Hare you a slut? Are you proud?

[Red Firebrand]

So I have been wondering what others think about this. To me, a slut is someone who has sex more often, or with more partners, than society thinks is acceptable. Neither good or bad, just above the norm. Of course, men have a higher limit than women, I think we can all agree on that, but they face it eventually.

Is a woman more of a slut for starting earlier in life? Specific acts that you think qualify? General opinions?

My personal answer to both is HELL YES, because I love my life and everything I have done has lead me here so I have reason to be proud.

 

[CharlotteDusk]

Slut by definition just means a sexually promiscuous woman, I myself by dictionary standards am the furthest from one as i have only had two sexual partners (the first was a boyfriend of two years and the second is my current boyfriend of 3 lol) and only have sex with those i am in love with or am falling for and believe i have a future with. By societies standards away from the dictionary i'm a giant slut because i show my vagina to people on the internet xD

 

[Luckyfoxxy]

Nothing to be proud about, it's not an accomplishment to sleep with a lot of men. Indeed you have to swat at them like annoying flies when you do not want them, as there are at all times more men who'd take you up on it should you bat an eyelash or even be nice.

 

[ExcellaExe]

I can count on one hand how many people I've fucked over the years. Would I be considered a slut for that? No. would I be considered one for occasionally fapping for men on the internets? Definitely. But, there's no shame in what I do or who I have sex with or if I'd had more sex with more people there'd be no shame. I'm demisexual, though, so my partner count is always gonna be a little low.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I have been promiscuous, though I am not now. For most of my 20s I have been in long term relationships. I don't know if having a promiscuous history brands you as a "slut" for life, personally I don't consider myself one and never really have. I see no shame in sex if you are single and find a consenting partner who you like. "Slut" is a word used to degrade women who make that choice of freedom. Something which society regularly allows men. This is something I cannot agree with and therefore don't acknowledge as a word. It does not insult me, I simply do not see it as a relevant word. It is just yet another word which is used to judge and shame women so people can control them. That control comes from both men and women, women who see sexually liberated females as a threat, and men who want us to be meek and submissive so we will never leave or cheat on them. Both types of control comes from insecurity, and I am not insecure, so I have no use for the word.

Am I proud of being labelled a "slut"? No, I don't give a fuck, and generally I have been called that name by worthless people, so no I would not say I am proud.
Am I proud of feeling sexually liberated and free to sleep with people when I feel right about it, without being weighed down by societies shame and insecurities? Yes, I guess. I am not proud of every sexual act I have done, some has resulted in harm caused to me, the other person or even a third party. I would never be proud of that. I think there are some people who I have slept with for the wrong reasons, or those who were not worth sharing my energy with. But I have no shame in my actions either.

 

[Red Firebrand]

I like how everyone has their own ideas about this. I didnt mean to say thats the only definition of a slut, just thats what it seemed like to me. Also, as far as being proud, I just meant it as 'not being ashamed' of it. Personally, I like to 'own' my promiscuity and if that means Im a slut then Im not ashamed.

 

[Smores]

So I have been wondering what others think about this. To me, a slut is someone who has sex more often, or with more partners, than society thinks is acceptable. Neither good or bad, just above the norm. Of course, men have a higher limit than women, I think we can all agree on that, but they face it eventually.

Is a woman more of a slut for starting earlier in life? Specific acts that you think qualify? General opinions?

My personal answer to both is HELL YES, because I love my life and everything I have done has lead me here so I have reason to be proud.

What you describe is high sex drive. That has nothing to do with being a "slut". "Slut" typically is defined as someone who has many different partners, usually with an implication that they do not have much prescreening of new partners. It implies an impulsive sexuality with many different new partners. I haven't seen much evidence that camgirls are sluts, and in fact probably most of them are more in touch with their sexuality and have better control on their choices than most people.

The more interesting question for me would be how many other types of sexual conditions are prevalent - for both the models and the viewers - in the webcam community. I'm talking about things like:

* Exhibitionist needs
* Voyeuristic needs
* Love addiction
* Sex addiction

I think these things are widespread in the community and to some degree are accepted as totally normal as well. In fact, maybe part of the basis for a community here is that people with these common conditions are able to tolerate and accept this? I have met my share of webcam models who are all of the above, and the combination of a romantic heart (to excess) and a very liberated sexuality have always seemed like positives to me more than negatives. But there are of course tipping points where any of these things can become destructive. Balance is always a good thing.

 

[GiggleTits]

Basically, the only concrete defintion of "slut" in modern society is this: A woman whose sexual confidence and/or endeavors makes me feel inferior somehow.

