Help about situation

[anonCamGuy69]

Hi all

I apologise for possible duplication. I know this is a situation that happens over and over. I am not a newbie. Been seeing some women on cam sites for several years on and off now. I have developed a lifelong friendship with a woman who I met as a cam girl a few years ago. In many ways my query is the opposite of what guys normally ask though. I'm in a situation where a professional relationship/friendship/more???? with a model has become very intense for a while and the relationship fantasy has become so out of control I don't know what is real with her any more. And I care so much for her (and the other women I meet online) I don't want to hurt them.

I know models are doing a job and the best are able to make a wonderful fantasy for their clients. And make it so real that emotional entanglements and complications do arise. But I think the recent model I have been seeing is either the best actor in the world in terms of relationship fantasy or I am going to have to really hurt her feelings (either as stopping being a client or ending relationship). I know people will laugh but I don't like to have to break up with people in serious relationships (business or personal) even if that is a relationship with a model on a cam site that has become very real and very intense. However, I think I have to risk the chance what she has said has any reality and real feelings because it can't go on anymore. I am finding it impossible both in terms of the real and constant personal communications we have all the time (all hours), as well as potential financial problems with becoming entrapped by a beautiful wonderful model. I love and care for very much but I am scared what she feels has become totally real. But then again I am still a customer so I suspect it isn't.

So I don't have much of a choice. I just have to stop seeing her and somehow stop communications at the risk that she isn't just a brilliant performer and that she actually feels some or all of what she says. I'm hoping someone can give me some advice.

What do you say to end that situation with someone when you think it probably isnt real but it may be. And I know, with total respect to all the models, that that is the game.

Sorry about the stupid question. But I'm a bit lost

thankyou

Caring guy in a bit of a mess

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

Just quit visiting her. Or, if you really feel that it is necessary, you could explain the situation. But I think that usually ends up making it worse, rather than better.

You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you won't or can't continue visiting them for their services.

 

[BiancaBaker]

So I don't have much of a choice. I just have to stop seeing her and somehow stop communications at the risk that she isn't just a brilliant performer and that she actually feels some or all of what she says. I'm hoping someone can give me some advice.

Agree with Mollie.. STOP visiting her. 95 percent of us do not want relationships (Im sure there is a small percentage who met there significant on a cam site) but lets be honest this is not normal. She probably has a significant other (like most of us do) and is just doing her job (again like most of us are)..

I still have 0 clue WHY members think we are interested in them?... Do you think the girl who's super nice to you at a grocery store (or whatever) check out is into you too? like come on..

 

[mynameisbob84]

I still have 0 clue WHY members think we are interested in them?... Do you think the girl who's super nice to you at a grocery store (or whatever) check out is into you too? like come on..

Well... I did! She always smiles at me and tells me to have a nice day. Sometimes she even calls me "sir" and as yet, hasn't even followed it up with "you're causing a scene". But now I'm beginning to question whether she's just some emotional sadist playing sick and twisted mind games with me and our relationship is built on nothing more than contractually obligated pleasantries. I'mma go prepare a list of questions to ask her next time I go grocery shopping.

 

[SMuser69]

I still have 0 clue WHY members think we are interested in them?... Do you think the girl who's super nice to you at a grocery store (or whatever) check out is into you too? like come on..

You're guessing numbers and speaking WELL beyond your experience. I can think of three reasons right off the bat.

1. Affiliates that put 'date' or 'love' in their site names.
2. Wealth and power. For what you say to be true then you would have to prove that trophy wives do not exist or that there aren't woman/models ATTRACTED to wealth.
3. Escape. It's still fairly common for a regular of a EU or Asian model to be approached about Visa or Green Card access. They see that US flag and someone with the wallet to get things done and it's a no brainer to them.

I'm not suggesting it's right or wrong what you are saying. A professional model SHOULD be allowed the expectation the member is there just for professional services. But you're enjoying the moral outrage more than discussing the many problems that create the situation.

tl;dr You're clearly a strong professional model that lives in a 1st world situation. You're not considering that US models are a vast minority of available global models. A member is more likely to encounter a NON US model on any give site unless they are looking specifically for a US model. (sorry this is longer than it should be for tl;dr)

 

[THE MOLLIE MARIE]

You're guessing numbers and speaking WELL beyond your experience.

Here we go again...

