Change in culture among new generation of cam girls?

[rockin_rod]

I have had guys upset because I haven't replied to DMs on say Streamate, Instagram and tt. Next message is "Are you ignoring me?". Very frustrating,

Yeah the 'on-demand' nature of technology extends to the expectation of immediate attention.
I recall the look of horror on my kid's faces when I told them about the pre-internet era for everyday households, and then the look of suspicion that I was just messing with them when I explained about the early days of dial-up modems, having to unplug the land line phone so you could plug in the modem to get online, and then waiting as a tiny jpeg image slowly appeared line-by-line.
One day, I'll tell them about life before cell phones were created and having B&W TV with no remote. But not yet, they're still in shock recovering from the dial-up internet conversation

 

[Nienna]

Many guys need to understand that it is not all about them. Reading about models' experiences on this forum, and how those experiences affected them, has been a real eye opener for me. One that I am truly grateful for.

 

[Highlander884]

I've known 2 girls who have left the likes of onlyfans/fansly because they just felt it wasnt worth the extra $. And a girl who has snapchat took it off her tip menu as she had so many people contacting her and decided she had reached social limit of people.

Tbh the demand for people to be online isnt just model based. A lady who reviews video games on twitter came off it because of too many people were constantly expecting replies. And recently many celebs have quit social media because of stress of having to update what they're doing and who's brand they're currently using.

Honestly what I recommend is just use insta and the like just to announce u r going online and when.
With onlyfans stuff if it's not making more then your camming just have it as a side hustle and post a photo every now and then. And let people know that u have a life away from the internet. If they cant accept that and still expect attention whenever then maybe their money isnt worth the hassle.

But again I'm just a tipper not a broadcaster so I dont know how people r.

 

[Just_A_Guy]

But successful Onlyfans is actually a lot of work

I have absolutely no doubts about it.

1000 sugar daddies will be showering them with money.

Personally, I don't know any guy who fits the description who needs to go on an Internet web site.

 

[Smoothie]

One day, I'll tell them about life before cell phones were created and having B&W TV with no remote. But not yet, they're still in shock recovering from the dial-up internet conversation

Tell them about the concept of pen pals, when you’d compose a handwritten letter to someone, drop it in snail mail and wait weeks for their handwritten reply. Kind of the primitive form of social media, I guess.

 

[Lilly_____]

I'd like to add that this is a very lonely profession. We rely heavily on online support from each other. There's no happy hours, no break room, no lunch together. And I have to admit that whenever I have the rare opportunity to just rest a bit - no work or household duties to do - I usually decide to work some more because I could use the money. That really takes a toll on social life.

 

[Highlander884]

I'd like to add that this is a very lonely profession. We rely heavily on online support from each other. There's no happy hours, no break room, no lunch together. And I have to admit that whenever I have the rare opportunity to just rest a bit - no work or household duties to do - I usually decide to work some more because I could use the money. That really takes a toll on social life.

Funny enough that's why one of the girls I follow moved back to her studio, because she was missing the company of the other girls.

 

[KingMarti]

While this is set in china and on china's version of twitch, it's not really that different from camming or trying to be a live streamer full time outside of china.



BBC has also done a video on one of the top live streamers in china that was pretty good, that one focusing more on the agency which is pretty comparable to a cam studio.

 

[Lilly_____]

While this is set in china and on china's version of twitch, it's not really that different from camming or trying to be a live streamer full time outside of china.



BBC has also done a video on one of the top live streamers in china that was pretty good, that one focusing more on the agency which is pretty comparable to a cam studio.

That's incredibly relatable. The fake book thing really got to me though for some reason lol I just can't stand fake books

 

[AudriTwo]

Especially social/energy vampires. It's easier to ban and remove someone from your online life with a click of a mouse button.

technology really has really helped me reach my final bitch hermit form.

Spoiler

 

[Finchomatic]

technology really has really helped me reach my final bitch hermit form.

Spoiler

 

[WarmWaters]

While this is set in china and on china's version of twitch, it's not really that different from camming or trying to be a live streamer full time outside of china.



BBC has also done a video on one of the top live streamers in china that was pretty good, that one focusing more on the agency which is pretty comparable to a cam studio.

OMG this was perfectly relatable to the subject and essentially exactly what I was referring to when creating this post. Thank you so much for sharing!

