I don't have a *big* sexual fantasy - am I "normal"?

[NotYou]

I have genuinely thought a lot, not just the past days or weeks but for years. Abotu what it is I would really like to see/do sexually, a fantasy. I literally have nothing like what a lot of other people have, that big, amazing fantasy you know may will never happen, even though you want it to.

My question is: is that normal, for someone not to have one? I am 31 so still young enough to get one, still lots of experiences to try.

Do you have one? I am not going to ask what it is, but I am sure you all know what I am meaning.. It's just everyone I have ever known, seems to have one.. even if it's just something simple and common, like a guy wanting a threesome with 2 ladies or you know, something like that.

So I am just.. worried (i am sure i don't need to be). I don't know what to think honestly haha.

Thoughts?

 

[SMuser69]

I have genuinely thought a lot, not just the past days or weeks but for years. Abotu what it is I would really like to see/do sexually, a fantasy. I literally have nothing like what a lot of other people have, that big, amazing fantasy you know may will never happen, even though you want it to.

My question is: is that normal, for someone not to have one? I am 31 so still young enough to get one, still lots of experiences to try.

Do you have one? I am not going to ask what it is, but I am sure you all know what I am meaning.. It's just everyone I have ever known, seems to have one.. even if it's just something simple and common, like a guy wanting a threesome with 2 ladies or you know, something like that.

So I am just.. worried (i am sure i don't need to be). I don't know what to think honestly haha.

Thoughts?

I don't think it's a wrong or right thing, if that's how it is then it's how it is. As long as you are getting satisfaction there's nothing more to do. You can't miss out on something you don't want.

The only real question is how would you deal if your Significant Other DOES have a fantasy, will you try to fulfill it with them even if didn't bring more satisfaction to yourself?

 

[KylieJacobs]

That's completely normal. You're probably pretty vanilla when it comes to your sex life, and there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[NotYou]

I don't think it's a wrong or right thing, if that's how it is then it's how it is. As long as you are getting satisfaction there's nothing more to do. You can't miss out on something you don't want.

The only real question is how would you deal if your Significant Other DOES have a fantasy, will you try to fulfill it with them even if didn't bring more satisfaction to yourself?

That's completely normal. You're probably pretty vanilla when it comes to your sex life, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I will reply to both of these as one because whilst I was replying to SMuser69, it also "answered" your post too Kylie:

I would honestly be open to a lot of things for my Significant Other, of course there would be definite no no's (I mean I don't (yet at least) want to see her with another man or woman, as I am not comfortable in myself and would get jealous of that). But a lot of other things I would more than happy talk about with her and have an open mind for it. It may end up being something that satisfies me too, or if not but I see that it satisfies her greatly, I'd love doing that (I really love seeing the enjoyment/pleasure on her face and hearing her moans - for me that is perfection).


I definitely am vanilla but I'm wanting to explore a lot more but I am just too shy and nervous for it (to ask, or to just go ahead and try something). The thing is, my partner is one I 100% can talk to and discuss, but for some reason I can never pluck up the courage/balls to do it lol.

 

[KylieJacobs]

I will reply to both of these as one because whilst I was replying to SMuser69, it also "answered" your post too Kylie:

I would honestly be open to a lot of things for my Significant Other, of course there would be definite no no's (I mean I don't (yet at least) want to see her with another man or woman, as I am not comfortable in myself and would get jealous of that). But a lot of other things I would more than happy talk about with her and have an open mind for it. It may end up being something that satisfies me too, or if not but I see that it satisfies her greatly, I'd love doing that (I really love seeing the enjoyment/pleasure on her face and hearing her moans - for me that is perfection).


I definitely am vanilla but I'm wanting to explore a lot more but I am just too shy and nervous for it (to ask, or to just go ahead and try something). The thing is, my partner is one I 100% can talk to and discuss, but for some reason I can never pluck up the courage/balls to do it lol.

If you want to explore new things, you could maybe try dropping a few hints on things here or there, and see how she responds. If she seems open-minded, you could talk more about it.

 

[Pira]

oh this is totally normal

i don't consider myself vanilla but i also don't have One Big Fantasy

i've wanted to do and try things, and i've tried them! if i like them, i do them again! if not, nah!

i feel like the whole idea of One Thing that's the be-all end-all of your sexual fantasies is more something you see in movies-- like you said, a MFF threesome is a pretty common vanilla straight dude desire, to generalize for a second (yes, could be a bisexual desire as well but i'm thinking about what society impresses upon specifically straight men via porn/ mainstream movies and tv/ etc).

maybe consider yourself original or an independent thinker to be immune (or...less susceptible) to the Big Sexual Fantasies society/mainstream porn/ mainstream media are trying to impress upon you!

 

[TokenGesture]

I have genuinely thought a lot, not just the past days or weeks but for years.

