Ok so... yeah the title of this entry pretty much sums up how random and ranty the contents within might be. My brain hasn't fully turned itself on for the day (mmm turn me on bb) so there is no method to my madness at the moment.
First of all, it's more than halfway through January. The first month of the new year, nearly over. Like that! (*snaps fingers.*) Last year at this time, I was actually working full time at my day job, trying to train new people, write documents on how shit's done so they can transition into "Life without Amber" in order for me to do MFC full time. I was hardly working on cam this time last year. I can't look back and compare it to see if this January is just as weird (token-wise) as last since I wasn't giving it my full attention like I am now. It's been strange! One day I feel like I need to bust out some cheesy gimmick to get a few tips, the next day my sweet friends are tipping me out of the kindness of their hearts for nothing more than the promise of a few fun pictures. The world is a crazy place.
Speaking of crazy: this week is making me nuts. :-D Sunday and Monday threw me for a loop in my personal life. And as I said on Twitter, its not anything bad, just different. Jawbs and I actually had a wonderful couple days, just had a lot to plan for and think about. Not that I need reminding, but it did remind me that I have a wonderful life and I'm ever so grateful for my family, my job, my friends (thats you!) and my cozy home. Also, getting pretty hardcore drunk on cam on Tuesday really fucked with me. There are moments that people are describing to me that I can hardly remember, and I know there were a few minutes there that I was scared I was gonna close my eyes and pass out right on cam. That's not me! I am responsible Amber. I even got all blubbering emotional idiot apparently. MADNESS!
The hangover yesterday was certainly no fun. I was tired from hardly sleeping aside from the headache and dizzyness. Plus I had to go run some errands out in the real world. That's never fun for me. Leaving my cozy bubble of my house is a scary thing. PS: don't be too jealous of my barbie hot pink nail tips with baby blue sparkles. :dance:
I feel like there's a ton of things that I want to accomplish but have my days where I feel like I'm failing hard at them. I said earlier this year that I want to make top 20 each month on MFC. Its pretty obvious that there are a shitload of other girls who have started making more tokens (yay them!) and also are trying to finish there. Each month that goes by it becomes more apparent that it takes more tokens to get there in the end, so I just have to keep working harder/longer hours. There's going to be a certain point, though, that I just can't do it. It may be that I'll have to just start focusing on achieving my financial goals and wherever I end up in the ranking is just where I end up. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't get any harder, and that I can keep entertaining my friends and fans as well as I have in the past. I really do like seeing my name up there at the end of each month, so before I throw in the towel on that (I know, it's only the first month, don't get ahead of yourself, silly Amber!) I need to see how the next couple weeks/months go. I also may change up my cam schedule just a tad. Changing which days of the week I come on in the daylight hours, and which I get on after dinner and work til bedtime. I'll letcha know!
The other thing is maintaining my weight and figure. Something I know for sure is that I can't drink the way I did on Tuesday and expect to not put on a few pounds! LOL alcohol and the effects of it are NOT weight friendly. I lost 11 lbs during my gallbladder issues, gained about 4 back immediately, and wanted to maintain where I was. I've not been doing any exercise which is my first downfall. I feel extremely lazy when I'm not on MFC and haven't been eating as healthy as I could. We've planned on getting a treadmill (to replace the elliptical) and keep putting off doing cardio until then. As I said on Twitter the other day, I'm the Queen of Procrastination (not penetration! sheesh.) and just need to get my mind in the right place and get on track in this department. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to this kinda crap. I need to be more proactive than reactive, but easier said than done.
So... I think I might be done rambling by now. I highly doubt many people made it this far in the blog. If anyone wants to humor me and show me they actually finished, reply with "potato apple jacks" and I'll feel better about myself at least for a minute. :lol: Someone said last night on MFC that it's ok to be real, and show off the real side of me at least once in a while. I think I gave you a heavy dose of it in the paragraphs above. I have about 2 hours before I'll be subjecting myself to the likes of MFC today, so I'm off to find something decently healthy to eat and maybe log on WoW for the first time in a couple days. Wonder if any Army members are around...
