Burry my nose in my work

[Poker_Babe]

Sorry if this is kinda depressing, but this forum is pretty much the only place I can go to vent about stuff that is related to my cam modeling job.

So I just checked my facebook account tonight after not logging on in quite some time. I only did so, because I needed to send a thank you message to my aunt for sending me a birthday package. Then it struck me that I used to check my FB several times a day, but lately it seems that I check my MFC mail & ACF several times a day and avoid FB. When I logged on, I then realized why it was I had been avoiding FB so much but constantly in MFC/ACF all the time now...
My aunt (my mom's sister) has been posting pic after pictures upon pictures of my mommy who just recently passed away on my FB wall. I love the pics don't get me wrong. A lot of them I had never even seen before. But when I see them, reality sets in again that she's gone and never coming back. I was all ready to get on cam right after I sending my aunt a thank you message via FB, but now I'm all sad. I've really been blocking all of this out big time lately. And drowning out my sorrow by keeping my focus on my work. But now I'm concerned that I'm not letting myself grieve properly. Hell, I'm still not over my husband dying. And when I think about my mother, I also start to think about J.J. (my husband). Then all the time I spent doing my eye make up has gone to waste from the flood of tears that follows.
IDK, I guess I'm kinda' rambling now. Can anyone relate to what I'm talking about? Can anyone offer any words of advice?

 

[Jupiter551]

I feel for you, I don't know what advice to give as I haven't had to deal with something like this yet.

I'm not surprised though that being bombarded with photos and memories just makes the grief more acute.

 

[Paris_Lee]

i had a very traumatizing experinace last november. i wont bother posting what here, however you know the facebook thing that pops up sometimes on the side of the page where it says"this day in 2010"? yeah i used ad blocker to block it. i hate that feature. i dont like being reminded of such terrible things and i posted a lot about it last year all month as a way to cope.

sometimes the internet can be more hurtful then helpful. /hug

 

[Rosemary]

Ditto. I don't think grief is one of those things you can predict. Sometimes it is short and sweet, other times it is a long process that takes more time to sort through.

Something to keep in the back of your mind is how you're going to celebrate their lives. Earn good money and live well, take care of yourself, and thank the stars you had such love! I am certain they would want you to prosper and be strong, but still miss and love them.

 

[RedHerby1]

No idea if its possible, but maybe you can take a visit to your aunt, and ask her to tell the stories behind those photos. Its her sister and your mother, you both can benefit from a talk like that.