Help me help a Friend

[cupcakeattack]

Hello, and thanks for your time!

I mentioned to a friend the other day about MFC models and what they do. I explained a few of the basics to her, and she seemed interested. While not enchanted with the idea, or all that excited about it, there's potential.

Wether she goes into this or not is not why I'm here, just a little background to why I'm about to ask the major question here:

The one major issues she has (She's never done any stripping before, but she does have a touch of a slutty side to her ) is her weight. I'm not going to lie, she is a tad heavy.
She's not happy about her weight and she's mentioned she wants to change this before, but when we try and make a sechdule, it quickly falls apart, as she works 12 hours a day, 7 days a week (part of the reason why I mentioned camming; she can get the money, and actually enjoy herself instead of working herself to the bones for peanuts).

So, girls; how would you recomend a 12-a-day,-7-a-week woman get comfortable in her own body?

 

[Evvie]

It seems like you are not asking how can she get comfortable with her body, but how can she lose weight on a schedule like that.

If a woman needs to be comfortable with her body, learning that comfort takes time. Even some of the most beautiful (and thin) camgirls are often upset with how they look. I weigh 101 pounds and I still have days where I wake up feeling very uncomfortable with how I look in the mirror. The concept that being thin will alone make you comfortable with your body is laughable. There's nothing wrong with wanting to lose weight, but being thin is no guarantee that you will be happy with yourself.

So, girls; how would you recomend a 12-a-day,-7-a-week woman get comfortable in her own body?

I would recommend she start camming. It has done more for my self image than anything else I've ever done.

 

[cupcakeattack]

It seems like you are not asking how can she get comfortable with her body, but how can she lose weight on a schedule like that.

If a woman needs to be comfortable with her body, learning that comfort takes time. Even some of the most beautiful (and thin) camgirls are often upset with how they look. I weigh 101 pounds and I still have days where I wake up feeling very uncomfortable with how I look in the mirror. The concept that being thin will alone make you comfortable with your body is laughable.

So, girls; how would you recomend a 12-a-day,-7-a-week woman get comfortable in her own body?

I would recommend she start camming. It has done more for my self image than anything else I've ever done.

Alright, I'll show her this thread if she interested.
Really, I don't care if she's large or small, camming or not, she's my friend, and I really want to make her happy.

 

[16_bit]

One thing to make sure of before she starts camming is that she won't take negative comments to heart. It's a sad fact that some people of mfc are trolls or bitter when they don't get what they want and will attack her. I've even seen some call girls fat who aren't. She will need to be able to put up with this side of camming so it doesn't make things worse for her.
Maybe looking on mfc for some of the models closer to her weight, and then showing her them will help with her confidence in her own body and may also help if she does decide to cam.

 

[PinkiePixi]

I second what Evvie said! But yes, make sure she is prepared for potential negative comments. I am overweight. Thankfully I havent gotten a ton of jerks, but Im also fairly new and have a fairly low camscore, so my exposure hasnt been tremendous. As its going up and I am able to do more and more public shows - I have been getting more assholes who come in and comment on my weight. Nothing a quick raised eyebrow and a ban cant fix, having dedicated regs also helps because they stand up for you. Ive been getting about 1-3 per public show. It doesnt bother me, but if shes really self conscious make sure she can take it. The ups are far more abundant than the downs, but if the downs hurt her more than the ups help her - it will only make her feel worse, and there is no need for that!

If she wants to ask me anything, shes welcome to PM me - I would be happy to answer any of her questions or concerns regarding my experiences with camming and my size.

 

[cupcakeattack]

If she wants to ask me anything, shes welcome to PM me - I would be happy to answer any of her questions or concerns regarding my experiences with camming and my size.

One thing to make sure of before she starts camming is that she won't take negative comments to heart. It's a sad fact that some people of mfc are trolls or bitter when they don't get what they want and will attack her. I've even seen some call girls fat who aren't. She will need to be able to put up with this side of camming so it doesn't make things worse for her

I'm sure she'll appreciate that. Also, she's IS a overweight, and she has very little self estiteem, part of the reason she wants to loose weight. I think loosing weight would really help her come into her own. But until then, taking criticism is going to be a hard thing.

 

[southsamurai]

heres a little known thingy about guys on mfc: if the chick is skinny she'll get told way to often that shes tooo skinny. if shes rounder, shell be told shes too fat. if the lady is just average? well then she'll get both. men are idiots on mfc, an established fact like statement. that being said, theres no way you as a person can get her comfortable with her self image. she is the only person that can change that, and its not an easy thing to shift. i would bet my favorite toe that if she lost every bit of weight that she feels is too much that she would still have confidence and image issues.

i like women. big women, skinny women. tall women, short women ( dwarves too!) white, black, yellow, brown, whatever. i dont think that any single type is bad or good, its all about the person in the skin. and yes, ive dated/slept with some chicks that werent what society calls pretty, one or two were sort of ugly by the broader societal definitions. ive also dated/slept with ladies that were model/actress gorgeous. one thing i found universal is that none of them were "happy" with their appearance. ther was always something that they didnt like or wanted to change.

myself, im a big, fat, hairy dude, balding and goofy. i rather like all of the above most days (could wish the hair was going away slower) but it took me decades to get to that point.

all of that to get around to saying that if your friend wants to cam its an awesome thing from what ive heard for self esteem, but the process can be bumpy. i don't know if it will work if thats why she tries it though

 

[Evvie]

Quite true, Samurai. When men get angry at me they often call me fat.

