Cumming on command

[LuckySmiles]

So this is something I never used to be able to do but am personally getting good at and kind of enjoy.
I kind of assume it's easier for men than women in m/f situations but don't really know. In my mind maybe a woman saying to a man, for example, "Now! cum for me now!" Is probably better than her saying "no, not yet wait for meee, damn youuu"
Haha but I've never said or thought that ever Of course lot's of women cum fast too! but, ya know.
Whenever I've told a man to cum whether IRL or on cam most of them usually can even if they last a long time otherwise! Almost instantly :whistle:

While there's nothing worse IMO then having sex IRL or performing a fancy internet show and have someone impatiently, or abruptly being like "Are you gonna cum yet" almost testy like and you feel "maybe I was but now that I'm under pressure and the clock is ticking probably no not ever!"

And also I don't mean like having a 80 second private show on MFC and some douchenheimer is like "cum baby cum for me now" not yet! I can't yet!
I can't do that.
But I can do it via internet as well as real life within the appropriate time window of orgasm level arousal. Like within a minute or two of someone saying so I find I can and sometimes prefer or find it easier. Otherwise I can go on forever. Maybe it IS being told as opposed to asked

I find it very interesting! And the psychology behind it. Looking it up, it's considered part of a submission thing which it can be, but I don't necessarily see it that way. Personally sometimes it's more of a reminder to focus, as someone who can be easily distracted. :lol: haha I'm not sure how to look at it. Plus IRL I think I've dealt with more dominant types that love to be told to as well. But on cam I deal with a lot more submissive types who need it too.
So I don't know! Maybe more men just love it in general! But I like it too.
So much of it is mental so I guess I'm just curious if more people find it a turn on or a turn off and why. Especially since for me personally it's something I used to dislike but now do. Wow This turned into a novel.

Thoughts? Opinons? Experiences? Care to share?

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Best way to make sure I don't cum in a cumshow is to tell me to cum. Such a turn off I hate that. Seems like they're begging the girl to fake it. Maybe some can cum on command, but I don't get how. :?

 

[KylieJacobs]

I can't cum on command. Wish I could though!

I know I can focus a lot better when I'm on cam. My mind doesn't wander when I'm on cam like it does IRL sometimes.

 

[southsamurai]

i know this one was more for the ladies, but....

i practiced tantra for over a decade so im really good at NOT ejaculating. but between that and medication side effects it got to where i couldnt do it hardly at all. seriously i went for 6 hours once, wasnt even close. enter (pun intended) my current paramour and now fiancee .

well since she, like myself, has a bit of a fetish for honest to god real orgasm without barriers i had to figure out a way to get past the inability to ejaculate, ( i had and have orgasms without it that are insanely wonderful, but it isnt the same thing at all). now it hasnt been that long since she moved in, so the road along the way hasnt gotten far yet, but with a bit of reverse control ive found out that i can reliably ejaculate pretty darn quickly once given the ok to do so. yes yes it helps hearing "come in me baby", but we do things that dont involve vaginal intercourse and i still manage to come within a minute or so of her request to do so (usually).

i dont know if its the training to be able to control and prevent ejaculation that lets me switch the toggle on and off like that or not, but it seems right. the same breath control techniques and imagery that built up the required ability to separate from the physical urge to ejaculate works to hasten it as well. unless i work on stopping it first. if seems that if i turn the switch to off it just stays off until i get away from that session for an hour or so.

i know that male and female bodies arent the same as regards reproductive plumbing but i would think that if one person can learn to do it, it may well be possible for another with a different gender.

 

[LuckySmiles]

i know this one was more for the ladies, but....

It's not more for the ladies it's for everyone I'm so curious!! Thank you!

 

[LuckySmiles]

Best way to make sure I don't cum in a cumshow is to tell me to cum. Such a turn off I hate that. Seems like they're begging the girl to fake it. Maybe some can cum on command, but I don't get how. :?

Idk man for me personally it's a mental thing. I didn't used to be able to. And I think If it's online and a member I secretly can't stand or something and they said to I probably wouldn't be able to anymore... like out of spite. Like screw you now I never will. You can't tell me what to do :lol:

But that's also what I'm finding too I get super annoyed if I feel like people don't believe me. Tell me to do it! I so can! I so can!
Plus I've never minded admitting like sorry I'm not gonna cum it's not you, it's me. Or I can but I'm a little drunk and I probably need at least x- more minutes. (vaginas get drunk too, true story)

 

[Ann_Sulu]

Best way to make sure I don't cum in a cumshow is to tell me to cum. Such a turn off I hate that. Seems like they're begging the girl to fake it. Maybe some can cum on command, but I don't get how. :?

