Can you respect people who...

[PlayboyMegan]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?
What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?
Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

 

[AmberCutie]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?
What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?
Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

Great thread idea! And I know what inspired it.

I'll try to get around to answering when I have more time. :thumbleft:

 

[JerryBoBerry]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?
What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?
Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

Yes, my beliefs are my own. They aren't going to change me so I don't try with them.
Plus it's just too much work and I don't feel like putting in the effort.

 

[Rileyster]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?
What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?
Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

Yes, as long as there is mutual respect! Although I do avoid racist people (because... there is no reason to be racist in the first place IMO), but I do respect people's beliefs/opinions on gay marriage and abortions.

 

[RoxyGolightly]

My two best friends have some radically different viewpoints on things from me (one of them basically doesn't give a crap about animals, the other was raised Mormon and keeps a lot of those values), but we make it work. It helps when people can back up their opinion calmly as well.

I respect people more who have convictions, than people who just don't care about anything.

I don't like racists though lol.

 

[God]

i saw a quote that says "if you don't stand for something you will fall for anything"

 

[KaterinaPryde]

If it is only a couple points of difference then yes I could be friends with them. But if we had differing opinions and values on a lot of subjects, then I could probably not be friends with them. We as humans seek people who have a basic core value system similar to our own.....

However, I can respect people with completely differing opinions, I just might not want to go sit down for a latte with them....what would we talk about that wouldn't end up in a fight? (Of course I am still talking about someone with radically differing opinions) Of course I have hardly any friends - so maybe I should loosen up

 

[Anonymous]

Honestly, it depends on what subject our differing opinions are.
If it's something that is very important to me, like feminism? No, probably not.
But that's only if they're radical about it, you know?
Like if they honestly believe men are oppressed and women do not deserve more rights, then no. No I could not respect someone like that.

If it's something like abortion, then yes. Abortion is a VERY personal choice. I understand both sides to the argument, and I have chosen my own opinion on it, and everyone else is entitled to choosing their own opinions on it. However, I do not believe the government should have any say on who can or can not have an abortion.

Racism? Hell no. If you're racist then you can stay the fuck away from me.

 

[Aella]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?
What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?
Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

I think most people here can respect people with different opinions, even vastly different ones.

Ok minor side topic:
I have an incredibly high tolerance for nearly every kink and fetish known to mankind. Pedophilia (as long as it doesn't actually affect anybody), cannibalism, scat play, pretty much the most offensive things you can probably think up, I will not judge or condemn or be offended.

Though there is one that I just can't wrap my head around, and it does trigger an offensive reaction in me, and that is 24/7 slave/master play. For some reason that makes me feel disgusted.
That is my one sexual nontolerance flaw. =(


In regards to politics or religion, I'd say the only one I *can't* respect are opinions that involve deliberate harm to others. Like the Muslim extremists who want to kill for Allah. Not gonna respect that. Or the cultures that promote subjugation of women. I will never excuse that because they're 'different' or 'that's just their tradition' - violation of human rights should have no excuse. And extreme feminism. I have trouble respecting extreme feminists.

Beyond that, though, I'm pretty tolerant. Hell, one of the guys I know (who you might meet come August) is practically communist and CHEERED WHEN OBAMA WAS ELECTED and is for heavy governmental control, but I'm still friends with him. He's cool. Even though he's totally wrong. ;D

Though... in practicality I'm not actually still friends with any of the people from my old religious life. And 'active' nontolerance - eliminating a certain subset of people from your social circle, be it intentional or not - is probably a form of intolerance, even if you mentally 'tolerate' those people.

So maybe, while I mentally tolerate and respect people whose opinions are different, I am actually intolerant in the way I act.

...huh.

 

[RoxyGolightly]

So maybe, while I mentally tolerate and respect people whose opinions are different, I am actually intolerant in the way I act.

...huh.

Eh I think there's a difference between tolerating/respecting different people and being self-preserving. Like I've made friends with people who were really cool and then TOTALLY SURPRISED me with their (to me) crazy opinions, but were awesome enough that it was a non-issue - totally different than leaving a community whose very values I don't agree with. Or who would judge me, or want me to live a certain way. If that makes sense!

 

[mynameisbob84]

Depends what we disagree about and how they put forth their opinion, but yeah, sure.