Cupcake, I encourage you to have your ladyfriend sign up on ACF. She won't be able to access the model's only section until she starts actively camming, but this forum is a great resource.

I used to be extremely sensitive when I started camming, but it's helped me grow a thick skin.

If your ladyfriend starts camming, it's not like she's GUARANTEED to receive emotional abuse, but the likelihood is high. Very often men try to find out my personal information, they tell me they're going to come to my house and hurt me, they ask me to pretend like a child for rape roleplay, they say things like "I will have a gun when I come to your house... lets see if you obey me then" they try to make me feel ashamed of my lifestyle, and so on, ad nauseum.

Now, I don't mean to make camming sound horrible. It's not. Those men make up a very small percentage of the men who are kind, generous, and genuinely concerned for me. I think the last time I got a very negative comment was two weeks ago, and I can't remember when the last time was before that. Most men are actually really super cool and I consider many of the guys that come in to my chatroom to be my friends. My point is, your ladyfriend is going to receive negative comments no matter what she starts doing. Nor is she guaranteed to make a ton of money (I would wager that the majority of cam models do not make more than minimum wage). If she sticks with it, she could possibly make a ton of money, learn to love her body and have a great time. But if you put yourself out there, well, you put yourself out there.

 

[PlayboyMegan]

It really can go either way. I don't think she should cam until she is 100% comfortable with it. When women do something they are not comfortable with, especially involving sexual acts, it can be psychologically damaging.
Some girls, like Evvie, get stronger from it. More confident. For others, it has the opposite effect. It's usually the same reason some cam girls HAVE to drink or do drugs before every shift.
I may be the only one seeing this, but your post seems kind of pushy. This is NOT an industry any woman should ever be even nudged in the direction of. They should have it in their own minds that they are a sexual being who would enjoy making money from it. If she's not excited off the bat, drop it.

 

[Jessi]

It really can go either way. I don't think she should cam until she is 100% comfortable with it. When women do something they are not comfortable with, especially involving sexual acts, it can be psychologically damaging.
Some girls, like Evvie, get stronger from it. More confident. For others, it has the opposite effect. It's usually the same reason some cam girls HAVE to drink or do drugs before every shift.
I may be the only one seeing this, but your post seems kind of pushy. This is NOT an industry any woman should ever be even nudged in the direction of. They should have it in their own minds that they are a sexual being who would enjoy making money from it. If she's not excited off the bat, drop it.

I just want to second megan's point. Camming is NOT for everyone. It is not easy money, and while we like to try and help everyone here, in the end not everyone is cut out to be a successful camgirl.
If your friend doesn't have a thick skin, camming will be depressing and hurtful experience for her. There are people out there whose sole purpose in life is to bring others down, and a camsite is the perfect hunting ground.
.

 

[cupcakeattack]

I want to thank everyone for their input so far, If she does decide to give this a try, I'll make sure to show her these forums first, I also suggested talking to a few of you before she decided yes or no.

I may be the only one seeing this, but your post seems kind of pushy. This is NOT an industry any woman should ever be even nudged in the direction of. They should have it in their own minds that they are a sexual being who would enjoy making money from it. If she's not excited off the bat, drop it.

I'm sorry if I sounded like I was pushing her in that direction, I more of mentioned it, she asked how it work, I told her, she said the issue she had with it, and I decided to ask some of your girls for advice on these matters, that why if she decided to give it a try, I'd have this thread ready for her to read over and take some advice from.

Either way, I don't plan on pushing her into it, I know that doing so can hurt her more than help her, so I'm going to let her bring up the topic again if we ever talk about it.

 

[RogueWarrior]

Camming is NOT for everyone. It is not easy money, .............., in the end not everyone is cut out to be a successful camgirl.

.

I really just wanted to thank that portion of the post. The "thank" button is so indiscriminate.

 

[ComicOzzie]

If she wants to ask me anything, shes welcome to PM me - I would be happy to answer any of her questions or concerns regarding my experiences with camming and my size.

One thing to make sure of before she starts camming is that she won't take negative comments to heart. It's a sad fact that some people of mfc are trolls or bitter when they don't get what they want and will attack her. I've even seen some call girls fat who aren't. She will need to be able to put up with this side of camming so it doesn't make things worse for her

I'm sure she'll appreciate that. Also, she's IS a overweight, and she has very little self esteem, part of the reason she wants to loose weight. I think loosing weight would really help her come into her own. But until then, taking criticism is going to be a hard thing.

