no one was ever really in her room and she stayed anyways. What I thought was the gentleman in me decided to start tipping her on a regular basis. A few weeks passed and I started getting one work responses and sometimes none at all. Soon after that she only sent messages when she was online, which changed daily now. Now I just get hi messages which I am guessing I am to take as Hi (IM ONLINE) I understand that she is working, and that I started a cycle of tipping her, but It hurts to think that I was a long con. I really don't know how to proceed, I thought (naive as it may sound) we were becoming friends. I now have a sinking and overwhelming feeling that I am just a big fat $$ to her. I had told her in regular conversations that I am not currently employed (school) which makes feeding myself interesting some nights.

So....my take...from your bolded statements.....she understands what you're saying (and doing), and doesn't want to take advantage of you....as the other bob ( :hello2: ) said....the token/attention ratio is out of wack is you consider darker motives, and the simplest explanation is usually the right one. She may or may not regret her decision to have "taken you offsite" but what I'm calling "the cold shoulder" at work would seem to be a reflection of that decision. Pulling the plug on tipping her is sound advice, as you may well have moved to fast to see where you were headed.

But it's also very self protective, imo....if it were me (and this decision will be unpopular), I'd probably risk it all and ask her wtf was going on in PM. Just remember she's working, and you're not her primary object of focus there......if she's forthcoming at all, it may take a while to hear enough to understand. And be prepared....a few harsh words and a ban is another possibility.....but would also clarify the situation for you.

 

[GentlemanScholar]

This pattern goes on pretty consistently for a couple of weeks....she enjoys his company, and he's "there" for her, with wit and intelligence and tips
Sometime towards the end of the those weeks, she tells me he's asking about offsite info and wonders what she should do.

I ask her how she would have felt if I'd been the one to ask her about talking offsite.
"But we were friends....that was different"

That is what makes me feel awkward, the only way I like to pay for peoples friendship and affection is with friendship and affection. I did ask if she wanted to talk offsite, but merely because she had eluded to the fact that she wasn't long for the site and didn't like this kind of work. In hindsight I should have taken the chat as it was and left well enough alone :lol:

 

[Evvie]

This pattern goes on pretty consistently for a couple of weeks....she enjoys his company, and he's "there" for her, with wit and intelligence and tips
Sometime towards the end of the those weeks, she tells me he's asking about offsite info and wonders what she should do.

I ask her how she would have felt if I'd been the one to ask her about talking offsite.
"But we were friends....that was different"

That is what makes me feel awkward, the only way I like to pay for peoples friendship and affection is with friendship and affection. I did ask if she wanted to talk offsite, but merely because she had eluded to the fact that she wasn't long for the site and didn't like this kind of work. In hindsight I should have taken the chat as it was and left well enough alone :lol:

Yes, but in the end, is she just on MFC for friendship? Some people forget models often have active social lives. When she logs off, she could well have a dozen friends to ring up and hang out with, a boyfriend or husband, and as much company as she wants. Do you think it is wise to go on MFC looking only for friendship when it is literally a place of work for models? I know many models rely on MFC for a major part of their socialization, but MFC is not a stable of women who don't care about money and just want to trade friendship. Do you think you deserve to be her friend because you met her and talked to her?

 

[bob]

This pattern goes on pretty consistently for a couple of weeks....she enjoys his company, and he's "there" for her, with wit and intelligence and tips
Sometime towards the end of the those weeks, she tells me he's asking about offsite info and wonders what she should do.

I ask her how she would have felt if I'd been the one to ask her about talking offsite.
"But we were friends....that was different"

That is what makes me feel awkward, the only way I like to pay for peoples friendship and affection is with friendship and affection. I did ask if she wanted to talk offsite, but merely because she had eluded to the fact that she wasn't long for the site and didn't like this kind of work. In hindsight I should have taken the chat as it was and left well enough alone :lol:

the white stallion in each of us loves carrots...."i really don't like this work" is big crunchy one

 

[GentlemanScholar]

This pattern goes on pretty consistently for a couple of weeks....she enjoys his company, and he's "there" for her, with wit and intelligence and tips
Sometime towards the end of the those weeks, she tells me he's asking about offsite info and wonders what she should do.

I ask her how she would have felt if I'd been the one to ask her about talking offsite.
"But we were friends....that was different"

That is what makes me feel awkward, the only way I like to pay for peoples friendship and affection is with friendship and affection. I did ask if she wanted to talk offsite, but merely because she had eluded to the fact that she wasn't long for the site and didn't like this kind of work. In hindsight I should have taken the chat as it was and left well enough alone :lol:

Yes, but in the end, is she just on MFC for friendship? Some people forget models often have active social lives. When she logs off, she could well have a dozen friends to ring up and hang out with, a boyfriend or husband, and as much company as she wants. Do you think it is wise to go on MFC looking only for friendship when it is literally a place of work for models? I know many models rely on MFC for a major part of their socialization, but MFC is not a stable of women who don't care about money and just want to trade friendship. Do you think you deserve to be her friend because you met her and talked to her?

