Donor fatigue?

[justjoinedtopost]

Didn't want to derail the other thread.

I am sick to death of retailers asking me if I would like to donate to various causes every time I use my card.

I think a simple no thank you. is suitable.

Perhaps. I was attempting to express donor fatigue. Allow me to elaborate...

I was raised to believe that if I ran across someone who needed my help, I had a moral obligation to do so. It was drilled into me. If approached by an alcoholic, a junkie, or a homeless panhandler, I would give them whatever I could spare. I viewed it as a duty. What the money I gave was spent on did not matter to me. For all I knew, I was entertaining angels. This foolishness stopped based on two experiences that took place about a week apart.

The first, I was approached by a homeless guy. He asked if I could spare anything. I reached into the center console of my car, and gave him every penny, probably around 5 bucks. He stood there holding the money I had given him, then he looked at me and said “Come on, man. Ain't you got no paper dollar?”

The second, I was approached at 2 a.m. outside a pool hall by a glassy eyed couple who had a kid of about 4 and a toddler with them. They were bombed, but not so much so that they couldn't implore me for money so they could feed their disheveled children. This incident made me angry; I didn't give them a dime, and I haven't given money to people on the street since.

But that isn't quite the same as businesses collecting for charity. Here are my observations on that...

I saw a reputable childrens charity collecting money through a collection box at a chain store. Management regularly looted it. Only the pennies and the nickels got forwarded to the charity.

Also, back in the mid 90's I saw something I had never noticed in my town. A donation jar at the cash register in a convenience store. Collecting for someone in dire need.

Within a couple of months, they were in every convenience store. People with kidney failure, uninsured children with cancer, you name it. But most outrageous was the one I saw at a small bank I did business at. Someone had a horse – a horse – with a rare condition. They were asking for donations so this horse – horse – could be sent to Emory University. They had the audacity to list how much they had already collected (over 10 thousand dollars). It struck me as absurd and obscene.

So this is why any corporation that gives me the opportunity to express my compassion when I swipe my card is only going to get a simple no thank you (unless they give me the chance to say I am sick to death of being asked).

 

[LuckySmiles]

there's a South Park episode about this you may enjoy...

 

[JerryBoBerry]

I was raised to believe that if I ran across someone who needed my help, I had a moral obligation to do so. It was drilled into me. If approached by an alcoholic, a junkie, or a homeless panhandler, I would give them whatever I could spare. I viewed it as a duty.

I am likely to help out people in need too, but with a few differences. I have never considered it a 'duty.' And I look critically at who it is I help. If they are in trouble of their own making and need help, but will just be in the same exact trouble next month and the month after because they are doing nothing to get out of that trouble; no way I'm helping them. I'm not some over-bloated government social program they can sponge off the rest of their lives. But if someone falls on hard times and comes to me needing help and a plan on how that will help them get out of that trouble so they can support themselves again; then yes I'll help.

As for junkies, alcoholics, and so on. Hell to the fuckin' no, never, not gonna happen. I won't knowingly support someone's habits in any way shape or form. If however they get clean and sober and need help getting back on their feet after that, sure.

I saw a reputable childrens charity collecting money through a collection box at a chain store. Management regularly looted it. Only the pennies and the nickels got forwarded to the charity.

Also, back in the mid 90's I saw something I had never noticed in my town. A donation jar at the cash register in a convenience store. Collecting for someone in dire need.
<<snip snip>>
So this is why any corporation that gives me the opportunity to express my compassion when I swipe my card is only going to get a simple no thank you (unless they give me the chance to say I am sick to death of being asked).

Stores that ask if I wish to donate to their politically correct charity du jour at the checkout lane. I laugh at them and loudly tell them no, and I think it's incredibly stupid to even have that program. Most of those big charities that are so popular give very little to what they say they are about. I give to a charity, but it's one of my own choosing (mentioned a couple times here on the forum already). So I refuse to be shamed into donating to a poorly chosen, and run by idiot scamming thieves, charity just because their corporate office wants to look good to the public.

Other fundraising jars on counters like that fall into the same category. Unless i am able to research where the money actually goes and I know it's not a scam I won't even consider them.

I think far too many people are lazy about looking into a charity of their own choosing, and just blindly throw money at whatever to make themselves feel good. It's about the only reason I can come up with for the existence of the absolute scam that is PETA.

 

[Gen]

I don't know if you meant laugh at them literally Jerry, or JustJoined if you really meant you would tell them you were sick of it - but do bear in mind that most cashiers hate asking and only do so because their employer makes them. I used to get snapped at for stuff like that all the time (or "why is this so expensive?!?!") as if I had any control over that, lol. I know you guys are nice folks but the amount of people who aren't is glaring so I just wanted to say, write to corporate if you want but be nice to the minimum wage folks just looking to get through their shift, haha.

But yeah I usually say no to those because I prefer directly giving to charities. I don't have a lot of money so I like to allot it to the places that matter to me, and where I know that it's being used well. If it's the local hospitals (they have some arrangement with the drugstores here), I'll say yes to donating a toonie and getting a paper butterfly or whatever on the wall.

Typically I don't give money/food to people on the street because I rarely have change and the couple of times I've bought food for people, I got yelled at. There is a girl who's outside the Tim Horton's by my office building, and I'll often buy her coffee & a bagel but beyond that it doesn't happen much. Also there are a lot of people asking in my city so I definitely wouldn't be able to help many people.

Since I'm a student, I volunteer more than give money though.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

I don't know if you meant laugh at them literally Jerry, or JustJoined if you really meant you would tell them you were sick of it - but do bear in mind that most cashiers hate asking and only do so because their employer makes them.

No not literally laughing "at" them specifically. More like laughing in disgust about the situation. I understand they just have to ask the question.

 

[justjoinedtopost]

I don't know if you meant laugh at them literally Jerry, or JustJoined if you really meant you would tell them you were sick of it - but do bear in mind that most cashiers hate asking and only do so because their employer makes them.

I was actually referring to the little request screens now on the pin pads whenever I use my debit/credit card.

Actually being asked by a cashier I don't run across often, and when I do it's usually for something bad (the tsunami a few years back springs to mind). An exception to this is my local Petsmart; cashiers there always push the donate to homeless pets thing.

 

[Gen]

I knew you were good eggs!!!! Worst job I ever had was recruiting volunteers over the phone for a charity (that spent way too much paying their staff....). I am an angel to telemarketers now, hahahah.

 

[Miss_D]

I used to give $$... all the damn time. Now the only thing I do (& rarely anymore) is go buy food for them. Usually an apple, banana, some form of protein, a veggie and an electrolyte drink. If they choose not to eat it, fine. I waste money on food often so its not breaking my bank to buy them $7 worth of healthy food. But i WILL NOT give $$ - cuz fuck you if you go spend it on drugs or alcohol. Im not enabling that shit. And the only time I give to charities anymore is if I can give it directly to the person who is benefitting. I used to be such a generous person until I saw how evil people can be when you do something nice for them....

 

[camstory]

It's about 15 minutes, but well worth the time, raises some interesting points both for and against.