Camming can be a disaster for someone with self esteem issues. The assholes on MFC can be merciless.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I have a friend who has money issues/has been thinking about camming, she's gorgeous and would quite possibly go to top model territory, yet she's not that keen, so hasn't started doing it even though like your friend she really needs the money, lots of stress/long hours it's a big step to take.

I'm overweight and my camscore's at 4k atm, granted I'm bigger built/have curves but not many people would call me fat, well, except for very ignorant people. But... I will say, that I haven't noticed many girls with a score higher than mine who are bigger than I am. Amber's one of the only curvy top models I've noticed but she's very trim/toned, just has mahoovesive breasts and hips! I have seen plenty of girls around 3k camscore doing very well who are my weight/bigger though.
I will also point out that in over a years camming I think only a couple of people have ever made negative comments about my weight, some of them not intentional. (One guy once decided it was appropriate to say right at the end of a cumshow how gorgeous I was but how I'd be dramatically more gorgeous if I lost a few kilos, and yes, he got attacked by the room as he tried to backtrack before he got banned.) Some guys on mfc don't think with their brains and may make hurtful comments without realising. Sometimes guys are just douches and want to hate.
I thought I'd get a LOT more comments about my weight though, actually very very few of my troll comments have anything to do with my weight. One guy once told me I smell.... I hadn't realised mfc has installed smell technology...
Actually weight is the only thing I can be insecure about, I've spent my life being beautiful/being told i'm beautiful and having beautiful friends and family, how attractive I actually am is probably a lot less than I assume, but it's resulted in me barely giving two craps how I look. Weight on the other hand, I have been told consistently since I was 10 that I need to lose it.

Camming can either do amazing things to the ego, or terrible things. I don't know, go on mfcs, go have a look around and see if you can find girls similar to her and see what camscore level they are at. I don't know what you mean by overweight, you could mean my size, or slimmer or really anything above.

 

[HiGirlsRHot]

Camming can be a disaster for someone with self esteem issues. The assholes on MFC can be merciless.

I think so to. We see the top models pull in 5-10,000+ tokens in a few hours and think damn this is some nice money. But the system is heavily weight to the top models. I've have been checking and the median rooms have 5 viewers, and typical one or sometimes 2 premiums. Looking at their cams score 400-700 for these median room, these woman aren't going to be making much more than minimum wage $15/hour tops. Most of these average cam girls are thin and pretty and in real world where 70% of American are overweight or obese would be considered hot.

I have been told that there are successful BBW models, but since it isn't my thing I don't really know. I do notice that a large number of the least popular rooms (and we are taking 2 viewers) have overweight woman, some pretty others not so pretty.

I've spent a lot of time in both Isabella and PlayboyMegan rooms and as you can tell by their avatars these are exceptionally beautiful girls and they also have killer bodies. Now while they both get a steady stream of compliments for obvious reasons, the do get periodic comments from guys telling them that they are overweight, or their boobs are too small (well Isabella probably has never heard that ) along with the normal asshole behavior of guys of MFC. They both have pretty healthy ego regarding their looks so I doubt that a few negative comments have that big impact, but even supermodels have things they'd like to change about their appearance, so even comments from douche bags on the internet have to sting a bit if they hit the right buttons.

Anyway if you call your friend fat, you and her have to expect that assholes will be far less kind.

 

[LadyLuna]

About self esteem issues:

-if she does well, then she'll get an awesome boost to her self esteem. The bad bit about that is, it's likely to tank on the bad days if it's dependent on how she's doing. It takes 20 good days to offset 1 bad. If she's getting maybe 2 bad days a month, she should be all right.

-if she does poorly, then it could make her self-esteem problems worse.

-Streamate has a lot less trolls on it, and even puts heavier girls into their own section so the only guys who come into their room are those who are either okay with heavy, or actively seeking heavy. Thus, she's much less likely to have the members themselves eating away at her self esteem on Streamate.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Now while they both get a steady stream of compliments for obvious reasons, the do get periodic comments from guys telling them that they are overweight, or their boobs are too small (well Isabella probably has never heard that )

No... of a matter of fact I haven't.... lol if someone did, it'd be a definite "wtf?!" comment. Kind of like someone telling Megan she's overweight?!!!! Wtf?!! Seriously?!
That's basically what I mean about the whole idea of overweight/fat. Anyone who thinks Megan is overweight probably needs to seek a partner in the eating disorder ward in a hospital. If they think she's overweight then I'm obese, and by their standards someone I might consider fat is gigantic.
The problem with airbrushing and a lot of stuff we see on tv is they will not let us see the tiniest bit of fat unless it's on a fat person! They smooth out parts of our bodies that are natural and normal, gives a lot of people a really weird impression. I will also point out that the camera adds 10 pounds. There's a girl I know who models and me and other people would think by the photos she was about the same size as me. Wrong. When I got to know her better although certain proportions were similar, in real life you can see the difference.

Anyway if you call your friend fat, you and her have to expect that assholes will be far less kind.

Word.

 

[curvyredhead]

I wish it was possible to simply thank an entire thread!