Again, I thought it was different (my mistake), I wasn't looking for a stable of beautiful women who wanted to be my friend. I think my real reason for posting on here was to get insight into what really happened, much like someone going to a doctor instead of self diagnosing themselves with Web MD.

 

[ComicOzzie]

Damn, when I read the OP, I thought he was gonna say that he found his ex-gf working on MFC after she left him.

 

[victor0021]

IMO there is no such think as a "con" on MFC unless you somehow get cheated out of your tokens. To me it doesn't sound like she cheated you. My guess is you became MFC friends and eventually it hit a spot where she was ready to move on from that part of your relationship for whatever reason. She obviously would like to keep the financial part going because this is how she makes her money. You had fun talking to her and got to know her on a personal level, it sounds like it went on for a while and was enjoyable while it was going on. It doesn't sound like you tipped your life savings or anything. I would just knock it up to 2 people growing apart and move on. If it makes you uncomfortable and you worry it will happen again be warned online cam sites like MFC might not be for you.

 

[Jupiter551]

Damn, when I read the OP, I thought he was gonna say that he found his ex-gf working on MFC after she left him.

LOL that's what I thought too

 

[Just Me]

This pattern goes on pretty consistently for a couple of weeks....she enjoys his company, and he's "there" for her, with wit and intelligence and tips
Sometime towards the end of the those weeks, she tells me he's asking about offsite info and wonders what she should do.

I ask her how she would have felt if I'd been the one to ask her about talking offsite.
"But we were friends....that was different"

That is what makes me feel awkward, the only way I like to pay for peoples friendship and affection is with friendship and affection. I did ask if she wanted to talk offsite, but merely because she had eluded to the fact that she wasn't long for the site and didn't like this kind of work. In hindsight I should have taken the chat as it was and left well enough alone :lol:

You should have gone with this instinct. If someone is really that interested in you, they will make the effort to keep in contact.

I sometimes feel either the people here are too nice (which doesn't match up with some of the threads here :lol: ) or we tend to give models some benefit of the doubt because we only seem to have the cream of the crop here. I doubt any model you see posting here fairly regularly will play this game with you, and it is a game. I have seen it too often with models from certain areas of the world. It doesn't matter how many tokens you spend on them, because you are not the only one she is talking to offline and playing this game with. 2000 tokens from you, 2000 tokens from Billy, 3000 from John etc etc , it starts to add up. This is pretty standard studio model protocol and even if your friend is not with a studio, she was probably with one before or has friends that work for studios. Hell, it is just good business sense for some, if they do not care about the persons feelings on the other end.

We like to think money is no big deal in a friendship or relationship, but once money is involved even the most level headed person can be nuts. A lot marriages, many friendships and family relations can end over something as little as few dollars. There is a reason there are words of wisdom about not lending money to friends, if you want to keep the friendship. In economic terms it is all about incentives, people respond to them and they are not always monetary.

What I would do in your situation is be blunt and honest with her. Tell her your feelings, if she really cares she will understand your concerns. The only reason you would not tell her how you feel is because you are afraid of losing the good feelings you had when you did not have these concerns. Trust your instincts and pay attention to the red flags. We should never be afraid to tell someone, we care about, exactly how we feel.

 

[JickyJuly]

That is what makes me feel awkward, the only way I like to pay for peoples friendship and affection is with friendship and affection.

MFC is a site where whatever attention a woman is giving you is expected to get her some compensation. While she may give you actual friendship, it's not fair to expect that because she goes above and beyond a thank you or a private, your end of the deal is over. Too many dudes on MFC have the idea that if you're friends or they hang out enough, their tokens are no longer necessary. Or, worse that once you've befriended a camgirl, her token requirement is somehow a sign of deception. When I was a cosmetologist, if I'd spent my work hours doing all my friends cuts and colors for free, my rent would never have been paid and I'd never have built a financially supportive clientele. Conversely, if I gave any client I befriended free services, that would become an issue as well. It's disrespectful to expect people in the service industries to treat their way of making money as an option instead of a requirement.

 

[Jupiter551]

That is what makes me feel awkward, the only way I like to pay for peoples friendship and affection is with friendship and affection.

MFC is a site where whatever attention a woman is giving you is expected to get her some compensation. While she may give you actual friendship, it's not fair to expect that because she goes above and beyond a thank you or a private, your end of the deal is over. Too many dudes on MFC have the idea that if you're friends or they hang out enough, their tokens are no longer necessary. Or, worse that once you've befriended a camgirl, her token requirement is somehow a sign of deception. When I was a cosmetologist, if I'd spent my work hours doing all my friends cuts and colors for free, my rent would never have been paid and I'd never have built a financially supportive clientele. Conversely, if I gave any client I befriended free services, that would become an issue as well. It's disrespectful to expect people in the service industries to treat their way of making money as an option instead of a requirement.

