Being a Camgirl With "Performance Issues"

[Cr33pyKi77y]

So I have this problem where I can't really cum when anyone is watching me. Even with my boyfriend's eyes on me I struggle to let go and orgasm. I've also noticed my antidepressants and birth control have both negatively effected my libido, and I'm also built small if you know what I mean. So insertion is pretty much impossible when I'm on cam because the only thing I can generally use comfortably is the back end of a thick sharpie marker but Chaturbate doesn't allow the use of things other than sex toys for insertion. I know that most people would logically not choose to be a camgirl with these issues, but it's really helping me with social anxiety, my low self esteem, and it's getting me to socialize more and be able to brighten people's days. I don't want to stop camming, but I'm not exactly sure how I can make it worth everyone's while if I can't do anal play, or vaginal insertion, or orgasm on cam. I'm very new to this world so I'm not sure what types of shows others do, but I'm worried that it'll be impossible for me to succeed with all of my problems :/ Do you think I could still get by with these barriers or would I be better off relying primarily on manyvids/panty sales?

 

[Guy]

You don't have to masturbate on cam if you don't want to. Not all models masturbate on cam.

 

[Cr33pyKi77y]

You don't have to masturbate on cam if you don't want to. Not all models masturbate on cam.

I know, I just feel like I'm not going to be very interesting if I do what I want to do. I have many people who come into my room and try to order me around, and I've just started to worry that nobody likes what I can put out there :/ There's a few regulars who really like coming back and talking to me, but idk maybe it's just my perfectionism telling me I'm not doing well. I guess it's just hard for me to find other ways of staying involved and entertaining because I see so many girls doing cumshows and having hundreds or thousands of viewers while lately I've had somewhere between 10-30. These issues are also issues I've had for years, so I guess I'm just very sensitive about them to begin with, as they impact my sex life too.

 

[SaffronBurke]

If you WANT to use insertables, Tantus makes some VERY thin toys - the Silk Small is about as thick as a finger, and under 5" long. The Warm Up is of a similar size, but with a g-spot bulb on the tip. It's also an option to use just a clitoral vibrator - the Magic Wand is popular, or if you prefer something smaller, the We-vibe Tango or Touch are small, powerful, and rechargeable.

For every girl who has genuine orgasms on cam, there's one who fakes it, and the average viewer really won't be able to tell the difference, provided the faked orgasm isn't over the top like some of the tip-activated vibe reactions.

You can also do non-explicit shows - tease, oil, lotion, domme people, the possibilities are endless.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

Think of camming as this: a performance for the most part.

Sure, having orgasms on cam is awesome because who doesn't like cumming but I promise you a lot of guys won't notice the difference. There are guys who believe girls are having earth shattering, seizure like orgasms over omibods after all xD Or guys who want to argue that I didn't cum for real when I actually did since I didn't squirt and make a huge wet mess. All in all, you can work around everything. In my experience with camming, SO many members weren't even into seeing me actually cum as much as they like to see me do something else like ass shaking, fingering or dildo blow jobs. Orgasms probably make up like 20% of my camming time if at all. There is so much you can do that doesn't involve cumming or huge insertables so don't write off camming just yet.

 

[Mila_]

So I have this problem where I can't really cum when anyone is watching me. I don't want to stop camming, but I'm not exactly sure how I can make it worth everyone's while if I can't do anal play, or vaginal insertion, or orgasm on cam.

Sounds like you love camming and it has had a positive effect on your life. Luckily for you, there are many ways to be entertaining without doing any explicit shows. You could have your cake and eat it too because you could focus your show on the things you enjoy and avoid the ones you don't entirely. Don't worry about offering something worthwhile. Believe me, if they want to see someone do a cum show they have 100000s of rooms to visit. It is better to be yourself and enjoy what you are doing, fans will follow.