Idk man for me personally it's a mental thing. I didn't used to be able to. And I think If it's online and a member I secretly can't stand or something and they said to I probably wouldn't be able to anymore... like out of spite. Like screw you now I never will. You can't tell me what to do :lol:

But that's also what I'm finding too I get super annoyed if I feel like people don't believe me. Tell me to do it! I so can! I so can!
Plus I've never minded admitting like sorry I'm not gonna cum it's not you, it's me. Or I can but I'm a little drunk and I probably need at least x- more minutes. (vaginas get drunk too, true story)

Yeah, no good point, and I want to clarify. I only get that way when I'm on cam. If it's a guy in bed telling me to cum, I think it's hot, but if some random person in my chat says it it pisses me off. (idk why, but I'm sub in the bedroom, and fairly domme in the camroom :? )That's why I ignore my chat during cumshows, and tell them if they want to tell me something do it in a tip note. If they tell me that in a note, I'll be less annoyed since they paid, but still I'll likely take longer to cum because of it putting me off.

 

[JessieWolfe]

I can cum real fast if I have a porno on in the background haha that's my trick for cumming on command.

Mental stimulation just makes it happen for me lol Or if I watch a porn before I come online, it helps me focus more to cum.
God that made me sound like a perv haha

 

[JerryBoBerry]

God that made me sound like a perv haha

Aren't we all?

 

[yossarian]

Why the hell did I read this thread title as "Cumming on Cereal?"

 

[BustyEllie]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but cumming for me is really hard work!

In real life, I mean, during the sex - it's impossible thing to do. (I'm 24).
I love my boyfriend, I love to have sex with him.. and well.. I LOVE TO HAVE SEX but I never finish.. like.. NEVER.
I can cum if I masturbate and that's all, maybe with oral too, but nobody went so far. It's shame I need to fake it for guys in real life sometimes, cause I see how hard they try, and I start to think that there is something wrong with me!

With my current boyfriend, I tried to explain him.. explain what to do, how to do.. when to do but it doesn't work I see how hard he's trying to make me cum.. but it doesn't work, I feel close sometimes, but that's all.. further that feeling I don't go Yes, I feel good and happy after sex..
To add, I get very angry and nervous when I don't have sex longer than 5 days, so.. I'm not frigid! :dance:

On the cam.. it's pretty easy for me to cum when I masturbate, but I can't cum on the command.
It's a huge turn off for me, cause I need to warm up, I need to feel sexy, I love to turn on the man (cause same time it's a huge turn on for me too) but then, a lot of them shout: "yes bb cum for me now", I start to feel nervous..
Also, I realized that a lot of guys want me to start do my thing faster and harder (cause obviously they think it's the way it works: you f**k girl harder, she cums faster) and make a great finish.. but it's not that way, which works for me. :?

 

[Bocefish]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but cumming for me is really hard work!

It's OK.

Seriously though, you're far from alone in that department. All I can suggest is to possibly see a professional sex therapist, or maybe try to drink some wine prior to sexy time, in order to help you relax. :dontknow:

 

[LuckySmiles]

I feel bad now like I have to clarify that I might be giving people the wrong idea.

I don't know what is wrong with me, but cumming for me is really hard work!

In real life, I mean, during the sex - it's impossible thing to do. (I'm 24).
I love my boyfriend, I love to have sex with him.. and well.. I LOVE TO HAVE SEX but I never finish.. like.. NEVER.
I can cum if I masturbate and that's all, maybe with oral too, but nobody went so far. It's shame I need to fake it for guys in real life sometimes, cause I see how hard they try, and I start to think that there is something wrong with me!

Despite the topic, no one knows you, better than you. You don't have to feel bad. You don't have to fake it either. For some women it takes a long time to figure out what works and that's stressful, and counterproductive because stressing out about it is what makes it so hard! Vicious cycle. It might be easier to kind of forget about it for awhile and just focus on what feels the best without actually worrying about cumming. That's the evil little trick to it.