 

[AudriTwo]

I have developed a lifelong friendship with a woman who I met as a cam girl a few years ago.

i have a feeling you don't have to many friends, because i don't develop lifelong friends in just a short time. i see that as 15+ years. i'm not trying to knock ya down man. but maybe it's safe to say you could be perceiving things more than what they really are? camgirls are damn good at their job. some of them fill the role as fun flirty friend who is okay with you masturbating to them, sometimes those friendships can get close. remember, you are paying for this interaction. would she be the same way if you haven't tipped her $x?

have you ever asked her what does she really feel about you? if you feel like this girl is teeter tottering on is this real or not, you have several options, stop seeing her, confront her, or continue.

we can't make that decision for you.

 

[BiancaBaker]

You're guessing numbers and speaking WELL beyond your experience. I can think of three reasons right off the bat.

1. Affiliates that put 'date' or 'love' in their site names.
2. Wealth and power. For what you say to be true then you would have to prove that trophy wives do not exist or that there aren't woman/models ATTRACTED to wealth.
3. Escape. It's still fairly common for a regular of a EU or Asian model to be approached about Visa or Green Card access. They see that US flag and someone with the wallet to get things done and it's a no brainer to them.

I'm not suggesting it's right or wrong what you are saying. A professional model SHOULD be allowed the expectation the member is there just for professional services. But you're enjoying the moral outrage more than discussing the many problems that create the situation.

tl;dr You're clearly a strong professional model that lives in a 1st world situation. You're not considering that US models are a vast minority of available global models. A member is more likely to encounter a NON US model on any give site unless they are looking specifically for a US model. (sorry this is longer than it should be for tl;dr)

WELL beyond my experience of 6 years OKAY DUDE.


How many cam girls have you dated? NONE... I THOUGHT SO.


I'd love a list of all the ladies (more than my guess of a percentage who is dating in a committed relationship) with a member.. There isn't a long ass list? WELL I WONDER WHY?

Your clearly delusional just like this dude.

 

[ChrissyDee]

Choosing models from developing countries because your meagre wealth is more attractive to them than models in better economic countries is usually a recipe for being scammed. I think you're wildly overestimating the level of success even outside of the "first world."

Citations: one & two & three

 

[JickyJuly]

If you think of her as a friend but understand this is her business, I think it is reasonable to drop her a note just saying that you're busy with other things and won't be around anymore. Do NOT say anything about a relationship or closure or anything that makes it seem personal. That gets awkward. Make it sound like something you could be ccing to any camgirl you visit. Some might disagree, but I also think putting a tip with the kiss off is tacky.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

Wealth and power. For what you say to be true then you would have to prove that trophy wives do not exist or that there aren't woman/models ATTRACTED to wealth.

Lots of women are attracted to wealth/power and are throphy girlfriends/wives wannabe or goldigger as you may call them. But most often than not if they aren't smart enough they will learn very quickly and at their expense how such replaceble items they are and soon will be. My 2 cents.

 

[AudriTwo]

Lots of women are attracted to wealth/power and are throphy girlfriends/wives wannabe or goldigger as you may call them. But most often than not if they aren't smart enough they will learn very quickly and at their expense how such replaceble items they are and soon will be. My 2 cents.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

What do you say to end that situation with someone when you think it probably isnt real but it may be.

No one can tell you exactly what to say, nor should they (without an intimate knowledge of your conversational history with the model). But personally, I would recommend you go out with a bold, dramatic, intriguing lie.

.02

 

[_pilya_]

The "Right" person for everyone is out there! But in camsite it's always good to keep in mind...
"caveant emptor/caveant venditor"

 

[snowwolf87]

I still have 0 clue WHY members think we are interested in them?... Do you think the girl who's super nice to you at a grocery store (or whatever) check out is into you too? like come on..

In fact, many guys do think that. Many guys are very poor at reading social cues, so any woman being nice gets misread as attraction.

Put that on a cam site where not only is the woman being nice, but she is being sexually nice. Well, all kinds of wrong conclusions are reached.

Add in that cam sites tend to attract just this kind of guy and you get just what you are seeing - lots of members think you want them.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

caveant emptor/caveant venditor

Emptor is singular just as venditor so caveat emptor, caveat venditor it's the correct sentence. My high school Latin teacher would be so proud of me right now.

 

[BiancaBaker]

In fact, many guys do think that. Many guys are very poor at reading social cues, so any woman being nice gets misread as attraction.

Put that on a cam site where not only is the woman being nice, but she is being sexually nice. Well, all kinds of wrong conclusions are reached.

Add in that cam sites tend to attract just this kind of guy and you get just what you are seeing - lots of members think you want them.

then dude's need to realize there not special snowflakes because most of us do not want to date them.. Even in real life; if someone isn't into you then drop it. You can't force someone to like you. Nice doesn't mean we want to get in your pants.. Period.