I know, I just feel like I'm not going to be very interesting if I do what I want to do. I have many people who come into my room and try to order me around, and I've just started to worry that nobody likes what I can put out there :/

You will never know what works for you unless you try! So why don't you do exactly what you want to do and see where it leads you? Oh, and ban the demanding people who boss you around. Aint nobody got time fo dat

 

[Cr33pyKi77y]

If you WANT to use insertables, Tantus makes some VERY thin toys - the Silk Small is about as thick as a finger, and under 5" long. The Warm Up is of a similar size, but with a g-spot bulb on the tip. It's also an option to use just a clitoral vibrator - the Magic Wand is popular, or if you prefer something smaller, the We-vibe Tango or Touch are small, powerful, and rechargeable.

Thank you so much! I didn't know they made smaller insertion toys. I'll definitely look into those! I got myself a suction cup dildo and it's way too large for me. My bf loves it though ahaha so at least it's getting some use!

Think of camming as this: a performance for the most part.

Sure, having orgasms on cam is awesome because who doesn't like cumming but I promise you a lot of guys won't notice the difference. There are guys who believe girls are having earth shattering, seizure like orgasms over omibods after all xD Or guys who want to argue that I didn't cum for real when I actually did since I didn't squirt and make a huge wet mess. All in all, you can work around everything. In my experience with camming, SO many members weren't even into seeing me actually cum as much as they like to see me do something else like ass shaking, fingering or dildo blow jobs. Orgasms probably make up like 20% of my camming time if at all. There is so much you can do that doesn't involve cumming or huge insertables so don't write off camming just yet.

Thank you! Yeah I guess that's true. I just got a bit upset because it seemed like most others were doing cum shows and I was worried what I was doing was "wrong".

Sounds like you love camming and it has had a positive effect on your life. Luckily for you, there are many ways to be entertaining without doing any explicit shows. You could have your cake and eat it too because you could focus your show on the things you enjoy and avoid the ones you don't entirely. Don't worry about offering something worthwhile. Believe me, if they want to see someone do a cum show they have 100000s of rooms to visit. It is better to be yourself and enjoy what you are doing, fans will follow.



You will never know what works for you unless you try! So why don't you do exactly what you want to do and see where it leads you? Oh, and ban the demanding people who boss you around. Aint nobody got time fo dat

Thank you as well, I do have some regulars who don't mind what I'm doing, they mostly enjoy chatting with me. That's what I prefer but I'm also just one of those people who compares themselves to others, which I really need to stop doing!

 

[Mira_xo]

Look, you're putting on a show, sure it's nice when it's enjoyable, but everyone has days when they don't "feel" it. I cum pretty easy so I don't really experience the same problems, but if I'm not into masturbating I think it's noticeable, so I do other shows like oil shows or just chatty days when I feel that way.

But if you feel like you are never going to cum on cam, then fake it. I am almost genuinely sure that the girls that look like they're falling into an epileptic seizure from a single tip on their OhMiBod are faking it, and guys love that sh*t.

You definitely don't need to feel like you have to do cumshows. There are a lot of successful non nude models. You don't have to insert things to have a good cumshow either. Try vibrators, fingers, anal stuff, breast play, pillow humping, etc. If you're up for it. I work on MFC so I don't know how strict CB is on rules, but over here I think sharpies are fine, especially if that's the only way you can cum.

 

[Guy]

Do you have difficulty having orgasms outside of camming?

 

[Princess FeeFee]

I am non-explicit so I have never done a cumshow on cam and I'm doing ok, many many other non-nude and non-explicit models are doing great. Even if I did cumshows, I am 100% sure I would ALWAYS have to fake, because there's no way I can orgasm with people watching me, I have never been able to have orgasm while having sex either (I think my body thinks that sex and orgasms are two different, unrelated things lol). Only way I can orgasm is by myself in the room, watching porn xD I can't even do it while my boyfriend just watches me! Anyways, I just wanted to say - don't feel bad because you can't do a certain thing that seemingly everyone but you can do, I assure you that's not the case! Do what you enjoy doing, you will be happier on cam so your fans will enjoy watching you more

 

[Cr33pyKi77y]

Look, you're putting on a show, sure it's nice when it's enjoyable, but everyone has days when they don't "feel" it. I cum pretty easy so I don't really experience the same problems, but if I'm not into masturbating I think it's noticeable, so I do other shows like oil shows or just chatty days when I feel that way.

But if you feel like you are never going to cum on cam, then fake it. I am almost genuinely sure that the girls that look like they're falling into an epileptic seizure from a single tip on their OhMiBod are faking it, and guys love that sh*t.

You definitely don't need to feel like you have to do cumshows. There are a lot of successful non nude models. You don't have to insert things to have a good cumshow either. Try vibrators, fingers, anal stuff, breast play, pillow humping, etc. If you're up for it. I work on MFC so I don't know how strict CB is on rules, but over here I think sharpies are fine, especially if that's the only way you can cum.

Thank you! Yeah maybe I'd do better with the non-nude side of things. Honestly I am so new to all of this, I didn't know you could be non-nude and be successful so I kinda felt like I had to do something a little out of my comfort zone. I was thinking about checking out MFC anyway because I've heard you can do gaming on there and not get in trouble, whereas people say on Chaturbate you can get hit with copyright issues or something.

Do you have difficulty having orgasms outside of camming?

Not if I'm alone and watching porn, but for some reason I can't orgasm unless I'm watching porn alone or having sex. During sex I probably only orgasm like 10% of the time though. I think my anxiety is a big part of that, because I find it hard to relax around other people.

I am non-explicit so I have never done a cumshow on cam and I'm doing ok, many many other non-nude and non-explicit models are doing great. Even if I did cumshows, I am 100% sure I would ALWAYS have to fake, because there's no way I can orgasm with people watching me, I have never been able to have orgasm while having sex either (I think my body thinks that sex and orgasms are two different, unrelated things lol). Only way I can orgasm is by myself in the room, watching porn xD I can't even do it while my boyfriend just watches me! Anyways, I just wanted to say - don't feel bad because you can't do a certain thing that seemingly everyone but you can do, I assure you that's not the case! Do what you enjoy doing, you will be happier on cam so your fans will enjoy watching you more

Yeah honestly I can have amazing sex and still not orgasm, but like it makes me feel amazing psychologically if that makes any sense? And yeah I can only do it by myself and my bf can't watch either! I'm so glad I'm not the only one. Makes me feel less guilty lol. I'd really like to explore non-nude modeling I think, because it seems like I'd feel a lot more comfortable that way c:

 

[AerynShade]

When I was a baby cam girl I felt I needed to do cum shows like everyone else. And I hated it. I'm like you, if I'm alone I can orgasm very quickly, but add someone else to the party and nope, not likely to happen. So I faked all my cum shows, but felt weird doing it. Finally I decided to not offer them at all. I get naked, I do fetish and femdom shows/clips instead. And I'm so much happier for it.
I can film masturbation clips, but don't because I find them to be horribly boring. I have an easier time acting like I'm getting off on vacuuming up crushed cigarettes than I do when I masturbate for others. If you feel more comfy masturbating in clips, make it a clips-only thing. You can still strip and entertain on live cam, but direct guys to your clips if they want a cum show.

Embrace the things you really do enjoy. Yes, this is a job, and you won't absolutely love every aspect. But forcing yourself to do things that stress you out will only make you burn out. Find your niche.

 

[Phoenix4987]

It's really helping me with social anxiety, my low self esteem, and it's getting me to socialize more and be able to brighten people's days. I don't want to stop camming[/QUOTE]

Boom. Most important part. You're the boss girl. Do the things that make you feel good and ban anyone who wants to kill your vibe or push your limits. I really hope you're able to stick to camming if it's this positive and meaningful for you.

Edit:blame my phone and awesome deleting skills for not being able to quote properly hah.

 

[Cr33pyKi77y]

When I was a baby cam girl I felt I needed to do cum shows like everyone else. And I hated it. I'm like you, if I'm alone I can orgasm very quickly, but add someone else to the party and nope, not likely to happen. So I faked all my cum shows, but felt weird doing it. Finally I decided to not offer them at all. I get naked, I do fetish and femdom shows/clips instead. And I'm so much happier for it.
I can film masturbation clips, but don't because I find them to be horribly boring. I have an easier time acting like I'm getting off on vacuuming up crushed cigarettes than I do when I masturbate for others. If you feel more comfy masturbating in clips, make it a clips-only thing. You can still strip and entertain on live cam, but direct guys to your clips if they want a cum show.

Embrace the things you really do enjoy. Yes, this is a job, and you won't absolutely love every aspect. But forcing yourself to do things that stress you out will only make you burn out. Find your niche.

It's really helping me with social anxiety, my low self esteem, and it's getting me to socialize more and be able to brighten people's days. I don't want to stop camming

Boom. Most important part. You're the boss girl. Do the things that make you feel good and ban anyone who wants to kill your vibe or push your limits. I really hope you're able to stick to camming if it's this positive and meaningful for you.

Edit:blame my phone and awesome deleting skills for not being able to quote properly hah.

Thank you so much like seriously everyone being so nice and supportive makes me want to cry happy tears. I was so scared going into this that everyone would be mean to each other and that I wouldn't be able to relate to anyone. I've been putting off camming this week because I just was so depressed and busy doing other things, and I felt guilty for not going online because of my personal issues. But like I feel so much better now that everyone has been so accepting and kind

 

[JerryBoBerry]

But if you feel like you are never going to cum on cam, then fake it. I am almost genuinely sure that the girls that look like they're falling into an epileptic seizure from a single tip on their OhMiBod are faking it, and guys love that sh*t.

"And SOME guys love that sh*t."


Trust me, many do not. It's commonly mentioned with great contempt in the lounges. The seizure act is stupid looking and obnoxious. The last time Leo was in lounge10000 asking for suggestions I even went so far as to ask him for a way to filter out models with certain keywords in their topic. So those with 'ohmibod' or 'lovense' would not even appear on the homepage. As soon as they got rid of those words they would appear again. So no, all guys do not love that shit.

 

[EspiKvlt]

My fake orgasms and my real orgasms look exactly the same. I just watched what I did when I orgasmed for real in videos and copied it when I fake it. Trust me, people won't be able to notice.

 

[Carmita Bonita]

If no guys enjoyed over exaggerated omibod shows they wouldn't be so highly successful for some girls. Just pointing that out. Sure people can fun of them and some people highly loathe them but that hasn't stopped members from opening their wallets for it.

I also don't think some guys are that intuitive of real orgasm vs faking as they think they are.
In my experience being on a pay-for-play site like SM very few guys actually want to see a legit orgasm so much (even when they say they do!) as they want to direct everything and see a performance catered to them. "finger...harder...faster...cum now bb!" I've even noticed this when I was on token sites as well. the amount of guys who would be like "omg you just came so hard!" just because my pussy got creamy or something was quite a lot O_O

Or as I noted before guys claiming you're faking when you actually did cum since it wasn't as porno explosive as they were expecting. Or there was no squirting.

I know guys want to believe they are female orgasm pros but even guys IN person sex you often can't tell the difference.
I.E:
"Did you cum?"
"Wow you came so hard since you got so wet/clenched/moaned loud"

 

[SaffronBurke]

If no guys enjoyed over exaggerated omibod shows they wouldn't be so highly successful for some girls. Just pointing that out. Sure people can fun of them and some people highly loathe them but that hasn't stopped members from opening their wallets for it.

I also don't think some guys are that intuitive of real orgasm vs faking as they think they are.
In my experience being on a pay-for-play site like SM very few guys actually want to see a legit orgasm so much (even when they say they do!) as they want to direct everything and see a performance catered to them. "finger...harder...faster...cum now bb!" I've even noticed this when I was on token sites as well. the amount of guys who would be like "omg you just came so hard!" just because my pussy got creamy or something was quite a lot O_O

Or as I noted before guys claiming you're faking when you actually did cum since it wasn't as porno explosive as they were expecting. Or there was no squirting.