With my current boyfriend, I tried to explain him.. explain what to do, how to do.. when to do but it doesn't work I see how hard he's trying to make me cum.. but it doesn't work, I feel close sometimes, but that's all.. further that feeling I don't go Yes, I feel good and happy after sex..
To add, I get very angry and nervous when I don't have sex longer than 5 days, so.. I'm not frigid! :dance:

It sounds like you're putting so much pressure on yourself and feeling guilty about your boyfriend that it's making it more difficult. I think in general it's easier to cum during sex by not trying to. Focusing on the good stuff. Kind of the opposite of the topic I'm sorry if it's misunderstood.

But what I meant in the topic is getting to the point of knowing yourself well enough to do it almost when told to in certain situations. It's not easy at all, but can be fun to play with. That's all. It's not something I used to be able to do but am finding I can have a bit of fun with.

On the cam.. it's pretty easy for me to cum when I masturbate, but I can't cum on the command.
It's a huge turn off for me, cause I need to warm up, I need to feel sexy, I love to turn on the man (cause same time it's a huge turn on for me too) but then, a lot of them shout: "yes bb cum for me now", I start to feel nervous..
Also, I realized that a lot of guys want me to start do my thing faster and harder (cause obviously they think it's the way it works: you f**k girl harder, she cums faster) and make a great finish.. but it's not that way, which works for me. :?

And also I should probably add that It takes me a million years to cum in a public show! It's part of why I don't do them much. I might be more comfortable trying them again at some point, but this is something I can do in private or group shows. I don't know why it makes such a difference for me but it does.
Everyone has there thing.
If someone actually said it like "yes bb cum" especially someone I've never chatted with or hasn't tipped :lol: I'd probably throw things at the cam. Or maybe it's just tokens. Maybe tokens actually make me cum. The bigger harder faster they are the better :shhh:

Why the hell did I read this thread title as "Cumming on Cereal?"

Honey Nut Cheerios indeed! :thumbleft:

just kidding!...I hate cheerios uke-front:

 

[MisterL]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but cumming for me is really hard work!

It's OK.

Seriously though, you're far from alone in that department. All I can suggest is to possibly see a professional sex therapist, or maybe try to drink some wine prior to sexy time, in order to help you relax. :dontknow:

aahahahah great pic

 

[Lili Sparks]

apologies if reviving old threads is a faux pas here

I was trained to come on command and it generally takes certain cues if it's someone other than my Dom commanding me, but if it's him, all he has to do is say my name and tell me to come and it works whether I'm worked up or not. Even over the phone. It's been one of my favorite things about being a sub. I can almost come just thinking about it. *happy shiver*

 

[opalc0coon]

I can do it sometimes but I love it when guys can. Especially if they can do it over and over again....

 

[Sansa]

There is nothing more of a turn off than when someone tells me to cum.

I really really really do not like being told what to do.

I am not sure if this is a dom thing or a brat thing, because if someone tells me not to, I inevitably will pretty quickly or it's hard not to. :lol:

 

[yummybrownfox]

On command? No. I mean...uh...let's get naked and test it out. :mrgreen:

 

[Phoebe]

It always works for me! idk why, but it's really so sexy :icon-redface:

 

[LilaFaye]

I don't know what is wrong with me, but cumming for me is really hard work!

In real life, I mean, during the sex - it's impossible thing to do. (I'm 24).
I love my boyfriend, I love to have sex with him.. and well.. I LOVE TO HAVE SEX but I never finish.. like.. NEVER.
I can cum if I masturbate and that's all, maybe with oral too, but nobody went so far. It's shame I need to fake it for guys in real life sometimes, cause I see how hard they try, and I start to think that there is something wrong with me!

With my current boyfriend, I tried to explain him.. explain what to do, how to do.. when to do but it doesn't work I see how hard he's trying to make me cum.. but it doesn't work, I feel close sometimes, but that's all.. further that feeling I don't go Yes, I feel good and happy after sex..
To add, I get very angry and nervous when I don't have sex longer than 5 days, so.. I'm not frigid! :dance:

On the cam.. it's pretty easy for me to cum when I masturbate, but I can't cum on the command.
It's a huge turn off for me, cause I need to warm up, I need to feel sexy, I love to turn on the man (cause same time it's a huge turn on for me too) but then, a lot of them shout: "yes bb cum for me now", I start to feel nervous..
Also, I realized that a lot of guys want me to start do my thing faster and harder (cause obviously they think it's the way it works: you f**k girl harder, she cums faster) and make a great finish.. but it's not that way, which works for me. :?

SAME SAME SAME
Omg thank you for this, I always feel so alone.
I can come relatively quickly and easily when I masturbate with a toy, and recently I've also learned to go old school with just my fingers.

