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Dating Only One Type

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I think it depends whether or not the person is casually dating or looking for a serious relationship. If you just want to fuck, guess it doesn't matter. But if you are looking for a serious relationship, not dating people outside of your "type" is shallow and you might miss out on the perfect person (on the inside).
But then again, attraction is important, but to what extent?
 
Yes, I think that's pretty close Megan. I would add that there are some other things it can be beyond shallow, in fact would have to be beyond just shallow.

But as to the question, "is it wrong?" I have to go with no. That's not to say that I wouldn't feel someone's thought process to choose to do so, might be questionable. But wrong, no.
 
I think in the long run, it's better to date someone of a different "type." To use symbology, say she is Fire and he is Earth., then she gains his bounds by learning from his solidness, and he gains from her fire, he learns to expand his horizons and gains experience and knowledge about things he'd never otherwise experience. It's not easy but well worth it, IMHO.

There are limits of course--if the couple cannot find common ground or "mesh" their differences, then it will fail.
 
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PlayboyMegan said:
Is it okay to ONLY date a certain "type?"
Ex: Guys who ONLY date very young women.
Girls that ONLY date ripped guys
People that will ONLY date within their race
etc.

It's certainly okay. It's not necessarily a good idea, but this is totally a question of personal preference, and you want what you want. It isn't something where you can apply an external standard of fairness like, e.g., hiring someone for a job. Sure, you may come to realize later that you could've been missing out on some great people because of your restrictions, but that's your mistake to make. Physical attraction makes a difference, but if you get to know someone outside your usual range, you might find they have other attractive traits that make up for that. Things probably won't work out if you don't have some minimum level of attraction, but only you can decide where that line is, and if you broaden your scope, you may find that there's attraction with people you wouldn't have expected it with.
 
PlayboyMegan said:
I think it depends whether or not the person is casually dating or looking for a serious relationship. If you just want to fuck, guess it doesn't matter. But if you are looking for a serious relationship, not dating people outside of your "type" is shallow and you might miss out on the perfect person (on the inside).
But then again, attraction is important, but to what extent?

I think its okay to date a certain type, but when you do that, you are limiting yourself to the wonderful possibilities that's out there and def can miss out on the perfect soul mate. This applies whether you just want to fuck or get into a serious relationship. Sometimes when you are not looking for a serious relationship, it is when you find the perfect mate.
 
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I'm personally open to dating different types of guys, but I'm always drawn back to a certain type of guy in the end. I'm really attracted to intelligent, funny guys who just happen to have dark hair, eyes and some form of trimmed up facial hair. I've never really thought that this made me shallow though. :?
 
i like women...i'm more attracted to some physical characteristics than others, and i have my personal laundry list that can stir my hormones and warm my blood.....i suppose they are the key that gets my engine running....

but it's always been they way a woman approaches life that has shifted me into gear.....

one thing i never really paid to much attention until i came to camland is that the sound of a woman's voice is a physical characteristic.....so i guess you can teach an old dog new tricks afterall :lol:
 
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i've never understood having just one type really. With all the varied and wonderful beauty available why limit oneself? down here in the south you get a lot of folk that will only date white folk or black folk or whatever. Just the limitation of physical types seems to limit ones potential dating pool as far as sexual variety. For love, well how could i ever run the risk that i miss out on someone perfect for me just because they were too young, or too blonde or skinny?

ive gone out with at least one time every major racial grouping, most body types (including a dwarf lady once) and find that no one type of anything is any better than another. its all about the individual. i have my limitations though. i tend not to be attracted to ladies that are bigger around than me, or who have more facial hair. and a lady thats so skinny you can count her ribs is a turn off. beyond that i just like women. oh, and of course no person ive gone out with more than once was too dumb to carry on a conversation of some kind.
 
AllisonWilder said:
I'm personally open to dating different types of guys, but I'm always drawn back to a certain type of guy in the end. I'm really attracted to intelligent, funny guys who just happen to have dark hair, eyes and some form of trimmed up facial hair. I've never really thought that this made me shallow though. :?

It certainly does NOT make a person shallow. It would be unwise when looking for love to never branch out.....but I think what would make a person shallow is writing off someone who seems to be a good match simply because they didn't fit the criteria for their "type" :twocents-02cents:
 
I don't think these people exist. If you are attracted to someone, you are attracted to them. If the things you find attractive usually lead to a certain type, so be it.
Physical attraction is the base of any relationship, like or or not. If that spark, fire, flame whatever isn't there, nothing else will make that relationship work in the end.

For some reason I just can't imagine anyone worth two breaths of oxygen could be honestly attracted to somebody but shun them because they don't fit a checklist.
People are attracted to who they are attracted to.
 
JoleneJolene said:
I don't think these people exist. If you are attracted to someone, you are attracted to them. If the things you find attractive usually lead to a certain type, so be it.
Physical attraction is the base of any relationship, like or or not. If that spark, fire, flame whatever isn't there, nothing else will make that relationship work in the end.

For some reason I just can't imagine anyone worth two breaths of oxygen could be honestly attracted to somebody but shun them because they don't fit a checklist.
People are attracted to who they are attracted to.

