Huge toy/custom issue

[EmptyKins]

Hello ACF,
I've been lurking here since 2013 after I started camming in 2012. Social anxiety prevents me from creating a verified model account (despite the many logical debates between my brain and my...brain?)

I'm posting here today because of a "serious" dilemma I've been losing sleep over. I recently came back from a depression fueled hiatus and ran a promotion on one of my clip accounts to replenish my currently vacant sex toy collection. The promo was basically: "Tell me which toy to you'd like me to try, I'll approve/disapprove your choice, you tip me the adjusted amount i.e the cost of the toy after shipping and the clip site takes it's cut, once I recieve the toy I send you an unboxing video and the first video I make with it."

My ptsd and diassociative tendencies tend to render my creativity useless 70% of each day but medication gives me frequent *manic* bursts of energy which I attempt to corral into the "profit" zone of my brain. I use " * " in my text because I do not feel I have symptoms of mania but my family/friend do.

I was tipped $306 with a profit of $10. It is my fault that I assumed my vagina could accomodate a medium toy from bad-dragon.com upon receiving it. It was also my fault for not doing research on how to play with said toy. I've since sent the member (2) unboxing clips, (1) first attempt clip, and multiple messages stating I'm attempting to rectify the situation.

I cannot refund the credits as the clip site's "statute of limitation" passes within hours of tipping. And I hate that I have disappointed a cherished member with my ill-equipped genitals.

What shall I do?

 

[AmberCutie]

Given that this post is not about the toy company Bad Dragon, please let me know what you would like me to rename the thread as not to mislead future readers.

 

[Striker44]

Just so I understand... a member helped you get a toy. You were supposed to send him an unboxing video and a video of the first time you play with it. And I guess there is a problem with the toy? Just not a good fit or something? And now the member is unhappy?

Well I'm just a member myself. But it sounds like technically you fulfilled your initial obligation. You sent an 2 unboxing videos? and also 1 video from your first "attempt"? Ok so maybe playing needs more practice then you thought but the whole point was this is a toy you have no experience with. There's no guarantees in life or anything. Not all toys, sex or otherwise, are as "fun" as you might think. You gave it your best effort.
Now ok, customer service is important of course. You met your obligation but he's not happy for whatever reason... you can not offer a refund.. heck even if you could I would suggest you shouldn't.
Suggest you just send him a sexy video or photoshoot of you in his favorite outfit?

To me at least, that would be more then enough to then clean the slate. He technically got what was promised already, there was a "problem with the order", so ok you're throwing in a free dessert.

Just my 2 cents...

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

For those that aren't familiar with bad dragon, they are an awesome company, but they use a soda can as the size comparison for their products. Some of said products absolutely dwarf the soda can... OP, I'm pretty sure your vagina isn't unusually ill-equipped.

Since you were allowing customers to pick out toys, I assume this guy suggested a medium sized bad dragon toy of his own volition. If he's familiar enough with bad dragon to buy you one of their toys, I'm guessing that he's into seeing girls fuck over-endowed anthropomorphic fictional creatures (and I have absolutely nothing against that!). Seeing you embarrassed and struggling to take something too large like a hentai, virgin cat-girl (again, nothing wrong with that) was probably exactly what he wanted. I suspect you've already made him pretty happy. If not, you've still given him a lot and put in quite a bit of effort. I don't really know what else you could or should do.

 

[SaffronBurke]

For those that aren't familiar with bad dragon, they are an awesome company, but they use a soda can as the size comparison for their products. Some of said products absolutely dwarf the soda can... OP, I'm pretty sure your vagina isn't unusually ill-equipped.

I have the Hanns dildo, which only comes in one size, GIRTHY AF, and I need to warm up with three other dildos first if it's going to get inside me.

 

[SophiaSophia]

given that youve already apologized and promised another clip- you're probably going to have to make another clip.
I wouldnt go any further than attempting the thing then spin off into how tight the fit is etc etc..or whatever fits your particular persona.
I personally couldnt see myself doing anything more than humping anything past their smallest ones.

not being able to take a "bad dragon" is completely within the realm of normal. As Ms_Gingersnatch suggested- its likely the guy has already gotten his thrill.

 

[EmptyKins]

For those that aren't familiar with bad dragon, they are an awesome company, but they use a soda can as the size comparison for their products. Some of said products absolutely dwarf the soda can... OP, I'm pretty sure your vagina isn't unusually ill-equipped.