I know guys want to believe they are female orgasm pros but even guys IN person sex you often can't tell the difference.
I.E:
"Did you cum?"
"Wow you came so hard since you got so wet/clenched/moaned loud"

I've had sex irl with people who really had no idea, despite claiming to be experts. I've been asked if I came or not despite having several orgasms, I've had to do a big over-the-top fake orgasm to get a guy to stop fingering me because I was all cummed out and getting a little sore, I've had guys claim I just came because I just got a little wetter, when I didn't at all.

No matter HOW a lady cums, half the dudes watching will swear a real orgasm is fake and a fake one is real. They're SO BAD at being able to tell.

 

[Nymph3tte]

I've had sex irl with people who really had no idea, despite claiming to be experts.

Literally chiming in just to say that GIRL, SAAAAME.

 

[VeronicaChaos]

Hell, even I can't tell when I cum half the time when I'm editing show recordings, and I definitely am more expressive with them when I have an audience and am watching myself. It always seems more obvious on the screen while I'm having them hahaha.

 

[VeronicaChaos]

"And SOME guys love that sh*t."


Trust me, many do not. It's commonly mentioned with great contempt in the lounges. The seizure act is stupid looking and obnoxious. The last time Leo was in lounge10000 asking for suggestions I even went so far as to ask him for a way to filter out models with certain keywords in their topic. So those with 'ohmibod' or 'lovense' would not even appear on the homepage. As soon as they got rid of those words they would appear again. So no, all guys do not love that shit.

FYI, lovense is not the same as an ohmibod and is quite capable of enticing legit orgasms, unlike the latter. Just wanted to mention that for readers because people clump them together and it's like comparing an the mini hitachi keychains MFC gives out at conventions with an actual hitachi.

 

[Cherry Bomb]

FYI, lovense is not the same as an ohmibod and is quite capable of enticing legit orgasms, unlike the latter. Just wanted to mention that for readers because people clump them together and it's like comparing an the mini hitachi keychains MFC gives out at conventions with an actual hitachi.

I love this comparison!
I wish members were aware of the massive difference between the two products.

 

[JerryBoBerry]

FYI, lovense is not the same as an ohmibod and is quite capable of enticing legit orgasms, unlike the latter. Just wanted to mention that for readers because people clump them together and it's like comparing an the mini hitachi keychains MFC gives out at conventions with an actual hitachi.

For those two it's not really how well they can perform. The main reason I lump them together is just because of the over the top fake performances they elicit. When you've seen the woman use other toys for quite some time and she has an orgasm in a certain manner, usually a bit more tamed down. Then all of a sudden a single 10 token tip causes her to flop around like a fish out of water, it goes beyond fake into insultingly stupid. If those toys were duct taped to jackhammers their responses might be more appropriate. But just another vibrator like you've seen her use a thousand times before with much different results. That's the annoying part.

It's like going to see Shakespeare at live theater. You've read the play, watched the movies several times, but tonight they decided to replace Kenneth Branagh with Carrot Top.

 

[marlasinger]

Not if I'm alone and watching porn, but for some reason I can't orgasm unless I'm watching porn alone or having sex. During sex I probably only orgasm like 10% of the time though. I think my anxiety is a big part of that, because I find it hard to relax around other people.

Don't quote me on this, but I read somewhere that you can get used to cumming a certain way and only can cum that way. I know for myself I always masturbate on my stomach and literally can not cum on my back. Feel free to try smaller toys, vibrators, different positions, and really trying to relax yourself before doing it, like going slow or being really sensual. Light some candles, rub lotion on your body, juts do stuff that makes you feel good. Maybe put some porn on while you're doing a cumshow! Even when you're not on cam. Don't be afraid to explore your body and find out what really turns you on.On and off cam. And lube is your best friend lol!

I totally get you with the whole antidepressants and libido thing. My birth control absolutely fucks with my libido. And like others have said, you don't need to do a cumshow! You could just even play with yourself without needing to cum.

 

[Cr33pyKi77y]

Don't quote me on this, but I read somewhere that you can get used to cumming a certain way and only can cum that way. I know for myself I always masturbate on my stomach and literally can not cum on my back. Feel free to try smaller toys, vibrators, different positions, and really trying to relax yourself before doing it, like going slow or being really sensual. Light some candles, rub lotion on your body, juts do stuff that makes you feel good. Maybe put some porn on while you're doing a cumshow! Even when you're not on cam. Don't be afraid to explore your body and find out what really turns you on.On and off cam. And lube is your best friend lol!

