Birthday Etiquette

[FelixTheCat]

I have another etiquette related question and this is for both cam girls and cam viewers.

I have a plan in mind that I want to tip a very large amount on a birthday of someone I follow.

First, I did read the thread on promises. Even though I read it, I didn't really need to. I am a fan of surprises. A surprise is worth so much more as the person won't even know it's coming. It's possible with a birthday they might expect a better time, but they still won't know exactly what will happen. So you won't have to worry about me making promises. That will not happen, but I want to be prepared so I'm asking the people here at ACF who have given me a ton of great answers.

Without delaying further, the question is how do I make a large tip? Assuming she has a show on her birthday, I would like to tip while she is on cam. When is a good time to do that though? If you tip large at the beginning, maybe that sets the wrong mood for the room where other tippers shy away? Do you tip at the end after the show when everything is said and done before she leaves?

With regards to tipping near the end, that leaves the possibility that say someone else tips large. It is a birthday after all. What is the proper etiquette in that situation? Do I still tip in the room or should I maybe move my tip to just so she sees it? Does it depend on when the other tip comes in? If they tip in the middle, maybe it's okay for me to tip at the end, but if they tip at the end should I keep the tip quiet?

What about spreading it out in a fun way? For example, what if instead of tipping 16383 tokens I tip slowly tip and every time double the amount? For example, (1, 2, 4, 8 ... 8192). If I say stop at 8192, that's 16383 tokens. Is it better to tip the 16383 tokens in a large lump sum or spread it over the show in a fun way? If I had to guess, I imagine large sum is much more of a surprise? (Note, the numbers I used are just examples).

Note, if I were to tip the large amount I would still tip throughout the show, just not with such increasing numbers.

I apologize for the long read. I'm curious on what to do in this situation. I don't want to upset room dynamics and tip at the wrong time. I'm also asking a fair bit in advance. As you all know, life can sometimes get in the way. If I prepare early, there is less chance of life getting in the way. While I'm not making promises, I would be letting myself down if I don't prepare.

 

[AmberCutie]

These suggestions are completely based off of my personal experience and feelings and opinions!

It's possible with a birthday they might expect a better time, but they still won't know exactly what will happen.

It's true. We models, while we won't come right out and say it in a blatant way, really DO hope that the show we do on our birthday is better than a usual shift. We girlies love to be treated sweetly, and even spoiled, even if we don't admit it outright...

Do you tip at the end after the show when everything is said and done before she leaves?

I'd say feel it out, if she's having a seemingly quiet/struggling portion of her cam time, maybe that would be a good opportunity to completely turn her mood around. But I'll say having a very large tip toward the end of an already pretty successful cam session is really exciting. It happened on my birthday this year and it made for a super ending to my day.

Do I still tip in the room or should I maybe move my tip to just so she sees it?

I think tipping so the room can see sets a good precedent and example to others that it's a GOOD thing to drop bombs on special occasions. But if you'd rather not show off or have it be known that you spend such amounts, obviously keeping it ninja is up to you.

Is it better to tip the 16383 tokens in a large lump sum or spread it over the show in a fun way?

Note, if I were to tip the large amount I would still tip throughout the show, just not with such increasing numbers.

I think a big bomb is the most exciting on a special occasion. Obviously the fact that you'll tip smaller frequent amounts throughout the show PLUS a bomb is the ultimate awesomeness.

I hope you have a super fun time with your surprise! She will love it, regardless of how you proceed.

 

[dilligaf0]

What Amber said.
The only thing I can add ( or just expand on) is to play things by ear. See how the night goes, and just wing it on the timing.
The only exception would be if she's having a bad / quiet night and it seems to be getting her down, that's the time to cheer her up with the tip.

 

[FayePotato]

I'm a fairly new model, and started camming right after my birthday, so I haven't had a birthday celebration on cam yet and won't for a quite a while. However I'll still offer my personal opinion, and how I'd feel if it were my birthday coming up. (I also agree with everything Amber said, as usual)

When I first started reading your post, I was thinking "a huge tip is a huge tip, when/how you give it shouldn't matter" but after reading the whole thing, I realized you actually have a point and the timing could potentially make a huge difference.