 

[Smores]

It used to be that girls on CB would tell you about the club they went to or guys they fucked last Friday night but now I’m literally hearing these girls say they only have 1 or 2 friends + Chat. The site isn’t attracting strippers who are just hanging out before they go to the club as their “real job,” it seems to be attracting a lot of younger, celibate women who are lonely and want a community. They don’t really talk to anyone else; they have their Twitter, onlyfans, Snapchat, and discord accounts linked so they can stay in contact with Chat 24/7. It’s like they’re addicted to it. They are active in discord group chats just in case they ever feel the need to talk to someone when they are feeling lonely at 3am Chat will be there. They have group movie nights, group dinner nights, etc with their Discord “family” otherwise known as Chat.

Regarding the girls who "have no friends" and live on webcam, I have a different point of view than you.

First, I do not believe there are more of these girls now than before. I think the world has a certain percentage of introverts and extroverts, and current technology makes it easier for introverts to lead ever more isolated lives, but they have always been there, and I have interacted with such people for a long time.

Second, you need to be careful about believing any cover story a webcam model gives you. I have gotten to know so many offline that I clearly understand now that many of them are 95% acting. A model I really like is extremely explicit in her shows, but in real life she despises talking about sex. All of her sexuality online is really part of her, but it is buried deep, deep, deep inside of her, and she would never discuss it with anyone but her therapist and her current boyfriend (maybe not with her boyfriend either...lol). So the sexuality that you are presented online might not be very representative of the person's real sexuality. Likewise, if a girl online tells me she "has no friends", I would test that. It might be part of her act, because it always brings out the "white knights" who want to "rescue" her from her "loneliness". She's a fisherman and you are the fish. So be a smart fish and don't assume the lure is real.

When they actually "have no friends", in general I have had bad experiences with such models. Often, the reason they have no friends is because they are dysfunctional human beings. They live in a cloud of paranoia and distrust, and they will never trust anyone. You experience that enough times and why should I waste my time being the counselor or friend to such a person? You will work 10 times harder than you work with a normal person to get 100 times less friendship. It's a dumb investment of my time.

A really common case I have noticed with the "have no friends" girls is that they only date guys they meet on dating apps. They would *never* date anyone they meet on a webcam modeling site, ever, no exceptions. So they live a life where webcam modeling is 100% about getting money, and they "date" guys they meet on dating apps, playing them like a video game that they can just flick the switch on and turn off whenever they like. Apparently none of the model's fans ever figure that dynamic out and spend all their money trying to befriend the poor model who has no friends. As a webcam viewer, I don't see the point of playing that game.

My best experiences with webcam models have been with extroverts. I am an introvert and extroverts understand how to read me quickly and generally have little fear of me. Quite often these are girls with really messy lives. They are chasing thrills and impulses. I don't think I would want to be dating some of them, but many times they express their own sexuality and preferences very honestly, and they are not threatened if I do the same. They want your money too, but there are many more honest moments, and that is important to me.

On paper, I match better with introverts than extroverts. And I have had some great friendships with models who are introverts. But - WOW - it was SO...MUCH...WORK to get to know them and gain any level of trust. It does not feel like a great use of time.

 

[rockin_rod]

Tell them about the concept of pen pals, when you’d compose a handwritten letter to someone, drop it in snail mail and wait weeks for their handwritten reply. Kind of the primitive form of social media, I guess.

Funny you mention that. When I was a kid growing up in the UK, we had an arrangement with a school in the USA to have class pen pals. I can't remember exactly where, but *think* it was in NJ (but not important).
The turnaround time from sending our letters to receiving replies was 6-8 weeks. It'd drive you crazy to wait that long nowadays, but there was something incredibly exciting to see the big box containing all our letters finally arrive and sitting there on the teacher's desk. One of us would be chosen to open it and distribute all the letters to their recipients. Then we'd find a quiet corner or nook to sit cross-legged on the floor and devour the news from our mysterious, exotic, and exciting friends across the Atlantic. We compared gridiron with rugby, baseball with cricket, Wendy's with Wimpy and just about every aspect of our lives.
Such nice memories flooding back, thank you for the prompt!!!!

 

[Marceline]

you need to be careful about believing any cover story a webcam model gives you. I have gotten to know so many offline that I clearly understand now that many of them are 95% acting.

Yeah, most models have an online persona. This is nothing new or shocking.

if a girl online tells me she "has no friends", I would test that.

