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Game On...You Laugh, You Lose
- Thread starter Bocefish
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LadyLuna
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LadyLuna
Inactive Cam Model
- Mar 8, 2010
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Excellent and brazen courtroom banter...
Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.
Defendant: Colonel Ebenezer Jackson.
Judge: What does the 'Colonel' stand for?
Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the 'Honorable' in front of your name - not a damn thing.
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Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense?
Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?
----------------------------------------------
Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): Can I address the court?
Judge: Of course.
Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?
Judge: I'd hold you in contempt and assess an additional 5 days in jail.
Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a bitch?
Judge: I can't do anything about that. There's no law against thinking.
Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a bitch.
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Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.
Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.
----------------------------------------------
From a defendant representing himself...
Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse?
Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse.
Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.
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Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?
Defendant: No, Sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.
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Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?
Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.
Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution.
Juror: That's not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth too.
Judge: Please identify yourself for the record.
Defendant: Colonel Ebenezer Jackson.
Judge: What does the 'Colonel' stand for?
Defendant: Well, it's kinda like the 'Honorable' in front of your name - not a damn thing.
----------------------------------------------
Judge: You are charged with habitual drunkenness. Have you anything to say in your defense?
Defendant: Habitual thirstiness?
----------------------------------------------
Defendant (after being sentenced to 90 days in jail): Can I address the court?
Judge: Of course.
Defendant: If I called you a son of a bitch, what would you do?
Judge: I'd hold you in contempt and assess an additional 5 days in jail.
Defendant: What if I thought you were a son of a bitch?
Judge: I can't do anything about that. There's no law against thinking.
Defendant: In that case, I think you're a son of a bitch.
----------------------------------------------
Judge: I know you, don't I?
Defendant: Uh, yes.
Judge: All right, tell me, how do I know you?
Defendant: Judge, do I have to tell you?
Judge: Of course, you might be obstructing justice not to tell me.
Defendant: Okay. I was your bookie.
----------------------------------------------
From a defendant representing himself...
Defendant: Did you get a good look at me when I stole your purse?
Victim: Yes, I saw you clearly. You are the one who stole my purse.
Defendant: I should have shot you while I had the chance.
----------------------------------------------
Judge: The charge here is theft of frozen chickens. Are you the defendant?
Defendant: No, Sir, I'm the guy who stole the chickens.
----------------------------------------------
Lawyer: How do you feel about defense attorneys?
Juror: I think they should all be drowned at birth.
Lawyer: Well, then, you are obviously biased for the prosecution.
Juror: That's not true. I think prosecutors should be drowned at birth too.
- Nov 3, 2010
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LadyLuna
Inactive Cam Model
- Mar 8, 2010
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- Twitter Username
- @EveMatteo
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SatanJonez
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LadyLuna
Inactive Cam Model
- Mar 8, 2010
- 6,710
- 9,440
- 293
- Twitter Username
- @EveMatteo
- MFC Username
- LadyLuna
- Streamate Username
- Lady_Luna
- Clips4Sale URL
- http://clips4sale.com/store/42697/LadyLuna
I love the flying shark series 
And the always classic:
Anyway I made it through without LOLing, but then again I was trying hard
And the always classic:
Anyway I made it through without LOLing, but then again I was trying hard
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