 

[Ginger.Liqueur]

Personally, I own the word slut like it's a title because it takes the power out of it as an insult. I enjoy expressing different faucets of my sexuality and find it liberating to have that freedom of choice. Do (some of) my actions,, or experiences, go against the grain of what others expect to be proper? Absolutely. Should I be ashamed because they feel inferior? Absolutely NOT. As long as both myself and my partner(s) continue to actively consent throughout our time together, limitations are respected, safe sex standards are upheld, communication is happening, etc... then have fun! Who am I to judge?

In 2011, a movement called the 'Slut Walk' was born and addressed victim blaming/slut shaming among other sensitive issues. I didn't attend the March, but when it made headlines I dug into the different perspectives that were represented. Whether to own or reject the word (slut, bitch, etc) was definitely a hot topic of debate, although the conversations have mellowed since. One quote in particular (Sophie Jones replying to Gail Dines and Wendy J Murphy)*** stuck out to me:

"Reclaiming "slut" should not be about celebrating the male-defined word as something 'positive', but celebrating the indeterminacy of the word when detached from its meaning. We want this word in our court, but only so we can keep it in the air and over the heads of everyone who would use it against us."

TLDR: Yes, I call myself a slut, a bitch, a Ginger because owning the word(s) used against me only gives me power.

***Note: only source here is a Tumblr post so not totally sure on the validity of the quote. Regardless it still stuck a chord for me***

 

[hariseldon1313]

Slut by definition just means a sexually promiscuous woman, I myself by dictionary standards am the furthest from one as i have only had two sexual partners (the first was a boyfriend of two years and the second is my current boyfriend of 3 lol) and only have sex with those i am in love with or am falling for and believe i have a future with. By societies standards away from the dictionary i'm a giant slut because i show my vagina to people on the internet xD

This is my exact answer. I haven't had sex with many guys and I don't like casual sex but I feel like I am a slut because of my fantasies and because im showing myself to strangers on cam. Don't know if im proud

 

[corpsekitten]

I guess so. I've had 3 long term relationships in my life but I've slept with 6 total people. I don't plan on adding anymore to that list though

 

[Gen]

I have no idea what society deems acceptable; I'm sure many would call me a slut but I wouldn't. I am also not personally one for reclaiming words like slut and whore. My sex life isn't a big part of my identity, even though I have a lot in common with many "proud sluts".

 

[AudriTwo]

i just counted. 32.

 

[VegaTheThelemas]

Hello!! Selena here,

I believe that a word only takes power as long as you asume its power, I've lived too many years of my life punishing my own morality because of the weight and power I gave to the word "slut", and as I lived my experiences, alone or within my relationships, I learned to evaluate myself, loving myself and embracing the freedom that I live with as long as I respect and cherish the ones I love around me. I think that society has done too much over the years to disregard the power of accepting ourselves to pay attention and energy that is not going to give us the growth we really need, so, as long as I feel inner peace through my experiences that word is irrelevant for me.

 

[BiancaBaker]

Personally, I own the word slut like it's a title because it takes the power out of it as an insult. I enjoy expressing different faucets of my sexuality and find it liberating to have that freedom of choice. Do (some of) my actions,, or experiences, go against the grain of what others expect to be proper? Absolutely. Should I be ashamed because they feel inferior? Absolutely NOT. As long as both myself and my partner(s) continue to actively consent throughout our time together, limitations are respected, safe sex standards are upheld, communication is happening, etc... then have fun! Who am I to judge?

This is how I feel exactly.


Yes I have been promiscuous in the past but I've been in 3 very long relationships- to me numbers are just numbers whether it's 3 or 100 whatever; I don't judge. As long as your being safe and communicating whatever floats your boat

 

[SaffronBurke]

Personally, I'm highly amused by society's logic regarding promiscuity, as explained in this meme:

 

[HornyDee]

No i'm not a slut Pround not be one.

 

[IntravenousFlytrap]

No, I wouldn't consider myself a slut. In fact, I consider myself mostly asexual. If it were my choice and not my job, I'd be masturbating and having sex WAY less often.

 

[omgitsg]

I've always had a high sex drive but I've never been promiscuous. I didn't loose my virginity until I was 18 and I have had less sexual partners than I have fingers. I'm not really physically attracted to many people... humans in general got me like ehhh.. Sapiosexual problems, haha.

I love seeing girls own the word. We all do it. We all enjoy it. It isn't just for making babies. IT'S FUN. As long as everyone involved agrees to it and no one gets hurt then I think the planet needs to mind their biz.