But I can't have an authentic orgasm during partner sex... and I've had the luxury of trying a sybian, a "fucking machine" (this was actually not as fun as it looks in porn), and had one or two attentive and devoted partners. I think it's a mental block. I really want to try Orgasmic Meditation (OMing) because I do feel some insecurity about this when I'm with a partner, and I'd like to change.

The part of your post I underlined - this is so resonant for me! I do some reading about sex and sexuality. One of my favorite writers is "sexologist" Betty Dodson - she has done a lot of advocacy concerning how the male-centric model of sexuality* makes women feel guilty for not being able to come during fast, rough sex.
One thing I really like about her is that she's a sex-positive feminist who doesn't shame women who do find that they're able to come from rough sex, like some anti-porn feminists do (those jerks).

*By the way, the "male-centric model of sexuality" is the archetypal hetero sex narrative where emphasis is put on the man's pleasure and sex ends when he comes.

I highly recommend reading Betty's blog and books (Sex For One changed my life!) if you want to learn more about how orgasms work from an academic-ish perspective.

 

[Jillybean]

The only time I can cum on command is when it's a denial kind of situation. Where I'm made to hold it back for a very long time, yet keep a vibrator on my clit. The minute I'm allowed to relax it just happens.

It's pretty cool. I like being told, "It's okay to cum now."

 

[Anique]

Well, I'm not sure if this counts as cumming on demand, but I orgasm quite easily. I also have multiple orgasms and can cum just from getting pounded without clit play. I enjoy being watched and watching guys jerk it. There mere thought of a guy jerking it to me turns me on, actually... Convenient, eh? I'm lucky. Of course I can't do it without stimulation although some people can achieve orgasms with their mind alone. That's only happened to me twice. When a Dom commands me to cum, I have an easy time getting myself there. In fact, I did it 2 nights ago IRL and the guy was very impressed.

As a submissive, I've done lots of different orgasm control activities. There's the obligatory "asking permission" and holding it in if said permission isn't granted. Needless to say, I've come a long way since I've started.

 

[gingerhobbit]

On command...is this before my little blue pill or after?

 

[SatanJonez]

After doing the online sex work thing I only recently figured out how to make myself cum on command. I usually only do it in real life, but there have been a few times on cam I did it because I wanted to. It honestly feels better to take my time and let it build normally, but hey. I can be a bit greedy with orgasms IRL and Mister Satan doesn't seem to mind.

 

[LuckySmiles]

I made this thread so long ago... I'm not really into this anymore... baha sexuality is funny.
But sometimes it's still fun. I don't crave it as much lately.
I do like the denial too. I always want to do something someone tells me I can't... I like head games. And sexy threats are cool like... you better not cum before I say so, or else I'll... (anything awesome)
fun times.

 

[KennedyKoxMFC]

I have never been able to cum on command and it's so frustrating. It literally takes all my concentration for me to cum, otherwise I could have sex or receive oral for hours and have nothing happen. I've never had a guy tell me to cum before but I can imagine that if I was told I would give them a stupid look and say "That's what I'm trying to do!! I'm not here for the scenery". Even on cam, when I'm told to cum it takes me several minutes of hard concentration before I am able to orgasm.

 

[HarleyBelle]

I can cum on command most of the time.. but when I do its 'surface level' in a way... it just happens and its over instead of being a full body experience

 

[Ginger.Liqueur]

It really depends on where my minds is at when I'm told to cum. I need to be in this odd combination of being focused but also relaxed.

When there's been enough foreplay or sexual tension, being told to cum works like a charm. Within 2 minutes there's a puddle forming and I'm begging for it not to stop. On the flip-side, if my engines aren't purring, or I'm still warming up, being told to cum turns me completely off.

Wish it wasn't quite so finicky, but hopefully I'll gain more control as I experiment.

 

[David_Imm]

This is actually part of my fantasy!
I love it when a woman takes charge, but it's much better with a countdown of some sort . that way she has total control, and can make me wait. Even better is when she tells me to cum when she does, I love that, makes me cum almost every time.
I agree though, most women I've met get totally turned off by being "told" to do things during sex. Suggestions work much better.

 

[lacilemondrop]

I can cum real fast if I have a porno on in the background haha that's my trick for cumming on command.

Mental stimulation just makes it happen for me lol Or if I watch a porn before I come online, it helps me focus more to cum.
God that made me sound like a perv haha

I'm the same way. Porn makes me cum so quick sometimes or I'll get amped up watching it and not cum to prepare me for things to cum later.