Dealing with dirty talk and boundaries

[xXDollFaceXx]

Hello! I'm a new model and just did my first show last night (woohoo me) it was a bit of a weird night as I was testing the water with what I was comfortable with and I have a couple questions! I am brand new to the MFC software and was confused on how to add friends, block people, and pms etc.

I had quite a few people either being demanding that I do things (people who weren't tipping) and people dirty talking me in chat. While I'm there to have a good time and be sexy, I don't like openly being called dirty names or being talked to like a sex doll ("use the Hitachi! take those panties off!"). I go to quite a few popular rooms where I never see any one say rude things so I am wondering how I can reign this in. I see some girls say "save the dirty talk for private tips" does that mean they are ok being called a 'little slut' as long as it's in a private tip or still do some girls not like that kind of talk at all and what they mean by "dirty talk" is tip to say if you think she's sexy or hot.

1)I want to stop people from being super dirty in my chat, i like being sexy and funny but not dirty talking.
2)how to deal with people demanding things when they tip (for example someone gives me a decent tip but is persistently trying to get me something i simply will not do)
3)How to politely say what my boundaries are and that they need to abide by them without driving people away
4)letting people know they need to tip me for things without being bitchy, I don't want to keep saying "tip me!" but but sooooo many people were demanding i do things while not tipping, or trying to fake me into thinking they were tipping. I was playing a lot of it off, smiling and being a tease but it got frustrating a bit. any advice welcome

 

[EspiKvlt]

I don't care if people talk dirty as long as they're tipping me, so I literally just say "tip me or you'll get blocked if you don't stop."

I NEVER allow people to be demanding me, tipping me or not, so I tell them "if you don't stop doing that, you're getting blocked.'

To block people, you just click on their name and it's in the drop-down menu.

 

[xXDollFaceXx]

Yeah, i guess I just need to make sure I stay straight forward and not let anyone push me around, I just don't want to be mean. then again, I don't want anyone walking all over me. Thanks for the help too, it's kinda nerve racking to have to learn how to use mfc while in the process of camming

 

[Serenity_Tam]

Here is something I think a lot of people and I wished they knew when they started: If someone is wasting your time at your job, a place you are at to make money so you can pay your bills and live life, you don't owe them anything. It is not mean to tell someone to respect you, or to tell them to stop pushing you or stop disrespecting you. It is mean and rude of them. You are not at fault. You owe random people on the internet NOTHING. If you tell someone no and they try to coerce you or push you through money or otherwise it is still okay to ban them. If a member is crossing the line or disrespecting you, even if they are tipping, it is okay to ban them. Seriously. If someone is being pushy, uncomfortably demandy or is trying to trick you- ban them. They are doing nothing positive for you or your room culture.

You don't even have to be overly polite when telling someone what your boundaries are. You should only have to say it once and "I don't do dirty talk" should be enough because being upfront isn't rude.

Your mental well being is worth more than anything and you need it in tact to do this job.

This is your job, it's not rude to expect to be paid for your labour. If someone asks for a thing the common response is the amount that they must tip for said thing. For example: bugdick: flash Bb! Cammodel: I would love to- flashes are 42 tokens! If the same person kept demanding stuff without tipping I just ban. It hurts the room culture and odds are they won't tip.

When I did vanilla things I would just ban dudes who dirty talked when it wasn't in a hidden tip note. I would say something along the lines of: I love doing shows and seeing what you have to say. But remember we have god damned manners here and this is a room full of other dudes who don't want to hear about how hard your peen is- but I do, so tell me in that hidden tip note bb! I would then set topic to display this rule. I would allow people to dirty talk at me but never dirty talked back for the most part. You have to decide what your boundaries are. If you don't want to be called a cock hungry cookie muncher tell them. Also. I wouldn't consider "hey sexy" dirty talk. Thats like a greeting. Even hey slut is a greeting. Not necessarily a good one but a greetingTo me dirty talk is "my sausage meat is so ripe bb. I am going to rub this salami all over your softy flesh suit you clean jezebel hussy"

Tl;dr: just ban bb.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

Lots of dickhead members seek new models out and take advantage of them in this way as they feel they can get away with it. I had so much more of this when I was a new model than now.
Make sure guests and basics are blocked first off as in my experience they gave me a lot of this. From there if a member talks dirty in the room as soon as they do it just say "No dirty talk in public please. If you have something to say please put it in a private tip note". They almost certainly won't tip as those guys usually don't. If they do it again then quietly ban them, which also deletes their messages in the public room. If you have a really strong aversion to dirty talk even in private shows or a tip note then just say that it doesn't turn you on.

I've noticed way less members on MFC doing the whole dirty chat in public thing and I wonder if it's because the ban options are pretty good now and most models will ban without hesitation. Guys like that will damage you more than do you good, especially if they're being demanding. It's definitely not worth keeping them around. Plus those guys gross out other guys. Pretty much all of my tippers over the years have expressed distaste at seeing guys like that, if you tolerate them then decent guys will eventually get fed up and leave. A good room is one where people not only want to chat with the models but feel happy and comfortable chatting in the room around the other members.