Yup this, there are some girls on MFC I consider friends and talk to outside of MFC but I would no more ask them for free stuff than I would turn up to my friend's cafe and demand free food.

 

[GentlemanScholar]

That is what makes me feel awkward, the only way I like to pay for peoples friendship and affection is with friendship and affection.

MFC is a site where whatever attention a woman is giving you is expected to get her some compensation. While she may give you actual friendship, it's not fair to expect that because she goes above and beyond a thank you or a private, your end of the deal is over. Too many dudes on MFC have the idea that if you're friends or they hang out enough, their tokens are no longer necessary. Or, worse that once you've befriended a camgirl, her token requirement is somehow a sign of deception. When I was a cosmetologist, if I'd spent my work hours doing all my friends cuts and colors for free, my rent would never have been paid and I'd never have built a financially supportive clientele. Conversely, if I gave any client I befriended free services, that would become an issue as well. It's disrespectful to expect people in the service industries to treat their way of making money as an option instead of a requirement.

I see a valid point here but again I have to express the fact that I 1. Never asked for anything free 2. I Actually did tip her after a while for the only reason that I didn't want to feel like a freeloader 3. I ONLY asked her for her outside contact information because she had told me she was leaving soon and wasn't going to be using the site anymore and i quote "I really enjoy chatting with you and I completely understand having a job you don't enjoy. I was wondering if you wanted to stay in touch over email or something?" That was it, I didn't push it or beg for it, I didn't ask for free photos or videos. She suggested the medium and was the one to start contacting me through it initially. I can't say it enough that I didn't expect anything free out of this.

 

[JickyJuly]

Sitting in a PM letting her know that you're offsite whenever she's done IS waiting for free attention imo. Of course, I'm so sick of the sort of douchenozzles that send PMs like the one below, that I'm a bit grouchy.

 

[GentlemanScholar]

Hmm, I don't really know how to explain it any better, if you believe that everyone that enjoys chatting and wants to do so off site is a "douchenozzles" then I suppose I was incorrect about my situation from the start. we had been talking for about a week before I asked and once again didn't abuse the privileged. It feels at this point that the thread has deviated into me being a pining freeloader who was hoping with a few jokes and kind word was hoping for a new mail order bride.

 

[Paulie Walnuts]

I think all these models understand the business concept that "you don't shit where you eat".

Customers often don't understand why you shouldn't. I don't think you're a freeloader but I think you were looking for love in all the wrong places.

And thanks to you I'll have that fucking song in my head all day. Thanks.
:lol:

 

[LolaSmiles]

I really thought he was going to find his ex on MFC too! LOL. As a model who is rather new to MFC this post opened my eyes a bit. I always feel bad for members who can't tip and try to do my best to make them feel better about it. Sometimes I'm so backwards... oops. Not that I will now go around banning people or insulting them for not tipping, I just won't feel like I have to make it less awkward. Not sure if that makes sense. *shrug*

 

[Nordling]

I really thought he was going to find his ex on MFC too! LOL. As a model who is rather new to MFC this post opened my eyes a bit. I always feel bad for members who can't tip and try to do my best to make them feel better about it. Sometimes I'm so backwards... oops. Not that I will now go around banning people or insulting them for not tipping, I just won't feel like I have to make it less awkward. Not sure if that makes sense. *shrug*

Makes a lot of sense. I mean, it's one thing to be understanding when a member is between paychecks but if you have a member that becomes a regular and never tips, I don't see any reason to be anything but mildly cordial at best. A former model had a room almost full of chatty non-tippers, some even boasted about it. Heh heh. I wouldn't have been bothered if she had simply cleared the room.

 

[Dani_withani]

Sometimes PMs get really overwhelming when you're trying to cam. When its slow in my room I respond to PMs because I have the time and it's nice getting to know people but once it picks up my messages get flooded. I changed my PM options to friends only and that helped but sometimes correspondence is slow when I'm juggling a bunch of people.

Like you said, shes a working girl. She might be in regular correspondence with a bunch of guys and they may just be tipping more.

It seems like you might like OKcupid where people are looking to make connections and not to turn you upside down and shake the change out of your pockets.

 

[GentlemanScholar]

Sometimes PMs get really overwhelming when you're trying to cam. When its slow in my room I respond to PMs because I have the time and it's nice getting to know people but once it picks up my messages get flooded. I changed my PM options to friends only and that helped but sometimes correspondence is slow when I'm juggling a bunch of people.

Like you said, shes a working girl. She might be in regular correspondence with a bunch of guys and they may just be tipping more.

It seems like you might like OKcupid where people are looking to make connections and not to turn you upside down and shake the change out of your pockets.

I think from now on I'm just going to leave the house for meeting new people :dance: I Have gone back to her room and she is nice but its kinda weird, there is one member that apparently joined her on her first day and has been back every...single...night. I noticed from an outside point of view that it scares other members away. Its like her husband is in chat with her. I get that he gives her a lot of tokens and they might be lovestruck but honestly (my situation aside) thats straight up creepy to me :twocents-02cents: