Guys excepting their girlfriends to be like porn stars in bed

[Guy]

Recently I've been reading about the effects of mainstream pornography on relationships.
I've been reading about guys pressuring their girlfriends into doing stuff with them in bed because of what they see in porn.
Is this a common problem?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Is this a common problem?

it all depends on your girlfriend, Guy, and how stubborn of a mood she is in

 

[Shaun__]

My problem is not expectations of bedroom shenanigans, it is lack of girlfriend of any sort. I am not really sure why anyone would want their girlfriend acting like they were in a porn to be honest. I do not know how many cam videos I decided to not buy or privates to ask for because of excessive porn type moaning. Porns just seem so weird, not that I am any kind of expert on what is normal.

 

[Guy]

it all depends on your girlfriend, Guy, and how stubborn of a mood she is in

But its not okay if a guy pressures his girlfriend into doing sex acts that she doesn't want to do.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I am not really sure why anyone would want their girlfriend acting like they were in a porn to be honest.

Boredom and monotony

But its not okay if a guy pressures his girlfriend into doing sex acts that she doesn't want to do.

Depends on what you mean by pressure, I guess.

I don't think it's right to outright threaten your partner, like some women do when demanding you get along with their family, or do some chore or another. And I certainly wouldn't stoop to the level of emotional blackmail I have seen some women resort to when they "need to cuddle" and you just want to be left alone.

But really, you have to learn your partner, find out where the lines are and which ones are ok to cross. It's a process. I actually had one tell me after the fact I was too nice, and she needed a man that would be a little cruder in helping her push her boundaries.

Careful about reading too many porn studies Guy.

 

[Shaun__]

Boredom and monotony

Roleplaying, wax play, leather play, whips, restraints, erotic readings, and so many other things in the world. Those kinds of thing seem so much more entertaining than porn type sex. I know not all porn is generic porn, but that kind is what so many men seem to want, as long as the woman is a virgin of course.

 

[Guy]

My problem is not expectations of bedroom shenanigans, it is lack of girlfriend of any sort. I am not really sure why anyone would want their girlfriend acting like they were in a porn to be honest. I do not know how many cam videos I decided to not buy or privates to ask for because of excessive porn type moaning. Porns just seem so weird, not that I am any kind of expert on what is normal.

I'm not talking about moaning. I mean sexual acts shown in porn that his girlfriend finds to be uncomfortable.

 

[Shaun__]

I'm not talking about moaning. I mean sexual acts shown in porn that his girlfriend finds to be uncomfortable.

That stuff in porn is the result of multiple scenes that were filmed over the course of a day. Expecting that kind of thing in real life is like expecting Karate lessons to give me the ability to slow time and dodge bullets.

 

[Nordling]

This thread reminds me of that old cliché, "I want a wife (or gf) who's a lady on the street but a slut in the sheets." First time I heard it I thought it was an ugly statement, and as time goes on even more so. I think there should be respect for everyone, both in public and private.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

What kind of "mainstream porn" acts are we talking about here anyway? That's a little vague.

 

[Guy]

What kind of "mainstream porn" acts are we talking about here anyway? That's a little vague.

Non- amateur pornography that shows people having sex.
Wicked Pictures, Evil Angel, etc.

 

[Worship Jaclyn]

If some douchebag is going to pressure his girlfriend in bed then he will do that because of something he saw on late night tv, something he heard a friend did, something he fantasized about, something his ex did, etc. If you pressure women, it makes no difference whether you watch porn or not. I also wonder what these "studies" consider pressure. Some ultra anti-porn ladies might say they felt pressured when a guy asked for her to tie him up but then completely dropped the issues when she said no. That's not pressure but any variation from missionary sex is offensive to some people. Best not to read these studies that put their focus on prudes who will fit their agenda imo.

 

[SMuser69]

Porn didn't invent most things like anal or bondage or cuck, these ideas have biblical records. Where I do see porn influencing modern couples is in use of social media in their intimacy. Sexting, nude-selfies, this year was the first time a partner of mine brought up an idea of a sextape. These are all new things that have come around because of access to internet and modern technology. I do think social voyeurism is become more mainstream than previous and almost seem expected parts of modern relationship particularly with millennials. This is just from personal observation with people I've dated between 24-30.

P.S. Partners doing "sex angles" is 100% porns fault.

 

[DonaDiabla]

Actually, Guy, I have tried to do the porn star thing with my ex-partner in my 20s. He did not pressure me but it was an experiment that we wanted to act out. He was an tattoo artist and my second lover....we discuss how our first time together would be like. I decided to pick out this sex scene from this Japanese pinku "Tattooed flower vase" and dressed very sexy. We planned this scene for two months. He tattooed me nude and it was very erotic. However, the sex part did not go as planned due to it happening in the real world. Plus, one should wait for sex after getting tattooed..We both learned that it is not good for people to except their partners to be porn stars. So, lesson learned

 

[Nymph3tte]

That stuff in porn is the result of multiple scenes that were filmed over the course of a day. Expecting that kind of thing in real life is like expecting Karate lessons to give me the ability to slow time and dodge bullets.

This.

I made porn with my boyfriend two nights ago. He was expecting it to be the exact same as when we have "regular," off-camera sex. In reality, we had to do multiple takes for every position we did to make sure it looked good on camera.

Porn really only looks good. The amount of work that goes into its creation is beyond words. It's 100% not realistic to expect the sex you have in real life to be like the sex you see in porn. Most of the positions in porn are made to look good and to allow the viewer to be able to see everything without limbs blocking the view.

Oh yeah, also... When making porn, you have to constantly think about your facial expression. Trust me, when I have sex, I'm not constantly looking in my boyfriend's eyes while biting my lips and I sure as hell am not constantly worrying about whether the angle my boyfriend sees me from gives me a double-chin or not.

 

[Snowie1969]

Porn positions and angles are all about showing penetration and/ or action. Normal people would get cramped easily if they attempted to do those angles/ positions.

Also, I find most, if not all, situations to be very unrealistic. If porn was to be believed, it must be a dreamjob to be a pizza delivery guy or mailman...

Lastly: some of the scenes, in real life, would definately qualify as rape. Period. Blackmailing someone into consent is rape in my book.

 

[fandango]

Also, I find most, if not all, situations to be very unrealistic. If porn was to be believed, it must be a dreamjob to be a pizza delivery guy or mailman...

Are you telling me this plumbing course I just enrolled on is a waste of time?

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Lastly: some of the scenes, in real life, would definately qualify as rape. Period. Blackmailing someone into consent is rape in my book.

True.

I refuse to spank anyone in a schoolgirl uniform while they plead with me for a passing grade, even in jest. You've got to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything.

 

[eyeteach]

Also, I find most, if not all, situations to be very unrealistic. If porn was to be believed, it must be a dreamjob to be a pizza delivery guy or mailman...

Exactly. The up side of these jobs is all the great sex pizza deliverers and mailmen get; the down side, however, is cheese dick and getting paper cuts on your nuts. In short Guy, stay in school.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I made porn with my boyfriend two nights ago. He was expecting it to be the exact same as when we have "regular," off-camera sex. In reality, we had to do multiple takes for every position we did to make sure it looked good on camera.

Porn really only looks good. The amount of work that goes into its creation is beyond words. It's 100% not realistic to expect the sex you have in real life to be like the sex you see in porn. Most of the positions in porn are made to look good and to allow the viewer to be able to see everything without limbs blocking the view.

Without discounting what you are saying here, a thought...

Some of my favorite porn over the years has been amateur type stuff where little thought was given to it looking perfect.

 

[Nymph3tte]

Without discounting what you are saying here, a thought...

Some of my favorite porn over the years has been amateur type stuff where little thought was given to it looking perfect.

Yeah, but when making porn is your actual job, you can't afford to give it too little thought. That's the thing.

Being a successful online sex worker is harder than it looks. The competition's fierce as fuck and if you want to have a good chance at succeeding, your stuff needs to look as good as possible. You have to keep in mind that the people we make porn for are actual paying customers and not some dudes browsing PornHub for a quick wank.

So, as much as I do appreciate a good ol' amateur video filmed on a phone in shitty lighting from time to time, I don't think I could pay my bills by doing that.

 

[Snowie1969]

Are you telling me this plumbing course I just enrolled on is a waste of time?

I'm afraid so...

 

[Carmita Bonita]

I think the only time guys have expected me to be like a porn star in bed was expecting me to squirt or cum from their cock alone or doing that porno slap on the clit that does nothing for me.
"You didn't cum??!"
"Um..no..I have to have something rubbing my clit"
"but but...you should just cum from my cock alone"
(LMAO)

 

[Guy]

Best not to read these studies that put their focus on prudes who will fit their agenda imo.

You're right. Like this BS study http://www.upi.com/Science_News/201...-less-according-to-a-new-study/7481418498557/

 

[Gen]

You're right. Like this BS study http://www.upi.com/Science_News/201...-less-according-to-a-new-study/7481418498557/

What about it is BS to you?

In general I don't like the way media reports studies like this (usually trying to make it seem like porn is the cause, making it very general) but that's the websites fault, not the studies, and I think it's an interesting study.

 

[EspiKvlt]

I just read that article and the study sounds completely legitimate.

There's a difference between an unbiased, scientific study and how the media presents said study.

 

[cherrybomb1111]

Yea ive pretty much experienced this a lot. Guys trying to pick me up and fuck mid air then the realize 120 lbs is heavier than it looks. Men demanding anal.. Even trying the oops i slipped trick.. Guys expecting me to cum in a very short period of time from very little work. Thats when i learned to fake it to avoid the bust to the guys fragile ego. Men with really big dicks not caring how it feels for the woman..it doesnt matter that he is 9 inches long and your only 6 inches deep.. He will pound you so hard your ovaries fall out. And my favorite.. Which i have finally learned to love is the throat fucking. By no means is this enjoyable... You have to trick your mind into enjoying it.. Convince yourself that you're turned on because he is. Guys do expect a lot during sex and we as women have learned to adjust to it. Luckily i have a boyfriend now that is older and doesnt have unrealistic expectations from me, and our sex life is great.

 

[EspiKvlt]

Guys do expect a lot during sex and we as women have learned to adjust to it..

No thanks, I'm good.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

Men demanding anal.. Even trying the oops i slipped trick.

That is not always a trick. Kind of like when she moves wrong, and you hear your dick go POP! It does happen.

 

[EspiKvlt]

That is not always a trick. Kind of like when she moves wrong, and you hear your dick go POP! It does happen.

I've had sex end multiple times because of that, oh god, the flashbacks