First of all, I hope none of you ladies shame me too badly for this story and these questions.
I have lived in Medellin for 6 years. I know the game here: sex is extremely easy to find. Love, not so much.
I met her when on Tinder she was 18 with braces on her teeth and I was 62 (I look a lot younger, but I did not lie about my age). Obviously we were both looking for a transaction. Interestingly, she was clearly not a professional prostitute like most girls here on Tinder matching with older men, or she would have come right over. Rather, I spent a couple of months trying to meet her. She wanted a sugar daddy and I wanted a sugar baby.
I was a horrible whoremonging dog back then in 2021. I had such an extensive harem that I had to keep track of them all on a spreadsheet. Over 50 girls.
Anywho, over the next two years, gradually and against my better judgement, I fell in love with her. Our relationship changed from client/puta to BFFs with benefits to exclusive novios. And when I say exclusive, we spent much time together IRL and saw each other several times a week and we always knew what the other was doing. She would spend a week with me at times at my house, away from her beloved family (and family is #1 in Colombia). I paid for anything she wanted. A car, medical care, tuition. I adored her. We traveled together. She was my little princess. Madonna complex, perhaps?
Her backstory was very typical of a poor barrio girl in Colombia - father abandoned her and her mother and brother when she was 12. Daddy issues. My backstory was a typical old gringo story - horrible divorce after a >20 year marriage, never wanted to meet another gringa in the US or go back to the US again. Estranged from my only child (a daughter - nothing weird, never any physical violence, except I was a horrible alcoholic and gambler. Which I am well aware are forms of abuse).
So, fast forward another year.
She's 21 by then. Required gynecological surgery to remove ovarian cysts. I paid for the best doctor in Medellin to do the procedure. Obviously her pussy was broken and there would be no sex for a long time. I didn't care. I loved her and supported her and her family during this time. 7 months.
Then, I had a serious financial setback. I was unable to provide. She told me that she must start work camming, even though she couldn't put a Lovsense, a dildo, or even her fingers in her pussy.
I was distraught.
Then she told me, "My love, I have been doing this since I first turned 18. It was the only opportunity I had to help my family." That is true. Colombia can be a cruel country.
My mind was blown.
I got obsessed and delved into the world of camming. I never had sought it out before in my life. I found her old profile all over the sites. All 5 star reviews. She had been a superstar. And I was able to confirm her year-long hiatus from camming in 2023 when we were exclusive. She was telling me the truth.
Then I found a vid of her Gold Show where she was blowing a plastic dildo that ejaculated all over her face and beautiful breasts (that I paid for) for a group of clients.
Mind blown again. Way too much for me to handle. And it was all so fake. She was NEVER like that with me in bed. I do believe I knew the real her. Or did I?
Point of the story: I can't handle it. At first I was angry, then disappointed, and still, SO JEALOUS that other men are watching my little princess perform for money.
Let me reiterate: I am no angel and I am no judge. I have done "worse" things IRL than she has done on a cam. During the time she was recovering from her surgery, I was definitely with many women IRL - not in a studio on a cam. I have no right to judge.
I am still in love with her. But the thinks that my shock of her revelation of her double life (and again, I had a double life, too) means that we can never be together again. I am heartbroken.
Any comments or advice? Please be kind. I have never told this story to anyone except my my best male friend who still lives in the US. I don't think a shrink can help me, so please don't offer that advice.
I have lived in Medellin for 6 years. I know the game here: sex is extremely easy to find. Love, not so much.
I met her when on Tinder she was 18 with braces on her teeth and I was 62 (I look a lot younger, but I did not lie about my age). Obviously we were both looking for a transaction. Interestingly, she was clearly not a professional prostitute like most girls here on Tinder matching with older men, or she would have come right over. Rather, I spent a couple of months trying to meet her. She wanted a sugar daddy and I wanted a sugar baby.
I was a horrible whoremonging dog back then in 2021. I had such an extensive harem that I had to keep track of them all on a spreadsheet. Over 50 girls.
Anywho, over the next two years, gradually and against my better judgement, I fell in love with her. Our relationship changed from client/puta to BFFs with benefits to exclusive novios. And when I say exclusive, we spent much time together IRL and saw each other several times a week and we always knew what the other was doing. She would spend a week with me at times at my house, away from her beloved family (and family is #1 in Colombia). I paid for anything she wanted. A car, medical care, tuition. I adored her. We traveled together. She was my little princess. Madonna complex, perhaps?
Her backstory was very typical of a poor barrio girl in Colombia - father abandoned her and her mother and brother when she was 12. Daddy issues. My backstory was a typical old gringo story - horrible divorce after a >20 year marriage, never wanted to meet another gringa in the US or go back to the US again. Estranged from my only child (a daughter - nothing weird, never any physical violence, except I was a horrible alcoholic and gambler. Which I am well aware are forms of abuse).
So, fast forward another year.
She's 21 by then. Required gynecological surgery to remove ovarian cysts. I paid for the best doctor in Medellin to do the procedure. Obviously her pussy was broken and there would be no sex for a long time. I didn't care. I loved her and supported her and her family during this time. 7 months.
Then, I had a serious financial setback. I was unable to provide. She told me that she must start work camming, even though she couldn't put a Lovsense, a dildo, or even her fingers in her pussy.
I was distraught.
Then she told me, "My love, I have been doing this since I first turned 18. It was the only opportunity I had to help my family." That is true. Colombia can be a cruel country.
My mind was blown.
I got obsessed and delved into the world of camming. I never had sought it out before in my life. I found her old profile all over the sites. All 5 star reviews. She had been a superstar. And I was able to confirm her year-long hiatus from camming in 2023 when we were exclusive. She was telling me the truth.
Then I found a vid of her Gold Show where she was blowing a plastic dildo that ejaculated all over her face and beautiful breasts (that I paid for) for a group of clients.
Mind blown again. Way too much for me to handle. And it was all so fake. She was NEVER like that with me in bed. I do believe I knew the real her. Or did I?
Point of the story: I can't handle it. At first I was angry, then disappointed, and still, SO JEALOUS that other men are watching my little princess perform for money.
Let me reiterate: I am no angel and I am no judge. I have done "worse" things IRL than she has done on a cam. During the time she was recovering from her surgery, I was definitely with many women IRL - not in a studio on a cam. I have no right to judge.
I am still in love with her. But the thinks that my shock of her revelation of her double life (and again, I had a double life, too) means that we can never be together again. I am heartbroken.
Any comments or advice? Please be kind. I have never told this story to anyone except my my best male friend who still lives in the US. I don't think a shrink can help me, so please don't offer that advice.
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every 30 mins, you can get so sick from eating those foods