Being against gay marriage, while generally shitty, doesn't necesarily mean you're homophobic. You could be a fairly progressive Christian who has nothing against homosexuals in general but still believe that marriage is for men and women only. I actually have a gay friend who is against gay marriage for gay couples who aren't religious. His argument is that marriage is a religious ceremony traditionally for men and women; if you're gay but not religious, do you really need to get married when all the fringe benefits (taxes, wills, etc.) can be attained through a civil partnership? I would still argue that gay couples should be allowed to marry if they want to, but I respect his opinion. But then of course, if someone was against gay marriage purely because they're homophobic, then they wouldn't have my respect at all.

Similarly, I think it's possible to be pro-life without being anti-woman, although it's a fine line to tread. I don't think there's anything wrong with believing that life is sacred and that abortion is something to be avoided as much as possible. Someone who gets continually knocked up because they refuse to use contraception but don't want a baby for example, probably don't deserve the right to abortion. But then I don't think there's any way to justify not allowing a woman who has been raped or a woman who risks almost certain death by carrying a baby to labour the right to abort.

As for racism, that's never okay and no racist is ever going to earn my respect, ya know? :twocents-02cents:

 

[Just Me]

It will depend so much on what the issues are. Racist? Absolutely no respect or friendship. Sexist? If they are truly misogynists, no respect or friendship. Homophobic? No respect or friendship. It appears most of my big issues fall along the line of the protected class issues. If they discriminate, though I would say hate. If they show active hatred towards any of the protected classes I would have a difficult time respecting or being friends with them. Differing opinions on most issues that we can respectfully agree to disagree would most likely not be a big problem.

In United States anti-discrimination law, a protected class is a characteristic of a person which cannot be targeted for discrimination.[1] The following characteristics are considered "Protected Classes":
Race – Federal: Civil Rights Act of 1964
Color – Federal: Civil Rights Act of 1964
Religion – Federal: Civil Rights Act of 1964
National origin – Federal: Civil Rights Act of 1964
Age (40 and over) – Federal: Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967
Sex – Federal: Equal Pay Act of 1963 & Civil Rights Act of 1964
Familial status - Federal: Civil Rights Act of 1968 Title VIII (Housing, cannot discriminate for having children, exception for senior housing)
Disability status – Federal: Vocational Rehabilitation and Other Rehabilitation Services of 1973 & Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990
Veteran status – Federal Vietnam Era Veterans Readjustment Assistance Act of 1974
Genetic information – Federal: Genetic Information Nondiscrimination Act

 

[Shaun__]

I cannot respect someone who believes in oppressing other people, but I can tolerate them.

 

[LadyLuna]

It really depends for me...

In the south, racism is so standard that it's almost impossible for it to not creep into people. Thus, I'm more able to respect an older southern gentleman who is racist than anyone from my generation.

I can't respect anyone who deliberately closes their mind to the truth at some point. In fact, it makes me want to avoid them completely. Sometimes, that's not always possible.

I can't respect someone who is completely intolerant of a person just because the object of their scorn belongs to a specific group of people. (Groups that you can be born into and are just part of who you are, not ones that are based on an ideology. Example: being intolerant of Westboro Baptists, I can handle that. Being intolerant of geeks, jocks, men/women, goths... go away.)

I can't respect anyone who has become full of hate that they see everything through that lens.

However, I will not hate them. I try not to ridicule them unless they've personally pissed me off. I try to just change the topic. I don't always succeed, but I try.

 

[PunkInDrublic]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?

Yes? Of course?

What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?

Can't respect racists but everything else sure.

Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

Yeah Friends with plenty of people that don't have the same views as me.

 

[Anonymous]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?
What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?
Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

Yes. I have family members who are against gay marriage, abortion, etc., but they're still good, loving people who I love and respect.

I do think that if I had a racist family member (I don't think I do), that would be a problem for me. It's 2013, baby! Looking down on other races like they're something on the bottom of your shoe is ridiculous. I can't respect a person who would object to me being friends with/dating/marrying a White person, and who feels that I'm a "traitor to my race."

 

[Sunny_Sue]

It depends on the issues at hand. My views are mine, and your views are yours. Racism I can not be okay with. I have many friends who do not agree with my views and I do not agree with their views on some things. That is fine. As long as I do not have to have it thrown in my face 24/7, as I do not do to them, we are fine.

 

[BlueViolet]

I could respect someone who has a radically different opinion than mine depending on the situation, but being friends with that person would depend on the actual issue.

I have friends who are very religious, pro-choice and pro-life, who have different views on human sexuality, and many other issues we disagree on that I get along with just fine, though. There is mutual respect for each others opinions and we can debate things rationally and learn from one another.