So you've spent a lot of time thinking about having no sexual fantasy. Imagine the mental gymnastics and fatigue if you'd actually had one. I'd say you're well enough out of it and to embrace and relish the simple life. I fear though you might be on a slippery slope with the mere act of throwing up that threesome thought. Soon enough it will start to get convoluted and you will be twisting and turning in your sleep and find your mind wandering doing everyday tasks. Before you know it, it'll be the two women and you in a barrel over Niagara Falls, in tutus, smearing butterscotch on each other and taking selfies all the while. On and on it will go, no knowing where it will end. Do you want that sort of life for yourself?

 

[Chojin]

Do you view PornHub bro?

I like lactating, saggy preggo boobs (preferably veiny).

I've got loads of 'kinks' that get me off.

Vanilla is ok but I prefer weird tbh.

 

[Sillykitty]

I'm not vanilla at all, and cant remember the last time I had vanilla sex with the hubs. But, I dont have the whole one big sexual fantasy thing. I enjoy vanilla sex and bdsm, but on any given day I could do either and be perfectly content. I have specific kinks i cater to when I check out porn, and they range from extremely tame to heavy bdsm, but they arent the end all be all for sex for me, if that makes sense. But no one thing that I obsess about and need to get off.

 

[briandf255]

I have a fetish so almost all my sexual fantasies revolve around that, but there are many different things that turn me on even with that limitation. What turns me on the most keeps changing with every new experience (and with my mood at the time), so like most of the people who commented above, I don't have one big unchanging fantasy scenario.

 

[SaffronBurke]

That's completely normal. You're probably pretty vanilla when it comes to your sex life, and there's nothing wrong with that.

Heck, I'm kinky as hell and still don't have the one big fantasy.

 

[JoleneBrody]

I don’t have a big fantasy either.

 

[DJ_Pioneer]

I am so boring that I am not even vanilla, I am unflavored ice cream. I have no big sexual fantasies but i fantasize about having great conversations with interesting people.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I wouldn’t consider myself completely vanilla but I don’t have one grand huge fantasy either. Sounds like it's fairly common too the more people share.

 

[Lintilla]

If you don't find yourself getting as aroused or interested in sex as you would like to be, that's an issue. Could be an unexplored fetish, issues with sexuality, any number of things. Not to be dismissive, if you're minimizing things here, but going with what's written... seems like maybe you're just bored?

 

[Chojin]

I was a little drunk the jacuzzi and fooling around with my (now ex) wife and felt the urge to fuck her arse. I've never bummed anyone before and found the idea really exciting! So i got her on all fours and arched her back so her arse was cocked out for me. We didn't have any lube, so squirted some coconut scented shower gel across the crack of her bumbum. I slid my index finger up her arse to loosen it, but it was too tight. Her sphincter was clenched so very tight. I had a very hard cock from the thought of buggering her and tried to slide it up her anus. I wanted to cum in her cute little bum.

I only managed to get my uncircumcised glans in there, but that was enough to make be bust both nuts if she let me have a shot at it for 10 minutes, but she jumped out and yelped. She sat on the loo with a frown on her face. She said the feel of it going up her arse made her feel that she needed to poop.


We never spoke of that weird incident again

It's still on my naughty 'to do' list.

 

[Minny Minx]

I have genuinely thought a lot, not just the past days or weeks but for years. Abotu what it is I would really like to see/do sexually, a fantasy. I literally have nothing like what a lot of other people have, that big, amazing fantasy you know may will never happen, even though you want it to.

My question is: is that normal, for someone not to have one? I am 31 so still young enough to get one, still lots of experiences to try.

Do you have one? I am not going to ask what it is, but I am sure you all know what I am meaning.. It's just everyone I have ever known, seems to have one.. even if it's just something simple and common, like a guy wanting a threesome with 2 ladies or you know, something like that.

So I am just.. worried (i am sure i don't need to be). I don't know what to think honestly haha.

Thoughts?

It's absolutely normal

 

[CatOwned]

Eh, you like what you like. It's perfectly normal...if there even is a single definition of 'normal.' Do what works for you and your partner. Don't put any more pressure on yourself than that.

On a related note, I loathe the term 'vanilla.' Regardless of how people mean it, it's still generally regarded as a pejorative.

I have no huge kinks, fetishes, fantasies, etc, but I've never considered the sex I'm having to be somehow less interesting or exciting than what kinkier people have.

To me, it's never been vanilla. It's always been Chunky Monkey.

 

[Deleted member 37064]

I think too many people get hung up on "big", "extreme", or whatever sensationalism thing of the moment is. Not just sexually. But, in every day parts of life. Who cares what others are doing. if it doesn't impact you, live your life as you see fit without comparing it to others and enjoy!

I know my sex life might be boring to others (actually, it's non-existent at this point). But, by the same token, it could have been very exciting to others. Does it change anything? Nope, I've enjoyed it when it happens. Now, I just need to get it going again.

 

[Fatquack]

I don't have a big fantasy, plenty of small ones though.

 

[Chojin]

Sweet god. What an extremely good girl.

https://motherless.com/BE78CFB

This woman is simply amazing. I wonder what makes her squirt.

This guy won the blowjob lottery.

Fantastic.