 

[MissElly]

Im in the camp of repossessing the word "slut". I'll be the first to admit to anyone that Im a raging slut, and I like it. I am 100% open about my sexuality, and embrace new experiences whenever possible. Sure, I do vet, and I can have "dry" periods by choice, but I firmly believe that there is nothing wrong with humping who I want when I want, and being open and honest about anything and everything sex related, so long as everything is done in a sane, consenting environment, between adults.

 

[LemonShade]

I used to be very promiscuous.. Now I'm married, monogamous, and very much a housewife. I believe that, for me personally, being so sexually active while I was (sort of) single made me value my relationship with my husband more than any relationship from when I was younger. I figured out how to look for what I wanted in a person through experience with people.

 

[CandyCopa]

idk if i'm innately slutty, but i def channel sluttiness when i cam or when i'm otherwise intimate with somebody. i think of 'the slut' as, like, a useful archetype... not a fixed state of being.

 

[AudriTwo]

I don't care if you are a slut or not. As long as you practice safe sex!

 

[xxlvngdedgrlxx]

I don't particularly like the word slut..

I come from a small Midwest town and was taught sex even with your SO can make you slutty. The first time I was called a slut was 14 yrs old when I had my first kiss with my boyfriend.

You are expected to treat your relationships seriously as early is a school boyfriend in elementary or you are a slut..

I was with the same man for 7 years from 15 to 23 and when I got divorced and dated around I was a slut for that...

Then worse I was a slut for being sexually assaulted...

In my town being a slut means that you are in anyway sexually free or normal. It just that someone is mad or jealous of you...

I believe someone can have consenual sex with as many partners as they want and experience their bodies without being told that it's offensive to someone else.

 

[Neorulez]

I never ever had sex with anyone so not really slut here. I cannot just sleep around. I done it but we never had full on sex. It did not full right.

 

[Zoomer]

Is there something wrong with having sex? (Rhetorical question).

Obviously it isn't the frequency, it is the number of partners in some people's eyes. By that i mean having sex every day with the same person, vs sex every day but a different person each time. One attracts no derogatory thoughts, the other does; same amount of actual sex.

I always assumed it was an inability to accept some people have sex purely for pleasure without any care for the personal "connection" (love, caring blah blah).

Sex is sex, whomever you do it with, however frequently you do it. Why get all "but you tart!" about it? As long as it's "safe" sex... there should be zero judgement.

So if you want to "own" a derogatory comment, or identify yourself with it specifically in mind and be proud - then that's your own prerogative. However, you shouldn't have to. Rather than embracing such derogatory terms we should be trying to educate people and change their perceptions in their use. It shouldn't be acceptable to label people a "slut" just because you disagree with their sex life; who are you to judge?

(yes, realise I'm late to the party on this thread, but it seemed a slow burner anyway )

 

[RadventureFrankie]

My husband calls me slut endearingly and I love it, it gets me hot as long as the intention behind it is never malicious. I also have a somewhat open relationship, so compared to typical relationship standards for women, I am being a slut when I'm indulging in not-my-husband, but that taboo feeling is kinda the point...so, yes, proud slut here - but our perceptions and definitions of what that means are all different.

Cheers.

 

[james5137]

If you mean by a slut "a person who has many casual sexual partners"
Then I'm not ! I only have one ex, and I didn't make any sexual contact with anyone else,
But If one day I become that person, I will not regret because it's my choice and I will be proud because that's who I'm

 

[Violet Dawn]

Am I a slut? Yes and no. It really depends who's looking. I really don't care how much other people are obsessed with my sex life to the point of labeling me things.

Am I proud? No. I really don't find it something to be proud of or ashamed of. Am I proud of how much sexual experience I've had based on my age? Hell no, I feel very sexually deprived for my age. There's so much I haven't done that I wish I have. But it doesn't really matter how many people I've done it with, I just wish I did it.

I'm not one of those "own it" girls, but that doesn't mean I find it shameful. It's really not even something I personally consider a real thing. But I fully accept that other women own it and love it, and I feel like they should have more power to them for doing so.

 

[eyeteach]

Can straight dudes be considered sluts? If so then maybe I'm one. I would consider myself more into the category of "man ho" as I've probably broken societal norms re: sex with my partners. What's wrong with being proud (well, maybe not proud but unashamed) with what you've done with a consenting partner or partners? If it emboldens you then I say own that title...or maybe better yet define yourself based on what you, and not society per se, defines it; whatever "it" may be.