I totally get you with the whole antidepressants and libido thing. My birth control absolutely fucks with my libido. And like others have said, you don't need to do a cumshow! You could just even play with yourself without needing to cum.

Yeah and for me I started masturbating with a clitoral vibrator so when it comes to insertion I really know next to nothing about what feels good for me. I think your advice may be right, maybe if I took the time to relax myself it would be beneficial. Especially since I really don't know what I like that much, that's probably part of my problem too.

 

[CatEarnshaw]

So I have this problem where I can't really cum when anyone is watching me. Even with my boyfriend's eyes on me I struggle to let go and orgasm. I've also noticed my antidepressants and birth control have both negatively effected my libido, and I'm also built small if you know what I mean. So insertion is pretty much impossible when I'm on cam because the only thing I can generally use comfortably is the back end of a thick sharpie marker but Chaturbate doesn't allow the use of things other than sex toys for insertion. I know that most people would logically not choose to be a camgirl with these issues, but it's really helping me with social anxiety, my low self esteem, and it's getting me to socialize more and be able to brighten people's days. I don't want to stop camming, but I'm not exactly sure how I can make it worth everyone's while if I can't do anal play, or vaginal insertion, or orgasm on cam. I'm very new to this world so I'm not sure what types of shows others do, but I'm worried that it'll be impossible for me to succeed with all of my problems :/ Do you think I could still get by with these barriers or would I be better off relying primarily on manyvids/panty sales?

I don't do cum shows or insertion of anything and been camming since 2014.

 

[Sienna_Sol]

When it comes to reaching an orgasm in other ways, my best tip would be to try to amp yourself up for it all day. Either with your partner or own, just tease yourself a lot. Flirt and touch and kiss and sext and just TEASE all day leading up to it. I know that's a lesbian thing, but there's no reason a man can't do that for you as well!! Then, when it gets down to it, edge a lot. If I'm alone, I like to watch really good porn for like half an hour and refuse to touch myself. If it's with a partner, I like to go down on her and spend a ton of time on her at first. Then it is way easier to reach an orgasm because you're literally losing your shit. With time, I taught myself to cum vaginally, while before I could ONLY cum clitoraly. Just don't give in too early. It's definitely possible to have different, longer, stronger orgasms with some practice.

On cam, however.... Fake it. They can't tell. Just practice faking it in a non-sexual context with your partner and see if they think it's believable. That's how what I do.

 

[Cr33pyKi77y]

I don't do cum shows or insertion of anything and been camming since 2014.

That's awesome! I'm so glad there's room in the industry for what I'm comfortable with c:

 

[Cr33pyKi77y]

When it comes to reaching an orgasm in other ways, my best tip would be to try to amp yourself up for it all day. Either with your partner or own, just tease yourself a lot. Flirt and touch and kiss and sext and just TEASE all day leading up to it. I know that's a lesbian thing, but there's no reason a man can't do that for you as well!! Then, when it gets down to it, edge a lot. If I'm alone, I like to watch really good porn for like half an hour and refuse to touch myself. If it's with a partner, I like to go down on her and spend a ton of time on her at first. Then it is way easier to reach an orgasm because you're literally losing your shit. With time, I taught myself to cum vaginally, while before I could ONLY cum clitoraly. Just don't give in too early. It's definitely possible to have different, longer, stronger orgasms with some practice.

On cam, however.... Fake it. They can't tell. Just practice faking it in a non-sexual context with your partner and see if they think it's believable. That's how what I do.

Yeah I've been thinking of trying stuff like that to solve my problems IRL, and I probably won't fake it but I guess it's true that many wouldn't even notice if it's done well lol

 

[LaceyRoyce]

When i started camming i didn't do any insertion in public chat because it was technically against the rules and i thought i would miss out on privates because of it. I only did hitachi shows in public.

You're fine, do your thing.