Very well worded.

I actually know a girl who has written off multiple great men simply because they don't fit everything in her "checklist". And she complains about being alone and even had the balls to ask "why am I still alone" :shock:
 
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JoleneJolene said:
I don't think these people exist...
I agree in that I don't think this is a permanent characteristic of a person, but I certainly think some people go through a phase where this is true.

As an example, a few friends from college and shortly thereafter had "types" for a while, but they eventually got over them. While this limitation doesn't affect everyone, for those it does, I think it is just part of their development. They "only date" a certain type until they discover they have attractions to people of other types. Then they forget they every had a "type", or they look back on their affectation as a humorous anecdote of their over-opinionated youth.

Of course, sometimes telling someone "You're nice, but you're just not my type" is just a way to let someone down easy (or avoid being set up with friend's cousin, boss's daughter, etc.)
 
Haha! I stand corrected! Strange...
But is it possible that the certain thing on the "checklist" was just something that she honestly didn't like that she knows will bug her?
Like breaking up with a dude for leaving his socks on the floor is kind of lame, unless it's irritating you to the point of no longer being attracted to him because he doesn't have the courtesy to pick up his crusty socks even though you asked him nicely several times. It's not really about the socks, it's about lack of responsibility.
 
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AllisonWilder said:
I'm personally open to dating different types of guys, but I'm always drawn back to a certain type of guy in the end. I'm really attracted to intelligent, funny guys who just happen to have dark hair, eyes and some form of trimmed up facial hair. I've never really thought that this made me shallow though. :?
I don't think anyone here thinks you are shallow ether, and if they did I would offer to drown them in your depths. (I swim like a fish, a slow fat old fish, but like a fish) I think your first line excludes you from fitting Into the example. If you did date a different type and found everything perfect except he had light hair and green eyes, so you had to dump him, I would wonder the reason, but shallow would not be a possibility.
 
JoleneJolene said:
Haha! I stand corrected! Strange...
But is it possible that the certain thing on the "checklist" was just something that she honestly didn't like that she knows will bug her?
Like breaking up with a dude for leaving his socks on the floor is kind of lame, unless it's irritating you to the point of no longer being attracted to him because he doesn't have the courtesy to pick up his crusty socks even though you asked him nicely several times. It's not really about the socks, it's about lack of responsibility.

Unfortunately there are some women I know that are that shallow. With them income status is up there--consider a guy only if he makes at least 4 to 5 more than you. One time I said to a friend, "Well hopefully you find someone like me." I was only talking about personality. She came back, "No he has to be someone who makes a lot than what you or I make." She was def thinking of a doctor/lawyer type. She is still not married today. That conversation took place about 10 or so years ago.
 
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It depends if your type is to do with things inside or on the outside.

All Allison's type's were things on the inside, which I think it's ok to go for.

Like Jolene said, attraction is attraction, it just happens. When I was growing up I had god awful taste, or at least everyone else thought I did. I dated some very attractive guys, but wasn't interested in them, some I was, but who I was attracted to was random, not to do with looks and I went with it.

My last boyfriend was not good looking, not in the typical sense, in fact when I first saw him I thought he was the ugliest person I had ever met, but I fell for him, and people hated that I was dating him. People who were his friends tried turning him against me, saying I'd leave him or was using him (for what I'm not sure), people around us would be like "why are you with him?" or "how on earth did he get you?" It really got to him, he never put himself 100% in the relationship because he believed I would leave him. Men he knew would obviously come onto me in front of him, girls though did seem to show more interest in him (girls had never really shown him much interest except friendship before), he eventually cheated on me and I eventually left him (I didn't find out he'd cheated until after we broke up, I'd had a feeling, but it wasn't why I left). In fact every time I go back to my home town it gets brought up on "oh my god, how on earth did that happen? what were you thinking? You have such terrible taste." Maybe, but he made me laugh, we could talk about anything, had so much fun together, plus he knew me better than anyone else ever has, to me that was enough.
Since then I've spent the last 3 and a half years alone, well, not totally alone, I've dated people, but I've had this idea of who I should go out with, who it'd be safe to go out with. Because I felt I couldn't go through all that again. I couldn't date someone who never really believes I'm real, and I couldn't date anyone where there's a risk that other people are going to constantly tell him he doesn't deserve me.
I've actually started dating someone recently, it's the same kind of story, he likes me, but is also determined that I'm mad for liking him, and will probably get bored and find someone else. I mean I wouldn't mind him getting some better clothes, but I think he's gorgeous and am really attracted to him as a person. I'm just hoping it's not going to be the same. I don't really care about looks much, my whole family are beautiful, in that typical way, so are almost all the people I grew up with. It holds no real value to me, it's nice to look at, but it doesn't make anyone special, it doesn't even make sex better. Looks are important, it's just, you can find beauty in some of the strangest places.