How exactly would you test someone saying they have no friends? Pound them with personal questions, hoping to gain some insight into their personal life, which is none of your business?

Often, the reason they have no friends is because they are dysfunctional human beings.

Dude, who hurt you? From your spiel, it sounds like some self proclaimed introvert with no friends hurt your feelings and now you're pissed at all introverted models. There's a ton of reasons why people may not have any, or really many, friends. I can tell you from personal experience, maintaining friendships as an adult can be difficult. The friends you grew up with, went to high school with, etc, they all have their own lives. Almost everyone I know is married with children and has 9-5 jobs. Responsibilities come first, and oftentimes people drift apart and friendships fall to the wayside.

It's also more difficult to meet people and cultivate friendships in real life now. Whether it be because of how interaction has changed between people due to the rise of social media, people's wariness around others because of how tense and extreme things have gotten with current world/societal/political issues, or covid, people don't generally want to strike up conversations with randoms out in public. So, to meet new friends as an adult, you're usually left with either meeting people through your work, through people you already know or online.

Now, add being a cam model into the mix. Even though camming and content creating is becoming a little more acceptable these days because of stuff like the rise in popularity of OnlyFans, adult/sex work is still heavily stigmatized. All you need to do is go to any post on the Reddit popular page that mentions OnlyFans to see just how much people hate when someone profits off their sexuality. So, it becomes even harder to make friends, because you're always worried about what someone's reaction will be when/if they find out what you do for a living. And then, you're working from home and if you're not into partying and drinking and going out, you have very few opportunities to even meet new people outside of the internet.

So yeah, not every person with few or no friends is dysfunctional.

A really common case I have noticed with the "have no friends" girls is that they only date guys they meet on dating apps. They would *never* date anyone they meet on a webcam modeling site, ever, no exceptions. So they live a life where webcam modeling is 100% about getting money, and they "date" guys they meet on dating apps, playing them like a video game that they can just flick the switch on and turn off whenever they like. Apparently none of the model's fans ever figure that dynamic out and spend all their money trying to befriend the poor model who has no friends. As a webcam viewer, I don't see the point of playing that game.

Since when was it a bad thing that camming is 100% about making money? The majority of people who cam do so because it's their job. Why do people have jobs? Oh yeah, to make money.

Also, I fall into the category of being someone who would never date anyone I meet through work, but who has gone on dating apps and dated (not "dated") from it. There's nothing wrong with that and just because the two happen online, doesn't mean they're the same thing.

Camming/content creating for me is a job. The goal there isn't to meet potential romantic partners. It's to be fun and entertaining so that I can make the money to pay my bills. I'm also not interested in a long distance relationship and I have my location geoblocked on all my sites. Plus, I don't tell people in my personal life any of my work information, such as my stage name and sites. With dating someone you meet through adult work, I know for me the concern would always be there that if things went south he could easily dox my personal information online AND dox my work information to people in my personal life.

With going on dating apps, the goal is to actually meet someone. And unlike with work, when I've gone on dating apps (admittedly it's been awhile now since I have) I'm actually being a much more authentic version of myself, compared to when I'm working.

And obviously, it should go without saying that not all women, or I'd say even most, that date people they meet on dating apps "play them like a video game that they can just flick on and off whenever they like". That sounds like bitter incel rhetoric.

 

[AudriTwo]

@Smores you need help bro. im not trying to sound harsh dude, but you should really speak to a therapist about how you engage with strangers. not this thread but others how you talk about women, in general, is concerning.

maybe people don't want to open up to you because you are covered in marinara sauce like carrie during prom night. thats how much of a red flag you give off.

 

[yummybrownfox]

Likewise, if a girl online tells me she "has no friends", I would test that. It might be part of her act, because it always brings out the "white knights" who want to "rescue" her from her "loneliness". She's a fisherman and you are the fish. So be a smart fish and don't assume the lure is real.

When they actually "have no friends", in general I have had bad experiences with such models. Often, the reason they have no friends is because they are dysfunctional human beings. They live in a cloud of paranoia and distrust, and they will never trust anyone. You experience that enough times and why should I waste my time being the counselor or friend to such a person? You will work 10 times harder than you work with a normal person to get 100 times less friendship. It's a dumb investment of my time.