Since you were allowing customers to pick out toys, I assume this guy suggested a medium sized bad dragon toy of his own volition. If he's familiar enough with bad dragon to buy you one of their toys, I'm guessing that he's into seeing girls fuck over-endowed anthropomorphic fictional creatures (and I have absolutely nothing against that!). Seeing you embarrassed and struggling to take something too large like a hentai, virgin cat-girl (again, nothing wrong with that) was probably exactly what he wanted. I suspect you've already made him pretty happy. If not, you've still given him a lot and put in quite a bit of effort. I don't really know what else you could or should do.

Thank you all for your replies!
He has not responded to any of my messages. And he has taken to updating his little status with "VERY disappointed" or "wow I've been scammed again"

His initial response to the 2 unboxing videos and first attempt video was:

"Hold on. Are you trying to say that this little piece of plastic beat you?!

In my opinion it was pretty close, I think that you had your chance when you were standing. I guess if you stick it on a chair you can do it! I'm counting on you!

Also you might perhaps want a cup of wine or two prior your next attempt? You seemed too impressed by the beast

Now then, I'm sure the second one will be the good one! You have to prevail! Aren't men and women riding horses for centuries? You WILL succeed "

My reply was:

"Just sent you the research I've been doing on how to use the toy. I was not able to try again the day after my first try because I was too sore from trying to push it in quickly. I apologize for that. I really had no idea the amount of practice it takes to insert a huge toy. I have emailed bad dragon to request their free care package that they send to cam girls. Any content I create after practicing or as I practice will be sent to you

Again, I apologize for my tight vagina and my limited knowledge on how extra large toys work. I'm doing my research though and I'll keep you updated every step of the way!"


I think I am trying too hard to please him and in doing so I'm pushing myself to an uncomfortable place mentally and physically. It's something that has gotten me in tough places on cam because I try to please everyone and ignore my own body.

I guess my question to you now is since I've already told him I "wont give up" and Ill keep training to take it do I follow through despite now knowing it is not something I personally enjoy? This website allows them to leave bad reviews and I'm worried about that as well. But mostly worried I've lead him on and I'm really beating myself up over it as I cant imagine how he feels after spending $300 and not getting to see me fully impaled.

 

[EmptyKins]

Given that this post is not about the toy company Bad Dragon, please let me know what you would like me to rename the thread as not to mislead future readers.

Yes please I'm sorry about the thread name could you change it to "Huge toy/custom issue"
Thank you

 

[Ms_Gingersnatch]

He has not responded to any of my messages. And he has taken to updating his little status with "VERY disappointed" or "wow I've been scammed again"

His initial response to the 2 unboxing videos and first attempt video was:
"Hold on. Are you trying to say that this little piece of plastic beat you?!
In my opinion it was pretty close, I think that you had your chance when you were standing. I guess if you stick it on a chair you can do it! I'm counting on you!
Also you might perhaps want a cup of wine or two prior your next attempt? You seemed too impressed by the beast
Now then, I'm sure the second one will be the good one! You have to prevail! Aren't men and women riding horses for centuries? You WILL succeed "

Ummm... I really don't like his tone. Or some of the things he's saying.

Firstly, the answer to "it doesn't fit" should NOT be "have a couple glasses of wine," especially since your pussy is something you use for work, so you really shouldn't be breaking it. Pain (the unpleasant kind, not the masochistic pleasure kind) is a warning sign from your body and always means stop and adjust, or stop all together, NOT find some way to numb the pain so you can proceed and potentially damage yourself. (This is one of the numerous reasons why numbing anal lube is an idiotic and unsafe product.)

Secondly, this person doesn't have a vagina, much less your vagina. He's not coaching you on how to get it in there safely and comfortably, he's just telling you what positions he'd like to see you in.

Thirdly, what does riding horses have to do with anything? (Is it a horse-related toy?) He must have a profound misunderstanding of how the horn of a western style saddle is used. Or perhaps he means that people have been fucking horses for centuries? I'd love to see him cite a source for that. As far as I know, the Catherine the Great thing is a myth. People that breed racing horses do so by artificial insemination specifically because two horses fucking each other can get quite dangerous, and you don't want your racing horses getting hurt. I suspect that any human that has actually attempted to get intimate with a horse got a swift kick to the head or suffered internal hemorrhaging and died.

Finally, this is so passive-aggressive, especially those status messages.

I think I am trying too hard to please him and in doing so I'm pushing myself to an uncomfortable place mentally and physically. It's something that has gotten me in tough places on cam because I try to please everyone and ignore my own body.