 

[snowwolf87]

then dude's need to realize there not special snowflakes because most of us do not want to date them.. Even in real life; if someone isn't into you then drop it. You can't force someone to like you. Nice doesn't mean we want to get in your pants.. Period.

Agreed.

 

[Nikola Tesla]

I would recommend you go out with a bold, dramatic, intriguing lie.

Always leave them wanting more ~ PT Barnum


ETA: Good to hear from you JJTP

 

[OldHippy]

Don’t confuse love with lust, they can feel very similar without proper examination.

A long long time ago, when I was at university, I worked as a bartender at several nightclubs. I had regular customers who I would see a couple of times a week, we would chat, share a joke, sometimes I would give them a free drink. I suppose you could say on some level they were my friends (after all what is friendship?) . What I do remember is that I never referred to these guys and girls as “friends”, they were always “one of the regulars”. For sure I thought that some of them were really nice people and I looked forward to seeing them at work, but they were not part of my normal social circle. I did have friends who were my colleagues at work but they were different from our customers. Also I remember that very few of my social circle outside of work would come and visit me at work, to me it just seems a bit strange to be at someone’s place of work if you are not a) a customer or b) a colleague.

I could only imagine that things get even much more complicated with the adult industry.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

WELL beyond my experience of 6 years OKAY DUDE.


How many cam girls have you dated? NONE... I THOUGHT SO.


I'd love a list of all the ladies (more than my guess of a percentage who is dating in a committed relationship) with a member.. There isn't a long ass list? WELL I WONDER WHY?

Your clearly delusional just like this dude.

I'm not delusional. Its the model who is (may be)

I really hoped for some genuine thoughtful advice from people with experience in the field who may actually understand I am trying not to hurt someone rather than insuts but I guess the way the other threads looked I whouldn't hve expected anything else

Thanks

ACG

 

[anonCamGuy69]

In fact, many guys do think that. Many guys are very poor at reading social cues, so any woman being nice gets misread as attraction.

Put that on a cam site where not only is the woman being nice, but she is being sexually nice. Well, all kinds of wrong conclusions are reached.

Add in that cam sites tend to attract just this kind of guy and you get just what you are seeing - lots of members think you want them.

The problem is, in this situation everything is reversed

Thats why I'm asking for advice

The fantasy works both ways. But somtimes people don't realise its just fantasy. And sometimes there is so much intimacy (both ways) in terms of people's lives .... And we are all human ( i assume) with real feelngs. So sometimes one or both may develop feelings which causes problems

Its very hard this time. I think she is just very good at what she does but who knows

best ACG

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Agree with Mollie.. STOP visiting her. 95 percent of us do not want relationships (Im sure there is a small percentage who met there significant on a cam site) but lets be honest this is not normal. She probably has a significant other (like most of us do) and is just doing her job (again like most of us are)..

I still have 0 clue WHY members think we are interested in them?... Do you think the girl who's super nice to you at a grocery store (or whatever) check out is into you too? like come on..

Bianca

Thankyou but I don't think you understand whats been going on. We exchanged WhatsApp and she messages me all the time and is very needy for my company and reassurance (not just paid stuff) and wants an ongoing relationship (probably just business but she says she wants more so who knows). I just feel bad. I know much of it is about her business but she also contacts me all the time just to talk and the future. Its such a mess. I'm not good at breaking up with people, even with someone providing a Cam service

Its hard. I don't go to the sites for relationshps. I'm not one of those guys

Best ACG

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Just quit visiting her. Or, if you really feel that it is necessary, you could explain the situation. But I think that usually ends up making it worse, rather than better.

You don't owe anyone an explanation as to why you won't or can't continue visiting them for their services.

Thankyou. I know I should. She has my private contact details. I'm just worried about how serious she seems. I'm not the sort of guy who likes break ups even with a situation like this. I just find it hard. But I suspect she is playing the game hard. I guess I just have to risk hurting her if she really is serious

Thankyou

Best ACG

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Hi all

I apologise for possible duplication. I know this is a situation that happens over and over. I am not a newbie. Been seeing some women on cam sites for several years on and off now. I have developed a lifelong friendship with a woman who I met as a cam girl a few years ago. In many ways my query is the opposite of what guys normally ask though. I'm in a situation where a professional relationship/friendship/more???? with a model has become very intense for a while and the relationship fantasy has become so out of control I don't know what is real with her any more. And I care so much for her (and the other women I meet online) I don't want to hurt them.

