Cumulative story game!

[RoseCavilla]

This game probably has a different name, but I can't think of it. But here's how it works. You write one sentence that builds off of the most recently posted sentence. Please don't be that guy who writes "the end" after every post. Or else I'll sic my puppy on you! We can periodically refresh and start a new story if someone kills all the characters off or otherwise stumps is. You may also wish to leave off mid sentence to let someone else run with your idea, but please don't let things get too choppy. First sentence:

As soon as I entered the apartment, I found a trail of massacred toilet paper leading up onto my bed where my cat lay sprawled on her back.

 

[Shaun__]

My mouth fell open, since my parents had said she had gone off to live on a "farm" when I was a small child.

 

[RoseCavilla]

I had long since presumed her dead, but there she was staring me down with her feline eyes intent on revenge for all the times I'd put aluminum foil on her paws to make her dance around.

 

[Shaun__]

Deciding to take the initiative I lunged forward to catch her in my hands, but caught only air as they passed through her body.

 

[Nordling]

Or so I had thought, when the reality was, she'd escaped my grasp with pure feline speed.

 

[RoseCavilla]

Frantically, I looked around trying to see where she'd gone while I tried to identify anything I could use as a weapon or shield against her ninja claws.

 

[Shaun__]

I saw after a quick glance around the room that her impressive leap had deposited her on the top of my now wobbling TV, but her crouch said she was not planning on staying there.

 

[southsamurai]

With a quick swipe of her paw to turn the television on to cover the sounds of pain, little miss kitty began her bloody assault.

 

[RoseCavilla]

She flew through the air on wings of rage as she beared her claws and aimed for my face.

 

[krukstyle]

Luckily I was within reach of a giant purple body pillow which I flung desperately in the direction of the ominous feline tornado.

 

[Nordling]

Which only partly helped, as the pillow was soon rent into a cloud of feathers and satin fabric.

 

[RoseCavilla]

I threw myself to the side as she sailed by my face, narrowly escaping with a superficial face wound.

 

[mynameisbob84]

As the feline glowered at me with eyes of hatred and ill intent, I realised to my horror, I had shat myself.

 

[Nordling]

Just then, Mort, my elderly bloodhound strolled into the room, likely because of the newly-oozed stench emitting from my nether region.

 

[RoseCavilla]

But at soon as he saw Miss Kitty he immediately became tense recalling his puppyhood years of being ruthlessly tormented by her.

 

[southsamurai]

Mort and i exchanged a look of regret that we had rescued the kitten from inside a satanic circle where it had sat on the altar cleaning its bloody claws.

 

[krukstyle]

Suddenly I saw a glimmer of inspiration in Mort's droopy glazed eyes--and I knew just what my trusted hound was thinking: it was time to unleash the secret sequence of dog tricks we had worked tirelessly on so many years ago.

 

[Nordling]

So, armed with a baby rattle, a tooth brush, and a vibrating dildo, Mort and I proceeded to....

 

[southsamurai]

So, armed with a baby rattle, a tooth brush, and a vibrating dildo, Mort and I proceeded to....

doggie dance! he rolled over through my legs as i leaned down to grasp his forelegs firmly, swinging him upwards with the dildo grasped between his firm though aged teeth.

 

[Nordling]

Sylvia, the erstwhile devil-cat, viewed all these hijinks with insouciance, and blithely flipped her tail and proceeded to clean her lady bits.

 

[helloimc]

The doorbell then rang, perhaps the only sound that made Sylvia cower, Mort smirked and ran to greet the guest in full slobber.

 

[Nordling]

It was Helga, the cleaning woman--she usually comes on Mondays--so why is she here on a Tuesday...?

 

[RoseCavilla]

"I got a call." she said as she brandished a menacing club.

 

[AnaVictoriaXO]

"A call?" I asked, a little nervous as she held the club, her eyes focused on Sylvia. "A call from who?!"

 

[Nordling]

"Why, from you!" Helga muttered, and as I looked at her more closely, I noticed her blouse was unbuttoned.

 

[krukstyle]

Underneath the thick starchy wool of Helga's blouse I glimpsed a sea of glimmering shifting scales, and thought, "Perhaps this isn't my Helga after all."

 

[Nordling]

Sylvia yowled angrily; Mort whined.

 

[RoseCavilla]

"I'm here to take care of bad kitty, move out of the way." She pushed me to the Sodexo and raised the club above her head as Mort assumed an offensive position alongside her.

 

[krukstyle]

As I stared up in horror at the club quivering above Helga's head, my long lost hamster, Jerry--who I assumed had met his doom after a successful escape attempt--scampered from Helga's blouse, climbed her arm, and perched himself on the very tip of the club.

 

[LadyLuna]

Helga swung her club, launching Jerry through the air, towards Sylvia.