 

[xXDollFaceXx]

Thank you guys so much for the advice! the learning curve has been tough. Maybe I'm just blind (well honestly I really should go get glasses, I can't see shit anymore ) My first night I used the downloadable software. I instantly got a million pms, and people in my room calling me a little slut. Some members were trying to help me by telling me to mute guests and basics, but I couldn't figure out how and it was overwhelming to have tons of guys talking in chat, tons of pms all while trying to figure out how to ban/mute/turn off pms etc etc because I've always heard it's not good to ignore the room. I let them know I was trying to figure it out and kept talking, but still even one guy private tipped me with a note as if he was mad that I was texting friends, when I was just trying to figure out the software, i wasn't even holding my phone. The second night I switched to the web based broadcaster because I wanted to use the whiteboard (I hadn't been able to figure out where it was) I then put my rules there, and told people to look at the whiteboard in my topic. It was a lot calmer then but also slower in terms of tippers

If a member is crossing the line or disrespecting you, even if they are tipping, it is okay to ban them.

Yes! I really needed reassurance with this, typically I'm good at standing up for myself, but it's a bit confusing to have someone be sweet and tip you a ton but be a sneaky snake about trying to get you to do things, I do indeed need to protect my sanity with this.

Also. I wouldn't consider "hey sexy" dirty talk.

I don't really consider it dirty talk either nor do I take offense to it, I was just wondering if it was gross to other girls as I rarely see it being said in some of the rooms I watch, was wondering if it just happened to be that way because their regulars like to be polite or they were swift with muting.

Guys like that will damage you more than do you good

I also noticed this. I'm not so much one of those "I'm so sexy, just look at my body and dirty talk me bb" girls as much as a I am weird as hell and I aim to keep my chat friendly and draw in people because I'm being genuine. I've already had regulars who come in and I ask how they are and remember what they said about themselves, and when you're having a good time talking to people in chat and someone randomly says something like "I want to feed you my cock" or "Please, I want to mate with you, I don't trust you, you are weird, please mate with me" even other members told them they were ruining the mood and asked that I remove them. I tell them to save dirty talk for private tips, but I guess I just don't know how to respond other than thank them for the tip and smile (especially if they ASK dirty questions) hello if i said dirty talk in private why would I answer a dirty question in public?

 

[IsabellaSnow]

I also noticed this. I'm not so much one of those "I'm so sexy, just look at my body and dirty talk me bb" girls as much as a I am weird as hell and I aim to keep my chat friendly and draw in people because I'm being genuine. I've already had regulars who come in and I ask how they are and remember what they said about themselves, and when you're having a good time talking to people in chat and someone randomly says something like "I want to feed you my cock" or "Please, I want to mate with you, I don't trust you, you are weird, please mate with me" even other members told them they were ruining the mood and asked that I remove them. I tell them to save dirty talk for private tips, but I guess I just don't know how to respond other than thank them for the tip and smile (especially if they ASK dirty questions) hello if i said dirty talk in private why would I answer a dirty question in public?

I don't have many members who dirty talk in tip notes, but some do. I smile, thank them for the tip and read it. That's it. If it's the public room then I don't give out much one on one attention. They know I've read it, they know I'm in the public room. They can take me private later on. Honestly I think them knowing you've read it is enough, or seeing your reaction. I guess like the guys who tip for you to watch their cam. So long as they know you're watching if you're clear you're in the public room and any extra contact will need to be in private then that's about all they'll get. And I think it's enough.
I guess if they ask a question it depends on how much they're tipping or if you feel comfortable answering. You can just smile coyly. I don't know if they even expect much of an answer, especially if they aren't on your friendslist.

 

[Cal_blue]

I don't even type bb, let alone any cuss/dirty talk

Not my thing.
Maybe the ones doing most of the cussing or stupid dirty talk were the small names who arent even signed up,paid members yet.Not premiums

 

[EspiKvlt]

I don't even type bb, let alone any cuss/dirty talk

Are - are you being sarcastic?

Hard to tell at this point.

 

[xXDollFaceXx]

I don't have many members who dirty talk in tip notes

You're lucky, all I seem to get are people who write dirty things in tip notes, either telling me they're stroking themselves, calling me a 'good girl', or asking what my fave position is... I'm hoping it's because I'm new and soon enough people will stop trying to take advantage of that

Maybe the ones doing most of the cussing or stupid dirty talk were the small names who arent even signed up

nope...it's all premiums. I make it so guests and basics can't talk because all I get is bombarded with rude comments.. learned that real quick. and like i said, a lot of them are saying dirty things in tip notes, which you need to be a premium to give. Hoping i get some classy premiums soon.. or at least decent human beings lol

 

[DFT]

Lots of dickhead members seek new models out and take advantage of them in this way as they feel they can get away with it. I had so much more of this when I was a new model than now.

Rest is gold as well

Wish there was a boot camp where on your first day only models were allowed into your room so they could run these new model sceneries then stop you and ask "What the shit? That's how you get ants". Yes, I imagine Pam from Archer running that boot camp.