Now, I could not be friends with someone who was against gay marriage or racist. I find those two things to be pure ignorance and unacceptable. Could I respect someone with those opinions? I still respect my great grandparents even if I entirely disagree with their views on certain things.

 

[Annvious]

I was raised mormon so obviously I have some close family members that have some very fucked up theories on life. I find it hard to be close as I could with these family members but we maintain a relationship somehow. If I was to meet someone new with these outlooks on life there is no way in hell I would give them the time of day. I save my dealings with racism/sexism and bigotry to family members only.

 

[xoScarlett_]

Great idea, Megan.

I consider myself to be socially liberal but fiscally conservative.
My older sister is lesbian and has been with her partner for
over sixteen years. They have raised my sister's first daughter
and their own five girls and are some of the best parents I know.
They live in Texas and it pisses me off so much that they can not
legally get married.

I respect everyone's opinions (save for the truly disturbed)
and will be very tactful. My boyfriend's sister and I discussed
religion yesterday. She's majorly into religion....I'm not,
to put it lightly. I pride myself on being able to handle
people's opinions that differ than mine. She's lovely
and was very nice about the whole thing, so I respect her. If someone
comes up to me saying anyone that is not straight will rot in hell, I will tell
them to fuck off. It's all about how people handle it.

But I could not be with someone that was homophobic
or did not think gay marriage should be legalized. I would
feel strongly about this even if my sister wasn't gay,
but she is and it just makes it that much more personal for me.

 

[Albert_1]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?

Absolutely! If I had to see eye to eye on everything with someone to respect them I don't think I'd respect anyone.

What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?

Pro-life maybe, depends on how hardcore they are about it. The other two no way, I have no respect for bigots.

Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

I can and am. We just don't talk about the issues we strongly disagree on.

 

[southsamurai]

Can you respect someone that has a different opinion than you?
What if it's something like they are against gay marriage, pro-life, racist, ect?
Could you ever be friends with someone that has the opposite opinion on a major issue to you?

im quoting here so i dont veer too far off on a tangent.

respect them? in all likelihood yes. tolerate them, certainly. even if it is diametrically opposed to my beliefs. mind you on some subjects we might have to agree to not discuss it around each other (gay rights, racism and other bigotry being the big ones for me). i have several associates who are pro lifers (a term i hate btw) i have a few bigoted family members, and of course i live in both the bible belt and a red state. since im a bleeding heart knee jerk liberal with a gun who happens to be of an "alternate" religion i learned a long time ago to judge and associate with people by their actions and not as much from their words.

once back in my working days i had a patient who was an evangelical preacher. anti gay marriage, anti abortion, and staunchly republican. he truly opened my eyes to what makes a person "good". despite all his beliefs he loved and treated with kindness his nephew who was absolutely flaming and open, when one of his parishoners came to him after an abortion crying he held her hands and hugged her and spoke only of forgiveness and love from god. heck we sat many a time and talked about politics (im not any one party, and im against the two party system as a whole) the harshest thing he ever said to me was that it seemed to him my votes would be rather negligible in any decision making.

my dad is an insanely dedicated republican who repeats almost verbatim everything he hears on fox news. no thought of his own, no real effort to look at the issue objectively. but he still loves me and has supported me through my fight with the government for disability. when he would drive me to appointments for it of course all he wanted to do was talk about whatever bit of soundbite he was parroting that day,which i have little patience for in general. still i listened and discussed it with respect.

it is my belief that if we reject or ignore those who think in different ways we lose a chance at self growth. sure racists and homophobes are idiots. but by hearing their drivel we at least get a chance to rethink why we feel as we do. by this we grow stronger in the logic and compassion that makes us think and feel in an open minded fashion.

okay, i veered sharply into tangentiality. sorry bout that, but respect is not something we give others because we agree with them. it is something we give because it is right.

 

[Nordling]

I cannot respect anyone who hates Italian food.

Seriously, I agree with most of the other posters. Opinions based on ignorance and hate, coupled with an unwillingness to look at one's own beliefs and opinions critically, I cannot tolerate. I cannot tolerate anyone who cannot tolerate me. Conversely, it they arrived at their opinions honestly and don't realize that they're based on ignorance and hate, but are otherwise swell people, I would spend as much time with them as I could trying to just get them to look inward.

 

[rexcode]

I cannot respect anyone who hates Italian food.

I gotta quote the great comedian George Miller on that:

"The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you're hungry again."