Interesting thing with types, when I dyed my hair dark from blonde, there were a bunch of guys I had been around before who hadn't been very interested who suddenly chased me. A friend even said to me "you're a lot less hyper as a brunette" No.... I'm exactly the same.... it's just you making assumptions before on looks.
When I was 15 I dyed my hair dark a few days before going to this guy's house party, it was clear we'd liked eachother and he'd invited me and said I could bring a friend, turns out he was obsessed with blondes. Different colour hair= I'll go sleep with your friend instead, she's blonde. He even told me a few months later he really regretted it and he'd really liked me before. We were young, but that is how important something as simple as hair colour is to some people.
 
I only date one type. The type I'm attracted to. :whistle:

Okay, while that's technically true, let me get a bit more serious. When I think of a "type" I think of general characteristics that you most often find attractive. Not characteristics a person MUST have to date them. For me, I find that I am quite a big fan of women. (Sorry guys but they're just more my type. ;) ) Being women is the one thing all those I'm attracted to have in common which is why I have a difficult time defining my type. For me it's more like there are a few types I'm generally NOT attracted to but even then there are often exceptions.
 
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By nature I'm a chubby chaser for lack of a better term. But I ended up marrying a guy who physically can't gain any weight past what he already weighs (crazy metabolism + stomach issues). Still really attracted to him, but if I were single again, chances are I would gravitate towards heavier dudes. :lol: It's just my 'default' attraction, but that doesn't mean I would give other types of people a try. :shifty:
 
I love a tall guy with muscular arms, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna say no if a 5'2" skinny guy asks me out. :)

It's perfectly normal to have this idea in your head about how your ideal man looks/acts/thinks, but it would be silly to turn a guy down just because he's 1 inch shorter than what you "require," his hair is not quite as brunette as you'd like for it to be, and he doesn't recycyle. LOL! Might as well go back into your lonely house and draw/color a picture of "the perfect man" and put IT under your pillow every night...lol.

No one really knows what the future holds. You may end up meeting your future awesome significant other today at the grocery store. But people who are so ridiculously picky and critical ("Ew, a mole on his face!"..."Ugh! Socks with sandals???"..."Ugh, she has tattoos, and I HATE women with tattoos!") will just find themselves disappointed with just about everyone.
 
I don't think I have a "type", maybe I have "types", I don't know but the girls I've been with... you would struggle to find many commonalities between them. I've been asked this a lot (usually by girls I just started dating who noticed that my last gf was asian/white/curvy/indian/thin and they're not) and I usually just say I think I find different things attractive about different people, and that probably sounds like a cop-out answer to them but even to myself I think it's the best one I can give.
 
The_Brown_Fox said:
No one really knows what the future holds. You may end up meeting your future awesome significant other today at the grocery store. But people who are so ridiculously picky and critical ("Ew, a mole on his face!"..."Ugh! Socks with sandals???"..."Ugh, she has tattoos, and I HATE women with tattoos!") will just find themselves disappointed with just about everyone.
You're so right. I often find myself liking about someone I like, the things I wouldn't like about them otherwise...if that makes sense...maybe not socks with sandals though. That reminds me a bit too much of my highschool science teacher.
 
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The_Brown_Fox said:
Ugh! Socks with sandals???

NO EXCUSE FOR THIS EVER! :naughty: I would turn down Robert Downy JR. for socks and sandals! That shows a complete lack of self awareness! Anyone who does this is mentally unstable! They must be!
 
JoleneJolene said:
The_Brown_Fox said:
Ugh! Socks with sandals???

NO EXCUSE FOR THIS EVER! :naughty: I would turn down Robert Downy JR. for socks and sandals! That shows a complete lack of self awareness! Anyone who does this is mentally unstable! They must be!


um....hypothetical question.... :?


What does everyone think of fishnet stockings...with sandals...?


I think I made a big fashion no-no yesterday when I cashed my check XD
 
ScarletVixen said:
JoleneJolene said:
The_Brown_Fox said:
Ugh! Socks with sandals???

NO EXCUSE FOR THIS EVER! :naughty: I would turn down Robert Downy JR. for socks and sandals! That shows a complete lack of self awareness! Anyone who does this is mentally unstable! They must be!


um....hypothetical question.... :?


What does everyone think of fishnet stockings...with sandals...?


I think I made a big fashion no-no yesterday when I cashed my check XD

My policy with feet is: do whatever feels bests. Ouchie feet are teh suck. Fishnets are a little odd but sexah. Sexah legs + smart about feet = win. I'm not sure if I just expressed an opinion or developed a new branch of math, but I think maybe I'm getting the hang of this interwebs thing.
 
JoleneJolene said:
The_Brown_Fox said:
Ugh! Socks with sandals???

NO EXCUSE FOR THIS EVER! :naughty: I would turn down Robert Downy JR. for socks and sandals! That shows a complete lack of self awareness! Anyone who does this is mentally unstable! They must be!


I hate socks with sandals too (I just threw that into my other post for shits and giggles)! As well as long-sleeved turtleneck shirts worn with shorts. :?

Maybe guys who do the socks with sandals thing are in need of a good woman to come along and tell him "Babe, I love you with all my heart, but socks with sandals? Hell naw....." :lol:

Adding 'socks with sandals' to the Pet Peeves thread...lol.
 
SweepTheLeg said:
Women only date one type, they're called assholes.
Yea, it is really easy to believe this sometimes, but I keep telling myself it ain't so.
 
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