I'm a low-camscore model, and my highest-ever tip is something like 430 tokens, so again I don't really have much experience to go off of here. I'd say that if her birthday show seems to be going really well, and she's getting lots of tips, the timing of your big ol' bomb might not make as big of a difference. (NOT that your tip won't make a difference, just the timing, I mean.) If it's near the end of the show though it might surprise her more, especially if you've been tipping throughout the night in smaller amounts.
If it seems a bit slow though, and maybe not going as well as she might have hoped (this is more my area of expertise lol) then maybe surprising her with it earlier in the night would be best. I can't say how it would affect the other tippers (though I'd hope it would encourage them to be more generous, too), but it would definitely make her feel better about the rest of the night. That way even if it's kind of slow, she won't feel as disappointed about how thing are going.

In my personal experience, on the days I received an offline tip before getting on cam or a few decent tips near the beginning of my shift, I felt a lot better about the night even if it went really slowly. I'd be happier on cam and not as stressed about my camscore, knowing that I'd already made something and the night wasn't a waste. Alternately, if I get on cam and it's not going well, I'll stay online hoping things will get better but also worrying about how my camscore will be affected if they don't.

Most of this probably won't apply to a more popular model with decent traffic, but I hope I provided at least a little insight.
In any case she'll be super happy, so there's really no wrong way to go about it!

 

[JubalCobb]

I think you're overthinking things quite a bit. I do this too.

A single bomb is awesome. But in my opinion you've got to have enough funds to have some fun tipping the rest of the shift also.
Tipping games are fun (sequential, matching, whatever) is fun, but I dont think it fits in the birthday.

If she's turning 23 a wall of 23s needs to occur of course, with everyone not just you.
23, 230,2300,23000 is another nice sequence (if you can afford it

When I've done a big birthday tip, I wait for the regulars to arrive. all the usual greetings out of the way. things may even be starting to slow down a little bit around an hour into the shift. Thats when I drop it. Her room size, and how the room normally works is another factor to consider.

Wait to long, and the shift could go sideways. she could get grumpy about no one tipping or talking.

Personally I think making your tip ninja just because someone else dropped a bomb first is kinda weird. Just wait an appropriate amount of time to not step on their moment and tip. (this would be another reason waiting to tip at the end is really bad idea).
I dont typically send it to model only. I know some guys things public tipping sends message that tipping will be taken care of by you alone. I wouldn't let that effect my fun. But you do what you want.

Oh, and I should mention. Sadly even if you ask her ahead of time if she's working on her birthday, and you then take time off work for it, she may not be there. In my opinion if she doesn't work on her birthday, swallow your disappointment and tip the money another time. that's just my opinion. but dont work on birthday, dont get birthday gift.

Hope some of that helped. I know I got kinda lengthy.

ps I was hoping this would also include etiquette for models when members have a birthday.
PlayboyMegan singing "happy birthday mr president" was a favorite of mine

 

[Azhrarn]

Large tippers, or tippers in general, aren’t going to shy away on birthdays, though it might be true that many large tips right at the start might discourage smaller tips. But then again, does it really matter?

I really don’t understand why you would care about someone else’s tips on a model’s birthday though. The tipping is supposed to be about the model, not about you. And the more people that join in, the more fun it is for everyone involved.

Tipping in unexpected ways is always fun, but on a birthday it would be even more fun to have several people coordinate their tips.

What I once did for a model I really liked, since she didn’t have a room helper, I took it upon myself to organize a birthday show for her. I contacted all of her oldest supporters and biggest tippers, and organized things so that everyone tipped in sequence with a certain message.

 

[FelixTheCat]

These suggestions are completely based off of my personal experience and feelings and opinions!

It's true. We models, while we won't come right out and say it in a blatant way, really DO hope that the show we do on our birthday is better than a usual shift. We girlies love to be treated sweetly, and even spoiled, even if we don't admit it outright...

I'd say feel it out, if she's having a seemingly quiet/struggling portion of her cam time, maybe that would be a good opportunity to completely turn her mood around. But I'll say having a very large tip toward the end of an already pretty successful cam session is really exciting. It happened on my birthday this year and it made for a super ending to my day.

I think tipping so the room can see sets a good precedent and example to others that it's a GOOD thing to drop bombs on special occasions. But if you'd rather not show off or have it be known that you spend such amounts, obviously keeping it ninja is up to you.



I think a big bomb is the most exciting on a special occasion. Obviously the fact that you'll tip smaller frequent amounts throughout the show PLUS a bomb is the ultimate awesomeness.

I hope you have a super fun time with your surprise! She will love it, regardless of how you proceed.

Tipping large when slow is a good idea. I would hope that it would liven up the room. I definitely don't want to hide the tip. That comment about hiding is mainly about if it's considered rude to tip large after someone else has done so. Especially if that person is a long time regular. I'm not familiar if that sort of thing really matters.

What Amber said.
The only thing I can add ( or just expand on) is to play things by ear. See how the night goes, and just wing it on the timing.
The only exception would be if she's having a bad / quiet night and it seems to be getting her down, that's the time to cheer her up with the tip.

Playing by ear seems like the smart idea from what I've been reading in these replies. Try to tip when there is a big lull or if she's down. I have to remember that.

I'm a fairly new model, and started camming right after my birthday, so I haven't had a birthday celebration on cam yet and won't for a quite a while. However I'll still offer my personal opinion, and how I'd feel if it were my birthday coming up. (I also agree with everything Amber said, as usual)

When I first started reading your post, I was thinking "a huge tip is a huge tip, when/how you give it shouldn't matter" but after reading the whole thing, I realized you actually have a point and the timing could potentially make a huge difference.

I'm a low-camscore model, and my highest-ever tip is something like 430 tokens, so again I don't really have much experience to go off of here. I'd say that if her birthday show seems to be going really well, and she's getting lots of tips, the timing of your big ol' bomb might not make as big of a difference. (NOT that your tip won't make a difference, just the timing, I mean.) If it's near the end of the show though it might surprise her more, especially if you've been tipping throughout the night in smaller amounts.
If it seems a bit slow though, and maybe not going as well as she might have hoped (this is more my area of expertise lol) then maybe surprising her with it earlier in the night would be best. I can't say how it would affect the other tippers (though I'd hope it would encourage them to be more generous, too), but it would definitely make her feel better about the rest of the night. That way even if it's kind of slow, she won't feel as disappointed about how thing are going.

In my personal experience, on the days I received an offline tip before getting on cam or a few decent tips near the beginning of my shift, I felt a lot better about the night even if it went really slowly. I'd be happier on cam and not as stressed about my camscore, knowing that I'd already made something and the night wasn't a waste. Alternately, if I get on cam and it's not going well, I'll stay online hoping things will get better but also worrying about how my camscore will be affected if they don't.

Most of this probably won't apply to a more popular model with decent traffic, but I hope I provided at least a little insight.
In any case she'll be super happy, so there's really no wrong way to go about it!

Thank you for your input! Everyone seems to be in agreement to tip when you feel it's going slow. I definitely do want to keep the surprise aspect as high as possible so that is going to be key. I feel people are much more genuinely happy when they don't have a clue.

I think you're overthinking things quite a bit. I do this too.

A single bomb is awesome. But in my opinion you've got to have enough funds to have some fun tipping the rest of the shift also.
Tipping games are fun (sequential, matching, whatever) is fun, but I dont think it fits in the birthday.

If she's turning 23 a wall of 23s needs to occur of course, with everyone not just you.
23, 230,2300,23000 is another nice sequence (if you can afford it

When I've done a big birthday tip, I wait for the regulars to arrive. all the usual greetings out of the way. things may even be starting to slow down a little bit around an hour into the shift. Thats when I drop it. Her room size, and how the room normally works is another factor to consider.

Wait to long, and the shift could go sideways. she could get grumpy about no one tipping or talking.