A really common case I have noticed with the "have no friends" girls is that they only date guys they meet on dating apps. They would *never* date anyone they meet on a webcam modeling site, ever, no exceptions. So they live a life where webcam modeling is 100% about getting money, and they "date" guys they meet on dating apps, playing them like a video game that they can just flick the switch on and turn off whenever they like. Apparently none of the model's fans ever figure that dynamic out and spend all their money trying to befriend the poor model who has no friends. As a webcam viewer, I don't see the point of playing that game.

My best experiences with webcam models have been with extroverts. I am an introvert and extroverts understand how to read me quickly and generally have little fear of me. Quite often these are girls with really messy lives. They are chasing thrills and impulses. I don't think I would want to be dating some of them, but many times they express their own sexuality and preferences very honestly, and they are not threatened if I do the same. They want your money too, but there are many more honest moments, and that is important to me.

On paper, I match better with introverts than extroverts. And I have had some great friendships with models who are introverts. But - WOW - it was SO...MUCH...WORK to get to know them and gain any level of trust. It does not feel like a great use of time.

I mean...it's ridiculous anyway to expect cam models to date you. And you sound like you're one of the men who've tried.....

Also, you say "They only date guys they meet on dating apps" like that's a bad thing.

The models who told you they have no friends...maybe their so-called friends judged them for being in sex work, and cut them off? Maybe they're too busy working (trying to pay bills and eat like everyone else) to have in-person friends, so the people closest to them are the ones they meet on the internet?

All this talk about "testing" her to see whether or not she has friends...and "working to earn her trust"...yikes. You sound like one of those members who thinks he's slick, and is trying to get the model to open up with personal information about herself (her real name, where she lives and places she frequents, etc.) that's absolutely none of your business.

 

[Smores]

@Marceline There is no problem with you at all. You have a very alpha personality, very aggressive, and you always say what you mean here. I have no issue with you. You don't need to defend yourself, at least not from anything I am saying anyway. I don't talk to my high school or college friends either. And I never said that everyone without friends is dysfunctional.

Introverts pretty much rule the online world. We gravitate to these online environments. And many of us have serious issues. I have serious issues too. I am never satisfied by anything. I can't just relax. Okay, that's me.

I love introverts. I love them. I am very attracted to them. But I am making the point that some people withdraw into a shell that is so deep that no one is going to draw them out of it unless they invest ENORMOUS amounts of time. I am not judging those people. But I do not think I am being unfair to anyone to say that I want to protect my time and not be making that investment. I am coming to these sites to try to have some fun, try to learn more about myself, and to try to learn more about other people and how they think about sex. I just want to maximize those goals while minimizing the effort required to achieve that.

It is a totally valid choice - and probably it is the best choice - for webcam models to not date their customers. I agree with that. But there is a wide gap between dating those customers and just talking to them as ordinary people, while keeping all your privacy guards in place. Without invalidating the model's choice, I am just commenting to viewers that they could learn to see patterns that will quickly inform them that they will never get close to a person they want to get close to. Since models do very successfully employ a strategy of telling their public audience "I have no friends" and since viewers do respond to that with white knight behavior, I am not the bad guy for pointing out the pattern.

@yummybrownfox The bottom line is I have never dated a model. Out of a very large number of models I have spoken to offline, only two have gotten close enough that they wanted to date, and we did not date. So facts are important, and I am not using these sites to get dates or sex.

I have never violated someone's right to privacy. I have never outed someone to others. I have never stalked anyone. I have never pushed someone and deliberately tried to make them uncomfortable. Nine times out of ten, it is really obvious to me or her or both of us that we are not going to be great friends and that is okay.

But definitely I do have the goal to know the real mind that sits behind the model persona. First, I am a truth lover and I would prefer to know what is the person's real context for what they do online. Second, I want to learn about people, and these sites give me a chance to learn with many models, without violating any rules or trust in a dating relationship. Finally, the difference between the model's public persona and her real-world persona are often night and day. It is important to me to learn that someone's sexuality as a model might just be a show, and I definitely am going to act differently once I understand a person's context for thinking about sexuality in the real world. I want to be sensitive about what the other person is comfortable thinking about and doing.

If any of this pushes someone's boundaries, they are going to tell me that, and I am going to not push over their boundaries. It is not a contest, and I am not trying to win any prize. I am just trying to learn more about myself and others, without making anyone uncomfortable along the way.