I know models are doing a job and the best are able to make a wonderful fantasy for their clients. And make it so real that emotional entanglements and complications do arise. But I think the recent model I have been seeing is either the best actor in the world in terms of relationship fantasy or I am going to have to really hurt her feelings (either as stopping being a client or ending relationship). I know people will laugh but I don't like to have to break up with people in serious relationships (business or personal) even if that is a relationship with a model on a cam site that has become very real and very intense. However, I think I have to risk the chance what she has said has any reality and real feelings because it can't go on anymore. I am finding it impossible both in terms of the real and constant personal communications we have all the time (all hours), as well as potential financial problems with becoming entrapped by a beautiful wonderful model. I love and care for very much but I am scared what she feels has become totally real. But then again I am still a customer so I suspect it isn't.

So I don't have much of a choice. I just have to stop seeing her and somehow stop communications at the risk that she isn't just a brilliant performer and that she actually feels some or all of what she says. I'm hoping someone can give me some advice.

What do you say to end that situation with someone when you think it probably isnt real but it may be. And I know, with total respect to all the models, that that is the game.

Sorry about the stupid question. But I'm a bit lost

thankyou

Caring guy in a bit of a mess

Thankyou for everyone's comments but I think some people missed the point. She is the serious one. And I am finding it hard to get away

That is what I said. I only went to the site to see Cam girlls, not for reltionships

 

[anonCamGuy69]

i have a feeling you don't have to many friends, because i don't develop lifelong friends in just a short time. i see that as 15+ years. i'm not trying to knock ya down man. but maybe it's safe to say you could be perceiving things more than what they really are? camgirls are damn good at their job. some of them fill the role as fun flirty friend who is okay with you masturbating to them, sometimes those friendships can get close. remember, you are paying for this interaction. would she be the same way if you haven't tipped her $x?

have you ever asked her what does she really feel about you? if you feel like this girl is teeter tottering on is this real or not, you have several options, stop seeing her, confront her, or continue.

we can't make that decision for you.

I have loads of friends. There was no need for that. I just meant she is a good friend and we committed to being friends for life. We made that promise to each other.

I just don't know what to do in this other situation though because she is being very serious and yet I feel it is all mixed up with just wanting the money which is her business. I just don't feel its right for me to feel bad about the situation. But if she really feels something and I have to sop it I don't know. I just find it hard even though we all know the score.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

If you think of her as a friend but understand this is her business, I think it is reasonable to drop her a note just saying that you're busy with other things and won't be around anymore. Do NOT say anything about a relationship or closure or anything that makes it seem personal. That gets awkward. Make it sound like something you could be ccing to any camgirl you visit. Some might disagree, but I also think putting a tip with the kiss off is tacky.

Thanks

It already past the awkward stage. Also the friend is someone else who was a cam girl, not this situation

The situation is very awkward and already has potential to be difficult. We have had a lot more contact and intimacy than a few tips on a web page. Sometimes the relationship fantasy (which works both ways) can go to far

I guess I just have to tell her and hope it doesn't all blow up

thx
ACG

 

[anonCamGuy69]

Dear everyone

Thanks for all the comments. Some were very helpful and understanding. Some a bit rude and a few missed the point and the issue at hand which i tried to make clear. A few people cleraly just like to abuse people. Just to mak it clear I don't go to sites expecting anything. The situation is reversed and I was trying to extricate myself without hurting someone. Because I care about people's feelings (real or not)

I think I just have to tell her and hope it all works out without blowing up too badly

It could be very awkward though

thanks everyone

 

[AudriTwo]

I have loads of friends. There was no need for that. I just meant she is a good friend and we committed to being friends for life. We made that promise to each other.

did you guys make friendship bracelets? i don't mean to sound like a cynical asshole but what adult does this? it seems a bit immature and bizarre.

dude i honestly think you are reading too much into it. if it's that important to you just ask her how she feels about you. stop pussy footing around, we don't know what she feels or thinks. or you could just stop seeing her. or you could just enjoy the paid entertainment/friendship.

 

[anonCamGuy69]

did you guys make friendship bracelets? i don't mean to sound like a cynical asshole but what adult does this? it seems a bit immature and bizarre.

dude i honestly think you are reading too much into it. if it's that important to you just ask her how she feels about you. stop pussy footing around, we don't know what she feels or thinks. or you could just stop seeing her. or you could just enjoy the paid entertainment/friendship.

Its a different situation. The friend I have is a Cam girl I met online many years ago. I know her husband and her family anfd her baby. We are friends. I also give her free pscyh counselling when she needs it

No need to be so cynical. I know the worlld you inhabit may make you that way and most guys (including myself sometimes) are total suckers

The situation I am asking about is a different woman where relationship fantasy has gone a bit out of hand from her side and I am worried its going to blow up much like when real relationships end. Plus I assume Cam moedls have real feelings too (as do their clients) Not everyone are hard bastards