I guess my question to you now is since I've already told him I "wont give up" and Ill keep training to take it do I follow through despite now knowing it is not something I personally enjoy? This website allows them to leave bad reviews and I'm worried about that as well. But mostly worried I've lead him on and I'm really beating myself up over it as I cant imagine how he feels after spending $300 and not getting to see me fully impaled.

If it were me, I'd suggest that he could do a paid cam show in which he can talk you through it. He can pay for the time you spend working your way up to the big toy, and the time you spend struggling with it (but not hurting yourself!). Frankly, though, I'm pretty comfortable telling a dude that something just ain't gonna fit in the place he wants it to go, so we're done trying. I don't know that you would be able to say no if put on the spot, so this probably isn't a good idea for you. (I mean this in the nicest way possible, but if you're going to practice camming skills, you should probably prioritize saying no, not taking over sized insertions.)

As a second choice, you could block him, ghost on him, or just tell him that you've done your best and he isn't getting anything else in terms of videos. He seems like a bully and the type that won't be satisfied no matter what you do. He'll probably try to milk that $300 toy for fucking ever.

If you must give him one last video, maybe do exactly as he suggested: stick the thing to a chair, struggle with it, talk about how big it is, bla bla bla, then slowly slide down on top of it, but just let the toy ride up your butt crack. I mean, if you're balls deep on the toy, he shouldn't be able to see much other than you sitting on a chair, no? Grind, talk a lot about how big it feels, lots of dirty talk, rub your clit to orgasm (or fake one), and call it a day. Then absolutely consider it even. If he wants to complain at that point, block.

 

[Rose]

This guy sounds like an EXTREMELY overentitled douchefucker. Tell him to go fuck a Bad Dragon in the ass with no lube, in fact I have one the size of my arm he can borrow. Generally it's just for show but I think it warrants use for twats like this loser.

 

[LaceyRoyce]

Please just tell this piece of manipulative crap that u will mail him the toy and he can shove it up his own arse after a couple glasses of wine.

You will never please everyone in this industry. You sound like a sweetheart who is trying very hard to make sure hes satisfied and he sounds like a prick who is capitalizing on your worries. It hurt my heart to read you apologize for your own vagina. Big dragon toys are huge..and he fucking knows it and is trying to make you do something with zero concern for your body.

You have made him a video of you attempting to take the toy. You have fulfilled your end of the bargain.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I've had a similar thing happen with a toy that ended up waaaay too huge to handle. I did the show and the member was fortunately very sweet and talked me through what I COULD do without injuring myself. This guy on the other hand is being a complete tool. You have gone above and beyond to accommodate his requests to the best of your ability-just know that. I'm very sorry you're dealing with someone like this What website is this on that he can leave a bad review btw? You did your end of the deal-I'd block/ban and see if the site can get rid of disgruntled reviews

 

[Lelo1]

have you tried tweeting Bad Dragon?

 

[SaffronBurke]

have you tried tweeting Bad Dragon?

Not sure what they could do about the situation. Unless they're in the habit of having dudes try out too-big dildos on themselves after they insist that someone else take them.

 

[EmptyKins]

Thank you all for your thoughtful replies. He has since changed his entire profile to only read: "Yup! Sounds like I'm an idiot. Foul me once shame on you, foul me twice shame on me"

At first, I took it way too serious, logged off for two days, and reconsidered my entire life as a cam girl.

Then today I went through his own reviews left by other girls and he has done this before. So I am done trying to appease him.

I feel bad for having gotten into this mess by not being firm in my own boundaries. I'm going to make a list of things I'm comfortable with and stick to it. I've seen other girls create cute little "disclaimer" graphics for their profile with which things they will never do. Is that helpful to see as a member?

 

[Entertainer33]

I've seen other girls create cute little "disclaimer" graphics for their profile with which things they will never do. Is that helpful to see as a member?

Usually, yeah. You can see who actually puts in effort by reading your profile BEFORE sending requests, and it helps legit guys know you're up for something.

 

[MojitosJourney]

This guy is an asshole, his responses infuriated me and I'm normally pretty damn positive and accepting, spreading sunshine and rainbows wherever I go.

Sometimes you're going to get customers that push your boundaries, that disrespect you, and that are impossible to please.

This is your sexuality, your vagina. It's not a table you're building him as a carpenter and you couldn't complete the project. Sharing your sexuality with others is special. You are not a sex robot or a sex vending machine. If a customer doesn't treat you right, with compassion and respect - it doesn't matter how much money they spent. Cut them loose or their negative energy will drag you under and turn this from a job you LOVE to a job you hate.

Sincerely, formerly overly nice girl who used to appease and try to please customers like this but now uses webcamming as platform to grow her own strong boundaries and assertiveness.