Personally I think making your tip ninja just because someone else dropped a bomb first is kinda weird. Just wait an appropriate amount of time to not step on their moment and tip. (this would be another reason waiting to tip at the end is really bad idea).
I dont typically send it to model only. I know some guys things public tipping sends message that tipping will be taken care of by you alone. I wouldn't let that effect my fun. But you do what you want.

Oh, and I should mention. Sadly even if you ask her ahead of time if she's working on her birthday, and you then take time off work for it, she may not be there. In my opinion if she doesn't work on her birthday, swallow your disappointment and tip the money another time. that's just my opinion. but dont work on birthday, dont get birthday gift.

Hope some of that helped. I know I got kinda lengthy.

ps I was hoping this would also include etiquette for models when members have a birthday.
PlayboyMegan singing "happy birthday mr president" was a favorite of mine

That is an awesome idea. Using the age in a tipping pattern is a perfect idea for birthday activity. I really do like that idea better than the example I gave. Getting a feel for the regulars and their timing will be something I'll have to pay attention to.

It's also a good point on why waiting might not work. Saving it for late might create more situations of potential awkwardness.

If she doesn't work on her birthday I'd have to decide on the action. I think I would wait for the next day to see if I could drop a belated tip and if not I'd do it offline that night. I don't really have an expectation of her working on her birthday. If she's busy having fun with friends and what not, then I am happy for her.

Large tippers, or tippers in general, aren’t going to shy away on birthdays, though it might be true that many large tips right at the start might discourage smaller tips. But then again, does it really matter?

I really don’t understand why you would care about someone else’s tips on a model’s birthday though. The tipping is supposed to be about the model, not about you. And the more people that join in, the more fun it is for everyone involved.

Tipping in unexpected ways is always fun, but on a birthday it would be even more fun to have several people coordinate their tips.

What I once did for a model I really liked, since she didn’t have a room helper, I took it upon myself to organize a birthday show for her. I contacted all of her oldest supporters and biggest tippers, and organized things so that everyone tipped in sequence with a certain message.

It's not that I care about someone else's tips, it's the model I'm concerned about. If a regular tips a large amount (even a non-regular) and you tip more immediately after, she might feel like you upstaged on purpose and she might not like that. That's what I was getting at with my question.

Good idea on the coordination before hand. That's something I can inquire about and see what usually happens. If nothing, maybe I can take charge. If something, I can join in.

 

[Azhrarn]

It's not that I care about someone else's tips, it's the model I'm concerned about. If a regular tips a large amount (even a non-regular) and you tip more immediately after, she might feel like you upstaged on purpose and she might not like that. That's what I was getting at with my question.

Good idea on the coordination before hand. That's something I can inquire about and see what usually happens. If nothing, maybe I can take charge. If something, I can join in.

Sometimes people tip in quick succession. It happens. If you can, just wait a decent interval as someone else has already suggested (just wait for the room to quiet down). It only becomes a problem if it's habitual. Sadly, there are some models, perhaps a majority, who wouldn't care. In my opinion, it drives other tippers out of the room. In the past I would have said tip ninja if someone in the room likes to upstage others. Now I say leave the room. If a model allows that kind of behavior in her room, forget her.

As for organizing a show, contact the room helper. If she doesn't have one, find out who her biggest supporter is (the guys who have been in the room the longest or tip the most will usually have an idea). Those people are the ones who would have the most authority to get others in line and cooperate.

 

[Jimmy9]

I wouldn't worry too much about tipping after someone else, as long as it's not right after. Just wait a minute or two and you're fine. I think it's actually fun for a model to get a few large tips in a row. I guess it depends on how much of a difference there is between the tips though, if someone tips 500 tokens and says happy birthday, then you tip 5000 you might look like a bit of a jerk.

Also, if the model is doing a countdown and you want to do a big tip, I would suggest either waiting for the count to be done or clear the count right away. Otherwise your tip will have less of an impact.