 

[AllisonWilder]

What a great thread!

Okay, so personally I'm pro-choice and for the longest time I didn't respect/couldn't tolerate pro-lifers, but that view has shifted and I am now able to interact with and respect people that are pro-life, so long as they don't go harassing people that are pro-choice. Having a strong opinion against abortion is just fine, being awful to those that disagree with your beliefs is not fine.

I don't personally care who gets married and who doesn't as long as I don't have to go to the wedding, so I have a pretty hard time respecting people that get worked up about gay marriage because unless you're part of that couple, it just doesn't pertain to you and there's no reason to even concern yourself with what other people are doing.

I make exceptions for my older family because they were raised in an entirely different generation where viewpoints were significantly different, we just don't discuss heated issues.

I never tolerate/respect racist people.

 

[JickyJuly]

I respect them as living creatures, but if someone is hateful or thinks that their beliefs or opinions should come before the rights of others we're NOT going to be friends. I'm not good at biting my tongue. While I don't think I have all the answers, I know for a fact that restricting the rights of others, encouraging patriarchal society and being cruel are wrong. It doesn't interest me to be around people who can't at least see that.

That said, my husband is Christian, pro-life, enjoys patriarchy and leans toward the right. I think God exists in blades of grass, would prefer anarchy, think women should have the right to do whatever they want with their bodies and consider myself a sex positive feminist. We don't bash each other too much for differing on serious issues. So, I guess the WAY a person presents their viewpoints is a major factor as well.

Sidenote I find that I am MUCH more willing to spend time with women whose opinions I dislike than men. Is this true for anyone else?

 

[AllisonWilder]

Sidenote I find that I am MUCH more willing to spend time with women whose opinions I dislike than men. Is this true for anyone else?

It's definitely true for me, especially when it comes to pro-life/pro-choice.

 

[mynameisbob84]

I have an incredibly high tolerance for nearly every kink and fetish known to mankind. Pedophilia (as long as it doesn't actually affect anybody), cannibalism, scat play, pretty much the most offensive things you can probably think up, I will not judge or condemn or be offended.

I've always kinda felt bad for pedophiles. I mean, not the ones who actually act on their sexual urges; I have no sympathy for them at all. But the ones who find themselves with sexual desires they never asked for, and who suppress those urges. I once saw a documentary about a guy who was abused as a child and then later in life became more and more aroused by the thought of pedophilia. So to suppress those urges and to make sure he never, ever acted on them, he arranged to have himself castrated. I actually thought that was kinda heroic.

And just to be clear, I'm in no way condoning active pedophilia. Going so far as to... do what pedophiles do, just to satisfy their sexual cravings is pretty much the most selfish thing in the world. But I do empathise with those who have developed those cravings and who have the decency to not act on them.

 

[Brad]

I have respected people with different opinions from mine for years now. I have some crazy opinions on stuff and much of it does not follow along certain lines like political agendas as an example or even religious beliefs. So it would be rare to ever find someone who would agree with me on everything or maybe even a majority of stuff. I'm used to it and it doesn't bother me at all. I enjoy my uniqueness!

Now if the discussion is disliking people then I have always said that I am not prejudiced, I hate everyone equally! But honestly there are very few people I can't stand. I have good gut instincts when meeting people too. Usually I'll know quickly if we will get along or not. But even then I really don't dislike someone unless given cause. You kind of really have to work at it for me to dislike you. Most of the time it's more ambivalence then an actual dislike. (and yes I have discovered while typing this that I don't like using the actual word hate)

A person can say all kinds of things but actions do speak much louder then words. And what a person does is usually more important to me anyway. Their actions is where most of my respect comes from.
:twocents-02cents:

 

[ThePioneer]

I have no problem respecting/tolerating other peoples beliefs so long as there's mutual respect, you can defend your beliefs intelligently, and your beliefs don't impede my way of life. I actually like hearing other peoples opinions on various topics. If everyone agreed with me, life would be very boring.

In my experience, it has more to due with the person, rather than the topic. A childhood friend of mine decided that she was going to become a 'hardcore' vegan after leaving for college and shortly thereafter refused to associate with anyone who wasn't vegan, including all of her friends and family. It blew my mind that in less than a year I could go from being a good person in her eyes to being the equivalent of Hitler(her words not mine) simply because I eat meat. While I have absolutely no problem with vegans, hell I love vegan food and get along just fine with every other vegan that I've met, I have absolutely no respect for her opinions/beliefs.