Finally, in reviewing the comments and re-reading my post, it was wrong of me to put down anyone's decision to date exclusively using dating apps. I was insensitive in my comments, and thank you for point that out. I apologize.

 

[AudriTwo]

But definitely I do have the goal to know the real mind that sits behind the model persona. First, I am a truth lover and I would prefer to know what is the person's real context for what they do online. Second, I want to learn about people, and these sites give me a chance to learn with many models, without violating any rules or trust in a dating relationship. Finally, the difference between the model's public persona and her real-world persona are often night and day. It is important to me to learn that someone's sexuality as a model might just be a show, and I definitely am going to act differently once I understand a person's context for thinking about sexuality in the real world. I want to be sensitive about what the other person is comfortable thinking about and doing.

You aint gonna get "real" from a place where monetary transactions are necessary for interaction.

Why is that important to you? Do you watch a play and gave an urge to get to know the "real" actors before you can enjoy the Hamlet?

If you want real relationships/interactions, paying for them isnt gonna achieve that. Most cammodels are gonna tell you what you want to hear, especially those studio models you prefer to visit. Hell you dont know if the "real" interactions you are suddenly getting is change in studioadmin handing messaging/coaching.

 

[Lilly_____]

OMG this was perfectly relatable to the subject and essentially exactly what I was referring to when creating this post. Thank you so much for sharing!

Now that you say this I think I get the OP a little better. I mean how it became so focused on social media. I don't like social media at all and I feel like it kind of takes away a lot of what I like about this job. I mean I do enjoy camming, but the whole "you have to build a following", "have an online presence". Dude I don't want that. I want to go there, put on a show and that's it. I hate the idea of having to convince people of how cool I am, and that's the vibes I get from social media overall.

On the other hand, any profession is like this nowadays. Language teachers, therapists, illustrators.... pretty much everyone who owns a business "has to have an online presence". So I feel like I wouldn't escape from that anyway.


Also about the dude that has a problem with camgirls not having friends and dating guys from apps.... Everything I had to say about it was already put perfectly by other girls so I'll just say that I share the feelings. Creepy af.

 

[Lou_King_]

Why is that important to you? Do you watch a play and gave an urge to get to know the "real" actors before you can enjoy the Hamlet?

This is fucking enlightening! (Is it OK to use the "f" word here... it deserved it!)

I'm gonna say it's not always easy for us users/spectators to get that web camming is just one more performative art. You know? We're inmersed in the performance, and might not have the tools to deal with that . I hope this doesn't sound like ass-kissing, but I think more web camming consumers should join this forum. The chat box on cam rooms isn't the place to talk about this kind of things, and this type of conversations can help us gain the tools I'm talking about.

It can get a bit dangerous and/or scary, for some of us, when we end up confusing performance with reality (I wonder if that happens to some models as well).

Anyway, thanks!

 

[secretary of filth]

I feel a little weird posting a contrary opinion as a new user, but I sort of get where @Smores is coming from. And he’s not necessarily disagreeing with some of you, either.

Camming is a performance, and what he’s saying is that in his experience, extroverts give a better performance. Which is a reasonable stance to take. I’m an introvert in real life but a decade’s worth of retail jobs has made me great at faking otherwise. It’s easy to see how a viewer would rather watch a model who is outgoing, talkative, etc, because that sells the fantasy better. Aka, the performance.

Although, Smores, your verbiage is a little creepy, to be sure. I hope I’m not mistaken in my understanding of your intent.

 

[ArcticKitty]

I really don't know if there has been a culture change in cam as such. Covid has affected social patterns in general, of course, and social isolation is unfortunately common too. I think that it's most likely that cam culture simply reflects our realities with lonely models and users. JMHO.

 

[ArcticKitty]

This is fucking enlightening! (Is it OK to use the "f" word here... it deserved it!)

I'm gonna say it's not always easy for us users/spectators to get that web camming is just one more performative art. You know? We're inmersed in the performance, and might not have the tools to deal with that . I hope this doesn't sound like ass-kissing, but I think more web camming consumers should join this forum. The chat box on cam rooms isn't the place to talk about this kind of things, and this type of conversations can help us gain the tools I'm talking about.

It can get a bit dangerous and/or scary, for some of us, when we end up confusing performance with reality (I wonder if that happens to some models as well).

Anyway, thanks!

Unfortunately, ACF attracts a lot of delusional and warped users and they don't become enlightened.