 

[dilligaf0]

I have also seen people sneak a large tip into a tip wall of small tips by others in the room.
5 people tip 5 tokens each, sneak in a tip of 50, the more tip 5 each. (you'll be able to judge when is best.
That's another option as a build-up to your mega tip.
Again, just play it by ear. Every room and every night is different.

 

[TacoBelle]

This is just my opinion, but if she has a game like "pop the balloons for a prize," and you already know you're gonna tip your whole shebang, please don't tip it and try to spend every token on the game. Because she'll be ecstatic, but you'll end up taking all of the balloons so other tippers won't want to tip anymore. They won't have a reason to tip, except as a just because. If you want to play her balloon game, take a few hundred/thousand, and play a few times so that you have fun, then tip the remainder as a big just-because tip.

She'll appreciate it a lot more, and plus the game is still available for other tippers to try.

 

[AmberCutie]

This is just my opinion, but if she has a game like "pop the balloons for a prize," and you already know you're gonna tip your whole shebang, please don't tip it and try to spend every token on the game. Because she'll be ecstatic, but you'll end up taking all of the balloons so other tippers won't want to tip anymore. They won't have a reason to tip, except as a just because. If you want to play her balloon game, take a few hundred/thousand, and play a few times so that you have fun, then tip the remainder as a big just-because tip.

She'll appreciate it a lot more, and plus the game is still available for other tippers to try.

There are so many agree ratings on this because YES YES YES!

There's a reason I have to put notes like "one per person per day!" on my games. I love that my regulars enjoy my games, but 90% of the prizes in them are geared towards newcomers to inspire them to participate. If you adore your model and want to help with her goals, tip once for the game and the rest just because if you want to help her maximize her success.

 

[FayePotato]

^ A million times yes. Once in a while, I'll get someone who will clear the rest of my countdown in one tip, but then want 20 dice rolls (or whatever game I'm playing) for it. Like, I'm super happy my countdown has been cleared, but now I have to do all these small prizes in a row for one person and it feels kinda silly. Especially the time that the countdown he finished was for an oil show, but before I could do it I had to roll my d20 20 times and then fulfill all the prizes (most of which were little things like spanks or doodling on me). If you're going to drop a big tip, just do that. If you want to play the game, do that. Doing both kinda takes the fun out of it (imo).

 

[Shaun__]

A model got mad at me for clearing her entire game in a single tip once, but I saw that all of the prizes were worth more that the game would cost would cost me. I do not think there is anything wrong with the occasional big tip that is just for yourself, in moderation. Many models are big on the tip if you love me stuff, but they usually do not love you back.

However the largest single amount of money I ever spent at a single time was for a model's birthday though. The results of that were questionable in the long run, the model complained later about feelings of obligation that may or may not have been at least partially related to that. Greedy tipping has never caused me that problem.

 

[FelixTheCat]

I have also seen people sneak a large tip into a tip wall of small tips by others in the room.
5 people tip 5 tokens each, sneak in a tip of 50, the more tip 5 each. (you'll be able to judge when is best.
That's another option as a build-up to your mega tip.
Again, just play it by ear. Every room and every night is different.

That's another good idea! I now plan on asking other regulars if anything usually happens. If nothing occurs and no one wants to join in I'll be taking in to consideration all these great ideas to see what to do.

This is just my opinion, but if she has a game like "pop the balloons for a prize," and you already know you're gonna tip your whole shebang, please don't tip it and try to spend every token on the game. Because she'll be ecstatic, but you'll end up taking all of the balloons so other tippers won't want to tip anymore. They won't have a reason to tip, except as a just because. If you want to play her balloon game, take a few hundred/thousand, and play a few times so that you have fun, then tip the remainder as a big just-because tip.

She'll appreciate it a lot more, and plus the game is still available for other tippers to try.

I couldn't agree more with everyone. If I do end up doing a big tip (I now plan on taking the advice and asking other regulars what usually happens and go from there) it will be for nothing. Regardless of any games going on or deals/offers, it will be a just because tip. I completely agree that it would be ridiculous to buy up a game. It would ruin the fun of the night for sure. Thanks for pointing this out.