Soldiers get training, lawyers get mock court, even Long John Silvers fryers have to watch training tapes and then wear Kevlar sleeves. Cam models get baby geese treatment - out on your own, fly now. No, geese at least get to wear feathers.

You have to set the tone for your room. It's a tough challenge, take on all the advice you can get here when you get verified.

That's why this site is important.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

You're lucky, all I seem to get are people who write dirty things in tip notes, either telling me they're stroking themselves, calling me a 'good girl', or asking what my fave position is... I'm hoping it's because I'm new and soon enough people will stop trying to take advantage of that

I hope so, I got a lot of this stuff when I was new. It was infuriating and I hated it. Now I don't ever get it, I don't know if it's because I'm a seasoned camgirl or a little older, or if it's because I usually have a good crowd chatting about non sexual stuff. But it's been a while since I've had the "too much information" from random guys. I think not doing cumshows helps with that too.

 

[AudriTwo]

I personally like my lists. Write out what you are willing and not will to do. Some models have the things they won't do, but will if the price is right. If you only want to do anal for X amount more, lay it out.

If you want people to stop talking dirty to you in free chat. Tell them you will more then incline to talk dirty in private, if they want to dirty PM, you can always choose to charge more or none. If they don't listen, kick/ban.If you don't want dirty tip notes, put it in your profile. I know not a lot of people seems to read it, but there are respectful people who do.

Your favorite word will become "No." Don't ever be afraid to say it. No matter how much they tip. When they ask you "Why not?" you simply tell them because you don't want to.

Politely decline requests but always stand your ground. Don't let anyone push you around. Don't be afraid to stick up for yourself, even if it chases guys away.

When someone makes request, I tell them I can definitely do that! For a tip! If its something I rather do in a private show, I will tell them to.

 

[xXDollFaceXx]

I think not doing cumshows helps with that too.

It still amazes me that some girls can get on and never seem to do cumshows. There's one girl I watch who used to do a TON of dirty stuff on chaturbate and then came to MFC and I guess because she's popular and people pay her anyway she stopped? She gets naked and plays games and chats, and I've seen her topic say "show" a couple of times but never saw who do the show..I wonder if she got tired of actually doing shows and stopped because she figured she's getting paid anyway?

Tell them you will more then incline to talk dirty in private, if they want to dirty PM

I'm still confused about PM's. If I leave them open even to premiums I get a lot of guys who waste my time or just want to chat which takes my attention away from the room, however if I turn it off and only want to take pm's from people who are serious, do I just temporarily add them as friends? I'm trying to work on weeding out the trolls and people who will never ever pay.

 

[AudriTwo]

I'm still confused about PM's. If I leave them open even to premiums I get a lot of guys who waste my time or just want to chat which takes my attention away from the room, however if I turn it off and only want to take pm's from people who are serious, do I just temporarily add them as friends? I'm trying to work on weeding out the trolls and people who will never ever pay.

I have a lot of saved text chats. I'm not sure if you can send saved texts on MFC. You can open up your sticky note/notepad app on your computer and write out a bunch of FAQ to copy and paste.

Tip menu / Show types you perform / new videos for sale / follow you on social media / ect

You tell them "Hello, if you want to privately message with me please tip me X amount of tokens so I know you are serious." Proceed to ignore until you get your tip. Copy and paste the same message if they beg and promise to tip you later. If they can't take a hint, ban them. Not worth another copy and paste.

 

[IsabellaSnow]

It still amazes me that some girls can get on and never seem to do cumshows. There's one girl I watch who used to do a TON of dirty stuff on chaturbate and then came to MFC and I guess because she's popular and people pay her anyway she stopped? She gets naked and plays games and chats, and I've seen her topic say "show" a couple of times but never saw who do the show..I wonder if she got tired of actually doing shows and stopped because she figured she's getting paid anyway?



I'm still confused about PM's. If I leave them open even to premiums I get a lot of guys who waste my time or just want to chat which takes my attention away from the room, however if I turn it off and only want to take pm's from people who are serious, do I just temporarily add them as friends? I'm trying to work on weeding out the trolls and people who will never ever pay.

I'm going to answer both your questions in order:
Lots of girls seem to be moving away from cumshows as they get fed up with being capped all the time, I think they can also be pretty draining of energy. My decision to not do them anymore is because I don't enjoy them, none of my main tippers were bothered by them and by doing cumshows I was constantly rejecting private shows (which I actually make more from). My swap was no longer doing short private shows and now doing longer ones with select people. I think I'm also a bit older now and I appreciate the one on one time and don't get off from the big shows or all the freeloaders anymore. I've noticed a few other camgirls saying the same kind of thing.

With PM's, you can set them to friendslist only. When you set this it'll at first probably make camming feel so much nicer! You then charge for friendslist. I have it at 200 right now and once someone has spent over that I add them, but I also have it in my topic. It really weeds out how many people can talk to you at one time. I try not to talk in pm too much even to friends while I'm streaming unless I'm organising a show. I like it when they say stuff and I'll put an emote but as a rule they know I can't sit there typing for ages.