First of all, it's more than halfway through January. The first month of the new year, nearly over. Like that! (*snaps fingers.*) Last year at this time, I was actually working full time at my day job, trying to train new people, write documents on how shit's done so they can transition into "Life without Amber" in order for me to do MFC full time. I was hardly working on cam this time last year. I can't look back and compare it to see if this January is just as weird (token-wise) as last since I wasn't giving it my full attention like I am now. It's been strange! One day I feel like I need to bust out some cheesy gimmick to get a few tips, the next day my sweet friends are tipping me out of the kindness of their hearts for nothing more than the promise of a few fun pictures. The world is a crazy place.
Speaking of crazy: this week is making me nuts. :-D Sunday and Monday threw me for a loop in my personal life. And as I said on Twitter, its not anything bad, just different. Jawbs and I actually had a wonderful couple days, just had a lot to plan for and think about. Not that I need reminding, but it did remind me that I have a wonderful life and I'm ever so grateful for my family, my job, my friends (thats you!) and my cozy home. Also, getting pretty hardcore drunk on cam on Tuesday really fucked with me. There are moments that people are describing to me that I can hardly remember, and I know there were a few minutes there that I was scared I was gonna close my eyes and pass out right on cam. That's not me! I am responsible Amber. I even got all blubbering emotional idiot apparently. MADNESS!
The hangover yesterday was certainly no fun. I was tired from hardly sleeping aside from the headache and dizzyness. Plus I had to go run some errands out in the real world. That's never fun for me. Leaving my cozy bubble of my house is a scary thing. PS: don't be too jealous of my barbie hot pink nail tips with baby blue sparkles. :dance:
I feel like there's a ton of things that I want to accomplish but have my days where I feel like I'm failing hard at them. I said earlier this year that I want to make top 20 each month on MFC. Its pretty obvious that there are a shitload of other girls who have started making more tokens (yay them!) and also are trying to finish there. Each month that goes by it becomes more apparent that it takes more tokens to get there in the end, so I just have to keep working harder/longer hours. There's going to be a certain point, though, that I just can't do it. It may be that I'll have to just start focusing on achieving my financial goals and wherever I end up in the ranking is just where I end up. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn't get any harder, and that I can keep entertaining my friends and fans as well as I have in the past. I really do like seeing my name up there at the end of each month, so before I throw in the towel on that (I know, it's only the first month, don't get ahead of yourself, silly Amber!) I need to see how the next couple weeks/months go. I also may change up my cam schedule just a tad. Changing which days of the week I come on in the daylight hours, and which I get on after dinner and work til bedtime. I'll letcha know!
The other thing is maintaining my weight and figure. Something I know for sure is that I can't drink the way I did on Tuesday and expect to not put on a few pounds! LOL alcohol and the effects of it are NOT weight friendly. I lost 11 lbs during my gallbladder issues, gained about 4 back immediately, and wanted to maintain where I was. I've not been doing any exercise which is my first downfall. I feel extremely lazy when I'm not on MFC and haven't been eating as healthy as I could. We've planned on getting a treadmill (to replace the elliptical) and keep putting off doing cardio until then. As I said on Twitter the other day, I'm the Queen of Procrastination (not penetration! sheesh.) and just need to get my mind in the right place and get on track in this department. I am my own worst enemy when it comes to this kinda crap. I need to be more proactive than reactive, but easier said than done.
So... I think I might be done rambling by now. I highly doubt many people made it this far in the blog. If anyone wants to humor me and show me they actually finished, reply with "potato apple jacks" and I'll feel better about myself at least for a minute. :lol: Someone said last night on MFC that it's ok to be real, and show off the real side of me at least once in a while. I think I gave you a heavy dose of it in the paragraphs above. I have about 2 hours before I'll be subjecting myself to the likes of MFC today, so I'm off to find something decently healthy to eat and maybe log on WoW for the first time in a couple days. Wonder if any Army members are around...
