camming in general has helped me see myself in a different light. as well as helped me gain a better sense of the level of bullshit i wont take lol
mfc is awesome because unlike other sites i really do have more freedom than the other site i used to work. which is why i am hesitant to go back there. mfc has allowed me ways to contact people outside of the site to see how they are etc. I can choose if I am not ready to do a show to say no not right now.
Overall I am self conscious about how i look, i had the hot mom growing up. the stripper mom as a matter of fact. so even the guys i was INTO were like... whats up with your mom?? :evil: :shock: that and being thick and solidly built has always had me wondering if i was pretty enough etc.
I am probably more aware of my belly and the extra weight I gained after surgery on my left foot, I had always been solidly built plus sized, but i tell you 2 months of bed rest plus extremely limited mobility and severe depression as a result.. that can make you really get out of shape fast.
I get a positive response in my room for belly requests, people seem to love my 55 1/2 in ass.. yes i got bored and measured it - under the tummy not across it - mainly cuz a chick i met on adultspace claims a 66 in ass so i was like.. hm how big is mine.
I have always been more comfy out of clothes than in clothes
but i am becoming more aware of lighting thanks to mfc and this forum
i am also more aware that i need to be creative and myself. never really tried to be anything but who i am, but it helps keep in mind when i brain storm or need to vent that i am appreciated as i am.
i love this community i have come across on mfc as well as thru ambers forum
amber